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Sour, in a different way, I had this guy writing to me, with me We exchanged some messages. He was into f8cking everything with a hole, so to say....... as i could read in that little bit of his profile text.... All was very decent, nothing nasty going on, and then, all of the sudden, he decided to call me sweetheart or something like that... I truelly and totally dislike it, when men, do that I have a profile name!! How difficult is thát!? So, i told him, you step over a bounderie here, i dont like that. In bdsm there is some sort of protocol, act of conduct... WOw, that did not went down very well. How nasty and yet very civilised did he try to kick me in the butt! SOUR!! soo nasty sour. Telling me, that nowadays, there was no longer such a thing. That everyone and everything was banging everyone!! That i, with my purist about bdsm, could get myself somewere else...  RIGHT! Just an other one...... Never mind. true colours? |
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The story in a nutshell, Aah, well, what can anyone say about that?
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Well, now you can move on to the next 
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Well, I was not there to see the details, but boundaries should be set in the beginning or as early as the relationship/friendship is established, if not done already in an accessible profile. From there, it evolves. If those boundaries were not explained or established before he overstepped without the other individual knowing, which sometimes happens, then it should have been clarified. Once clarified, if the behavior persists then, yes, there is a situation in which you have to stop and take action. I always keep some basic limits about myself in my profile for good measure, but sadly, not everyone can see it so at that point, I depending on their behavior, I give the benefit of the doubt. Also, depending on the type of interaction with the person, I may either provide some additional limits on how to address me or my full set of boundaries. But once I have made sure that my boundaries are well established, if the person continues, I do not really let the discuss linger too much forward. If it gets to the point that the person is not understanding, I just stop it by either removing myself or remove the person if necessary. But hey, this is just me. Like in everything, there may be other opinions and perspectives of doing things, but hope this helps.
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You never really know with whom you are really interjecting, caution is key.
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Rosa, I think he was in the wrong not to respect your boundaries.
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Rosa, if being politely told some boundaries are being crossed, then I would think the only response should be thank you for letting me know I will respect them from now on... that shouldn't be that difficult, and this in particular wasn't that hard to adjust to. But if there is no genuine interest, then we have what you experienced...
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drmgirl, Whahahahah, rather not! 
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manni_pr, I totally agree with you. He and i never got to that part, we were just talking about the different kind of jewelery with a bdsm item. Nothing else. And then, he decided to call me sweetheart, or some sort of name like that. Thát is nót my profile name, how difficult can it be? Before, he just addressed me by my profile name... I was just being polite and told him, that is a bounderie. In bdsm there is a act of conduct, at least for me, there is also a sort of protocol, i really appreciate, when that person holds himself to that. We never discussed anything about play, limits, or such a thing. I am NOT interested in a person, who wants to start a conversation with talking about sm sex acts, thankyouverymuch.  Who is totally NOT interested in Who i am.
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Boston, That is absolutely true! ALways when i make it clear, that i have bounderies, those geezers start to act up, becoming rude, hatefull, totally disrespecful... Just a sign that they are not really adults, and or dominants. Players? Maybe? Swingers? Maybe, Or just rude horny boys! LOL
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boh, I agree, ofcourse! LOL It was like stated in his profile text, he wanted to f*ck everything with a hole... kind of person... Apparently, without any respect for bounderies?
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ExName, Yes, you would think so... But apparently NOT for him. And, i was very polite! Inmaging, what might happen to anyone, who tells him; No! use her/his stopword..., in a play situation... shudders, when he does not even respects this bounderie? We never ever discussed anything bdsm style like. I would never discuss anything bdsm (sex) style, in the first 40 something mails, or something like that....  I want to know, if he is interested in ME, or only in using some body parts of mine.  He and i only talked about some bdsm orientated jewelery. Aah, well, just an other one.
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