God's reset button
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Posted:Apr 21, 2022 4:02 am
Last Updated:Apr 22, 2022 3:14 am 2504 Views
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On the afternoon of March 24th, 2022 I was standing on the top of a 6 / six foot ladder, where I shouldn’t have been, yanking on a board and trying to dislodge it from the side of the house. I couldn’t locate the screw that was holding it in place because it was covered with a layer of sealant. There was a bit of frustration attached to my actions, along with an abundance of stupidity. Although balanced precariously, I figured I had things pretty under control. I’d been doing various versions of dumb shit like this all day while helping to tear down what I’m going to call a sun room, located right outside my living space. The sun was shining and it felt good to be working, to be productive, even to be destructive. Then the board gave way and you can kind of guess what happened next.
I did have half a second to react, but that’s about it. Then I was spinning, and falling towards the ground, essentially landing on my right arm and hip. The arm was fractured near the wrist and my hip busted right through my pelvis. Even writing about it now, my heart gets to racing a bit. It was painful, and stupid, and I wish it hadn’t happened. I think I spent 10 / ten days in the hospital, and have been home for a couple weeks now, maybe more. Between pain and medication things are still a bit fuzzy for me. Recovery and rehabilitation is going to be long and arduous, and I am not looking forward to any of it.
I landed on the pavement, but writhed in pain and wound up face down in the gravel. My sex slave ChrisSwallows took a photo of me with his phone, as you can see. I was just laying there hoping beyond hope that the fall wasn’t as bad as it felt. Eventually I tried to roll over and the pain was intense. I’m surprised I didn’t pass out, or vomit, because that is usually my reaction to something like this. An ambulance was called, I was transported to the hospital, and the damage assessed. Obviously escaping to my own little slice of paradise in Southern Oregon has been put on hold, but so were the plans ChrisSwallows had to sell his home to his progeny. That’s extremely lucky for me, because I don’t even think I’ll be able to revert to what one might consider a normal existence for several months. He is being very supportive and understanding, and I couldn’t ask for more. Now it’s just about getting better, one day at a time. Progress is painful, but it can be measured. Taking 2 / two pain pills every 4 / four hours has changed to 1 / one every 6 / six hours, and I am more mobile ever day. God hit the reset button on my ass but at least that’s all it was. I’ll be disabled, and never quite the same physically, but at least I’m still alive and there’s a chance I’ll still make my escape. It’s just going to take a bit longer for me to get there. Blessings counted.
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fractured, broken, smashed
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Posted:Apr 10, 2022 8:13 am
Last Updated:Apr 21, 2022 4:02 am 2370 Views
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On March 24th, I fractured my right wrist and did extreme damage to my hip and pelvis. That is why I haven’t posted for so long and that is why this post is going to be extremely brief. It’s not so much that I am in pain right now, though I definitely am, it’s that I have a hell of a time typing because my arm is splinted. More to come as I heal - and the splint comes off.
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the act vs. the person
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Posted:Mar 12, 2022 10:50 am
Last Updated:May 27, 2024 5:54 am 2955 Views
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I am romantically heterosexual, which means I only date, have romantic feelings for, and fall in love with members of the opposite sex. When it comes to my sexuality, I am no more prone to sharing the deeper, more intimate aspects of it with men than I am when my heart is involved. I might describe myself sexually as heteroflexible, but the bottom line is that when I am with males I am not really attracted to them very much, if at all. Not usually anyways. If I’m getting my dick sucked, it is the blow job that I am attracted to, not the guy giving it to me. I am turned on by the act, not the person.
That is generally not the case when the mouth swallowing my cock belongs to a female. In most instances I find the woman visually appealing, and chances are I have also developed some “other” feelings for her as well. Sure the oral sex is good, but there’s a lot more going on emotionally. With a guy, it’s all about my cock, and how good it feels to have my sexual needs taken care of. During the moment, I’m not gazing down longingly, but there’s no denying my obvious enjoyment. I vocalize my appreciation, speak lustily and moan with pleasure if it is justified. Once that moment has passed though, I don’t want to hang out with the man that just swallowed my semen. The same can rarely be said when I am with a female. I want to cuddle, talk, or do whatever it takes to extend the moment just a little bit longer, so we can enjoy each other a bit deeper. In those moments, it can be more about the person than the act. Sex is “just sex” but love is so much more, or has the potential to be.
