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HetFlexK 51M
157 posts
3/9/2024 11:12 am
a bit of a routine


Despite the nagging depression that threatens to sink in and take over, I’ve managed to begin shifting myself into a rather comfortable, healthy, beneficial routine. It’s not perfect, and hasn’t landed me a job yet, but it has me more active and optimistic than I was in previous weeks. The biggest issue is the weather now; once it gets warmer and starts raining so much I can shift into a higher gear.

As with other unique situations I’ve been in, forced or otherwise, I find adapting and improvising to be the solution to many of my issues. Simple things, like how to make myself coffee, have been worked out because I persisted and got a little creative. As of this moment my diet consists of foods that are either dry, or require refrigeration, but nothing is being cooked. Being a sneak, I can make myself coffee, but doing something like soup is going to require additional creativity. I certainly don’t have the power to do it in my van, which means I essentially have to steal it from someone, somewhere. Again; not an ideal situation, but I am working on it.

Once I have a job, I’ll be able to afford a gym membership solely for the purpose of taking a shower. Technically, I can afford it right now, but with zero dollars coming in and no real job prospects in sight, every single cent is beginning to count. I’m okay on food, and there’ll likely be enough fuel in my van to get me through the rest of the cold, but with an additional monthly storage and phone bill you can see where I am struggling. This is definitely NOT where I want to be right now, on any level, but there’s no denying things could still be worse.

Accomplishing numerous simple tasks is better than accomplishing none at all, so that is how I am fighting my depression. If I make it through an entire day and I’ve done absolutely nothing, I’ll feel guilty and likely dip further into my unhappy state of mind. If, however, I can accomplish a dozen things, no matter how small or seemingly insignificant, at least I can say the depression didn’t fully get me down. In a game of inches, that can really be the difference sometimes.


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