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cleaning out my bookshelves, I got a letter, from a friend living in France. He is a natural dominant, i know him since the 70 ish. Always felt very good and centred when i was wiht him. And he with me... BUT, he did not know how to behave with this big urge inside him. In the 70 ish, i tried to talk about all these feelings and wants/ urges.... That did not really find a ground in him... ignoring, not knowing what to do, with those feelings, having girlfriends, who really were bitches from hell, wanting to controle him and their whole relation... time and time again, with every other woman, he did meet.... I? I was very innocent, stupid maybe....? Because, i thought, hé is the one.... I never thought about him having to have dark hair or black eyes, or a dick pick.. Or, god knows what guys think is important for them, in a woman. Any way, he always went for the blond girls, knowing they are called beautiful and knowing it too! I hate those bitches! WHAHAHAHA The three women he did have a relation with, all fucked him over real bad... I always tried to let him see, what was happening... What he did, or not do, or could not..... What she did, how she manipulated him into doing her demand. He was always sooo bussy with how these women looked. and i was there, always helping him, in his shop, i was still following a study... We never arguid, i always followed his lead, as that came natural to me. That was always very harmonieus with us.... BUT, he never, ever did see me, as his - to be partner- I was very open and fulnerable to him.... always explaining... dominance and submission, without using those words.... ( i did not know these words, then) BUT, i knew the feelings. There was some real big disagreement between the two of us... once, and we lost contact...... So, we lost contact for some years, due to him totally not seeing what was right in front of him... I did a search, i knew he was living in France, and i knew some friends, from friends. Finally, we get in contact again.... Now, in this relation, his partner wants him to get into therapy, as if Dominance is something you can get rid of, by gettng into therapy. He is in a mess. emotional, he does not know, what he is doing wrong... is being accused of being suppressive to his partner... He IS NOT DOING ANYTHING WRONG, They are just not compatible! She, is not submissive. BUT< she is just a vanilla, wanting to controle the relation, ( as so many vanilla women, secretly want to controle the man, the relation) That is also, what "we wimmins"is shown to us, in movies, in books, even in other relations.. "how to controle a man, once he is in your spidernest" -bleagh!  amp;I feel for him. He has no idea how to handle this... and is at a loss.... i wrote him a letter, explaining about some women being more subservitude... obedient, more orientated on the wants and needs of their partner. He is not the problem, and also she is not the problem, but they are, to each other, the problem They dont match This is going on, for some years now. I feel for him. I really still adore him. I want him to be happy, even if that means, with an other woman. But, also this woman wants to manipulate him, wich is very bad to do to a dominant man. Hé knows, that that is not a natural way for him. He feels trapped. It is against his nature. Maybe i will visit him, this year, in France.... If he let me....  I could write him a thousend letters, telling him, explaining, making him accept his nature. explaining him, about my feelings, for him, my struggle with acceptng my feelings and wants /needs, too... Just to let him know, he is normal, he is not sick he does not "need" therapy. It wont work, he will only start hating himself, and his partner, too, for getting him through this, while it is totally not necessary. They should quit thier relation. SHe is not happy, with him, she tries to make his life a living hell he is not happy, with her... and dont know, how to chance his behaviour, because THIS comes natural to him....THIS IS him. Dominant in every vein of his body... Just being with him, makes me feel at home, at peace, i found my place, centre, kind of thing... And when he is with me, ( he sometimes visits me) he is at ease too... he feels he is appreciated for who he is, and that scare the living daylights out of him, at the same time. And, i can even understand thát, too.... Painful........ Soo very painfull to have to witness this... What would you do? In such a situation? tenderlovingcare is much appreciated....😊😚😘 |
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i would like to call him, but i dont know if he will appreciate it..... Being in the situation he is in.... I have to muster my courage.... to call him... "being all fingers and thumbs"...... smiles shyly.......
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No advice, just saying that you are a very good friend.
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Thanks for sharing rosa! No advice given... ~ Physical strength is measured by what we carry. Inner strength is measured by what we can bear. ~
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I found his phone number, again, while i was cleaning out a bookshelf.....
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rosa I hope it helped sharing this.... A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. George Bernard Shaw Jenny
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Rosa I clicked on your topic expecting to see you discarding boxes of books with titles like... War And Peace... The Gulag Archepalago... Little Women... etc... 
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brandy, OOh! Really? Mé??? Wahahhaha! Nah, i am more of the thrillers, psychogological drama, history books, SM books. Throwing books out, is like cursing in a church! You will burn in hell!, for that!  
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drmgirl, Oh, thank you! X
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pac, we are from such a different back ground, he very well educated and a very good upbringing, and me, out the slum, nearly no education what so ever... a surviver. But somehow, we always seem to connect, again with each other... The bond is somehow strong...
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jenny, Yes, it did, although i am a bit afraid of what will come, of it.... from it....
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