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M_Desiree 63F  
37 posts
11/9/2007 5:11 pm
Adjusting the sense of self


The submissive should realize that initially, in early stages, he is serving himself. Fulfilling his images, fantasy and desire... which too often seem to be needs. When he is considered by a Dominant, he must be willing to set aside and control that old sense of self and not delude himself into thinking he is prepared to serve Her, by continuing to serve himself.

This is not easy. The mind does not quickly change. A conscious forty days to change a habit, but it is necessary and can be accomplished by concentrating on the pleasure of the Dominant, and even more so by witnessing the growth of Her confidence and power while feeling the diminishing of your own sense of anxiety to be this or that, do this or that.

It is a slow and subtle dance. A deep beauty and underscores the futility of thinking/desire to meet "Someone" and immediately be Her submissive. It is a slow, sometimes frustrating, but sensual and true feeling of growth of Her power as She sees the him sinking to his place, and the submissive sees Her flourishing in Her dominance.

The old submissive serving himself is barely remembered as the slave finally surrenders to his true Mistress.

imdman_sub 66M
39 posts
10/18/2011 7:57 am

One of the items that hits home for me on this topic is that many people feel that submissives have a poor sense of self. I totally disagree. i know that i am submissive and that is an essential part of what i am. Knowing this makes me stronger as a person. Also, it is important to remember that the D/s relationship is just that a relationship. One can not thrive without the other


personaltrainee 68M

3/29/2021 11:17 am

This is exactly the kind of insight, to understand the control and exchange of power as it grows. And it is truly a reciprocal relationship, the sub to serve while satisfying both the dominant and those needs while the dominant serves by taking and fostering control. In an honest, transparent, trusting relationship building as moving forward. A beautiful thing...


personaltrainee 68M

3/29/2021 11:19 am

This is exactly the kind of insight a submissive craves to be part of, a dominant who understands the control and exchange of power as it grows. And it is a truly a reciprocal relationship, the sub to serve while satisfying both the dominant and those personal needs while the dominant serves by taking and fostering control in an honest, transparent, trusting relationship building as moving forward. A beautiful thing...


Jack3316 63M  
1 post
3/21/2024 12:49 am

I like this; I think it conveys the truth.



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