Just wondering...
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Posted:Jul 16, 2005 2:41 pm
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:28 pm 30855 Views
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I came back to my blog to see what comments had been added. I was shocked at the number of people viewing my blogs! Over 500 on the last one and over 200 on the most recent one.
This many people reading my comments, but so VERY few leaving a comment. Why? Is it something I said or didn't say? I would love to make this a two way conversation, but it feels as if it is me yelling out into a canyon and I don't even hear an echo.
If you drop by, say hello or tell me I am an ugly bitch and full of shit. That's OK. It is feedback.
So...have a good day everyone.
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A beautiful day.
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Posted:Jul 14, 2005 8:29 am
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:28 pm 25349 Views
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Since I had to work late, I do not have to go in until this evening. I am going to enjoy today.
It is the perfect day for central Oregon. Most people thing of Oregon and think of rain and fog. That may be common for the coast, but on the east side of the huge Cascade Mountains, many over 12,000 feet, it is a different world. This morning it was cool, about 60 and will be going into the high 80's by this afternoon. There is not a cloud in the sky!
I fixed a light breakfast and brought it out onto my patio. My handy laptop next to my plate, the world could not be better. I am looking out onto a tree lined, grassy area where some are playing and several people just went by on their bikes. Biking is very popular in this area.
I just saw a couple of aircraft take off from our local airport and briefly considered renting one for a couple hours. Who knows, I may. Right now, I am enjoying this setting too much, or is it I am too lazy to move?
I do appreciate all of the wonderful support form so many that have emailed me and posted on my blog. I never expected so many people to care enough to actually write me, a perfect stranger. It is comforting to know there are such kind and caring people in the world. Thanks.
To keep you up on "As the stomach turns," NO I have not heard from my friend. I have not written him again and will not until or unless he writes first with a good reason. In the mean time, I am kicking back and enjoying the peace and quiet. All I can hear is the wind in the trees and a few people out enjoying the perfect day.
I should add that I have had several interesting emails. Some seem refreshingly honest and expressed an interest in meeting. I don’t know if I am ready right now. Unfortunately, I have also received those emails that begin with, “On your knees bitch” and usually include a picture of a cock. Those are immediately deleted. I have even had a couple nice invitations to meet for dinner. Perhaps a little later, but now I am enjoying the sun, trees, and nice breeze.
I think I will clean up my kitchen and then go down to the pool. A refreshing swim will be my exercise for the day. I have been having a few fantasies the last couple of days and may write a story or two. ALT may even allow me to post them LOL. Later there will be a nap, dinner, and back to work.
Yes, it is a beautiful day.
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This relationship looks dim
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Posted:Jul 11, 2005 7:23 am
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:28 pm 28620 Views
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The man I have "visited" three times, and had a wonderful experience with, he seems to be cutting off communications. I have emailed him three times this past week and no response. I do not want to stifle him or pressure him, but I would like to hear something.
Fortunately, we have both kept our personal, family, and professional life from each other. We never discussed any of these things or divulged that information to the other. At least I do not have to worry about him walking into where I work.
I am not going to write him again, until I heard from him. If he does not write that is the end of it. As some of you warned me, he is married and would probably go back to his wife and dump me. You may have been correct. At least I kept my heart and emotions in check.
It took almost three months on ALT to find this person. Maybe I can find another in less time. Oh well, life goes on. I knew it was not going to last and even told him I would be leaving the area next year, so it should not be any surprise. I would just like for him to be honest and tell me, rather than leaving me hanging. (Nothing to do with BDSM LO
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A free day
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Posted:Jul 10, 2005 11:57 am
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:28 pm 24626 Views
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It is transition time in my training. I am entering my last year and new responsibilities and tasks. I was hoping it would become easier - not so! I just look forward to next June.
Today is laundry, house cleaning and catching up on some mail. It is a beautiful day and I hope to get in some pool time. I need to work on my tan. I am as pale as a sheet.
Unfortunately, I have only had a couple (very brief) emails from my friend. He just says he is busy and will be getting back to me. I am beginning to wonder. Oh well, if it happens, it happens.
I have been playing with a couple new stories and may try to post one if I can complete it. Maybe ALT will allow it. They bounced my last three submissions.
My mom is always running ahead on everything she does, especially when it comes to family. She sent me a birthday card and my birthday is not for another two weeks. I had not even thought about it until the card arrived. Now I am depressed! I will be 28 (pushing 30!)
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I have returned
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Posted:Jul 9, 2005 9:49 am
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:28 pm 24355 Views
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It has been a long and busy week. Unfortunately, it isn't over yet. I am running a little late to work now. I will try to spend some time updating my blog tomorrow.
