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In many cases, In many cases, a submissive is (just) a strong person, looking for someone stronger. Found this some where on a SM site. |
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So sick and tired of all those weak men, pretending…. no backbone, no brain activitiy, no empathy… no SM knowledge at all, no mental strength, no common decency, Pffffff…... Yawns…..
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1/6/2020 3:11 am |
The whole subject is vastly complicated. Certainly there appear to be many 'dominant' men whose real condition is insecurity. Others are simply misogynists. But what is a strong person? How do you measure strength? It surely isn't just a desire to give orders and inflict pain.
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1/6/2020 3:43 am |
Being dominant is a lot more than giving someone orders or inflicting pain. any punk ass little bitch that wants to be an Alpha male can do that, but they cant be a real man. I see these wannabes on the home page that claim to be dominant telling women how hot they are and what they want to do to them, and they have never even spoken to the woman. Yet they are begging for pussy. It's pathetic. If someone thinks a woman is sexy then tell her when you know her. Someone dominant is always willing to standup for themself or someone they care about even if it mean taking an ass beating. You also wont see them drinking soy milk and eating an estrogen burger. Thats all I have to say about that.
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Well I take exception to much said in the comments. I am pretty sure if someone is drinking soy milk it is not a reflection of their manliness. There are a plethora of reasons that someone would not eat meat or ingest dairy. Making such comments though is a measure of a man, who thinks that such things designate the manhood of someone else. Insecurities are projected in many different ways it seems, but imho belittling someone else to assert your power position makes you appear much weaker than the person under attack. Tyrnavos makes a very interesting point. How does one measure strength? Tyrn is correct in that there are far too many people on Alt who equate domination with misogyny and those who feel their power only comes from belittling others. Many of us bloggers have written about men who are offensive, rude, haven't a clue how to approach a woman. That is a well documented fact (although mostly anecdotal) in the blogs. Strength though I think is subjective. I know how I perceive the strength of my Sir, but to another sub, he may not have strength in the areas they need. Every relationship is unique, and the give and take of that relationship evolves and changes as time goes by. The key is to grow together and continue to meet the needs of your partner. How Rosa defines strength in a Dom may be completely different than I do. Yet, we both know that strength when we feel it....and if we eventually submit to it. You found parts of me I didn’t know existed and in you I found a love I no longer believed was real.
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A submissive may just be a strong person looking for someone to take care of things for a while so he or she can relax and enjoy for a change.
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Insecurities are projected in many different ways it seems, but imho belittling someone else to assert your power position makes you appear much weaker than the person under attack. Sound logic..... And I think it's spot on too. Just as long as any dude doesn't eat quiche, he can be 'manly' despite the other food he ingests.... Real men don't eat quiche .... A natural law of the universe. Make Women Female Again
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1/6/2020 6:16 am |
Rose is absolutely right . . Her blog as been twisted mostly by people that don't understand the S&M and that it has few shades of grey. Surprising how judgemental an alternative lifestyle website can be.
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Insecurities are projected in many different ways it seems, but imho belittling someone else to assert your power position makes you appear much weaker than the person under attack. Sound logic..... And I think it's spot on too. Just as long as any dude doesn't eat quiche, he can be 'manly' despite the other food he ingests.... Real men don't eat quiche .... A natural law of the universe.  ....especially the manly man ones LOLYou found parts of me I didn’t know existed and in you I found a love I no longer believed was real.
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1/6/2020 7:01 am |
Gowron makes a good point. If you mostly like Beethoven, you should still be free to listen to Bach from time to time. I'm close to what Daddyslilpunkin says in her last paragraph. 'Strength' is subjective. In fact, I'd go further. For me, some women signal a quality which invites me to surrender to them. Some women signal a quality which invites me to subjugate them. Strength doesn't enter my mind. I suppose if I had to put a label on it, I'd call it a hypnotic power. But I'd rather just call it dominance or submission. As I said, it's complicated.
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1/6/2020 7:03 am |
(Her last paragraph, first post.)
