looking for (whatever) in all the wrong places
|
Posted:Aug 17, 2022 4:29 pm
Last Updated:Aug 18, 2022 10:38 am 2811 Views
|
If I told you that a person was searching for shrimp in a pond or stream, would you think them a bit daft? I mean, shrimp are saltwater creatures found in the ocean, so the likelihood of seeing one in a freshwater location is almost nil. That person wasting their time looking for something in a place where it is normally not found, and not likely to be found, is not going about things with much intelligence, right?
Okay, what if I told you a heterosexual woman were on a gay hookup site, looking for a compatible mate? I realize people are vastly different, and much more complicated than shrimp, but doesn’t it seem like the woman would have better luck elsewhere? She could go to the grocery store, a bar, or even for a walk in her neighborhood and probably have a better chance of running into someone more compatible. It’s true she could have a “thing” for gay men, but let’s assume she does not. This lady wants a man who wants a woman, and not one with a penis dangling between her legs. Should she remain on the gay hookup site, stubbornly looking for a unicorn, or maybe go to a place like Match or somewhere like that?
My little social experiment on the gay hookup site Sniffies has been quite fascinating so far. I watch as the vast majority of men act like being on PREP is the equivalent of taking an invincibility pill, and continue to have as much risky, unprotected sex as possible. I laugh as lazy guys continue to send me pictures with no words, or attempt to communicate monosyllabically, hoping to get my attention. I shake my head as I begin to recognize and understand just how much drug taking and selling is going on through the site as well. Since I am not actively participating none of this directly affects me, but it certainly entertains and fascinates.
What I’ve also found very interesting are the people who are openly aware of the fact that they are on a gay hookup site seeking someone, or something, not typical of the site. They remain on Sniffies searching for something they know full well is a rarity, instead of apparently looking elsewhere. It’s like roaming the forests of the Pacific Northwest gazing into the trees and hoping to spot a parrot. Though technically not impossible, it is highly unlikely to see 1 / one, just like it is highly unlikely to find a gay man who wants to have sex with a person who has a vagina. The vast majority of gay men are not attracted to a female form, even if it has a huge cock between the legs. Gay men usually want to hook up with other gay men. They could be fat or skinny, masculine or feminine, tall or short but they definitely don’t look and dress like females. I am not saying this of ALL gay men, obviously, just speaking of the majority. Debate me all you want; it’s common sense. Which means if you are on a gay hookup site dressed like a woman, looking for people to be interested in you, you aren’t using very good judgement. You’re wasting your time. And if you’re on a gay hookup and own a vagina, I think maybe you’ve gotten lost and confused and don’t know how to escape.
Again, I stress that I am not speaking of ALL gay men, or pretending I know ALL there is to know about them. It doesn’t take much common sense, and a bit of extended observation and interaction, to come to conclusions like mine. Yes, there are a few FTM, and a few more MTF on Sniffies, but they are definitely the minority. The VAST minority. There are certainly other hookup sites that might cater to them a bit more, but many remain, stubbornly seeking the same thing week after week. I’ve even taken the time to recommend a few alternatives for people who seemed to be genuinely struggling, only to be met with resistance or apathy. You’re not finding what you want, and haven’t for months, but you’re not interested in trying something different, looking elsewhere, etc? Okay then, good luck to you.
This post isn’t here because of a single instance, nor would I want to single a person out, but there are a few examples I could specifically talk about. To each their own, and I try not to judge too harshly, but just being dumb about things like this is difficult to ignore. So I write about it, you read about it, life goes on, the planet continues to rotate, and people on Sniffies to continue to look for something that will probably never be there. That’s how it goes.
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
caught with pants down
|
Posted:Aug 16, 2022 5:16 am
Last Updated:May 13, 2024 10:5 am 3162 Views
|
A friend I haven’t spoken with in nearly 10 / ten years suddenly popped up on my radar. He was in contact with someone who knows me, made an inquiry, and next thing you know we were exchanging messages. This is a person I didn’t know very intimately, but did have a bit of a sexual relationship with. We were kind of friends with sort of benefits.
