Forgive Me .....
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Posted:Feb 13, 2014 9:19 am
Last Updated:Feb 20, 2014 6:31 am 77643 Views
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Your to critical, it's there choice.
If you noticed three grammatical errors in the above sentence, thank God. If you didn't, or can't, our educational system failed you.
Caveat: At one time, I had a quotation on My blog from a Simon and Garfunkel song 'The Sounds of Silence'. The quote is 'And the signs of the prophets are written on the subway walls and tenement halls'. I had originally used the word 'tenant' instead of the correct 'tenement'. An individual wrote to Me and pointed out My error and then went on to say, essentially, "OK, now blast me for being a grammar Nazi." I wrote back and thanked him for pointing out My error. Yes, I make errors - No doubt plenty of them. If I make any, I welcome the feedback so that I can learn and use proper English.
My step graduated from college with a degree in Education. She made up invitations to her graduation party and the cover was 'Your Invited'. And she is going to teach our young? How on God's earth do colleges graduate people this functionally illiterate?
I know, I know ..... 'You know what she means G'. Yes I do, yet I would have also known had she written it 'U R Invited'. You wud hav nown if she had ritten it that weigh to. There is a vast difference, at least to Me, in merely communicating and communicating using correct English.
'Well, your just a asshole G'. Hopefully you noted two additional errors in that sentence too. I see so many grammatical errors in the blogs and I mourn for all of us. Our educational system has deteriorated through the years and many of us, through no fault of our own, are the resulting by-product. What to do, what to do? I know .... 'Just get over it G'.
Just My mourning (that should really be 'morning' rant. Now you can all scald Me for being a grammar Nazi. By the way, I always have a problem differentiating when to use 'who' versus 'whom'. Any rule of thumbs would be appreciated. See? I don't know it all!
your scalding may vary .... G
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Gunny Schmidt....
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Posted:Feb 12, 2014 3:07 pm
Last Updated:Feb 13, 2014 5:47 am 61013 Views
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I served with Gunnery Sargent Schmidt in Iwakuni, Japan for about 6 months until he was rotated home. In the USMC, a Gunnery Sargent is nicknamed 'Gunny'. He was an incredible man and I admired him. He was from the Bronx and had the broken, bent nose and accent to prove it. He was the senior enlisted man of our unit and watched over us like a mother hen. I enjoy a good sense of humor and Gunny had one ... A good one.
One night Gunny and I, and others, were out on the town with one of his buddies, who was serving in the Navy. Gunny, his buddy and I went to the bathroom to recycle some beer and when we all got done, Gunny and I began to walk out the door. His buddy went to the sink and began washing his hands and turned to us and said, "In the Navy, they teach us to wash our hands after we piss".
Not hesitating a split second, Gunny responded, "In the Marines, they teach us not to piss on our hands".
I really liked that guy!
G
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The Egg Polishers.....
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Posted:Feb 12, 2014 9:13 am
Last Updated:Feb 14, 2014 8:29 am 59750 Views
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This blog was inspired by a drawing by a dear friend of Mine. I thank her. As I noted on her blog, I believe in fairies. Yeah, yeah - I know, but hey, what's one mental defect among My many?
A few years back, I went into an art studio in Cannon Beach, OR. There was this little man who appeared to be an elderly elf. Short with white hair, white beard and a reddish round nose - who was a magnificent artist ... Not to mention an incredibly, shall we say, odd and mercurial individual. His drawings and paintings were in the surreal category .... Bright and full of color. I bought ten or so drawings/painting of various sizes and had him sign each one, for I am sure he will be discovered one day and his artwork will be treasured. As I examined several of his works, he pulled a mandolin down from the wall, put on his derby and sang his song about the piece I was looking at - Ever have an artist do that? By the way, his name is Bill Steidel .... you can no doubt see his work online with a 'search'.