I am a sexual being, and have never shied away from an experience because it involved someone of the same gender. The same cannot be said of romance, or love. My heart and hopes belong to the opposite sex, but my cock is not so selective. Call it 1 / one part desperation and horniness, and 3 / three parts heteroflexible, primitive brain impulse-to-mate thinking, hunger and a bunch of other stuff. The act of getting naked and getting off is what I am attracted to more than anything else, so I don’t discriminate, but there will always be a distinct line between love and lust. And until a female gets involved my posts are going to be about my attraction to, and enjoyment of, acts and not people.
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progress limbo
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Posted:Mar 8, 2022 1:23 pm
Last Updated:May 27, 2024 5:54 am 2549 Views
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A couple of weeks ago I started selling personal items I felt I could live without in my soon-to-be-solitary existence. It was the typical excess I suppose we all find ourselves with at times; clothes and shoes I rarely, if ever wear, electronics I didn’t use very often, knick knacks that were in my possession because they looked good on a shelf, and so on. Since money is of utmost importance it seemed like attempting to sell these things was a much better option than giving them away, so I put them up for sale on Facebook marketplace. Since I’d been going to a super cheap version of Goodwill on a regular basis I also found myself buying stuff I didn’t need, just to resell it. That’s a risky thing to do when you don’t have a single extra dollar to your name, but when the total price of an item is sometimes only a few cents, and you can make a sizable profit, you sometimes take that chance. Lucky for me, it worked out fairly well and I made decent money in a short time.
Then Sunday rolled around, I got in my car to head to the thrift store, and it wouldn’t start. The battery needed to be replaced, and it cost me almost exactly the same amount of money I’d made selling my personal belongings. The hassle and disruption to my schedule was bad enough, but it felt like a punch to the gut to see everything I’d earned the week prior disappear. Vehicle maintenance comes with the territory, and I probably get off lighter than most because I don’t drive that much, so I’m trying not to get bummed out about it. It just meant I had to start this week by putting a slew of new items up for sale, and I’ll be keeping my eyes open this week for things to purchase and resell. It’s not hugely profitable, but it could be if I had the time to dedicate to it, and if I was as aggressive as the people who clearly do make their living this way. Mine will be a relaxed version, just to supplement a bit, and apparently pay for random things that come up just when I’ve started to make good things happen. I guess progress limbo is a decent enough place to be, considering the less favorable option. I might be broke but I’m not yet destitute. Luckily a dead battery was the only issue with my car, or else I’d be in real trouble, because I need to sell it to get a truck to go off grid. So I’m counting blessings, and that’s about as bright side as I can get right now.
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my horny sex slave; glory hole adventures
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Posted:Mar 2, 2022 6:55 pm
Last Updated:May 27, 2024 5:54 am 2808 Views
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I’m not certain about this, but I may start another “my horny roommate” series, with my slave ChrisSwallows as the star and focus. He has just taken something like 3 / three months off of work and will be available pretty much every moment of the day suck cock and eat ass, and if this weekend was any indication he intends on taking that freedom and increased availability seriously. That, and he also intends on sending me hourly messages asking if I want my cock sucked. Poor me.
But seriously, he is like a man possessed. This weekend we went numerous adult shops looking for action at glory holes. We began on Saturday night, and I’m happy report we were back in a shop the next day, doing all over again. The first night he sucked off 3 / three anonymous men through the hole in the wall, and Sunday afternoon took care of 2 / two without the aid of a hole. We chose a spot where aren’t glory holes, which means you walk around and for a room that is not occupied but has the door unlocked. You let yourself in, assess the situation, and either proceed or retreat for something more appealing. We the jackpot right away on Sunday, but Saturday night was mostly full of duds. dicks, and nobody was really aggressive. All in all a great time though.
was more before the weekend was over. Sunday night my horny slave made appointments suck off 2 / two men, but 1 / one of them showed up, and he did not want involve me in any way. My slave had his fun, and then before the night was over we were in a booth at a porn shop once more. This time he sucked off 2 / two men, and then took a very thorough and enthusiastic deep throat fucking from me. Seeing him in action had me turned on like a beast and he managed to take what I wanted to give him with fuss. That might been the night I unloaded on his face, I can’t remember. were so many loads keep track of.
