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holding on to hate It must be a tough life, hating someone for some perceived slight and never being able to let go of that. The type of personality that holds a grudge is one I can understand, up to a point, but then it gets a little ridiculous in my eyes. If someone has seriously wronged you; cheated on you, destroyed your reputation, physically harmed you, stolen from you, or perhaps taken the life of someone important to you I can understand wanting to get some kind of revenge. At the very least you would hold ill will in your heart toward that person for a long time. What about lesser slights though? Do you think it’s healthy to spend decades of your life mad at somebody because they broke up with you, or maybe lied to you about something that wasn’t earth-shattering? Which things are okay to harbor and which should anyone with a hint of sanity left just let go, and move on? During my nearly 5 / five decades on this planet I have been wronged by a few people, but none of them so much that I am still angry to this day. The closest I can come to that would be my disgust for specific corrections officers that I feel treated me unfairly during my time in prison. No ex-girlfriends or lovers could even come close to warranting that sort of continued derision, even though some of them did do some pretty heinous things like tell lies and cheat. There have been neighbors I directed seriously bad energy towards, but the moment I moved away I let that shit go. Heck, I pretty much hated the entire city of Woodburn when I lived there for 5 / five years but some days I actually miss aspects of it, and would even go back for a brief visit. There are only 2 / two ex-friends whom I might hold any ill will towards, and I would welcome them back into my life with open but cautious arms. Maybe I’m just extremely lucky, or forgive easily, but either way I don’t carry around a lot of anger toward any specific person. Too unhealthy. An anonymous individual recently took a moment to leave a nasty comment on my WordPress blog. It is clearly from somebody who knows me, and has a connection to my past. If I were to guess, I’d say this person is always out there, lurking, and this was not just a random occurrence. I do understand the impulse to lash out; if I found the blog of a corrections officer I thought mistreated me while in prison I would probably do a bit of it myself. So while I call this person who left this recent message a coward for doing so anonymously, I also admit that I would likely be guilty of the same cowardly act. Perhaps that makes me no better than the person who left the comment, but intention and action are 2 / two very different sides of a coin. What I might do, this person has already done, and the committing of an act is far worse than just thinking about it. That being said, I am neither concerned nor bothered, it just gave me something to write about. Chances are the person who left the comment will see this, and feel some sort of pride that I’ve taken the time to “write about them” and I’m okay with that. Whoever it is, they need to lash out in order to feel good and I won’t inhibit that in any way. Get it out of your system and then move on with your life. The anger you feel is not healthy and will not serve you well. Let it go and be free now. |
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