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tasina99 115F
62 posts
4/7/2023 6:29 am
Playing the Hand


Playing the Hand

A friend reminded me tonight that there is much to consider when looking for a prospective partner — we need to consider both the Dom and the Man in his entirety.

We can get caught up thinking that we are looking for a Dom, evaluate him for his Dominance qualities and forget to evaluate the man and his human qualities. What does the complete person bring to the table — what qualities, what value and what are his shortcomings. When put on the scale does he measure up. Do his strengths counteract his shortcomings, his weaknesses and do we balance each other out. Is he a taker? Will we receive all that we need from him. Do we pay attention to early warning signs or do we ignore them naively thinking he will change. When looking at his actions, are they consistent with his words — they will validate whether his words are a lie or the truth.

No one person is perfect. Our evaluation has to be done, not from the heart, but from the mind through thoughtful consideration, keeping our emotions out of it. Only then can we find out if he is “perfect for me” and choose to either play the hand we’re dealt or fold.

P.S. This post is equally applicable to all, regardless of role or position. Each ought to have a way to determine compatability.

I hope you have a winning hand.

tasina
April 6, 2023 (Updated April 20, 2023)

"like the seas, her depth and power will only be known by He who inspires her into submission”


DancingDom 74M
22614 posts
4/7/2023 9:25 am

Same for a submissive. I simply would not get involved for kink/sex connection. If I am not interested in them otherwise, what is the point. After-all, we spend more time in non kink/sex activities day to day in the first place.

"One Big Sky Covers Us All Equally"


MOCHAToy 30F
62 posts
4/7/2023 9:48 am

Great topic and some very valid points. Most people subscribe to the notion that people change. Typically mature adult don't change or alter their behavior. What you see is generally what you get. Some have master the art of presentation and putting on a facade when meeting someone new, however the "real person" will eventually surface and that's whom you will have to deal with or accept. It's unfortunate in this lifestyle that "monsters" hide in plain site. Use glowing words to entice and when the real person surfaces, it makes you run for the hills.

It's a tiring chore attempting me meet SANE people in this lifestyle. You kiss enough frogs and learn to spot them a mile away. Not everyone is a villain but the majority would rather hurt, harm, deceive or abuse someone rather than seek and mutually rewarding relationship. The internet has unleashed many monsters. So I say be careful and follow your gut feelings. Everything that glitter is not gold. Evil does not come wearing horns and a pitch folk, but most of the time he's dressed in a nice suit with hidden intentions.


subdude2Bsubdued 76M
294 posts
4/7/2023 1:14 pm

As long as the sub is aware that it is a two-way street. Afterall, the dom[me] should be entitled to apply the same criteria as the sub in making his/her evaluation. Yes, just as you state, noone is perfect, but the mining for truthful iinfo about a [rospective partner must be mutually reciprocated. Most dom[me]s would want/hope to be communicating with "the real" sub (in their entirety) and not some putative or nominal one (ie., a completely mysterious entity) merely sketchily adumbrated in a profile. I am in no way suggesting in this response that I object , per se, to what you advise subs ought be mindful of when making a decision as to a prospective dom]me]'s bona fides and trustworthiness. I am simply saying that both sides of the potential dyad need to share, up front, their expectations, do's and don'ts, etc., in order to make a more sound and informed decision. I am not denying, as well, the greater potential for danger and mistreatment to a sub that some nefarious and unscrupulous dom[me]'s can represent or embody. Both sides must make every effort to be as forthcoming and truthful in this type of advance Q&R.


subdude2Bsubdued 76M
294 posts
4/7/2023 1:16 pm

Q&A


Simplyalbertaman 71M
27 posts
4/7/2023 2:00 pm

We are all blended people, what that mix looks like is not always what is shared, however the importance of any contact with any person is always a consideration.

Balance in our dominance can be viewed as strength, weakness or just not seen at all. Often the truth is in the reflection that comes back to you when you are evaluating others. IMO

I am a bad boy, kinky guy. Come chat


likeithot19 62M
6112 posts
4/7/2023 3:29 pm

Old man take a look at my life I;m a lot like you were
I need someone to love me the whole day through



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