If things keep going this way I might start a series and report on our escapades. I guarantee you if we convince anyone allow us film you’ll not hear about , but see a something as well. If I do start a new blog series revolving around my horny slave I’m going need a new logo. I wonder what that is going like?
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is it me or the Misophonia?
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Posted:Feb 28, 2022 10:42 am
Last Updated:May 27, 2024 5:54 am 3105 Views
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I’ve started going to the local public library to check out DVDs and use their internet. It is a rather large space, with a great deal to offer beyond what you’d expect from the traditional library. I’m not kidding when I tell you they are loaning out cookware, board games, and even pressure washers for use. I was quite impressed when the librarian informed me of everything, and began going on a regular basis.
Now I knew it was a public space. I expected to deal with unwanted noises like books loudly thunking as they were re-shelved, or maybe conversations that would get irritating, so I brought noise cancelling headphones with me, and at first tried to choose a corner as far away from people as possible. An inquiry about private study rooms was met with rejection due to the pandemic. I would just have to sit somewhere, put in my headphones, turn on my music, and hope for the best. And that worked for a while, until it didn’t.
Perhaps it’s just me, but I grew up with the notion that libraries were supposed to be quiet places. Every movie scene I’ve ever watched that takes place in a library has shown someone being shushed for talking too loud, or making too much noise. Cliche’ or not, I think that’s the way it is supposed to be. After all, how can a person concentrate on reading if there are loud distractions all around them? Of course public libraries now offer MUCH more than books, and some of those things are bound to bring a bit of bustle to the building. The addition of computer access definitely attracts a different kind of patron. Libraries have changed, and so perhaps my perception and expectations should as well. I’ve just always thought they were places where a person could go and find some semblance of peace and quiet, kind of like a church, but that does not seem to be the attitude and demeanor of the staff. And therein lies the rub.
Sitting in my back corner, I can hear the female librarians at the complete opposite end of the building, incessantly babbling and chatting their day away. They are nearly the length of a football field from me, but I can put on my headphones and turn on music and still hear them. It’s not a group of rude, unruly teens it is a few older women who should know better. It seems they are oblivious to the fact that they can be heard throughout the entire building. Either that, or they just don’t care. As a result of this, I had to begin searching for another place to sit, and that is how I wound up close to the Help desk. I certainly expected to hear some conversation in that area, but I did not anticipate a person who spoke so loudly that I would once again be able hear them over music piped directly into my ears. It was baffling and frustrating, but all the more so because it was once again coming from a member of the staff. I hadn’t approached the babbling ladies at the front desk, but I did speak my mind to the Help desk person, and it didn’t go well. Let’s just say I was blunt and unrelenting and leave it at that. The conversation ended with me packing up my stuff and leaving, vowing only to return to check out DVDs.
This is actually very inconvenient and unfortunate for me. It is difficult getting work done online at home, so I had really hoped to make going to the library at least 6 / six days a week part of my schedule. I just can’t go, sit all the way in the back corner, and be forced to blast music into my ears to cover up the sound of the librarians loudly socializing. It’s a blessing that they are there, providing the services they do, and apparently I am the only person with the problem because I certainly didn’t hear anyone else complaining, or even seconding my emotion. If nearly half the staff of any particular business are all doing the same thing, with zero repercussions, then it’s obviously just me that has the issue. I shouldn’t, and wouldn’t expect them all to change for me, so I chose to lose the opportunity to take advantage of some of their services. No great loss to them, a sizable one to me, but I’ll figure something out.
What do you think? Is the librarian “shushing” people a thing of the past, or am I just unlucky? Is it me or my Misophonia?
