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gay God or gay Santa? Yesterday morning, while motoring down our long driveway, I came upon a dozen or more DVDs strewn about the pavement. Almost all of the discs had popped free of their cases, so it was a small mess. It was raining at the time, but even through the wet and foggy window I could see that we’d been gifted some pornography. Hopping out of my van, I gathered them up and put them on a step ladder in the carport, then went about my day. At some point I sent my sex slave ChrisSwallows a message and told him what I’d discovered. He wondered if perhaps a friend had dropped them off because they were moving, or something far too altruistic for my pessimistic bones. They hadn’t been dropped off nicely, they’d been tossed on the ground, and friends don’t do that unless maybe they’re playing a weird joke. Someone angry, scorned or perhaps bothered by the fact that there are homosexuals living in our house did it. Could be it was a neighbor, but the timing seems odd and random. Chances are we’ll never know who did it, or if it was even intended for us. My joke to ChrisSwallows was that either gay God had left the DVDs for him, or gay Santa had come to our house early this year. Believe it or not, he actually went out, grabbed the discs and cases, and proceeded to dry them out on the kitchen table. I think he owns a DVD player but with all the free porn you can ask for at your fingertips online I can’t envision him sliding a disc into a player, grabbing the remote, and everything that follows. Even I am going to get rid of my porn collection before I go to my spot in Southern Oregon, and I spent decades collecting it, only to have it just sit in a box most of the time. Then again, maybe the novelty of all that I described is exactly what will heighten the experience for him. I admit it’s been so long since I turned on the television and slid a old favorite in that I’d probably enjoy it more than usual as well. Then the novelty would wear off and I’d start seeing digital online porn as superior. I know I’m digressing a bit here from the original point but that’s how I do things around here. Most people have gotten used to it. It has been months since we had anyone over for sex, and as far as I know my sex slave ChrisSwallows hasn’t had any liaisons, so it makes me wonder why this person decided to do this now. As I said, it’s not likely we’ll ever know, but if anything positive can come out of the mystery it will be that my roommate got himself some free porn. The morning after this incident nothing happened, so I’m left with the assumption / impression it was a one time, potentially random occurrence that at least gave me something to write about. Wow, that’s actually 2 / two good things that came from this! Hooray for random acts of weirdness I suppose.  |
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