Yes, all is well, but somewhat frustrating with moments of pure joy and hopefullness.
jan
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It was wonderful
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Posted:Jul 2, 2005 7:42 am
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:28 pm 25089 Views
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The weekend went just as I hoped. I did not get called in to work and didn't talk to hardly anyone for four days. Silence....yes!
I did manage to get in a couple hours flying time. The weather was wonderful and I made a little triangle cross country. Beautiful. You have to see Paulina Peaks from 12,000 feet then slide back down the Cascades to Crater Lake. Something you will never forget.
I had my pizza and rented Phanton of the Opera and watched (and listened) to it three times. I still see the very strong D/s plot. Christine is the perfect personality for a 24/7 sub. Has anyone else noticed that plot?
Of course being alone so long and watching a good D/s movie did put me in the mood. Yes, we all need some "personal-time" alone with our fantasies, mood lights, hot tub, fragrant candles and a bottle of good wine. Don't ask for details...
I have had two emails from my friend. However, we still do not have another meeting planned. As for the "Martini" comment, I prefer CC&7 on the rocks, thanks.
Well time to get back to work. I can't believe the time went so quickly. I haven't even check email or ALT. Have fun everyone. I'll be back when I get back.
jan
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Short update
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Posted:Jun 29, 2005 4:25 pm
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:28 pm 23841 Views
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It has been a busy but very good week. Even the weather is changing for the better.
No I have nothing planned for my next two days off. I want to keep it that way. Nothing planned, just let it happen. If the weather stays nice I hope to rent a plane and get in a couple hours of sightseeing and touch and gos. That would be fun.
I may have some food delivered and watch movies, eat pizza and even drink a beer (unusual for me.) There are several movies out that I have not yet watched. Time to go to Blockbuster.
Cross your fingeres that I will not get called in to work.
By the way...I tried to post a story and received an error message that it contained "Banned Words." Is there a list of banned words I don't know about?
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Dilemma solved....
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Posted:Jun 24, 2005 8:08 am
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:28 pm 24184 Views
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First I did email my friend again and he did respond. He had taken his wife to her mothers for her birthday. They were there for several days and grandma does not have a computer. He said he was sorry about not letting me know. I accepted and told him I understood. I do NOT want to be a controlling factor in his life, especially in his family life.
He now has to catch up at work and will be busy for at least a week. Works alright for me as well.
I had to cancel my dinner this weekend with my other friend. I really hated to, and was looking forward to a quiet, relaxing night out.
There are certain things that are part of my training that are not available very often, if at all. We were just notified that I would be part of a team on a special "project" that would start today and continue over the weekend, at least. I could not refuse. I will probably be involved all day Saturday and then follow up things for several days, depending upon the results. I am excited to be asked to join the team, but will miss the evening out.
Today is a "prep-day" for Saturday. I have many things to get ready, so I will try to see what is happening on ALT when I am in the lounge for some quiet time.
I feel better now and things are falling into place. Thanks for all the advice and good wishes. See you soon. Have a wonderful weekend everyone and enjoy life!
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Dilemma
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Posted:Jun 22, 2005 8:34 am
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:28 pm 24814 Views
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I have not heard anything from my "friend" since our last meeting. It has been awhile and I know we both have been busy. I have written to him three times - no reply. This is unlike him as he has sent flowers, cards, and lovely e-mails. I want to write again, but feel I would be "pushy." Dilemma!
Now a nice man has been writing me and we have corresponded several times. He is coming to my area this weekend and has asked to meet me for dinner. He even asked where I would like to meet. A gentleman. He knows I am seeing another man, but says it is only for dinner and conversation. I see no harm in that, do you?
Another problem is that I may be required to work all weekend. I should find out today. I still have not decided what to do. Any advice?
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Blogging about nothing
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Posted:Jun 19, 2005 1:00 pm
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:28 pm 24613 Views
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I have done little since I returned, but felt the need to BLOG.
I have worked at least 12 hours everyday since I returned and have had more problems than I have had in the previous month. One of my "instructors" said I sould be happy about the problems as that is where you learn the most. Guess he is right, but oh....I am tired.
Right now I am in the lounge on my laptop. I know I should either catch a few Z's or read a text I will be needing tomorrow. For some reason, I am here, blogging.
I have not heard from my "friend" since I returned from the coast. No telling what is going on at his place. His wife does know about us, although she (nor he) knows my real name, address or place of employment. I want to keep it that way. I have also had a couple very interesting e-mails from men I would like to meet sometime. I know. I can't! But I sure am tempted.
I have read a few other blogs and see I am certainly not the only one with problems. Guess I am fortunate in many ways. All I need is about 10 hours of straight sleep and one meal without a call or page.
I need someone to shake me and tell me all is fine and to shut up and get back to work. Wouldn't you know it...a page. Must go. ***HUGS***
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