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HetFlexK 51M
157 posts
8/5/2023 5:40 pm
still unemployed, still homeless

Don’t let the fact that I am staying with my friend ChrisSwallows fool you; I am by definition still very much a homeless person. He could, at any moment, decide it’s time for me to go and I would be in trouble. The original plan to shelter in my van would go into effect. As it stands, I have a roof over my head every night, which I am grateful for, but I do not have a home. There is no security in my situation, nor do I have any control, autonomy, privacy. This is NOT a complaint in ANY WAY, it is just the reality of things. I am still very much homeless.

The same can definitely be said for an occupation. I continue to look, every day, but there are many obstacles, and just as many dead ends. Deals that sound too good to be true turn out to be just that, and other situations that sound terrible wind up being even worse than I imagined. Doing gay massage could be lucrative if I were driving to instead of limiting myself to distances that I can bike to. I’d certainly be doing a lot better than I am right now. There’s potential for the purchase of another vehicle in my future, but regardless I know I cannot sustain for very long. My true attraction is not to men, so I’ve been getting lucky in that regard, when it comes to the service I provide. It’s one thing to get an erection when a guy you don’t find attractive is sucking your cock, but it’s quite another to accomplish that while you’re massaging him. I’m not knocking anyone, just saying that getting hard when I have my hands on a body type that I don’t find particularly appealing is not always an easy task. Being abstinent between works well, as does making it through a session without having an orgasm. That’s probably revealing too much, but you get the idea.

There are also remote, side hustle opportunities that I am looking into, but so far each has been a waste of time. I’m not saying the jobs themselves aren’t legitimate, it’s just that at some point it becomes clear I am not qualified, or not going to make it any further due to a glitch in the system. Wasted time exploring these jobs leaves me highly frustrated. Actually, the entire experience has me stressed out, and feeling hopeless. Am I still THAT unemployable? Is EVERYTHING a scam? As options dwindle, am I going to find myself facing the decision of whether or not to accept a job that I hate, just to survive? That last one is what scares me the most. I just want to work somewhere, doing something that doesn’t drive me insane. Not entirely sure what that is, but I’m looking!

Some compromises are going to have to be made soon. My firm belief that a person shouldn’t have to drive 20 / twenty miles to work (and another 20 / twenty home) may have to be set aside out of necessity. I’m obviously not going to be traveling that distance every day on my bicycle, but even with a motorized vehicle of some sort it seems excessive. I’m not sure what other sacrifices I’m looking at, but my quality of life is definitely going to go down considerably in the near future. Working a regular job, with regular folks, hasn’t agreed with me for MANY years. Alas, money is all that matters in this world, and I have none.



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