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this predicament There was never a time in my life when I took the idea of becoming homeless seriously. Up until a few years ago I felt pretty confident in my abilities to at least come up with the basics required to be a functioning member of society, and that included holding down a job that would pay me enough so that I could afford a decent rent. As it turns out, my myriad mental issues combined with things like ridiculously high housing costs have led me to the place I am today. I barely managed to afford the van I am currently living in, and calling home, and there’s no conceivable way I’ll ever be able to work enough to reside in anything traditional like an apartment. The best I can hope for is another roommate situation where I’m not driven nuts by the person, or the surroundings. It’s daunting. The challenge of being homeless, of surviving without feeling hopeless the entire time, is one I’ve been able to conquer so far, but just barely. When it was cold, or there was literally 2 / two weeks of unrelenting rain, I regretted the situation I was in but there are other times when it doesn’t feel so bad. I know I can improvise and adapt, and things like better weather will eliminate some challenges while bringing others, so the simple fact is I better settle in for the long haul. Even when I finally get a job, and I am determined to do that, my living situation won’t change unless I meet a coworker or make a friend that has an alternative to share, offer, suggest. I am homeless for the foreseeable future, and I’ll admit that fact still hasn’t really settled in yet. I wonder when it will? My homeless issues are different than those of others, and it might even be true that my situation is not as dire. What I don’t want to happen, is for things to get so dire that I lose hope, and begin making bad decisions. The few friends I have (close and not so close) have stepped up so far, and I’m doing my best to match their efforts at the very least. So far I am proud of how well things are going and just need to keep working, fighting, struggling, making progress and above all never giving up. This will not be the way my story ends… |
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