Underneath the Bridge
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Posted:Feb 24, 2013 2:09 pm
Last Updated:May 26, 2024 5:23 pm 37174 Views
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I work in an industrial area of Portland, near the waterfront, and practically underneath one of the many bridges that spans the Willamette River, and connects the East side with the West side. It is a rough neighborhood, with a lot of less-than-desirable people hanging around, but I never feel the least bit worried about my safety when I am there. Most of the people I encounter in the area are homeless/transient, but hardly violent. All in all, it's not a horrible area.
A few blocks from my work (walking distance) is the only fast food restaurant in the area. I try to maybe visit it once a week, out of necessity, and can sometimes make it two or three weeks before I cave in and eat there. The route I take to get there goes underneath the on-ramp of the bridge, and takes me past a pole dancing studio. Many times I have hurried by men and women huddled up next to one of the massive pillars of the on-ramp, but never has anyone accosted me, or even paid me much notice. It's not an area like downtown, where you can't walk ten feet without someone asking you for spare change or a cigarette. The people keep to themselves, and are relatively quiet.
I've only seen three or four women walking into the pole dancing studio in all the time I've worked in this area. I figure the place doesn't hold as many classes during the day as it does at night, so it's not surprising. For the longest time a police car could be seen parked right outside the studio, and I often wondered if a female officer was inside learning to dance, so she could go undercover somewhere, someday. This was not a sleazy business, but it was in a rather seedy location, so the thought also occurred to me that they might be under investigation. After seeing it there for a few weeks I stopped wondering and just went by without a care.
Sometimes I will pass a vehicle parked under the bridge and notice that the front seats are both down, or see it is filled to bursting with a wide array of personal items. People will try to sleep in their cars, underneath the bridge, for as long as they can. During the summer they go as far as to set up tents and begin to build structures, but the police come by eventually and put a stop to it. The tents disappear and the car either parks somewhere else or gets towed. Of course, winter is a different story, and the same people are pretty much left alone unless they are causing problems. I know that sometimes guys get drunk and spend the night in their car, instead of trying to drive home, but for the most part when I see someone sleeping in their vehicle it is because it has become their home. Women actually seem to do this more than men, at least from what I've seen. Guys lose everything but their bicycle and women seem to manage to keep it together just enough to not lose their cars. Now that you know all of this…
During a lunch break last week I decided to go to the fast food restaurant mentioned above. Tossing on my coat, I chose to walk underneath the bridge to avoid getting wet. It's not only been cold around here lately, it's been raining as well. Anyways, I was moving at a good pace, making my way along the sidewalk that leads to the pole dancing studio, when the shape of a person sitting in a vehicle parked out front caught my eye. Without slowing down, I turned my head and did my best to get a peek inside the car as I strode by. In the few seconds it took to pass, I saw that a woman was sitting in the passenger seat. She had short, blond hair, was wearing a light blue athletic top, and appeared to have both of her hands in her lap. I couldn't see her hands, but could see that her arms were stiffly held together, straight down, as if she might be clasping her hands in her lap. That's all I caught a glimpse of, then I had to turn my head and make sure I wasn't walking into the bumper of a car, or a street sign or something.
I didn't get many details from that briefest of glances, but I got the impression something strange was happening inside the car, and that sensation stuck with me as I ate my meal. When I left the restaurant, I walked back the way I came on purpose, and was not surprised to find the woman was still sitting in the passenger seat of the car. This time, when I walked by, I slowed considerably, and blatantly peered in through the front windshield. I took in the ladies face, which seemed to be set with a look of deep concentration. Her eyes were open, and I was standing almost directly in front of her, but she did not appear to notice me. There was a brief moment where I had to make the decision to either continue walking or stop and really see what was going on, and I made it pretty quickly and easily. Coming to a complete stop, I looked around to make sure nobody was in the area, then stepped toward the car.
