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winter break I know I shouldn’t do this because it will affect my ranking and position on certain sites and, ultimately have negative consequences for my business, but I am taking a break from filming, promoting and releasing adult movies. I might also skip social media for a while; I haven’t decided yet. My heart, along with the rest of me, is just not into it anymore. Making porn is fun, but right now it’s too cold to do any filming, and quite frankly I’ve done just about everything there is to do. At this point, my play list is on repeat, and it’s really a wonder I can still get as aroused as I do when it comes time to step in front of the camera. Perhaps it’s a testament to my libido, but more likely an example of what going without sex for months at a time can accomplish. I have gotten naked, posed and masturbated on film a few hundred times, and done the same but while wearing feminine clothing a few hundred more. That’s just in the last couple of years, and doesn’t include all that came before. I am still interested in being a part of this industry, and would even like to begin filming again at some point, but I don’t know if I’ll ever have the same drive to create solo material that I have in the past. If I can’t find someone to make movies with I might just be done. The break is not really because it is wintertime but that’s a convenient excuse. Yes, it’s far too cold for me to feel sexy, but there’s more going on in my life that is influencing this. In April I will be officially moving out of the house I am in and headed to my spot in Southern Oregon, so my focus and energies are on that process. My original plan was to get set up there and continue to make adult content but I am not sure that’s how things are going to work out now. Perhaps I will be able to make the dream of owning an animal sanctuary a reality, but more likely I’ll just wind up paying off the land and simply disappearing. If I can grow my own food and collect enough water from nature I might go completely off grid, and my only real need for money will be for things like building supplies, gasoline, veterinarian bills and all that might go towards taking care of the animals in my stead. If I can make that happen via donations to the sanctuary I’ll no longer have to bare my flesh for the camera. Instead, I can focus it on the furry and perhaps feathered family that grows around me, and share that with the world instead of my erect penis. I have a feeling there might be a wider audience for the animals than my genitalia. Making porn has been fun, and I have very few negative things to say about my experience in the industry. Nobody took advantage of me or ripped me off, and I saw no abusive or bad behavior. Filming content did not in any way desensitize me, nor did it demystify the process, or sex itself. It was great being a part of something I enjoyed as a consumer, and I can honestly say that period of time in my life is one filled with very few regrets. I believe there is a saying; “Do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life” and for the most part that has been my experience making adult films. After nearly 15 / fifteen years of doing it, I think a lengthy break will do me good, and if I decide to resume at some point it won’t be a big, complicated decision to make I’ll just turn the camera back on and go for it like I did before. The revenue I’ve been getting from sales hasn’t been enough to sustain me for quite some time now, so losing it won’t be a great imposition, I just don’t like giving up on something I am good at, and enjoy. Perhaps new challenges are just what I need to bring my quality of life to the next level.  |
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