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An Inquiry - Why are we still sending so many instant messages? Ever since the advent of voice chat, I've found myself a bit puzzled at the continuing popularity of instant messenging considering even the best typists can't type at the average rate of speaking, over 150 words per minute. Anyone who knows me is well aware of my appreciation for the written word but for the purposes of extended communication, the only advantage I can see to sending instant messages is the ability to have multiple conversations and multitask in other ways. Other than that, I'm beginning to think many are doing it out of habit but I honestly don't know. If I'm chatting with someone in IM, I do not engage others in conversation so my preference is for voice chat yet it seems many women do not embrace it from my experience and my curiosity has motivated an inquiry to all of you in order to understand women better. What are your feelings about email and instant messaging versus voice chat?  |
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9/18/2007 6:44 am |
nothing and i mean nothing will ever take the place of face to face contact....but anything that comes close is best because the written word if there is nothing else can and will be infused with the emotions of the person reading them.... warm regards, jilly within your heart keep one still secret spot where dreams may go
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nothing and i mean nothing will ever take the place of face to face contact....but anything that comes close is best because the written word if there is nothing else can and will be infused with the emotions of the person reading them.... warm regards, jilly You're so right; there's no substitute for face to face contact but I see a progression from a few emails to voice chat, viewing each other on cam (clothed, let's not get any ideas here) and hopefully meeting if all goes well. I just think we can exchange so much more information in the same amount of time by speaking as opposed to typing.
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alter~ unless one is really shy  i love IM because i am able to express myself to my friends without worrying about becoming tongue-tied, which is what generally happens... i'm less likely to be me, if i'm on the phone for fear of sounding stupid~ i'll be worried so much so, that i won't be able to enjoy the convo. now, whether that would actually happen...? dunno. but it has in the past. the whole discovery of alt and it's chatoom then meeting someone and taking it to YIM, has opened up a new world to me, changing who i am and how i express myself (or that i can even express myself in the first place) i have since gotten over my reluctance to phone my friends, but they are real time/met face to face/ have already seen how i can become flustered in convo...so there is less fear. a new person? i'd be right back into YIM for a long time before getting over the fear with that person... take care ~b all the world is birthday cake, so take a piece but not too much~ George H.
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amy, thank you so much for your input. I can totally understand why screaming children may discourage you from voice chat. You may have done all of this already but if you haven't, the mic setup on most IMs is fairly easy. In yim for example, you would go to Actions>Call Setup, then click Next. There you will see a drop down menu to select which mic you wish to use for your voice chat if you have more than one (such as your headphones which may have a mic or your webcam mic etc). There are colored dots which light up to indicate the mic level so speak or tap into the mic to see if you get the colored dots to light up. That's about all there is to it. The Next button will lead you to set up your speaker volume to hear the other person. As long as you don't have your Mute button activated, and your volume up enough to hear, you should be fine.
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alter~ unless one is really shy i love IM because i am able to express myself to my friends without worrying about becoming tongue-tied, which is what generally happens... i'm less likely to be me, if i'm on the phone for fear of sounding stupid~ i'll be worried so much so, that i won't be able to enjoy the convo. now, whether that would actually happen...? dunno. but it has in the past. the whole discovery of alt and it's chatoom then meeting someone and taking it to YIM, has opened up a new world to me, changing who i am and how i express myself (or that i can even express myself in the first place) i have since gotten over my reluctance to phone my friends, but they are real time/met face to face/ have already seen how i can become flustered in convo...so there is less fear. a new person? i'd be right back into YIM for a long time before getting over the fear with that person... take care ~b I suspect over time, you may become more comfortable and confident. I think being a little nervous when first speaking to or meeting someone is a healthy sign because it means you care which is my belief from my years of music performance. Some of the greatest musicians in the world become very nervous before every concert. It's not out really fear of failure. It's more a kind of excitement to me.