It was a compact - a Honda I think - so I really had to bend down to look in the passenger-side window. As I did, the first thing my eyes caught sight of were a pair of hands that appeared to be buried in the ladies jeans. I couldn't see skin, just the ends of her wrists disappearing into the top of her pants. The athletic top hugged her breasts very nicely, and I could see that her nipples were very hard underneath. By the time I leaned down far enough to see her face, I could discern the slightest bit of movement going on inside. It appeared as if the lady were rocking back and forth, ever so slightly, with her hands buried in her pants and her mouth held slightly agape. The expression on her face never changed though, and not once did she so much as glance my way. Not once. It was like she was in a trance. I know I mumbled something like a compliment to the window, but doubt it was heard. Certainly there was no reaction from the other side.
From where I stood, it certainly looked like the woman in the car was masturbating. I watched for a brief few moments and then stood up long enough to take another look around and see if anybody might be watching me/us. When I looked back, the lady was in the same position, doing the same thing, and did not appear to know that I was standing just a few inches from her. It was slightly surreal, and I had the urge to just reach out and knock on the window, but I resisted. Instead, my hand went to my crotch and began to rub. I thought if I could bring up a bulging cock and press it against the window she would be unable to ignore me. My eyes wandered all over her body, taking in the tits, lips, tight jeans. As I stood to pull my cock out I glanced around again, and that is when a lady came out of the pole dancing studio.
I think it's just pure luck that she did not head down the sidewalk towards me. Despite my years of experience being a bad boy, I'm sure I had that deer in the headlights look on my face that would have said more than all my excuses could have, but I watched in dumbfounded relief as she crossed the street and slid into a sports car without even glancing our way. One last peek into the Honda told me that nothing new was happening, and my heart was practically thudding out of my chest, so I turned and walked away as quickly as possible. Not once did I look back, but for the rest of the day I could not forget what I'd seen. Had she been masturbating, as I suspected? Was she perhaps blind? Is that why she didn't act like she saw me, because she in fact could not? Maybe my presence simply wasn't welcome, and she knew ignoring me was the quickest way to get me to leave? I also wonder if showing off in public without acknowledging the watcher was a possibility? It's certainly plausible she wasn't masturbating at all, but if not, I cannot imagine what was going on. Did she need to pee really bad and was trying to "hold" it? That still didn't explain why she acted like she didn't see me, but I guess it doesn't really matter. Unless I see her again, the answer will remain a mystery. You can bet I'll be walking that way when I go to the fast food place from now on.
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"The EsKape" on WTNRradio
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Posted:Feb 23, 2013 3:41 pm
Last Updated:Feb 23, 2013 3:42 pm 35409 Views
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Thanks to a sexy, wonderful Facebook friend, my 2-hour show on WTNRradio is doing very well today. Not quite in the top 5 "Hot List" right now, but headed there very shortly. If you scroll down a few posts you'll see a photo of a snake getting ready to swallow a big, orange fish. On that picture is the address for my program. It is an internet radio station with a diverse array of DJs, and costs absolutely nothing to listen. You honestly don't even have to sign in/up if you don't want to. The only reason I am is because I "work" there.
I'm not going to tell you what the show is like, or even hint at the kind of bands I play. Just go have a listen.
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Sexy Photo For You (2)
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Posted:Feb 20, 2013 6:48 pm
Last Updated:Feb 24, 2013 1:08 pm 36899 Views
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Pretend those are your legs, spread wide open for me, leaving you vulnerable and feeling very exposed. Imagine gazing into my eyes as I guide my cock into your tight, wet, waiting hole...
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my beautiful little admirer
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Posted:Feb 20, 2013 6:44 pm
Last Updated:Feb 24, 2013 1:09 pm 36701 Views
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Anyone reading my last few blog posts has probably noticed a beautiful cunt named sheena45 leaving provocative comments for me to respond to. She is clearly enamored, and has expressed multiple times how attractive she thinks I am, so it's safe to say I have found in her an "admirer". We've been trading private messages off site, and the conversation just seems to grow and grow. Not only have I learned a few wonderfully twisted secrets about her sexual desires, I am also getting to know the version of her everyday self that most people get to see and experience. She is very good at expressing herself, loves to tell me how wet my messages make her, and seems to be getting impatient with me because I can't always give her the sort of lengthy responses I would like to. Some busy days are busier than others, and if I don't write to her right away I find I have no energy for it by the end of the night. I doubt she'll lose interest because we can't message each other every day, but have to admit I'd be anxious if I didn't hear from her as often as I already do. She has become a small but important part of my life.
