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Were the trouble starts? Years ago, some friends told me, you can write the best profile ever, you can have a blog where people, prospect dominant- masters, can read all about your personality.. all is real great. BUT, if you dont go out there, meet real life people, no body is seriously going to act on just the info of your profile/blog. Right! Is that so? So, here i am, i have been going to "partys" and munches, since some years now. I really dont like the play partys, I dont like the meat market mentality. I dont like the way most men there, give you the all over look. I dont find it necessary or safe to show my body to all kind of riffraff, pretending to be "dominant". I dont like to "play" with some random bloke, just because he bought with a whip. I am not interested in some random play, just to "experience" that particular action. I just dont feel at home, at such parties. It is all for the show, the see me, acting dominant, look at how dominering! i am, show, show, show....  amp;The most people i have met on munches are the ones who act very juveniel. Making all kind of bad sexual "jokes"... Having a real nervous energy about them, all giggly, giggly. Cant seem to be able to start or have some decent conversation going on. Seems they have no real interested in having such conversation, at all. Or have real bad manners, it has happened soo many times now, some guy is watching, looking at me, i sense that, so i look in his direction, as soon as there is eye contact, they look away, time and time again! I find that bad manner! It makes me feel very uncomfortable. So, going to munches? I am bored to dead there, most of the time. Most people put some sort of image about themself out there, an image they maybe think will attract the right kind of person? Other people might 'like'? The other person, with also that image of themselfs, of what they think, others might appreciate, need, look for...? It is a freaking Christmas show, fake all over.... So? who is real and who is not? Nobody to have a decent ADULT conversation with.... all soo terrible shallow! So, what is left there? To be able to meet, finally meet that genuine adult dominant sadistic person? Or just a genuine dominant, who knows who he is. I really dont know. There is this other thing, i have a life, i dont have the time to go to munches every weekend?! Because, that is an other thing, those friends told me, if you go to munches, you have to become a regular, other wise, it still does not work.... yeah, yeah. networking this is called, yep! while all i witness at those munches are play/sex/roleplay/pornfantasy reinacting..... giggly, giggly. And a lot of cliquism. It is all and only just for the fun & sex, dont make such a big deal about it.  Yeah, right! I, never, in my worst nightmare i could have imaged that it would be such a horrow show, my search for a genuine, by character dominant-sadistic/master. never, ever. But, i geus these genuine, by character dominants/sadistic/ masters/dominas are also in the same situation. I wish you all the luck you can handle! You might need it. What a hellhole! Thanks, everyone who is real, honest, open and vulnerable. for their advice and wise words! I really appreciate that. I might go for some hibernation, might do me good! 
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 Slave rick
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10/25/2018 4:30 am |
If they look away, they probably aren't dominant. It's not rudeness, it's a challenge. It's polite to not fight, but... Anyway. I would not go to any portion of the scene, precisely for the reasons you don't like going. It's crass and crude, filled by people who think physical abuse is what being a dominant is about. I think by nature it would be avoided by the people you want. Drinking, drugs, casual sex, a good place maybe for doms looking to train subs who dont know better, but not a fun place for a real dom to be. Too much unpredictable chaos that could hurt the dom's possessions. There really isn't a good place for you to go, unfortunately. Even going to those meetups every week, you probably won't find what you want. I have a critique saying you will be just as submissive as he is dominant is telling potential Dominants that you intend to be a brat and have to be forced to submit all the time. That's pretty damn tiring, and probably not the message you are trying to go for. But anyone who spends the time to read it will understand that isn't what you are saying. Not everyone will take that time. Writing it in English probably wasn't a great choice given where you live. Maybe consider writing in Dutch on top and English on the bottom?
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rosa I have no answer just a warm hug! Having standards is hard but good for one's self - esteem.... A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. George Bernard Shaw Jenny
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i would love to make you at home ..  ..
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Picking up on Lili's comment, If the Dutch munches are too cliquish or juvenile, perhaps a trip across the border to Germany might produce a more receptive experience. I haven't been to either place, but, if the language isn't a problem, I have found that being the new guy (or in your case girl) in town sometimes produces more opportunities. We're all different, however, and I'm not necessarily looking for what you are.
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GSDru, Thank you for your wise words, it made me cry. Especially; "too much unpredictable chaos", that is exactly why i dont feel safe there. I mean, when he IS genuine dominant, and not into some sexgames, and calling that 'dominant', thát will only activate my submission more. I would not know, how to be bratty. Thats why all those play doms dont make any impression, except the want to vomit! And the urge to smack them on the back of their head, with a hot frying pan! A challenge? looking away and keep stare at me? at the same time? tiredsome... Yes, i was considering, writing in Dutch..... although i wonder if that would make any difference..... Thank you,
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Exhibitibi, Oh, there are also some groups of people who are in long established M/s relations, having their own kind of meeting.. with all kind of dresscode, and challenges for the subs/slaves, but then you already have to have a M/s... You can not go there, on your own, as a sub/slave. They want other couples to meet and talk with. They have very fancy meetings in Castles and such, in België and other places.
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Troy, Thank you, I understand what you say. you see, i am soo tired to hear all the time their storys about what they did with what toy, and all that kind of play talk. i dont have the patience anymore, it also makes me feel sick at the stomach. have heard that soo many times before. They are all soo very proud to talk about the bodily actions they do. They *do* bdsm. What has playing the sexdom games to do, with BEING dominant? Have no understanding about first the need for a mental connection. but, then again, they 'switch' from players, like changing their undies... sighs.... Thank you,
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Jenny, thank you, that means a lot to me, ! thank you
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Dreamcatcher, German is a totally different language then Dutch! I never learned to speak German properly, so that would not be a good idea! I will consider your idea, though, i might try that some time, who knows? Thank you,
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slave rick,
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Vlad,? Get a job!  
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Troy; I dont have much "experience", thank the Lords, and alas ,only a very bad experience; by such playdom geezer, with their totall lack of ethics, some, that is. i only know what i am and what i need, from a dominant, sadistic master. In a relation. I know myself, my needs. Thank you all, i really do appreciate all the imput.
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