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rose, thank you for presenting your view. I agree with you there are many things you can tell from someone's voice that will be undetectable from chat, for example, anyone can type "LOL" regardless of how they're really feeling. Also, I like it for the same reasons others don't, because I wish to get a better feeling for their personality and while being quick witted is not the most important criterion for me at all, it's a plus and being nervous or sensing they're possibly a bit tongue tied wouldn't put me off at all. I would find it endearing and do what I could to help them relax. It's like any other initial social interaction, it usually works best if it's eased into. I will also never meet with anyone I haven't spoken to and I can't understand why anyone would. More importantly, I can't tell you how many hours I've spent exchanging email or IMs with someone who disappears for no apparent reason while I've found that those I speak with are far more likely to meet. I also wish to see anyone potentially interested in a meeting on webcam (clothed) just to see they are who they say they are and look like their photos. To me, these are real time savers for both parties. If someone is going to be put off by another's general appearance, mannerisms or speaking voice, than why go through hours of written communication? That's my perspective anyway.
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rather than post the whole thing here...wasting space and stuff... this is a post of mine, re: voices and calls. what DO you sound like take care ~b all the world is birthday cake, so take a piece but not too much~ George H.
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I really like that post ~b, especially the talk about the accents! So, do you really sound like Sally?
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yep, tho my ex didn't seem to think so. course he's prolly just being stubborn  i wanted ya to read the post, so you could see...first hand (as it were) the nerves that hit me when i figured out he was going for the phone. i still hesitate at using the phone, but the overall fear is gone...just a rabble of butterflies. (had to go look up what the collective term for butterflies was) and while i'm here... *taps foot* i thought for SURE you'd leave a comment on my post about music. lol ~b all the world is birthday cake, so take a piece but not too much~ George H.
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Is it a new post that you can see but the rest of us can't yet? I just visited and I honestly didn't see any music post. Maybe it's just another sign that this has not been my night!
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awwwwwwwwww, hugs alter nope it's an older one (got bumped to the second page) no worries it was just something i thought you'd make a comment on. shall i make it easy? jupiter, carmen, and sousa hope your day gets better hugs ~b all the world is birthday cake, so take a piece but not too much~ George H.
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I'm sorry b but sometimes, I see someone like you on my watched list has a new post and go there but it's not visible yet. At that point, the watched list no longer has you highlighted. Then by the next time I make it to your blog, I may have forgotten about the missed post and only look for the number of posts indicated on my list. At any rate, your music post is so lovely and I totally related to times when your mood demands special music you may not usually listen to. It's a really beautiful post. Thank you for the link! What instrument did you play in band?
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Well, your comment is a testimonial to the advantages to the written word in itself Naughty! There is an expressive factor to the inflections and rhythm unique to each person I love in voice communication and the quick witted factor adds another delicious dimension of course. There's an excitement you can sense when talking to someone that I can't perceive in written communication other than perhaps incredibly fast typing but that could just be excessive espresso consumption at work! hahaha Since my interest is exclusively for real time, I wish to hear their voice as soon as possible and have never experienced any women that sound like Bobcat! I do not sound like him either and have been told I have a pleasing voice. Perhaps if I sounded like him, I would be anti-voice chat! LOL
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silence, thank you for expressing your view of it so clearly. I see how IM can be a real advantage for someone shy or inhibited to verbalize freely with strangers on the internet. I suppose it gives a sense of a cushion between you and the other person. It also gives one more time to think if there's any discomfort over a particular topic. It's fascinating for me to hear the different reasons some women prefer it and wonder now if it wasn't for IM/email, would as many women be as open about communicating their alternative interests on a site such as Alt?
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silence, thank you so much for sharing your honest feelings about this. I can totally understand and from this standpoint, we all need to be so thankful for email and chat as I think many feel the same way you do and may have kept this part of their lives to themselves if the internet wasn't made available to all of us.
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Kitty, I completely agree with you but there is voice chat on the most popular IMs which allows for free calls computer to computer anywhere in the world. Face to face is always the best though when possible.
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