She also lives on the other side of the country, so a reality check tells me that she can't be too important yet. We toy with the idea of her finding a job and moving to Oregon, but both know it's not something that'll be happening any time soon, so instead we attempt to realistically plan a visit. She has already checked to see how much it would cost to fly here, and it was an amount I could cover with the money I get from clip sales during the month, so it is actually feasible. Having her for the weekend would be a glorious treat, and would give us the perfect opportunity to find out if we're only sexual compatible, or if maybe there's the possibility of more. Who knows… I never set out looking for love the last time I found it.
I haven't stopped loving my girlfriend or anything like that, so don't get me wrong. The heart and soul have an amazing capacity for love and hate, and I have chosen to experience as much of the love side as I can, before I die. My girlfriend is still my best friend, and it would take more than just a weekend of lusty fun with someone else to establish anything as solid as what I have with her at the moment, but there are also elements missing or lacking from our relationship that I am no longer certain I can accept. That our sex life is not what it once was does not surprise or even threaten me, but it does make me unhappy. I haven't yet explored all the devious acts I had hoped I would, with another beautiful and willing female, and can't help thinking the chances are slipping away. As I grow older I wonder how much more time and energy I am going to be willing to set aside in order to find these "good times". I've lived enough that I could die tomorrow without too many regrets, but that doesn't mean I'm done. There is still so much to do!
Finding someone you are sexually compatible with is a real treat. Finding someone you connect with on more levels than that is a gift, and I am not one to waste something so valuable. I will continue to talk with sheena45 and try to convince her to at least come visit me in a couple months. I have so many sick, wonderful things I can do to/with her, and if we spend the down time getting along famously, we'll go from there on what the next step is. The woman is always on my mind...
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Lesbian Lusting
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Posted:Feb 17, 2013 12:55 pm
Last Updated:Feb 22, 2013 10:38 am 32920 Views
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As I've mentioned before, my boss is a lesbian who is quite touchy feely with me at work, and it has been my stated intention to explore this and see just how much is desire on her part, and how much is her simply being friendly. Nothing really noteworthy has been happening lately because we've been in the middle of a Winter Madness Sale. At the beginning of the week I got one of her familiar lingering hugs that lasts a bit longer than probably should, but feels oh so good while it's happening. This time around, when I embraced her, I did not put my arms around her shoulders as I normally would. My left hand made it's way to the small of her back while the right came up and caught the back of her neck. We stood like that for a moment, and then her head felt like it tilted forward and to the side, as if she were snuggling into my neck. I gave one firm "hug" on the back of her neck with my hand and then stepped back. I didn't search her eyes for anything, nor did I linger one second longer.
Thursday I felt my boss reach out and touch my hip, then linger long enough that her hand was brushing my ass. It was subtle, but definitely deliberate, and I have to admit I walked around a bit aroused for a while. Later in the afternoon, as we passed each other again, it was my hand that reached out and found a hip, and lingered long enough to get a good grope of ass. Once again I did not look my boss in the eye or make mention of the physical contact, I simply did it and walked away. As the day continued, I half expected to get pulled aside for either an admonishment or a proposal, but when nothing happened I found one final opportunity to see just how far I could take it.
My boss was sitting in the office of my immediate supervisor, chatting with her, when I entered the room. Her back was to me, and she was sitting on a stool, so I stepped up behind her and draped both arms over her shoulders. My hands were clasped together and came to rest right between her breasts. She first leaned back into me, then reached up and grasped my forearms, kind of pinning me where I was. The urge to simply reach out and stroke the top of a breast was overwhelming, but I resisted. We stayed like that for a few moments and then someone walked through the front door, and I had to disengage to go greet them. I made sure to at least give my boss a soft squeeze underneath the chin, that I hoped would communicate my desires to her, but left it at that.
As we parted that evening she told me that she missed me already, and my only response to her was that I was glad to hear it. Personally, I don't miss work or the people in it all that much, but I do want a chance to see my boss naked and get my hands on her flesh. She's no sexy beast but she has a lovely set of tits she's always talking about, and I'm guessing that pussy must be tight from lack of penetration. The sex life she has with her partner is not that great from what she's told me. If I could get my hands on her, and my cock in her, it would probably blow her mind.
