We Used to Call this Phone Sex - Part 2
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Posted:May 9, 2023 3:51 am
Last Updated:Mar 25, 2024 5:41 pm 3161 Views
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To my surprise, yesterday I had two long "scenes". Both occurred after I had been teased by men in an interest group room - and rightly so. So, rather than use an interest group room, I used my private room. Much better. No one watching. We could take our time. We could learn a little about what we liked and were interested in. It was fun - still make believe - but make believe should be fun; or so I would hope.
In any event, I will henceforward bite my lip if I find myself on the verge of dissing chat room D/s.
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We used to call this Phone Sex
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Posted:May 6, 2023 3:58 am
Last Updated:May 20, 2024 5:22 pm 3317 Views
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Every now and again I will stumble into a room where there is hot and heavy dialogue; or will be in a room, and such dialogue will commence. Don't get me wrong. It can be fascinating to watch; erotic even.
But I had two thoughts.
1) Why aren't the participants - already engaged at a distance and online - more open to an online relationship that extends out of the rooms?
2) And isn't all the cavorting really phone sex on a party line? (Ask your grandparents or google it.) And aren't we who watch and listen just voyeurs? I keep think of Being There and the line Chance keeps uttering: "I like to watch." In any event, I find it oddly fascinating.
The weather here (northern California) has a possibility of rain in the forecast today and tomorrow. Maybe I'll be able to get a walk in anyway; there are still wildflowers to see.
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To block or unblock
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Posted:May 5, 2023 2:53 am
Last Updated:May 20, 2024 5:22 pm 2974 Views
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I recently blocked someone. An then was an awkward moment in a chat room where she and I were present and a third party pointed out that she was blocked from talking to me. I offered a terse - "Bad experience" - and left .And then I wondered if it was too extreme to block her? So I have unblocked her. Probably won't matter in the long run. I am sure she thinks she did nothing wrong. Sigh. Too early to be attempting this but what else to do at 3am (pdt).
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Talking to Oneself - Updated 3/13/24
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Posted:May 3, 2023 4:50 am
Last Updated:Mar 13, 2024 4:46 am 2507 Views
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I write. I think it is as much to clear bring clarity to my thoughts as it is to share ideas and ruminations about D/s, etc. with others. And that's okay. It is always useful to sharpen one's thinking. But it is better if there is some friction to hone those thoughts. That's what conversation is. And I miss that. Here - on the blog - on the stories where I post them - and from Alt members I write to.
3/13/24 -- I had forgotten I wrote this but when I came across it today it resonated strongly with me. In some ways, I don't mind the silence. I write for me - to satisfy a need to express a part of myself that I keep deeply hidden - and because I am the dictator of my stories - there is no question of control - I am in control of everything. (And, yes, time with a psychologist might be helpful.)
Still, there are people who have joined a room of mine that is specifically devoted to my writing and who are encouraged to contribute, comment, participate. Occasionally, very occasionally, someone does. But for the most part - not so much. And I wonder why. The stories are being viewed - at least according to Alt they are. Perhaps I should assume (bad idea) that they do not merit comment? I know. Negative waves.
Better idea. Keep writing, because I derive pleasure from it, and if people participate, great, and if not, also great. Yes, positive waves. That's a better way to start the day.
Note to self -- When you visit a room, contribute in some way - don't sit quietly on the sidelines.
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Last Site Standing
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Posted:May 3, 2023 2:47 am
Last Updated:May 20, 2024 5:22 pm 2207 Views
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A couple of months I realized that I would like to try to find one last Sub for an affair. I am married so I knew this would be tricky. But my circumstances are such that, for a brief while, there was/is a window of opportunity to combine online and in-person before any such affair would have to be online only.
In any event, I went looking to see which were the most reputable BDSM sites and joined several of them. (I skipped Fet because, as the members there often say, It is not a dating site.")
And now I am down to Alt.
