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Copy ~ Past, with permission of MasterTony2469, from FET For you up and coming Dominants (no pun intended) I am writing from My perspective of M/f. Your dynamics, preferences, genders, partners and more, may vary. Not intentionally disparaging anyone. It’s interesting to Me to hear the same complaints from the s-types about the lack of abc from the new Dominants. I also find it interesting to read about (because Dominant’s egos forbids discussions) the Dominants who just don’t get it. This isn’t rocket science. It’s not elementary math either and yes, you need to learn a great deal. But, start simple. We were all new once. I swear I was not born with a whip in My hands and I didn’t bite the nurses when I first arrived. What we do as Dominants is usually inside of us at some level. Sometimes more than in others but, it’s there as a starting point. I’m not discussing being able to throw a whip or floggers. I’m not discussing tying them until they hit subspace from sheer joy. Not even licking or fucking them because, lord knows you’re the best at that! I’m discussing them! The s-types! The ones we HAVE to have if we are going to be Dominants. Top all your life if that’s what you want to do. Fuck and flog, rope and canes, paddles and needles, etc etc.. I’m discussing them. You can dominate the bodies (topping) but you need to learn how to dominate their minds, their thoughts, their hearts, their souls, their hopes, their dreams, their insecurities, their strong wills and personalities, their wants and needs. There are no DVDs for that. There are books to help. There are discussion groups, workshops, conferences, and more. The best teacher is the one you hope to willingly kneel before you with desire, and you as her inspiration. Talk with her and listen. No, I said “listen”. I didn’t say defend yourself, react, respond, criticize, think of your response, think of your fantasy football lineup or, anything else. she will show you the live version of the DVD. she’ll open that book to the chapter on her. she’ll show you exactly what parts of the conference will best help you grow and learn. she will show you how to operate her. So... listen, observe, take mental notes, write them down if you need to, do something! For everyone’s sake... watch and listen! Ten other established Dominants can teach you what they know. However, they don’t know the girl in front of you. Hell, she might not even know herself... yet. Your responsibility is to figure her out. How do you meet her needs so that she wants to belong to you? Trust Me, she can get anyone to fuck her. she can get many people to top her in scenes if she desires that. But, if she wants to surrender herself at any level to you... you better figure out what that means “to her” and are you willing and capable of delivering what she needs? If you just want to play and fuck, don’t tell her otherwise. Step up and be responsible for her well being... even if you just met her. It’s really easy to damage her physically while playing. Unfortunately, it is way too easy to damage her mentally and emotionally with your words and actions, or lack thereof. So, own them. So, My advice (take it or leave it) to the young and old, those starting their journey... do it correctly. Talk with her and listen if you’re interested in her as a submissive. Learn what that REALLY means, to her. Find out what being a Dominant really means, to her! Do this with integrity and honor. Don’t be the one she complains about. Be the one she wants! on Aug 14, 2019 |
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It is ever so pleasant to meet a man, who understands all this. Someone, who understands this. Knows, this, lives this. This is what it is all about. Own your shit, or dont, but be frank an honest about it. Amen! 
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rosa This is terrific! Thank you for sharing  A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. George Bernard Shaw Jenny
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That was very interesting and you should write more about these
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Well said. Some expect Doms to be the text book version and subs to be doormats. There is very obviously a BIG middle ground but nobody want to be in that gap. Hopefully people will be more honest after reading this.
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Jenny, Thank you, I am glad He let me copy~past it to this site! There is more to come...
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joshua, I will pass it through to Master Tony, see what he thinks about it?! You could check out his profile on FETLIFE?!
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speedman, i will tell Master Tony about your reaction, thank you,
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Dezzer, you know, sometimes people, men and women, are so caught up in all the masquerade, they totally forget that is it FIRST about the person, about liking each other, on the human scale, not some invented imaginairy fantasie role thing... And others just want to get their rocks of, and thats it! Not a Top, and for sure never a Dominant, just sex players...
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This applies to those female dominants as well......
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drmgirl, Oh, Absolutely! I have been hearing storys!! really very disturbing... about "Domina, or Domme" behaviour.... brrr. Thanks for mention this!
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