This friend was in town for the weekend, so I decided to invite him over to hang out for a while. We both smoke marijuana, and listen to the same music, so there was enough common ground that I figured I could spend a couple hours with him. As most of you know, I am extremely antisocial and introverted, so a simple visit with a friend can be challenging. I’m trying so hard to break out of that, but it’s not easy.
I was surprised at how quickly the conversation turned to sex, but I think I might have inadvertently been the instigator. He was asking about my hip and pelvis injury and somewhere along the line I brought up how my penis felt, if it was functioning, etc. It might have been as a joke, or I might have been serious, but I’m pretty sure it was me who brought up the topic. Once I did, it wasn’t long before my old suck buddy was asking if he could try to give me a blow job.
I admit I hesitated before saying yes, for more than one reason. Yes, I was worried about how it would feel but I also felt an odd sense of committing a betrayal against ChrisSwallows. No, we have never been in anything like an exclusive relationship but I got so used to insisting his be the only mouth or throat that satisfied me that considering someone different was uncomfortable. Curiosity and basic horniness won though. I haven’t had a legitimate sexual encounter of any kind in so long I went for it.
One of the things I used to do with this guy was smoke a bowl while he smoked my pole. There was something next level and kind of decadent about sitting there casually smoking marijuana and sipping on my coffee while he worked on my cock. This guy is an expert at edging, and had my rhythms down perfect. He knew just the right speed and depth to go to keep me on the verge of orgasm for extended periods of time - all while I moaned and gave positive verbal feedback, but otherwise ignored him. It was a specific scenario and attitude we had both enjoyed in the past so I grabbed my pipe, some marijuana and a cup of coffee and led him into the backyard, to an isolated area I was certain would be private enough to get freaky in. We each took a hit off the pipe and then I got completely naked and sat back on a lawn chair while he placed himself between my legs and went to work. Periodically I would sip my coffee, and I had the bowl smoked in no time. Reloading it was an option, but I didn’t bother. Not only was I high enough, the oral sex I was getting had me lifted as well. He sucked and stroked, and eventually I did unload down his throat. I have to say he was gentle enough that overall it felt good. My pelvis is healing nicely and my cock is still strong, so I remain hopeful I will fully recover.
As I sat there basking in the moment he stood up, and we exchanged a few words before I began to reach for the pair of shorts I’d laid on the ground next to my chair. It was at that moment that I heard voices. Glancing up, I saw a strange man walking into the backyard, a look of alarm and confusion on his face. He was vaguely familiar, and knew my name, so it only took me a couple of seconds to figure out who he was, and why he might be there. Just as quickly as recognition, and then relief, passed his face it vanished, and I realized he was noticing the fact that I was naked from the waist down. I didn’t rush to cover myself, or jump up in shock or shame, simply laughed at the surprise interruption. A few more words were exchanged and then he left.
It didn’t seem to faze my friend much, and it didn’t embarrass or unsettle me, but it was a genuine surprise. I’ve had sex outside, in public places where there was a chance to get caught, but never have I been discovered naked in my own backyard. Of all the risky situations I’ve placed myself in, getting caught this way the best I could have hoped for. No police had to be called and I didn’t have to explain what I was doing, or justify it. I got caught with my pants down and there were no consequences - not even shame or embarrassment. It almost makes the tale not worth telling.
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
I am not a lobster
|
Posted:Aug 11, 2022 3:31 pm
Last Updated:May 13, 2024 10:5 am 2641 Views
|
I am at it again. Due to my severe and chronic misophonia symptoms and reactions I have begun doing my best to defy the God Circadia and sleep a schedule that is contrary to what nature intends. Through sheer willpower I am changing it so I pass out around 3pm and wake up after midnight. Give or take an hour. The initial reason for this had to do with my misophonia issues but it turns out there are other benefits right now, like being inside and unconscious during the hottest part of the day. Yes, it’s been hot, like you needed to be reminded of that.
