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Cause4Concern - Makes Me Wonder What do you do when you're going in circles with someone? You're stuck, ceasing to grow or progress. No one is willing to compromise or commit fully. It's a fantasy at that point or merely a convenience. The idea, not the reality. As social creatures we bond over shared interests and shared history. But how can people stay connected if there's no shared future? As time moves forward people grow and change as do their social circles. Some friends stay, some go. Old flames are extinguished while new ones burn brightly. But holding on to history is meaningless without looking forward or accepting that things and people change. A friend I've known for six years is going through the same mental angst as I. "We're two peas in a pod," she says, but our friendship is more than that. (Cue A True, True Friend) We learn from each other and don't have that sense of stagnation. Isn't someone like that better to be with than stuck affection? The Kite String Tangle & Dustin Tebbutt - Illuminate One night, long ago, there was dancing in a parking lot. Blitzed and tired we danced. The words that were spoken have long since faded but her smile remains. A brief moment in time lasting forever between us. No music but the sounds of the night air. The future would sour whatever we once had yet for that one brief moment all was right with the world. No sees the fights before the wedding or the struggles old lovers faced. "You never see the hard days in a photo album, but those are the ones that get you from one happy snap shot to the next." No one ever said this was easy. Same song, different time....  The last few days have kept the same thoughts of the last few months going through my mind. Went to the other side of the country for my niece's birthday which turned into helping my sister move. It's either a Disney fairy tale or Silence of the Lambs waiting to happen. It's not my business and I don't have the whole story but that's not what this edit is about; it's the fact that it's real. More articles about LDRs have been crossing the screen. All the tips and tricks vary and there seems to be a point that all agree on: an end goal. No relationship can survive if it's distant and there's no idea of what the future holds. That seems to be the difference between and adult relationships: relationships are a fantasy with little risk whereas adult relationships mean life changing choices. Mine has mostly been a fantasy or text based even when we lived in the same area. Very few plans were made and we were rarely seen in public together. Now that we're 3000 miles apart it's gotten even worse and there doesn't seem to be a future for us. We have different goals for our lives and they don't seem to intersect. Even visiting or planning anything together never goes beyond the drawing board. I can only stay silent about it for so long and to misdirect the angst is unhealthy for us both. I guess it's only a matter of time before one of us buckle. Planet Boelex - Galaxy Black Can't remember the last sex dream before last night; used to be unable to have sex dreams. This was special though. She had a lily tattoo on her front. Red head with lust in her eyes. But it wasn't about the act itself or the need to have sex. There was desire for each other. I wanted her and she wanted me. Been a long time since I felt wanted like that; maybe someday it'll happen again. It seems so right to think of the time we could have tonight... "One day you wake up and you're 45 years old...." Ever get the feeling that you're wasting time? That months will peel away and you'll be distracted by other things before you devote your time and energy to what your heart desires.... I'm only 28 but I feel that more time will pass before I'm on the right path. Another six months will go by before I can move and even then there has to be a spot for me. Then to find a place, start dating in that area, build a life, and get settled; another year minimum. And if I find that certain someone, another year to see if we're in it for the long haul, and another year for us to settle down followed by another year to plan for a family. Four years.....doesn't seem long but day by day it's an eternity. All this wasted time and energy only to waste more time and energy before I get where I'm going. And now I'm sad. Side Note....I fucking hate saying the word love. I'm not old enough to love yet. I have to earn it. Ever heard the expression "I sold my soul..." Course you have.... I sold my soul for a plane ticket. First they took my passion. Then they took my love. Now they've come for my mind. When will I say enough? |
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 Some very cool thoughts ya got going on there.You already know what I did for my birthday. I'm glad you got to birthday party it up too. Sometimes I make a move, sorry to leave my home, but hope I will find another of equal character. At night I gaze at the starry mass with no idea to which one the earth attached. May'be that cute little one over there or that one that sits alone in the inky black. ~~ 'My place amongst the stars' c/o former member SPB ~~
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