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Hello to all! I must say i am very glad with this civilised conversation, about this topic. Great reactions. meandmrsjones196, The thing is, not all subs just need that for a period of time, but nééd that all day round, him being in charge in the dynamic, relation. This is NOT about letting sexually go, but first mental, in that sense, that the both or them really really know every in and out of the other person, know they will always be safe. Real life build trust. This kind of commitment takes time, is not about matching fetish lists and go from there..... Most play doms are not capeble to provide that. For a period of time, is to me, like sex-sm, play time.
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I think about his strength as him willing and able to guide me, make me feel safe and understood, in ALL aspects of life and sm too. Willing to invest time and energy in me, be stable, emotionally sane, have his shit together. Knows what he has to offer! Knows himself! Knows! what he is talking about. Most on here, dont know any thing about the deeper, mental needs.. Only have their hornyness to "guide" them, ego games You first MUST get to know the person, in all her aspects, before you will ever be able to dominate her... If he does not know her, in and out, what is he dominating? A BODY. no mental connection whats so ever. Without that mental connection, there is nothing just some silly sex games. Mutual masturbation. nothing more!
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punkin, You are so right! I met a vegetarian, wow, was he manly! man!  with humor too! Belittling is what most of those play doms do, as soon as "you" give them a reaction they cant handle, meaning you were speaking your mind! They are not even able to have a real conversation with you, Especially when you DONT agree with everything that falls out of their mouth....= No back bone, no brain activity.  Cant handle a different view, they feel attacked, right away.
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Mental strength is indeed, very personal, i know it, when i feel it. I recognise it, when i feel, see it, and that is just the beginning, because feeling it, does not equal that he and i are compatible. Then the whole get to know each other starts. on ALL levels. A stable man with a sense of humor. I met some dominant men in my life, they all gave me the feeling, that is was allright, to be mé, with them. There were NO GAME PLAYING. There was an openess and a willingness to invest, to grow and be more intimate, on a mental level. first. There was never any treat, fear, for an attack. There was acceptance of the whole of mé. ALL were interesting in mé, áll of me! All were also very, very open to talk about their own search. Their development into what they are now.... That were great man, real man, with an emotional life, inside them. Reliable, trustworthy, stable and a lot of fun to be around with. Could handle their emotions, and could also handle emotions of others. emotionally sane, in balans, not afraid of their feelings. Were not at all intimidated by me. I really liked that! Men like that are scarce.... Most on here, just want to f*ck a pussy, any pussy! thats it! And call that dominant. Also, most Dominants searching for a submissive, rather have a strong woman, with knowlegde about her selfworth, her inner strength. Before i can let my guard down, i must know, for sure, that that other person understands me, likes me, woud not back done, when things might get difficult... I also need to really know ALL about him, all of him, past, present and future. A mentally strong person. Who would not back done, with excellent communication skills. A strong woman needs a strong man. Most men feel intimidated by strong women, that is why they are so rude to submissive women who speaks their minds. They mistaken submissive for being a doormat, docile. Also due to all the porn they watch.... A strong person is, mostly a person who found out, that he/she is falible, can and will make mistakes, wich might hurt another person, maybe even the person they loved the most... A strong person is ,in my eyes, someone who is able to forgive himself and other too, for their falibility. Recognise that you are Being human can make you humble in a way.... And still be mentally a strong person. Fun to be around, honest, caring, open. Not afraid of the opinion of other people, stand his ground. Admit when they are wrong. willing to always learn, also from, Especially from his submissive/slave Just my view, you dont have to agree with me, i can handle that! I am used to that, too.... 
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1/7/2020 2:35 am |
Rosa - just to thank you for your serious thoughts on the subject.
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Tyrnavos, Thank you, i am thinking & reading about this my whole life. This is mé. I dont "play" the submissive "role", for some sexual release... It is not about sex. I ám submissive, but only to the man, i choose.
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JKMYN3, Yes, It also takes strength and wisdom to be able to dominate someone. completely, being in charge. be able to lead the relationship, with both happinezz in mind....
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