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HetFlexK 51M
156 posts
3/27/2024 10:57 am
shifting desires

Throughout my entire life I’ve considered myself heteroflexible. Before that was ever a word, or a way to describe ones sexuality, I would have said I was bisexual, but didn’t like kissing, cuddling or getting romantic with men. In the end, I was just sexual - perhaps less discerning than most, but still undeniably attracted to women. That being said, my sex drive was impressive, and my comfort level exploring with men led to decades of gay sex. During those times I’d go through phases like only enjoying oral, only being a Dom/Top, only having anonymous encounters and so on. There have been lengthy periods where I absolutely would not have anal sex with a guy, because it repulsed me. Months later I’d somehow get over it, or magically find myself thinking and feeling differently, with oral sex suddenly being the thing to avoid. Call if a desire for variety if you must, but ultimately it was about mood, in addition to a host of other random factors. I wasn’t overthinking, just going with what got my cock hard.

My appetite for men has never been noteworthy. They’ve been easy, and readily available, which is all I really wanted from them in the first place. The longer I’ve gone without attention from females, the more my energy and desires have turned towards men, but only with the end goal being physical release and satisfaction. I’ve never looked for a relationship, or anything more than the briefest of social interactions. I don’t want to fuck and cuddle, just fuck and head out the door. And this has all worked quite nicely, because again; men are easy and readily available. With gay hookup sites and glory hole booths I am never left unsatisfied, unless by choice. In fact, sometimes it’s so easy to get a blow job, or whatever I want from men, that the fun has kind of vanished from the process. It’s not a challenge if all I have to do is drive a mile, enter a room, slip my cock through a hole in the wall and get it expertly throated. That’s not to say it still isn’t fun, but just not as much as it would be if it was a bit tougher to accomplish.

Which leads me to today. I feel my desires shifting, and to my surprise it is almost entirely away from men. As easy as it would be to get off, I think I might abstain for a while and try to save that energy, just in case I might be able to expend it on a female. Why I feel I might suddenly have the opportunity to do so is unexplainable, except to say that it is simply a feeling I have. If I begin working a job soon, there’s a good chance I’ll encounter a woman that is either customer or coworker, who makes me want to pursue dating her. If that is true I want to be sharp, not drained, and hungry. Does that mean I am swearing off men, or anything even close to that? No, it certainly does not, but it means my time and energy spent searching is going to be greatly increased. And if I get to the end of a week and no magic has happened between myself and a female OR male, I always know I have wonderful cock sucking friends who’ll happily take care of me. I won’t be left wanting, unless I am the reason for it.



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