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HetFlexK 51M
157 posts
2/21/2023 11:24 pm
7 out of 9

Take a look at my inbox on the kink site Alt:



That is a pretty accurate reflection of what it is like on any site I belong to. Deactivated accounts invariably equal fakes because there aren’t many other reasons to have that done to you.

As you might imagine, I go through phases where I feel relieved to not be dealing with all the fakes and flakes. There’s certainly nothing gratifying about having your inbox filled with people who are likely trying to trick or deceive you. The lack of genuine interest compounds that negative feeling I get, and it generally leads to me either taking a break from the site, or quitting altogether. That’s how it was with the gay hookup site Sniffies; it was fun and interesting for a while but eventually it became a genuine bummer to visit. These days I stop by purely out of curiosity, but using the site to look for “action” of any kind long ago ceased to be an option. Trying to hook up with guys almost always led to frustration and disappointment, so I quit making an effort. Now I look at pictures, read profiles and ads for entertainment, then move on.

I don’t miss the negative experience, as a whole, but I do miss the exceptional moments where I did seem to be communicating with someone real, genuine, sincere. Of course I miss being told I am attractive and desirable as well, but that sort of positive reinforcement can come to me from many different sources. Ultimately I just miss the simple human interactions that felt like they could lead to something other than talk. Nothing ever did, but the possibility hung in the air long enough for me to enjoy it, and that was worth the time spent. Unfortunately it didn’t make up for all the lies and disappointments though, so I’m back to being a loner, with only myself as a source of consistent, positive feedback.

Dealing with fakes and flakes can take a toll on a person. Thankfully I can quickly, easily identify the majority before I even waste a single moment on them, but that’s not always true. It probably leads to my “normal” conversations sounding a bit suspicious and uninterested at first, because I am cautious and take a moment to make sure the person I am corresponding with is not just looking to waste my time. That’s how I have to treat my inbox, and I’m just a guy, I can only imagine what it must be like for females. Yuck.


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