One I bought is called 'The Egg Polishers'. It shows two fairies, one old and one young, polishing bird eggs as they sit by the nest. The mother and father birds are happily looking on. The caption at the bottom reads: 'No respectable bird wants to come into this world with a cloudy shell. Did you know there are Egg Polishers who make sure the eggs are vitalized by the vigorous polishing of each shell before the chick appears? Parent birds seek the aid of such magical Polishers to insure their little ones health, beauty and singing talent. We rarely get to see them, but they are there.' He's right - They ARE there.
Spring will be here soon. Birds will be laying their eggs and seeking out Polishers. Keep your eyes peeled and you may see one of the miracles of life.
G
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Fried Green Tomatoes....
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Posted:Feb 11, 2014 5:21 pm
Last Updated:Feb 12, 2014 6:42 pm 58674 Views
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Yeah ... The movie. Remember the song that coursed through it? 'What Becomes of the Broken Hearted' by Jimmy Ruffin circa 1965. One great song, as were many of the soul songs of the 60's.
One line of this song goes 'Happiness is just an illusion, filled with sadness and confusion'. If one reads many of the blogs around here recently, one might buy off on this contention. As for Me, I say Phsssssst. It is not an illusion, nor is it filled with sadness and confusion. Sure, life has those components, yet why don't we focus more on the good rather than wallow in the bad?
Sure, we all have those setbacks in life and, yes, they hurt. I have Mine and you have yours - Yet I refuse to let Mine define Me or My happiness. What makes you happy? Is it but one and only one thing? It isn't for Me and I sure hope it isn't for you. My happiness comes from a myriad of sources and if one source is cut off, My world doesn't crumble down around Me. yours shouldn't either.
"Well, you just don't know what I've been through" That's an accurate statement... I don't. Neither do you know anything about what My life has been about. Sadness - More than enough. Confusion - Lots. End of story? Not even! There has been great joy, laughter, love, thrills, blessings, smiles, touches and a great deal of happiness. I'm alive - I'm free - I'm healthy - I've got a roof over My head, food in My belly and clothes on My back. After that, it's all gravy. Focus on what's important.
We all fall down and skin our knees. As My (very sympathetic) father used to tell Me, "Rub a little dirt on it - you'll be OK" Know what? I was OK - Every time. Now he could have picked Me up, coddled Me and told Me how unfortunate and unfair life is .... But he didn't. I thank him.
Hit a bump in the road of life? Get up, dust yourself off and move along. Time spent commiserating is time wasted from progressing.
Yes, your heart is broken. Yes, your life was wasted. Yes, you're lost and alone. Yes, your life has been or is miserable. Yes, you've been through great tragedies. Two choices: 1) Stay there or 2) Move on.
"G, you're one cold of a bitch!" No ... you'd be hard pressed to find anyone more sympathetic or kind hearted. Those traits only extend so far though. If someone is in a burning building, I prefer to pull them out rather than let them burn - Even if they want to stay there.
Happiness is no illusion ... It's real and it's your choice. "G, you are such an asshole!"
your happiness may vary ... G
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Oh Brother.....
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Posted:Feb 10, 2014 2:15 pm
Last Updated:May 15, 2016 4:40 am 56408 Views
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In a BDSM context, it is you the submissive who must prove yourself.
This is but one line I read in a recent blog here that caught My attention. There were others that equally made Me raise an eyebrow, but perhaps another time for those.
Perhaps some caveats before we begin? 1) I adhere to the premise that everyone is entitled to their own opinions and that Mine are no better or worse than anyone else's. 2) We can all agree to disagree and 3) I do not attempt to disparage the writer of the blog I got this from.
Where to begin without sounding pompous? I could say I find this statement utter bullshit, but that might be too strong. Might I say I find it nonsensical? Would that soften the blow? Perhaps I ought to go with finding IT pompous?
Why do I find this statement so distaste-full? Perhaps because it was written in the context of 'Mistakes a new submissive makes.' To say this, as if it were the gospel, to a new submissive makes My butt itch! I can't think of any words that are more ridiculous when addressing a submissive - New or seasoned. 'Me Dominant .... YOU prove your submissiveness.' Might as well add in they need to additionally prove their worthiness to bow before the almighty self proclaimed Dominant.
