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The other day, This one person from the staff, W, was asking me why i looked so mad? I was totally surprised. Mad?? Me? I looked at him, and asked him, how you mean, mad? Well, you look so mad! I kept looking at him, and asked him; i dont have to smile all day, do i? No, no! So i told him, i dont look X mad X, i am totally concentrated on the job ahead> How is that, for looking mad? He got confused by my answer, and walked away....  I never have heard him ask that to one of the guys working there! Never, and they can look real "mad"/ totally focussed on the job a head. Especially when the bike does not want to do, what they want it to do! Or the mechanics are old and rusty..and you have to use a lot of force. to make it work, again. This is one sign of unaware sexism, at the work place. Internalized sexism, this is something, that is soo deep ingrained in people, men and women alike... This guy, W, is not even aware of his sexism, toward me and my facial expressions. Internal sexism. Even women, show it, in their way of talking about other women. it is all around us. So, to fit in his picture, of how "a woman" should look, i have to think about smiling all day? So i will fit his internal image of women? Hell no! Get real! I had on other technical problem with an other bike, i could not make this thing work. I knew, it was not my lack of knowledge, i used all the right tools. It is, on its own, just a simple task, to finish. Not difficult at all. but something in the structure of the bike, was just off.. An other bike repair man, told me, it is in the structure of the frame of the bike, and you have to adjust it... Yeah, duh! i already discovered that! He did not tell me, how? He told me, the Stockroom man, know how. Yeah, that is a great help, when the Stockroom man is not there! LOL I cant stand it, when that happens So i was looking "mad" again!  I wanted to solve this problem!! I was thinking real hard, to find a solution! Now i know, i need to use some kind of plug to fill this space, so things will fit, as it suppost to... The Stockroom is a mess, only the Stockroom man, knows where everything is... That, too, can drive me mad! Hahahaha For as long as i am in the Stockroom..... I will find my own solution, for this problem. |
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So, now i have to learn, to smile, while i am also trying to totally focus on the problem ahead? Wahahaha, aint gonna happen! That is just unnatural... No way. Hé has to adjust his ideas about women, and how they suppost to look, all day long! I like to totall focus on a bike problem, to be in the moment and work hard, to solve that problem. Thinking ahead, to do this or that, to solve it... how can i....? fix this? Smiling? is something i do, when i am happy or when with friends.... I am not there, to smile, all day long, to fit someone image of women..., in general. He is still very young.. never mind.... 
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Touché!
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you just had your "game face on" - and the bike issue was the game to be won !
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Yern, Thank you, sir.
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boh, I understand what you are doing. That is like calling the R word/ act, cuddling.... This is about internalized sexism. Has nothing to do with "putting on my game face", This is about certain unspoken "expectations" about how women should be or act, and that they are called out, on their (facial) behaviour, when they dont follow that sexistic mindset of any men, around. I am not on this planet, as a human being of the female kind, to smile, CONSTANTLY, so any men, around me, feels comfortable around me! BLEAGH. steps off soapbox! 💪😊😚 Have a nice day! 😇
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I had to chuckle at your story because you sound exactly like me when I was working.
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drmgirl, Hahaha, high five! I was not even aware of my facial expression, untill this W. mentioned it...
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