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| Blogs > softrayne > A New Box of Crayons |
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The Power of the Power Exchange *reallyneedingthisrayne* |
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So, in the last month or so, I’ve had the opportunity to play with a few (2) people. And it involved (for me) the usual kinky fuckery. Bondage, flogging, fucking, various impact toys, blindfolds, etc., etc. And while it’s been…….nice, ultimately it’s fallen flat for me. I feel……disconnected. And what I’ve come to realize, is, there was no power exchange. I was just…….there. And it was fine and fun and what have you. But ultimately, it was unfulfilling for me. It was more of a bottoming situation, I think, which I know works for some, but for me, it’s the power exchange that really dampens the panties. That conscious decision to say ok, here’s my power, take it and use it to benefit us both. I really miss that.
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8/31/2022 12:27 pm |
Many believe that a power exchange is when one person tells another what to do . . and they obey. Actually that is a power imbalance. When a dominant man truly loves a submissive, she becomes his weakness. When a submissive woman truly loves a dominant, he becomes her strength. That is an exchange of power. It is that chemistry of ebb an flow between a Dominant will and an submissive will that can't be found without the depth of a real relationship.
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It will be different when you have that mental connection with your Dom or Master. Howling at the moon and mal ad osteo.
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I understand this completely! It's that exchange that happens when a true connection is made and it's not necessarily about power in any way.
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Hm...perhaps you need a DOM that’s assertive more vocal & into role play mixed w all the other kinks to give you fulfillment?!
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That is why I can't understand how you can do this casually. Much more is needed.
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You will find your connection soon
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I sympathize with your cause. I believe there are very few men out there that are truly dominant. Partner that with making a connection with that certain someone. It really is difficult to make the spark you need to have a truly moving experience. That's what I'm looking for at the end of the day. How about you? "Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”
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My suggestion is don't talk about play or sexual activities, that is sort of a given if you wander the halls of kink university. Stick to the elements of interaction. Pose questions that put him in situations where he should take control and indicate his dominance. it may be subtle or overt. "One Big Sky Covers Us All Equally"
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Without connection it is just sweating which can be achieved with going out jogging, too. And I can guarantee you would feel more content after jogging. Dont give up on who you are and what your needs are.
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rayne Again, you remind how important the brain is in the Life-Style! I too hope you find some-one soon A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. George Bernard Shaw Jenny
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TOLLE SEXY LIPPEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Yes,that was what i was missing, all the time, too Wiit those two guys i let to touch my body, BUT never my soul. It was a game, it was playing bottom, and gaining nothing, on an emotionel, mental scale. So empty and lonely. This, in my eyes, is impossible to have, without FIRST the mental connection. And, as allijaed says; there are very few men, who really ARE dominant, instead of taking on a (sexual) role.
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Beautiful Rayne, you are learning and growing more and more every single day with every new experience. YOU know what you need, so there is nothing for you to change within yourself, it is simply a matter of having yourself out there and waiting for that dominant to come along and say, I like what you have to offer, and I am here to take it and use it for OUR pleasure. I have to agree, with what others have said above in that true dominants are hard to find, because for most of them here and on other sites, they came to this kinky life to find and have sex, much like the age of free love back in the 60s - 70s and 80s, and they found that to get that sexthey had to label themselves as dominants without really understanding on what was required. YOU are currently meeting those guys. As I said, you have yourself out there, so with that exposure you are going to meet more, and some will end up being closer to the type of dominant you are after. Hey Rayne, whatever happened to those from the past, like your Prince and that guy who thought you were something SPECIAL that lived half a world away?
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Happy New Year! I hope 2023 brings the power exchange you seek.
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You need the whole package.
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