For reasons I will speculate about, that time frame I’m trying to sleep is the noisiest in my neighborhood. I think it has to do with the trek home for average Joe and Jane. Everyone is rushing to get to dinner and a relaxing evening, but they often feel celebratory about it, and that converts into things like loud music, and gatherings outside with the raised voices of drunken people shouting at each other carrying through the darkness. I’d just as soon sleep through the glut of revving motors, booming bass and everything else associated with this time of day, so that’s what I’m trying to do. My body is resisting, but I’ve been making incremental progress. When I lay down I drift off a bit easier, and find it less exhausting to stay awake throughout the night, and wee hours of the morning. It used to be I’d go for long, late night walks when I lived like this in Woodburn, but with the hip and pelvis injury I’m just crutching my way to the end of the driveway and back in the darkness a few times. It’s a strange, odd, lonely existence but that’s not much different than when I sleep a normal schedule, is it?
This self-imposed graveyard shift of sorts does have drawbacks, but they are mainly physical, and I can overcome those. What I can’t handle are my nerves being destroyed every day because I have to deal with hours of thumping, buzzing, screeching, etc. My body clock might be off a bit but that doesn’t mean I don’t have any control over my life and surroundings. I might be fighting nature but the benefits outweigh the potential negatives, and the sometimes sheer oddness and inconvenience of my situation does satisfy my need for diversity I suppose. Being awake while others are sleeping is a novelty I’ve turned into a lifestyle many times throughout my life, for many reasons. Right now it’s just self preservation.
And by the way; if you were wondering about the title of this blog it has to do with the fact that another way of saying graveyard shift is “lobster shift”. The lobster shift was the 1 / one typically given to the new person (the lobster) so they could do the least amount of damage, and that was invariably what we’ve come to know as the graveyard shift. So when I say I’m not a lobster it means I’m not a beginner or the new guy. Too obscure? I thought so, that’s why I explained.
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
knowing limitations
|
Posted:Aug 10, 2022 12:44 am
Last Updated:May 13, 2024 10:5 am 2869 Views
|
As I heal, grow stronger, and become more active I can feel myself maybe stressing a bit too much about helping out around the house. I want so badly to be useful again; to earn my keep, so to speak. Before the accident I could be relied upon to do damn near everything that my sex slave ChrisSwallows is currently forced to do himself, because I am just plain physically incapable. I ask for projects that might better fit my condition, and he gives me a few, but I think he consistently underestimates my ability. He’s also super protective of me, which I can’t and won’t complain about. I want to be challenged because I think that is good physical therapy, and I usually know my limits. I work as hard as I can for as long as I am able, and then for a couple of days I pay for it in aches and pains. Lately, the aches and pains portion has been less severe, and lasted half the time it did before. There’s no denying I’m making progress.
I’ve always been very in touch with my body and its limitations. When the doctor told me he wasn’t really concerned about whether or not I could make it to physical therapy sessions, he said he fully trusted I knew how to be cautious and take care of myself. What he felt he needed to say to others, didn’t need to be said to me. It helped ease my mind a great deal, and made me feel like I didn’t need to rush to meet some requirements on a progress report or whatever. Yes, it’s nice to have a professional examine and give advice, but to be truly in tune with your own body is the most beneficial thing of all. And being honest about your limitations is just a smart thing to do.
So for the near future I will continue to mow the lawn, shovel gravel, lug debris to the trailer to later be taken to the dump and things of that nature. No heavy lifting yet, but at least I am not completely useless. That, my friends, is a good start.
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
a triumphant return
|
Posted:Aug 8, 2022 8:03 am
Last Updated:May 13, 2024 10:5 am 2732 Views
|
I am not a cross dresser in my daily / nightly life but there’s no denying I enjoy the way it looks and feels when I put on clothing that is made to be worn by females, while I am filming. My considerable erection is really all I need to point to for proof of that. Mostly I don’t cross dress in my daily life because I don’t wish to, plain and simple, but there are some other reasons worth mentioning. I really do like making the cross dressing movies, and want them to look good, which to me means an erect penis should be included in the package. I am not fond of a sexy transvestite with a small, limp dick so I try not to be that when I am recording. Seeing a beefy, hard cock poke out from beneath a skirt is undeniably arousing to me, and since arousal is key in my productions it stands to reason that I’m basically attempting to get myself off. It’s all about me on every level, so I dress the way that pleases me and pose the way that I find appealing to the eye. What I don’t want to do is lose that edge, that arousal, that hard cock in the frame so I abstain. I don’t cross dress so that when I finally turn on the camera and do, I’m not desensitized, or used to it in any way.