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times they are (finally) changing
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Posted:Feb 19, 2022 10:50 am
Last Updated:May 27, 2024 5:54 am 3360 Views
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I was walking down the sidewalk a couple of days ago when I glanced across the street and noticed a very cute young lady sitting on the curb and discreetly smoking marijuana from a pipe. Her body was bent in a certain posture and position that any pot head like myself instantly recognizes. Nestled in a pocket of my coat was a container filled with tiny, potent buds and for the briefest of moments this antisocial introvert was so lonely he actually considered walking over and offering to fill her bowl. It was quickly followed by thoughts of how we’d not only be in close proximity to each other but also sharing the pipe, which might as well be the equivalent of swapping spit. Before the pandemic, this would have highly and instantly appealed to me, but recent events like my bout with a strange flu left me cautious. As I kept walking I thought about how things have finally changed for me after 2 / two years of this.
When the pandemic first began, and we were told to keep ourselves 6 / six feet from each other, I really didn’t have to make any adjustments because that was normal for me. And though I might not have been obsessive about washing my hands I certainly made it a habit, and wasn’t prone to going out and handling lots of “things” on a daily basis. I was an antisocial introvert who occasionally went to the thrift store, and frequently visited the grocery store, but that was about it. With the exception of putting on the mask, things didn’t change a whole lot for me. Please remain in your homes and don’t go out for a week, or visit any public spaces? I was already living it.
Things have changed for me though. I started going to a nearby thrift store on a daily basis, and the place is packed full of people rummaging through bins full of stuff. Lots of hands touching lots of things, and mine are not covered with gloves like they probably should be. So I had to make hand washing an obsessive thing, and started paying more attention to where and when I was touching my face. I also got sick for a couple of weeks, though not necessarily with Covid (both tests were negative) but it just drove home the reality that I need to keep my hands clean, and do my best to avoid unduly exposing myself to anything that could tax my immune system. Now I’m letting opportunities to interact with the opposite sex pass because I’m worried about getting infected. How lame is that?
It’s good to be cautious, and what do I have to offer a young lady except a pinch of marijuana and a moment of my time anyways? What I’m going to celebrate is that urge to socialize, no matter how brief it was, or how easily I talked myself out of it. That’s a good sign for a serious, hardcore antisocial introvert like me who mostly can’t stand people. If there’s a downside to any of this, it’s the fact that I feel icky even when I go out in public but stay away from people, and keep touching things to a minimum. My visits to the library are an excellent example: I might touch the DVD cases when I check them out, but apart from that I am only working on my laptop, so I shouldn’t need to sanitize myself when I leave. During the drive home I catch myself feeling dirty and have to remind myself there’s no need for it. I suppose that’s the voice I should have been listening to all along but my lifestyle choices kept me so far removed from everyone that I really didn’t have to do anything different until recently. Perhaps I will now cultivate the correct attitude and habits. Better late than never.
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my body is coming back
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Posted:Feb 16, 2022 6:31 pm
Last Updated:May 27, 2024 5:54 am 2909 Views
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While I was sick I did an awful lot of sleeping, and very eating. As a result, I actually lost somewhere close 6 / six pounds in just over a week. For me, that’s not good. All of that is muscle loss, which displeases me greatly. Just before I got sick I was at a stable, nearly healthy weight and maintaining through good diet and steady exercise in the form of yard work. I was starting and feel better - and then I came down with whatever ailed me.
Putting the weight back on won’t be difficult, I hope. The food is , waiting be devoured, as is more yard work. This week I am back digging, which works certain muscle groups while completely ignoring others. I barely the energy or stamina go more than a couple of hours at a time, and definitely isn’t any extra for things like push-ups or whatever I need be doing develop those neglected muscle groups. The sickness feels like is gone, but the bouts of exhaustion lingered. I exert myself heavily in the afternoon, and by early evening I am ready for a nap that I either resist, or succumb and turn into a / twelve hour coma. I the kind of person that listens his body though, so when tells me needs rest for that long I lay myself down and let the healing begin.
