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rosaenaluin 65F
10068 posts
3/4/2024 6:22 am
after care?


A while ago, this was really a hot thing, on FET...

Somehow, someone believed that ALL submissives needed a blanket, as a sign of after care
I dont know, from wich porn movie they got this "knowledge"....?!

All of the sudden, all the men, i talked to, about bdsm and the how, what and where,
all always somehow, some time started talking about the blanket as a sigh of good aftercare.

I found that such a strange thing to do.
One size fits all? aftercare??

I dont want a blanket, i want HIS attention, his care... him talking to me,
talking with each other.... gently.... caring, touching me ,softly....

A blanket is not an substitude for being involved with your submissive.

I believe that "aftercare"(negotiation) is also something that is used more in play only contacts.

Because, if you knów your submissive, if you both talked about this all
you knów her/ him.
You ask her/him...
You talk alot with each other, always...

If a scene has been rather rough and deep, the "aftercare" might be different, then when a scene was just a bit average.

When you know, what is going on, in her mind, you also know how she feels that day.
And, you talk, always,

The first law, for a submissiveslave, is not keeping things from her d or Master.
ever!
allways full exposure.

rosaenaluin 65F
11006 posts
3/4/2024 6:25 am

I prefere the word; care for your submissive, period!
always and everywhere.

Not just after you two did something spectaculair..... intense, deep or just average stress release actions....?


NoNonsenseFromU 74M  
170 posts
3/4/2024 6:50 am

Right on. Aftercare is a function of the relationship between Dom and Sub and the nature of the interaction they have just had. There is no one size fits all - and there shouldn't be,


drmgirl622 68F  
26110 posts
3/4/2024 6:53 am

The aftercare is what works for both parties!


RichardsHD88 60M
2 posts
3/4/2024 9:24 am

Sounds like you want a boyfriend.


ExNameForUse 53F
5764 posts
3/4/2024 10:05 am

Although it is all very personal, to me it is not only about the after but also about the time before and the time in between... and it goes in both directions.


rosaenaluin 65F
11006 posts
3/4/2024 10:35 am

Exname,
Right! i totally agree... it is all over the place, or, should be, for me, too


rosaenaluin 65F
11006 posts
3/4/2024 10:36 am

drmgirl,
You are right!


rosaenaluin 65F
11006 posts
3/4/2024 10:38 am

NoNonsense,
We agree!
AND, maybe, sometimes, the D needs a aftercare too?!
As he is only human too....


rosaenaluin 65F
11006 posts
3/4/2024 10:39 am

Richards,
Really?


likesmatures 55M
4840 posts
3/5/2024 4:27 am

My dear...

You have to realise men are not women...we aren't afforded the ability to comfort touch someone..( like women..so touch is very foreign to a lot of men)

And our verbal skills are lacking when we are dealing with women..esp one in " distress "..

So to men wrapping a blanket around you..just holding you is a strong sign they do care..

I'm a chatty Cathy myself....but if you went through a good session,I don't know if it want to talk.
I'd try to soothe you.


rosaenaluin 65F
11006 posts
3/5/2024 5:50 am

likesmatures,
You are refer to vanilla men, i assume?

Because dominant men, do have this ability to care and talk, and show it too, that makes them so different to vanilla men, in general.

This was more about the"one size fits all" approach from some bedroom dominants.

thanks,



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