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SLOWLY BUT SURELY..... In this current life journey ..like many i have suffered from inception suffered ..fallen ..learned a hard lesson and rose to my feet again ....time after time...never quite being able to gasp even a branch of happiness...nor the experience of loving or being loved but still i search ...deep bouts of manic depression and bi-polar attacks...made wose by too much time as a lonewolf..time to think and contemplate ..time to convince myself im not wothy of lifes sweeter gifts...each time i felt i found a glimme a slither of such it was like an automatic response to self hurt by destrrying that hope because over time when your shunned enough kicked enough when down you start to truly believe that is your place...even though in the deepest parts of yourr being you still crave to be loved to belong to be wanted for who you are to share such with anothe...kicked beaten bruised and broken again somehow im trying to find that spark..the one i started with the one that helped me rise above the emotional pain and loneliness...and agin im on my knees slowly trying to find my feet and exude the strength i once held...so though the flames the phoenix will rise...slowly but surely...if not this time then i hold no more hope for im tuly standing over the edge of reality...and im close to just letting myself teeter and fall..and succumb...not that i want to but im exhausted...so slowly but surely i must find what it was that kept me alive this long... |
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Slowly but surely the rise will happen It will come. Step by step rebuild from the embers a flame so bright the eues cant bare it. MsSwanger Journey into my soul.
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