Does that mean I truly wouldn’t like to go around wearing a pair of panties or something like that? For the most part, yes. On occasion I’ve wanted to go out in public while wearing a dress or something undeniably feminine, but for the most part I want it to remain private and kind of a rare treat. As always, my genuine arousal is what I seek to show the fans of my porn, and to me there’s no better way of maintaining that than abstaining when the camera isn’t rolling. The results are fantastic, so going without is more than worth it, especially since I truly don’t ache to dress up. I just have fun when I do.
That’s a lot of words just to announce that I’m back to making transvestite porn finally, but there it is. After 4 / four months of being unwilling or unable, it feels good, and worthy of celebrating. And as it turns out I waited long enough so my body was able to get back to where it needed to be, so I don’t look ridiculous, and still feel like I have some sex appeal. I mean, I’d fuck me.
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
the nudist Father; an unexpected taboo conversation
|
Posted:Aug 6, 2022 2:00 am
Last Updated:May 13, 2024 10:5 am 3417 Views
|
As my social experiment continues on Sniffies I find myself drawn to some of the more unique profiles. Among all that you might expect from a gay hookup site I’ve come across trans folks, men looking for kink and fetish play, and even the occasional plea for romance. There are some extreme men who want to be treated very badly, or to be used as human toilets and such, but for the most part it’s surprisingly vanilla.
When I sent a message to a nudist Father I didn’t expect much except the usual; mostly banal conversation that would lead nowhere. What surprised me was how quickly the messages went from small talk to “the point”, which was that there were supposedly biological offspring involved. The man claimed to be a lifelong nudist who’d raised his flesh and blood the same way, and if you weren’t me you might have been forgiven if you thought the information he was sharing was innocuous. He wasn’t blatantly leading the conversation in a certain direction, but the mere mention of had me instantly suspicious. I did my best to continue a nonchalant conversation while watching him slowly work up the courage to broach “THE subject”.
You see, the nudist Father told me that they had a lot of men over to the house, and that everyone remained sans clothing the entire time. That by itself was pretty unbelievable, but as we progressed I think he couldn’t hold back anymore and just began to get bold about what he claimed their lifestyle looked like. Would it bother me if they (the teenagers) were naked while I was around? They were very curious about naked men, and they liked to interact, including cuddling. When it came to him stating his would sometimes get excited while sitting on a strange man’s lap and leave a wet spot, I had zero doubts the conversation was purely fiction and fantasy. Since I happen to dig the subject matter I went along with it, and even began to get graphic in my messages, just to kind of egg him on. I wanted to see how much he’d say, how bold and frankly unbelievable he’d get. I also kept asking to be invited over.
The conversation eventually ended on a rather normal note. The nudist Father swore he would contact me the next day with their address, so I could come over and fuck his balls deep in her ass, but I didn’t expect to ever hear from him again - and so far I haven’t. No surprises there. Had he gotten back to me I doubt it would have been with an address. I have to admit, the conversation I had with him was the most unique I’ve had so far, even if I knew it was a lie pretty much the entire time. I actually thanked him for exploring the topic with me, since it is so vile to so many people, but he kept swearing it wasn’t just fantasy talk, that it was really going to happen. Let me tell you, I have NOT been balls deep in the ass of his , but if I had I guess I probably wouldn’t tell you anyways, since the act would have been a crime. Normally I’d say leading someone on is a crime (an asshole move) but in this case I did not get offended, even when the guy kept insisting it was all very real. At least he didn’t give me a fake address or arrange to meet somewhere, only to have that turn out to be bullshit. It could have been worse.
The nudist Father deleted our conversation, and as far as I can tell he’s not been back on the site in the last few days. I’m not seeking him out, not going to confront him or ask for an explanation about why we didn’t meet, I’m just watching from the shadows. There are other perverts to learn about and explore, I won’t get obsessed with this one, especially since I know it’s all a lie.