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why ask why?
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Posted:Feb 11, 2013 9:08 pm
Last Updated:Feb 28, 2013 7:41 pm 33258 Views
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I don't know if I was molested or abused as a . I know that my memory is literally a big, black zero until around age 5 or 6, but I'm told that is not incredibly rare or indicative of trauma or abuse. I found out, during an adult conversation with my mother, that she was by her father, many times when she was a young lady, but she never admitted to doing anything to me as a result of that. Growing up, I had many step fathers, so it's very possible one of them did something that might have been considered "bad" to me. I don't feel disturbed, or sexually perverse, but I have often wondered why so little bothers me. Why does it not matter whether a man or woman sucks me off? Why do I get pleasure, ultimately, from being in control, and why do those "good" feelings translate into something like with such ease and intensity? Normal men do not feel about the sex the same way I do, so I wonder what could have maybe happened growing up, to help cause this?
My first experiences with boys were more out of curiosity and desperation than desire, but I think I've explained that in another post. My first wet dream was very disturbing, and I also think I described that in a different post. My very first sexual encounters with girls were not exactly normal - they involved spanking and piss play, among other things - and I didn't officially lose my virginity until I was 18 years old. Even dipping my toe into kink and BDSM was more about curiosity and desperation than desire, but once I did I felt almost instantly at home. Don't get me wrong, I didn't feel like I'd come/found home, or anything romantic like that, but I felt I belonged and understood, much like I did with the myriad other endeavors I tried in the adult industry. I belong in a sex shop, selling and educating, but alas, the pay is not so good. And the distractions are many.
What made me so sexually open? How did I manage to accept, if not actually enjoy, so many things that others find repulsive, frightening, or morally reprehensible? When so many men are still frightened that they might be perceived as a fag, why do I still feel heterosexual even though I consistently get more sexual satisfaction from men than women? What is the disconnect that allows me to feel this way, where did it come from, how did it develop? Was it something from childhood, or did I literally evolve into these things? And if it is evolution, why are so many others unable to do and feel as I do?
The truth is, I don't give a damn about the answers to these questions. It is merely a curiosity to me, and nothing more. I have lived my whole life without questioning my desires, and it has been bliss. NO guilt. NO hesitation. I know what I want and I go after it. It does not matter if it's male or female, it only matters if it feels good to me. In this sense, I do not discriminate. When it comes to relationships, I choose women, but when it comes to sex, kink, domination, and the like I am happy to use and abuse everyone equally. Even growing up and being called a faggot did not change how I felt about my intimate experiences with the same sex/gender. Nor did it make me question who I was, or why I wanted the things I did. I accepted that my desires couldn't be "false" so it was up to me to either follow them or deny them. If I couldn't find a good reason to deny them, you can guess what happened.
So yes, I've sucked a few cocks. Very few. I wanted to see what it was like, and I wanted to see if I would enjoy it. Did I worry that it would make me gay? Or maybe more bi than I already was? Nope. I was worried I might be missing something, so I tried it, and found out very quickly it wasn't my thing. Anal sex (being on the receiving end) was the same way. I tried it without much hesitation or worry and based on my first experiences decided whether or not I wanted to do it again. I wasn't keeping points, figuring out how much more I could get away with before I was officially gay or something, I just followed my desires and had fun.
You should do that too, if you can. Try something guilt free soon, and do it as if nobody would ever know or care if they did. Try not to consider anything but your own selfish wants, needs and desires. Have fun. We all deserve it.
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Accidentally Pimping Yourself
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Posted:Feb 9, 2013 7:27 pm
Last Updated:May 26, 2024 5:23 pm 33141 Views
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Last night I was feeling pretty horny so I decided to jump on the computer and look for a good time. If you’ve ever used Craigslist you know what it’s like to wade through the bullshit to find the real ads/people. I am usually the kind of person who will read every word of an ad, if for no other reason than it helps my chances of getting lucky if I follow directions and know who it is I am talking to. One trick I learned is to look at the very last sentence of the post. If it is incomplete, chances are it was a cut/paste kind of thing, and is totally bogus. There are many other things to look for, but I don’t care to list the ones I know right now.
