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What's a 'bottom' First a 'caveat'. When I talk to or mentor a new(er) submissive, I always give her My first rule of the lifestyle, which is: 'There are no rules about BDSM carved in granite anywhere ... It's what works between the two people involved'. For example, a submissive doesn't have to do this or do that or be this way or be that way in order for her to consider herself a submissive or for others to consider her a submissive. I hear too often that a submissive has been told she's not actually a submissive because she doesn't do certain things or act in a certain manner. Personally, I consider this total BS. I also tell a new(er) submissive that if you ask 100 different people to define a term you see used in our lifestyle, you'll get 100 different answers. That is fine and the way you'd expect it to be. Any 'term' will have common threads in the definition, but everyone will have their own little twist on it too. For example, "What is a 'slave'"? THAT definition will be all over the map. Today, I'd like your personal definition of "What is a 'bottom'"? In My experience, I've come to define the term as someone who allows herself to be used (bottom) for a specific purpose or purposes, not necessarily (and often not) related to sex. To expand, perhaps someone that enjoys spanking and will 'bottom for' a Dominant who loves to spank. Or someone who will 'bottom for' a Dominant who loves to flog, suspend, cane, or any other activity you can come up with. I could go on and on with more examples and try to narrow down the term more, but I'd like your personal definitions and thoughts. The more I think about it, perhaps the idea of a definition of BDSM terms is an oxymoron in and of itself. Your mileages may vary! G Make Women Female Again |
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I sure don't pretend to know how people use these terms. As someone relatively new and still exploring BDSM, I tend to shy away from labels. I appreciate you post and look forward to seeing what kind of responses it elicits. Shelley
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Yes, the non-submissive masochist would fit in under My definition of a 'bottom' for sure. True, you don't see too many describe themselves as a 'Top' or a 'bottom' here on ALT. I have seen a bottom profess herself to be so on occasion, but haven't seen (to My memory) anyone indicate they are a Top. Thanks for dropping in  GMake Women Female Again
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