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
making a comeback
|
Posted:Aug 3, 2022 9:31 am
Last Updated:May 13, 2024 10:5 am 2667 Views
|
It’s been a little over 4 / four months now since I fell from the top of a ladder onto a slab of concrete and did serious damage to my hip and pelvis. That time has been painful and frustrating, but I’m starting to see real progress with my rehabilitation, and beginning to believe the doctor is correct when he says I should be able to fully recover. I can almost walk unaided now, so the prognosis is very good, I think I just have to keep up the healthy lifestyle choices and persevere. For me, consistency is usually a very big component toward success.
During the past 4 / four months of what I’m calling “down time” I was not very active. We’re talking bedridden or close to it for at least half of it, and only recently have I been able to truly get myself moving. For the last couple of weeks I’ve been testing my abilities, endurance and limits, doing things like yard work and washing my car, with excellent results. Not only does my hip feel better, but my upper body is also getting the much-needed exertion it requires. I am getting stronger again, and looking better in the process.
I have never been the kind of person who could sit in a gym and lift weights, ride a stationary bicycle, or anything like that. Those activities bore me to tears, but if you can put the same activities and bodily stresses into some other form I will practically overindulge. My entire body looks the way it does based on nature, not on any concerted effort. If I spend a lot of time riding my bicycle then my legs and ass get very muscular and developed, and when I do a lot of lifting and yard work my upper body tends to get leaner, and my muscles more defined. When I fall off the top of a ladder and break my hip all those muscles atrophy, and the slow process of reactivating them has been difficult to say the least. I know I could have spent a lot of these past 4 / four months working on my upper body strength while my lower half wasn’t functioning very well, but apart from the arm muscles required to help me use my walker or crutches they weren’t getting what they needed either. There was a brief time when I thought I would sit in my recliner (feeling trapped) and do some upper body exercises but with all the pain and discomfort I was going through the last thing I wanted was to further stress my body, test my endurance, or anything like that. I just wanted to sleep and escape the pain, not challenge myself to do one more rep.
Eventually those missing abdominal muscles will show up again. I got rid of the recliner and have taken to sitting on my exercise ball while watching movies. Sometimes I do it purely for comfort but more and more I flex my muscles and try to lift my legs while remaining balanced. This sort of distracted, half-assed workout will benefit me greatly in the long run, especially since the alternative is to wait for them to naturally come back via walks, bicycle riding and more yard work. Regaining my slim, muscular physique will be more difficult than I imagined, but with effort it’s more than likely I’ll come out on the other end of this looking better. As long as I am healthy I won’t concern myself too much with the aesthetics of my situation, but I’ll have to stop making porn to aid in that. Until I quit pointing the camera at my body and trying to sell the results I am going to be critical of it, but I’m also going to be quick to see progress, which I am trying very hard to do
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
cloud
|
Posted:Aug 1, 2022 10:58 am
Last Updated:Aug 3, 2022 9:31 am 2453 Views
|
I glance at my phone and it has that little weather app thingy open and it says “cloud” as if predicting a single cumulus will roll through sometime today.
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
monkeybrained
|
Posted:Jul 31, 2022 4:08 pm
Last Updated:May 13, 2024 10:5 am 2864 Views
|
I will fully admit that I am usually pretty uninformed about things like virus outbreaks and such. What is happening in the rest of the world usually doesn’t warrant my attention because I am an island unto myself. I don’t go out much, don’t socialize, don’t have a sex life, etc. My exposure to people, and therefore infectious diseases, is limited to the few moments I cruise through the library or grocery store. And that’s seriously the only times I could potentially be in trouble. So while people are fighting mask mandates or freaking out about the new pox I am blissfully ignorant. Until I can’t be anymore.
I won’t pretend to have done any extensive research on this monkeypox outbreak. What little bit I have read though points to yet another disease that has decided to target the gay and bisexual community. It apparently transfers through simple skin-to-skin contact pretty easily, and there are lots of gay and bi men touching each other it seems. Specific warnings have gone out to try and stave off what is almost certainly going to be a widespread issue. I say this based on nothing more than what I continue to observe on the hookup site Sniffies. While a select few are trying to wake the rest up the vast majority still act as if there couldn’t possibly ever be any repercussions for continued reckless behavior. I think gay and bi men must believe being on PREP means you are invincible, because that sure is the way they act. Not only do they have to worry about HIV and all the typical sexually transmitted diseases like syphilis and herpes, there’s also Covid, and now monkeypox. You don’t even have to get naked to get the last 2 / two; simply holding hands or kissing could transfer an infection. What are these crazy fuckers thinking?