I responded to quite a few ads over a large amount of time, and wasn’t having much luck, when all of a sudden a man started emailing me. He wanted to invite me over, suck my cock, eat my ass, and all the wonderful stuff I like. That’s all I was really looking for, and by that time I was ready to settle for a guy instead of a girl, so I continued the conversation. We seemed on the same page, and were wrapping up the details when he asked me, “How much do you want for this?”
Now I don’t recall answering an ad that said anything about anyone paying for anything. His question came as a surprise, but before I answered it I tried really quick to go back to Craigslist and find his original ad. When I couldn’t, I took a chance and just told him that he could decide what to give me after we had a good time. “You can tip me” is pretty much what I said.
He gave me his address and I took off immediately. Fifteen minutes later he was letting me in the front door of his house and leading me to the bedroom. While he checked his phone to make sure nobody was coming home I took off all of my clothes and placed them in a chair. When the guy received a text message that we would have the place to ourselves for a while he put the phone down and made his way towards the bed. I was already sitting on the edge of it, stroking my cock and talking to a very vocal kitty cat that had snuck in the room. The guy shooed the feline away and got down on his knees at the edge of the bed so he could take me in his mouth. The room was cold but I was already getting very hard, and comfortable. He had a deep, talented throat, and I found myself fighting orgasm pretty quickly. When he pushed my legs up and tried to get his face in my balls I turned over, now resting on my hands and knees at the edge of the bed. He repositioned himself behind me and began to suck, lick and tongue my asshole, moaning the entire time like he was eating a cream pie or something. My cock remained rock hard and I loved the attention, relaxing into the position and pushing back to allow his tongue deeper access.
We were enjoying ourselves for about ten minutes when I heard the front door open. As I mentioned before, we’d made it to the bedroom, and the door was actually closed, but I was certain of what I was hearing. A very loud, male voice was talking, and for a brief moment I could not tell if it was speaking to someone else in the room, or a telephone. Without moving an inch I said, “It sounds like someone’s home” and then waited for a response. The guy still had his face buried in my ass and only made a noise, but it was clear he was aware that someone had come in through the front door. My mind began to entertain both good and bad thoughts – what if it was a partner that was there to help him me, or what if it was a couple and this was some sort of set up to get into a group sex scene? A few more random scenarios were considered, and then suddenly the guy had hold of my shoulder and was pulling at it. For a confused second I didn’t know what he wanted, then I understood, relaxed, and allowed him to pull me back and up, until I was a few inches from him.
At first I thought the guy meant to kiss me, and was about to open my mouth to say that I did not do that, when he spoke. He quietly told me that I would have to leave. While I quietly put on my clothes he dug in his wallet and pulled out some cash, handing it to me with an apology. I took the money without hesitation, but wondered just what lay on the other side of the door for me. Would the person on the phone see me and get mad? Was the guy eating my ass related to the person who had walked into the house? Were they lovers? When the bedroom door opened and I stepped into the living room I did not so much as look towards the room I heard the voice coming from. I made my way over to the chair I had draped my coat over, grabbed it, and got out the front door as quickly as possible. Nobody came yelling after me, and I drove away with a pocket full of cash for doing something I would have done for free. In fact, there hadn’t been enough time to do much of anything, but I still got paid for my time.
I will definitely be seeing this guy again. He lives five minutes from my work place, and would like it if I came over after a ten-hour shift, without showering. I guess he likes the musky smell of a guy, and I can provide that. Considering the size of the tip I got for doing almost nothing, I can’t wait to see what I earn for an extended bit of fun.
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the esKape on WTNRradio
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Posted:Feb 9, 2013 3:43 pm
Last Updated:Feb 18, 2013 8:34 pm 31729 Views
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Every weekend I go and stay with my girlfriend, where internet service is spotty at best. If I do not get my show finished and uploaded before the weekend arrives it usually doesn't happen until the weekend is over, and I've gone back to work. Since I'm supposed to be putting up a new 2-hour set every Saturday, waiting until Monday to do it is irresponsible, even if I'm not getting paid to produce the show. Last week I purchased a new laptop and managed to put together a show for today, but of course I was hanging out at my girlfriend's condo. I had to put it on a zip drive, get in the car and go to work so I could get it uploaded on time.