That does not mean that Alt is immune from the programs that plague other sites - scammers, fake identities, weird algorithms that signal views when there has been no view (and didn't I find myself embarrassed yesterday when I acted upon such a View only to be told - politely -No, I didn't.)
On the other hand, the chat rooms here are fairly active and don't have the cult-like quality room have on other sites.
And the people I have met seem genuinely nice and, for the most part, dedicated to finding someone for a relationship outside of the chat rooms.
So here I will stay for a while longer. Hope springs eternal, right, and you just never know.
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Chat, Cyber Sex, and online D/s (or M/s)
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Posted:May 2, 2023 4:30 pm
Last Updated:May 3, 2023 2:21 am 2452 Views
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So I was in a chat room today in which a Dom instructed a Sub in a series of commands and instructions. One would type something; the other would respond; and so forth. It was fascinating if somewhat voyeuristic. I suppose this constituted a form of cyber sex or something like it.
And then I thought: Why aren't they actually having a D/s affair? They could do everything they did in Chat but with the added benefit of actually exploring the full gamut of what D/s has to offer. Clearly distance is not an issue; nor is interest. (For the record, I don't have an answer.)
There is so much I don't understand and this is just one more thing to add to the collection.
I am sure there is someone (or several) who can enlighten me about this halfway approach to D/s and I hope they do.
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Three easy ways to show your submission on Chat
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Posted:May 2, 2023 8:25 am
Last Updated:May 2, 2023 8:51 am 2151 Views
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Every now and again there is a person who is new to site or a veteran and for some reason they are not sure how to show their submission or feel they have lost some of their submissive mojo. Here are three things that are easy to do that might reinvigorate that submissiveness. Please note - these are independent of any protocols that may exist in the room, although so far I haven't found any beyond being polite.
1. After entering a Chat room, ask permission to stay;
2. After permission is given, ask permission to participate;
3. When you are ready to leave, ask permission.
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What do get you from being a (Sub/Slave/Dom(me),Master/Mistress?
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Posted:May 2, 2023 4:01 am
Last Updated:May 2, 2023 4:01 am 2257 Views
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We all identify in some way. I am a Dom. Others are (pick from the wide variety of choices). And we have a sense of what that means in terms of the relationship with our (again, pick from the variety of choices).
But there is another question to ask - and I ask it of every potential Sub - and that is what do you want to get, achieve, learn, discover about yourself from your submission? Not simply what do you want to do or have done, but why. Because it fulfills some desire or want or need or should and you (and the Dom, etc.) should be aware of what this is.
(I like being a Dom because the power and control the Sub cedes me fulfills my desire to lead, to be in charge, to lead, to direct. I liked ballroom dancing for the same reason(s).)
Just curious if others have considered this and, if so, your thoughts, ideas, etc.
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Hit and Run Members
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Posted:May 1, 2023 7:28 am
Last Updated:May 20, 2024 5:22 pm 2318 Views
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We've all seen them. One minute they are here with profiles and pictures. And before you can type Hello, they are gone into the ether (or wherever they disappear to). It begs the question - why even bother? A game of truth or dare? A lost bet? Who knows. But it adds more clutter and confusion to an environment that is already overwhelmed with both.
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Views, Flirts, and Hotlists - Real Interest or Not?
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Posted:Apr 30, 2023 10:09 am
Last Updated:May 20, 2024 5:22 pm 2280 Views
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It is flattering to receive Flirts and Hotlists. Theoretically, it means someone - some real person - has seen your picture and decided to signal an interest. Alas, it does not mean they have actually read your profile.
So why flirt? why hotlist? I mean, this is such a Lazy way to proceed. But maybe there is something else. Maybe there is an algorithm and bots that crawl the sight and create what turn out to be spurious view, flirts, and hotlists. I would hate to think that is true but it does provide a plausible explanation for behavior that seems counter-intuitive.
It cannot be me alone who has experienced this and wondered about it. Comments? Thoughts? Primal screams?
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