Yes, there are a couple of guys on Sniffies calling out the reckless behavior, but they are definitely not the norm, just like the fellows I saw touting the usage of condoms. Some people seemed mildly alarmed, so their response has been to try and go overboard this weekend and then try to subsist for a while. You know, until the monkeys take their pox and move on I guess. Yes, perhaps you can get all your fucking done in the next few days and then quit cold turkey for a while without catching anything. I wish you luck.
Once again I’ll make this statement; my presence on the hookup site Sniffies is not to get together with anyone, nor is it to merely observe. I am undertaking a social experiment, using the profiles and pictures for masturbation fodder, and keeping myself entertained at times but I am not meeting with anyone and risking the chance of infection or anything else. I am passing judgement and making assumptions from afar, and fully admit that, but it’s not like it’s being kept a secret. Men are boldly saying it; no condoms, as many guys as possible, the exchange of bodily fluids, etc. Right now I’d say that seems pretty darn monkey-brained to me, but I think that gives the monkeys a bad .
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
last temptation of Sniffies
|
Posted:Jul 29, 2022 10:33 pm
Last Updated:May 13, 2024 10:5 am 3062 Views
|
As written about previously, I have been surfing a gay hookup site called Sniffies for inspiration; i.e. masturbation fodder. During that time I noticed a preponderance of reckless behavior so I thought I’d try a little social experiment. With the vast majority asking for aggressive sex without condoms I decided to ask where the safer, softer side of Sniffies was? Once again this was not about actually hooking up with anyone, or even leading them on, I just wanted to see what kind of responses I would get. Would profiles that previously avoided me come out of the woodwork and try to catch my attention? Would people mock my search for the needles in the perverted haystack? Or would I get no new replies at all?
This has only been going on for 2 / two weeks at the most, but I have indeed found a few who claim they are kindred spirits. No, I haven’t had sex with any of them, nor did I lead them to think anything like that was going to happen, we just held brief conversations. I don’t disguise the fact that I really have no intention of getting together with anyone, nor do I announce it. The conversations I hold are honest, even if they don’t fully reveal my intentions. Let me give you a for instance: recently a message popped up from someone that turned out to be visiting my sex slave ChrisSwallows. He was literally sitting in our driveway trading messages with me in the middle of the night, asking if I wanted my cock sucked. My reply was that I did not host / have guests over, and when he asked me why I told him out of “safety and respect”. Kind of vague, but an undeniable rejection. He didn’t ask for details and I didn’t unnecessarily provide any, he just went on with his night, and I with mine. Nobody was misled or had their feelings hurt, and I daresay he wasn’t left feeling rejected, just unlucky that I couldn’t hook up with him.
There are daily temptations, and most of them do get the courtesy of a reply, even if it’s only to say I am not interested, or express gratitude for a compliment they given me. There are people I might want to meet, but it would be on a platonic basis. I am undeniably horny most of the time, and do crave stimulation from another human, but I’m not quite there yet. When I am, it’s my sex slave ChrisSwallows who’ll be taking care of me, not some nearby stranger who may or may not be crazy, riddled with disease, etc. Some of the temptations almost seem worth the risk, and I’d probably take advantage if there was a vagina somewhere in the mix, but there hasn’t been. I’m mostly straight, even if I’m using a gay hookup site to jerk off to sometimes. Ultimately I’m just a sexual guy, and someone offering me their ass or mouth is arousing no matter the gender. Sometimes it doesn’t even matter the age, size, shape, etc. I’m often more attracted to demeanor than anything else, so Sniffies does indeed offer some temptations that are tough to resist, even in my current physical condition. Some trans members have amazing bodies, with holes between ass cheeks that any woman would die for. And long sexy legs! So many temptations!
I am enjoying my time on this site, especially since I am not trying to hook up. The frustration of dealing with fakes and flakes has transformed into fascination with them. There’s no telling where this will lead, but the plan is not in a carnal direction. I merely hope to observe, and stay out of it as much as possible. Human being are fascinating, but gay male ones are a bit more so.
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