I don't know how many of you will take a moment to check it out, but I can guarantee you it is often the strangest, most diverse mix you will ever encounter. Any music lover with an open mind would be thrilled to tune in ever week, just to discover something new.
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Old, Angry Cock
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Posted:Feb 8, 2013 5:34 pm
Last Updated:Feb 9, 2013 7:24 pm 32006 Views
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For the last three days I have not had access to the internet. It has been out at the place where I’ve been spending the night, after work. My days have been so long that all I’ve wanted to do when I clocked off was relax, but instead I have been working very hard on a new song that is almost ready for release. After a typically grueling ten-hour day, I’ve been spending close to three more hours on music in one form or another. If I wasn’t working on my own songs, I was putting together a new show for WTNRradio that will go live this Saturday. I’ve been waking up at 5am, getting to work by 7am, getting off work at 5pm, then messing with music until 7 or 8pm. I’ve had just enough time to eat and crawl into bed before doing it all over again the next day.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s good to feel so productive, and I am proud of myself for being dedicated, but I am also hitting a level of exhaustion that I haven’t felt in years. It’s true, I work long days, use a bicycle as my sole form of transportation, don’t eat as much as I probably should, and smoke way too much weed but I guess what’s really catching up to me is my age. I’m 40 fucking years old and that fact is starting to hit home. I still heal well, still feel like a strong, stable individual, but bad things are starting to creep in and take hold. Pains are more insistent, and my body is more sensitive to changes in general. Damn it, I never thought I’d get this old. Time to retire!
Seriously though, I am understanding my sudden urge to sow some serious wild oats and then settle down. Get really freaky for a while and then go into retirement mode with someone truly special in my life. Spend my days eating, watching movies, enjoying the sunshine, fucking, creating and listening to music, creating and taking in art, going to plays, concerts, dance performances, operas, traveling, and doing whatever else makes us happy. Shit, I’m really getting that old that I’m thinking about and planning for my “retirement”. I will keep putting the word in quotations until I am actually, seriously talking about it because it’s actually, seriously happening. Until then it’ll remain a concept or something not quite real.
My cock definitely doesn’t want to retire, but I think it, much like me, does not enjoy the game that is required to have some fun these days. With the exception of the early 90’s, having no-strings sexual encounters has become increasingly difficult for me. Call it the Craigslist syndrome, even if it isn’t exclusively living there, but the number of fakes and flakes has only increased ten-fold over the years. So too has the posturing and the bullshit. Meeting real people who actually want what they say they want is truly rare. Hooking up with someone who will actually follow through has almost become the unicorn that bi-sexual women used to be. Nowadays I can find quite a few bi girls but couldn’t tell you the last time I encountered a REAL person who was actually ready to meet and get freaky. You’re probably wondering what the fuck I’m talking about , because my blog chronicles how I am having no trouble getting plenty of attention, but it’s not a smooth process. Sometimes I get lucky, and meet a sweet piece of meat like Sheena45 but most of my time is spent wading through bullshit responses from ads I either posted or responded to myself. 99% of what I get back is bullshit. The ads are not real, and the responders are not real.
I want to punish a woman for all the times I did not get lucky when I responded to an ad. I want to tie her up and let all the guys who have been led to believe they are talking to a real person have a turn too. If I had a cunt I could share with me right now, that’s what I’d do; put up an ad on Craigslist and guarantee any and all responders a go. She’d be a truly sick bitch, who would let me breed her, and each guy would be pushing into a pussy overflowing with semen.
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Sexy Photo For You (1)
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Posted:Feb 8, 2013 5:31 pm
Last Updated:Feb 17, 2013 4:18 pm 30284 Views
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I didn't realize, until I started talking to Sheena45 and she started demanding photos, that I had so few posted on either the blog or my profile. Shame on me! So, I've updated the profile pics, adding just a few, but promise to start giving you more here. To start off:
Pay no attention to the cunt behind me, it is my flesh your eyes should be feasting upon.
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