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I cant, i wont say..... That those who DO the role play act, that those dont feel intens emotions, while DOING their scenes, role play. I have seen enough people "PLAY" and did see real genuine tears, and real genuine care from the d to the s type. Real, genuine emotions, for as long as the scene/ play took place.... It was only as long as the scene, role play took place. After that, they fell back into their socalled "normal" role that they have in life... Being vanilla. Only in the play/ sexual act, they are dominant and submissive. There is only partly power exchange, strictly put in action, during their role play. And most of them, that i witnessed, were happy in their relation/ contact. For me, it is impossible to "act" submissive, only during the roleplay. For me, that is all about sexual actions, nothing more. I dont have respect for such a "dominant", he makes me laugh, because i knów, i can push him out of his "roleplay act" any time i want to. I dont do parttime surrender. It is also totally NOT ABOUT SEXUAL ACTIONS. it is formost a mental connection. It is about fulltime servitude, it is about making him happy, making me happy. It is about surrender to his rules, as we both agreed to. It is about feeling loved & understood by him, when he is the one who makes the decisions. I can and do make decisions, in my day to day life, it gives me a lot of anxiety, stress. To be able to let that go, in totall trust that he wont use it against me, to give the power to do so, to someone, who understands this anxiety and stress. A master wants and needs that kind of responsiblity, to take care of his property, slave. He feels great, when he can take care of his slave in that way. it is his way of protecting his slave, make her safe. Masters have most of the time a vision, for the future, for his slave. He is not fooling around, just for his own gratification. It is a totall other dynamic, way of looking at SM in a D/s - M/s dynamic Then just want to have some sexual fun, within the hard limits of both, fullfilling each others fetishes, fantasies. as i said before; Gó for it, enjoy yourself, have fun. The one is not better then the other, it is just two totally different ways to experience POWER DYNAMIC. To experience your sexual fantasies. There is role play/ dominance/ submission, sexual focussed. There is "being in the lifestyle", wich is also much more about role play. Altough that maybe more incorperated into daily living... assingments. There is -living it- wich means, you have a relationship, in wich the D type is the one who is always and everywere in charge and the s type always follows his wishes/rules. Live by his rules, also when he is not around, or they are not together.. Obeying. surrender. As they say, on FET, you are also married, 24/7, no matter where you are, what you do. That is how being in a 24/7 dynamic works it is not 24/7 chained to the Central Heating, to be beat, abused, used, and all that. There are shoppings to do, bills to pay, gardens to take care, family members to care for, house to clean, washing, etc and under all that, is living by his rules, because you agreed to that. I can see that folks who DO the kinky thing, the role play sm, are most of the time happy and content. It is like a little sexual adittion to their overall vanilla, equal, egalitarian relation. That are TWO/ THREE different ways of experiences of SM. in what ever style you want to put it. it are THREE Totall different ways to experience something SM like.... Some power dynamic// exchange.... To mé, the play act, wont ever fulfill my needs and wants It only makes me feel very, very, very sad.. empty and lonely, totally lost.... Mine go much much deeper... To be happy in my core, i want to surrender. To his will, his rules, him not sexual submission, as long as the scene takes. You see what i mean? You see the differences between the three? |
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6/21/2022 4:46 am |
I see exactly what you mean. This is a very good post. 
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And, to be honest, most just want the bedroom fun, and they have the right to want that, too. Nothing wrong, there. BUT, knów the differences, before you take on some titlle you wont be able to hold. Walk the walk, talk the talk. Most play doms cant walk the walk, only can talk the talk.... There are certain rules of conduct, concerning SM and such a Dynamic It is not an "equal "vanilla/ "normal"  amp; relation, at all.
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6/21/2022 5:02 am |
Not everyone has the same personality and acts the same way. Nor does everyone have the same role in life for the same reason. Some people such as my self for example let their sex drive go at an early age because they were not into what other people wanted them to be into and/or insisted that they were into. For this reason they let their sex drive go and possibly other areas of their life too, but they owe it to themselves to feel… something and put their life back together and therefore they go through a constant power struggle. Some people have to find their place in this world for reasons such as I just mentioned. You are entitled to feel the way you feel, but other people are entitled to feel the way they are feeling as well.
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rosa you express very well what so many of us feel. it can be difficult to put it in to words as beautifully as you have. thank you.
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Right on rosa! While I went to a dungeon to watch play. Like you I am not into casual power exchange. And won't casually play. But also like you I have learned to survive on my own. Even under the stress and anxiety of doing it. Because even a 24/7 relationship has elements of vanilla in it. Thanks for the blog...  ~ Physical strength is measured by what we carry. Inner strength is measured by what we can bear. ~
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As long as people understand the difference between play and 24/7 it's okay but there are those that just can't get it into their head.
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I've done the bedroom B&D when I was very young and the 24/7 lifestyle when I got older. Much prefer 24/7. No holding back who I am to accommodate a partner's inhibitions about living outside the bedroom as is done inside the bedroom. Gotta be true to yourself.
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Interesting post, Rosa. There are a lot of poseurs about. I, myself, have never met a dom or a domme, who had to continuously tell everyone they encountered that they were a dom or a domme. Or a sub/slave, for that matter. Usually , you can tell, without the 'uniform'. I think unless it was a pride parade, the wannabe walking around in black leathers with the cat o' nine tails hanging on one of ten steel rings on a 8 inch wide belt would get laughed out of the rodeo. Or the one popping up everywhere you said hello to someone, giving his or her unasked for, unwanted approval. I have been with my Mistress since i was 17 and i have never seen or heard her do that, or introduce herself as the ultimate female to anyone. I wish you good luck, in your quest.
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rosa This is another great post , and YES, for many of us , this is a 24 / 7 Life_Style , not just a quick scene!  A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. George Bernard Shaw Jenny
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jenny, Thank you, 
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BrookeStorme, I am aware, that every individu has her or his own motivation, to be active on sites like this. I just like to make clear that 'playing" the bedroom (sex) games is, for mé, just that, a game. I cant take that serious, at all. All those different ways can all be here. Also, i am aware that some do struggle with things from their past, to find their way in all this. Like i did too, in the beginning of my yournee..... Thank you for your reaction,
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chasticyslutcd, Aah, that is very nice of you, to say,thank you. I still, always feel that i am still struggling to put things, that are important about a D/s relation to words. It is also, because i need the input from the dominant point of view, to make it all whole.... ying and yang kind of thing.... To balance things out.....
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pac, Yes, we are survivers! I dare to differ with you, on the vanilla part, to me, that is just daily living, and still his rules apply...... Every one needs to do shopping, cleaning and all the other mondain stuff.. In a D/s of my choicing, it is all under his rules....24/7.... You rock!
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drmgirl, Yeah, you hit the nail on the head! on this! Most just dont have any idea, what they are talking about.. Or just plain dont care, because to them it is all about sex... alas
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rondiri. Exactly That is why "just playing the bedroom games", feels for me, like i am doing some kind of performance, for his hornyness, and his hornyness only! It has nothing to do, with mé, the inner mé, the hidden submissive, slave, waiting to come out....mé. Did not meet óne man, who truely understood this, recognised it, as being in his core, too!
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mars, Yeah, it is something deep inside. No black clothes and whips hanging for his belt, will make him a dominant as is dressing as some caricarture, making someone a submissive..... How can i show my vulnerabilitys, when all i get are attacks from the no-nos....? After their initial 'positive' reaction...?. I dont show every dick, tom or harry my vulnerabiltiy beceause they are never able to understand the depth of it...
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rider, You do? Thank you.
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