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| Blogs > softrayne > A New Box of Crayons |
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Letters Written, Never Sent *goingtobeokrayne* |
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I'm not expending any more of my emotional energy on you. I wrote these for myself to get a sense of closure, since that is something you will never provide for me. Ghosting is a right bitch. Especially after a year of chatting. So, just for my own recovery, if I were to ever contact you again, these would be the content. #4. Thank you for everything you taught me, I wish you well in your journey. #3. They say karma is a bitch, but I honestly don’t want anyone to ever treat you, the way you treated me. #2. Ok, I finally got the hint. I can see the billboard sized writing on the wall. You don’t wish to correspond with me anymore. That’s fine. I just wish you had the courage to tell me that face to face. I thought we had a deal. I though you made a decision to meet. You told me you had. If you weren’t planning on that ever happening, I wish, again, that you had just told me. I would have been gutted, but at least I could have tried to start putting you behind me. I feel like I was trapped in some sort of limbo. I felt like a cheap internet whore. You said if I continued to cyber with you, we would schedule a meet. I kept my end of the bargain. I feel like I gave you what you needed, but once again my needs were deemed unimportant. I guess I should have gathered that from your history. I’m a smart woman, but damn if I’m not stupid where you’re concerned. I was hoping our weekend would bring closure to our “relationship” I felt like, I would rather “regret” (not the right word) sleeping with you once, than never sleep with you at all, and regret it for the rest of my life. Now I guess I’ll never know. Such is the way of things, I guess. You hurt me. That may have not been your intent, but it happened. I know that you are not responsible for my reactions, I get that. And I know at times I was irrational and needy, but I think we can both agree that that only really started to become an issue once you went to California, and you didn’t make an effort to keep in touch. Maybe you thought you did, but you didn’t really. As I mentioned before, taking 45 seconds out of your day to wish me a good morning or whatnot, would not been that hard. But apparently it was. Your lack of effort was the big thing. Especially since I was really, really trying to make this work. Trying to hard I guess. I thought you cared about me. You said you did, but you didn’t show it. And now I know that you never really did. #1. You are a fucking coward! And a liar! And a user!
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The ghosting hurts, really hurts and, unfortunately, there are many of those cowards. I won't preach, I promise, but take the good in you and what you've learned and forge a path for a positive future. Okay, enough preaching. Sending you lots of hugs 
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So many of us here on Alt have encountered similar situations... We got the T sirt so to speak. I disagree with #3 tho... When this happened to me, I DID wish that someone would treat her like she had treated me... Does that make me a bad person.... to be honest, I dont give a flying f**k. If she had not treated me badly I would not have those feelings... But karma doesn't play when you want her to, so these ppl never seem to get their comeuppance.
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7/17/2022 12:12 pm |
You value and your beauty don't decrease because of others inability to see them . . If they don't have integrity, nothing else matters . . If they do have integrity, nothing else matter..
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YA, so many similar cases. I've come to the point that it's not real until I meet them. I keep my emotions on hold until the words on a screen are backed up with actions in person.
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In hurt for over two years because of someone who dropped out of any contact. It was real time. The mistake I made was allowing it to affect me in a way I ignored any possibility of a relationship with anyone else. twenty years later, it may be to late to find a good connection. "One Big Sky Covers Us All Equally"
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I have a few drafts in my email folder. I use them as a reminder, sometimes.
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Mmm, what to say? YES you guessed it so I am not going to add insult to injury. Beautiful sexy Rayne, you know you deserve better, AND you will eventually find better. Make the bastards prove their worth to you, and until they do, keep your heart off your sleeve. Drive the bastards crazy for desire for you, AND remember, you are special and worth their effort, and if they don't make that effort, piss them off out of your life, because YOU don't deserve that sort of treatment.
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I feel ya girl you’re not alone iT suKs!
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7/18/2022 9:17 am |
Harden your heart and turn your back on people like that. You can forgive them if you want but don't ever go back you'll just get more of the same. Focus on what's important in your life. Don't be an option. Point them to the gutter where they belong. Next time I won't hold back...find something to smile about today..It's there...just look for it.
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