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Flawed reality..... a wedding attended... hot day, still and quiet in the church... candles, crucifix, sacred hearts.. cloaked Men... a women singing beautifully... wooden benches, kneeling blocks... flowers, roses of heavy, velvet red, white freesias, glossy greenery..... peaceful, serene yet dark undercurrents always in my mind........ the bride in ivory, young, beautiful, tightly laced into her dress... vows made.... celebrations begin..... a moment in the service, the 'Father' talking of love, commitment, fidelity... my Husband next to me, He's watching my hands, i'm aware of his gaze... i wonder what he's thinking... of our marriage? of my hands, small, slender? of my wedding ring? then he points to a chip in my nail varnish, a flaw.... i get a sinking feeling.... that's what he was thinking....... sun shining, smiling people, families merging.. pimms... champagne... glorious food, wine, vodka and shot glasses on every table for the polish half, a custom readily embraced by the young english...... a close-up magic man, charistic, engaging, actual jaw-dropping feats..... a fire-eater... music... fireworks.... dancing.. all hopeful.... a perfect day... driving home... family have drunk well... re-establish familar bonds with cousins, aunts and uncles..... my head starts to pound... hard to focus on the road.... an hour to travel, an hour to hold it all together... those in the back sleep... my eldest helps me keep going... tunnel visioned... stomach twisting, temples screaming...... so close to home, so close... i have to stop... pull over.. wrench the door open and vomit immediately... watching the gormet food, so enjoyed, spewed to the tarmac... my stomach cramping, rejecting it all....... relieved... drive again.. home... bed... cool breeze.... sleep....... |
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Astonishing. So few words to convey a day and all the conflicting feelings with in it. Brilliant! Fucking brilliant!
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almost poetic in its structure...............sparse, haunting....................unexpected
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