I know each of you experienced submissives and/or slaves are probably laughing at this statement and probably thinking 'Who the fuck does he think he is and a submissive doesn't need to prove anything to anybody.' In your shoes (heels?) that's what I'd be thinking. In fact, that's what I'm thinking in any event.
The D/s dynamic, to Me, is always a two way street. Neither has to 'prove' anything. There is either a fit based on mutual respect, attraction, desires and compatibility (plus other factors) - Or there isn't. Proof just doesn't seem to come into the equation. Just how does one 'prove' themselves anyways? Do I see if you can hop on one foot while you masturbate, whistle and chew gum? Is there a written test? Obstacle course?
I've probably gone on long enough and I think you get My point and a feel for My distain and disagreement with the statement.
I am sure there will be a Dominant or Domme who'll read this and think 'G, you're just a pussy ... Too touchy and feely to be a Twue Master.' Hey, I can live with that. I make no apologies for My opinions, nor do I expect anyone else to.
your mileage may vary.... G
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Pet peeve....
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Posted:Feb 3, 2014 9:29 am
Last Updated:Feb 8, 2014 7:17 am 49838 Views
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We all have them ... Probably more than one. You know, those little things than either make us shake our heads or wrap our heads with duct tape so they don't explode, or both.
Gawd ... I'd hate to even start a list of the things that irritate the crap out of Me. Perhaps that should be My first clue? If you have a lot of things that drive you nuts, maybe you need to 'loosen up' a bit. Take things in stride, stop and smell the roses, appreciate what you have, don't sweat the small stuff .... Go ahead, give Me a good broadside of all the clichés. I know them as well as you do.
Actually, I have mellowed through the years and I don't sweat (all) the small stuff. But still...... I do have those moments and if you're truthful, so do YOU. Oh, you never scream at another driver to pull their head out of their ass? Not even when the light is green, yet not as green as their text message they're fucking with? Not even when there's nobody coming and they STILL don't make a right turn? Not even when the arrow is green, indicating they can turn right, and they decide to stop? Not even when they use their turn signal to indicate 'I'm beginning my turn' as opposed to 'I plan to turn up ahead'? Not even when a car is merging onto freeway traffic and it's actually a 'Get the fuck out of my way!'? If you can always 'smell the roses' through these (and other) scenarios, I congratulate you! .... I had not planned to talk about inattentive drivers. Can you spell 'digress'?
Actually, I was prompted to write this blog because of that ring. You know, the one that rings and rings and rings until you answer it .... Or your answering machine kicks in? Yeah, the telephone. I was reading the blogs here and then ..... Ring ... Ring. (Pauses blog here - Phone is ringing. NO SHIT!!!!!!) We all (well, most) stop what we're doing, and we go and answer the phone. I did and was greeted with, "This is Karen from Carnival cruise lines" ... Click (That's the sound of the phone being hung up). The one I got mere seconds ago was the three second silence after I said, "Hello". I guess that's the time it takes between someone sitting back with their feet on the desk (with a machine making a gazillion calls to people, hoping to find one that answers their phone) and them dropping their Egg McMuffin and responding to you. If I don't get an IMMEDIATE "Hello" to My "Hello" .... Click.
PHONE SOLICITATIONS .... Fuck, Fuck, Fuck and Fuck!!!!!! My #1 pet peeve in the world! Yes, I know you can put yourself on a 'no solicitations' list with the phone company. DONE THAT. I am a half inch away from disconnecting My home phone, but it's on all of My business cards and, oddly enough, I do get calls from friends, family, business, etc. Disconnecting My phone isn't an option. FUCK! Dear God, is there any escape from this shit? Every day, EACH and every day ... At ALL times of the day. Don't those assholes ever take a break? And how do they determine when I eat dinner at night so they can call right in the middle of it?
OK G .... Deep breath. It will be OK. It's a fact of life - Deal with it. Yeah, yeah ... But I fucking hate it.
Wow ... Got wound up! If you're a phone solicitor, I know you've got to make a living like the rest of us BUT 'May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits'. OK, I've gotten that off My chest. Carry on....