Even now I don’t know if you’re supposed starve a fever and feed a cold, or if ’s the other way around, I just do my best aid my body in getting rid of the sickness. This time I slept my way back normal more than anything else. A few days of body aches and fever, a few more suffering from a runny nose, but mostly just heavy fatigue. Whatever was, I feel like I got off pretty lucky, and hope get back normal again very soon. ’s so much do and I am now a full week behind…
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my cold is not political
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Posted:Feb 7, 2022 10:20 am
Last Updated:Feb 16, 2022 6:32 pm 3042 Views
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I’ve been sick for a week now. It feels like it’s pretty much over, but who knows, maybe that’s just wishful thinking. Tests have come negative so far, leaving me to assume I do not have Covid, or any variation of it. That means I just have a cold, or the flu, or whatever. It’s been inconvenient, but not life-threatening, so I am grateful for that.
When I told a friend I was sick he immediately asked if it was the “dreaded Covid” and I simply replied that it was not. He intimated that it would be over soon and we’d likely have something else to worry ourselves about, which I found a bit confusing. When I expressed genuine surprise, and asked him what made him think the pandemic was almost over, he immediately backtracked. He said he did not want to start something political between us, yet at the same time made it a point to inform me of how he felt about mask mandates, lockdowns, and what he called “mass formation psychosis”. All I’d said to him was that I was sick. I hadn’t mentioned Covid, masks, politics or anything like that.
Diseases and pandemics were around long before social media, and things like the common cold and flu have been negatively affecting people for centuries. I’m sure the occasional asshole trying to make a buck selling potions to ward off evil spirits or diseases might have politicized things, but the bottom line is that an illness is not a political statement. It’s disappointing, but not all that surprising, to find I can’t even get a cold these days without people trying to make it into something else - something that it isn’t. My runny nose is not a personal attack on your freedom and my upset stomach doesn’t say anything about my personal beliefs, or political affiliations. What a strange time we live in, where sharing the news that you are sick can almost lead to an argument.
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that's a negative (but)
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Posted:Jan 31, 2022 7:36 am
Last Updated:May 27, 2024 5:54 am 3042 Views
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I am sick with something, but I don’t know what. A couple of nights ago I laid down for bed feeling slightly exhausted, but otherwise normal. Nothing that smoking too much marijuana couldn’t be attributed to. That night, I barely slept though. I woke with a back and stomach ache, felt feverish for a while, and couldn’t seem to find a comfortable sleeping position. There were no other flu-like symptoms to report except a slight scratchy throat, which I could also attribute to smoking too much. Nothing indicated I was sick with a cold or flu except the body aches really, but I told a friend I was supposed to meet with the next morning about what I was experiencing, and he went and got a Covid test for me. It was the instant kind where you swab your nostril and wait 15 / fifteen minutes for results. The test came back negative, but I was told by someone later that I should have waited until 4 / four days after the first symptoms occurred. So maybe I do have the Omicron variant.
My second night of sleep was a bit more comfortable and fitful than the first, but it was clear by the next morning that I was ill with something, and it was fatiguing me at the very least. I think I slept off and on throughout the night, and when I got up I just felt sort of blah, but a couple of hours later I laid back down “just for a minute” and wound up taking a 4 / four hour nap. My body is definitely fighting something and sleep has always been one of the best remedies for any malady I am dealing with. Allowing the body to do what it was made to do; i.e. repair itself without any interference. No prescriptions or antibiotics or anything stronger than a few ibuprofen. That, and some hardcore fasting can usually get me through whatever is going on pretty quickly.
That first night, when I was having so much trouble sleeping, my mind immediately went to fears of being infected by some variant of Covid, so the first thing I did was jump up and take a sip of coffee to see if my sense of taste had been lost, or lessened. It felt like the 24-hour flu but squeezed into a third of the time. Of course the fact that I’m still feeling sick means it’s lasting longer than a day, which ruins that synopsis. In the end it doesn’t matter much; I am an antisocial introvert with no life, almost no social interactions, and follow all the rules to help keep myself and others safe during the pandemic. The person I am most worried about is my sex slave ChrisSwallows, whom I am sure would love to be sucking my cock, but doesn’t want to wind up deathly ill for his efforts. This too will pass, and we’ll make up for lost time next weekend maybe.
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