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sharing my sexual past/story (1) My first erection also came with my first kiss, in first grade. It was with the second cutest girl in the school, and I would later go on to kiss the best looking girl, that same year. Then acne, dandruff, braces, and schoolwork took me out of the running for any more of those treasured kisses, for nearly nine years. The first and only wet dream I can remember was very disturbing. It involved a stall in a public bathroom, and a naked woman sitting on the toilet with a bullet hole in her forehead. Yet, I am not as fucked up as you might think. I learned about masturbation from a neighborhood , who also liked to “play” with his sister under the covers, at their house. I think we were in Junior High School but it may have been sooner. For a while, I did it wrong, but still managed to get myself off. I think the first two times, nothing came out, then I hit that big moment when there was actually ejaculate to witness and dispose of. Shortly after that, I began sneaking peeks at nude magazines and watching late-night Showtime and HBO, hoping for the sight of more than a pair of boobs. I don’t remember sex being explained to me, clinically or otherwise. Watching movies, and listening to people talk about it, I understood what needed to happen, and it didn’t gross me out or mystify me all that much. It did scare me though, and I wimped out of an opportunity to lose my virginity once or twice. Simply chose to break up with the girl instead of join her at that next level. I wasn’t so much afraid of sex, I was just frightened of maybe doing something wrong and getting laughed at. My first sexual experiences were really with boys my own age. They were actually friends that I could manipulate into doing things to/for me. These were the times when I was attractive to no member of the opposite sex, but still had desires as yet unexplored or unsatisfied. I would channel those unanswered wants into some time in juvenile detention, after writing nasty sex notes to a woman on my paper route, but that’s another story for another time. I did not lose my virginity until I was 18 years old. That’s right; 18. I wanted to be in love, even though I was desperate to perform many sexual acts, and so I waited. Not in all the years since, did I decide that I would only have sex with one gender. I’ve always known I would date and fall in love with women, but also knew deep down that I would wind up being intimate with more men. I can’t explain the reasons why this is so, but if I gave my opinion it would probably offend many of you. So, I’ll save that for later as well. I knew that I was kinky at a very young age. I used to spank the girls from across the street – there were three of them, and they were absolutely adorable – long before I even understood why it felt so good to do it. I remember we would also pee together. Not on each other, but we loved to watch each other. I wonder if those girls ever grew up to be perverts? I did not enter the world of kink until I was in my early 20’s, and found it so boring at the time that I quickly pulled myself right back out. Munches, negotiating scenes, and most of the rules/etiquette/attitudes that seemed to go with the BDSM folks/scene did not fit me at the time, so I chose to seek kinky partners outside of that community. I did rather well, and met some crazy people. There are plenty of stories to tell there as well. I have been married once, to a stripper, and we were divorced shortly after I got out of prison. Go figure. We were both sex freaks while we were together, but she still felt the need to “cheat” on me by being dishonest about the things she was doing. I can’t stand being with people who are bad, simply because it feels good to be bad, but I understand them. I was once one of those people, and can still be guilty of it from time to time, but hopefully on levels that are much less destructive to myself, and others. The rules I break now involve smoking a bowl or getting a blow job in the basement at work, not carrying on a relationship with two women at once without either of them knowing about it. I’m not trying to be that guy any more. Growing up, my cock was average length and width, but through the use of a cock ring and regular “exercise” I gained length, girth, stamina, control and strength. My prick is what it is today, not because I was born with it, but because I worked for it. That’s just a taste of my sexual story. There’s much more to tell, so stay tuned… |
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