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libido killer Depression is a pretty effective libido killer; or at least it is for me. I no more want to get naked and nasty than I want to be alive and kicking at this time. No, I’m not feeling suicidal, just depressed. Right before I became homeless and started living in my van I had what I thought was a pretty good idea; I would film men jerking off in the passenger seat and sell the content. Putting my intentions on a hookup site, I immediately received plenty of responses, but found myself rarely in the actual mood. Men were clamoring to whip their dicks out and masturbate for me, but I couldn’t muster enough desire to follow through. And as my situation has gone pretty much unchanged, so has my lack of There have been plenty of times in my life where an anonymous hookup would have actually lifted my spirits, if for no other reason than it boosts my ego. Sure the sex (in whatever form it takes) feels good, but that satisfaction is brief. Sometimes the act of feeling “lucky” that I was chosen can linger, or the pure delight in the eyes of a guy as he takes my cock in his hands or mouth will be the high point of my day. Sad but true. I am a confident person, and don’t need others to tell me I am sexy, but when they do there’s no denying it feels really good. Until things get a little better, and more stable, I’ll likely remain this way. My plans for a video series will wait, but I think they’ll eventually come to fruition. Stuck in this situation long enough, I will find my ways to deal with it better, and might even come close to a level of happiness if I try hard enough. Meanwhile, my libido is on a very low simmer, just waiting for me to turn the heat up again…  |
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