Your peeve(s) may vary. G
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2013 Darwin Awards....
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Posted:Feb 2, 2014 8:14 am
Last Updated:Feb 8, 2014 5:24 am 48259 Views
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Some recent posts about the book/movie 'Into the Wild' made several people think of or mention Darwinism ... The survival of the fittest (Those with brains?). As a public service, I have decided to post the results of the 2013 contestants. Yes, these people walk amongst us.
Yes, it’s that magical time of year again when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us.
Here Is The Glorious Winner:
1. When his .38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.
And Now, The Honorable Mentions:
2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine and after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef’s claim was approved.
3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.
4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn’t discovered for 3 days.
5. An American was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.
6.. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer… $15. [If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?]
7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he’d just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.
8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, “Yes, officer, that’s her. That’s the lady I stole the purse from.”
9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn’t open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren’t available for breakfast… The frustrated gunman walked away. [*A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER]
10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street by sucking on a hose, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline, but he plugged his siphon hose into the motor home’s sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges saying that it was the best laugh he’d ever had and the perp had been punished enough!
In the interest of bettering mankind, please share these with friends and family…. unless of course one of these individuals by chance is a distant relative or long lost friend. In that case, be glad they are distant and hope they remain lost.
*****Remember*****
They walk among us, they can reproduce.
Let Me apologize in advance if any of you readers was one of the award winners. 
Your award may vary .... G
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Da sun, da sun!
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Posted:Jan 31, 2014 7:59 am
Last Updated:Feb 1, 2014 4:49 pm 46157 Views
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We hadn't seen the sun for weeks here. The valley transformed, seemingly forever, into a grey gloominess by one of our lovely, and all too frequent, inversions. Day after day after day of gray skies ... No glimpse of the sun or a patch of blue sky. Combine that with cold and occasional rain and it wears you out. Each day you awake and open the blinds hoping that maybe today's the day, only to be greeted by gray and more gray. Over and over and over....
Yesterday when I opened the blinds, the sky was again gray - But not 'that' gray. It was a much lighter gray ... Perhaps twice the amount of lightness I had grown accustomed to. I thought, "Thank God, 'It's better'". Then, as I was driving to work, I saw a patch of BLUE SKY! Fucking A  Not long afterwards, I saw the sun! Fucking A again The skies cleared and we had a cloudless & inversion-less day. It was gorgeous, gorgeous and really, really freaking gorgeous.
I work outside in My profession. At about 11:30, My jacket was discarded and My stocking cap traded in for a baseball cap - I was overheating. Guess what? The skies are blue again today - Looking out, I can't see any clouds ....
We're used to sunshine here in Boise. Sure, we get those gray days .... But THIS prolonged gray wasn't typical. As I drove about yesterday, people were out and spirits were high. It was as if sugar plum fairies were everywhere. Dispositions were cheerful and the common theme was 'Da sun, da sun'.....
your weather may vary .... G
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Dreams
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Posted:Jan 30, 2014 6:01 am
Last Updated:May 2, 2014 6:00 am 46545 Views
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I have been dreaming a lot recently ... No, not those sort of dreams (unfortunately  ), merely a potpourri of this and that. I had one the other night, which I can no longer remember, and it was one of those odd ones where I was in a form of peril. I remember waking up and saying, essentially, "Fuck that shit, go back to sleep and change subjects". I don't remember what subject I switched to, or even if I dreamt further.
I have some recurring themes in My dreams. One is My fraternity days in college. I spent four years living in My fraternity and subsequently another two & one half years living off campus and staying closely affiliated with My fraternity. No, it didn't take Me 6 1/2 years to earn a degree (Sheesh - Give Me some credit). I earned one degree and then spent two years in the USMC, subsequently going back to earn an additional degree. Those college days were some of the BEST of My life and I miss them. When I dream about it, it's not a replay of what happened ... It's Me going back now and living there at My present age with all the hoopla that involves. Sort of a mini drama of Me wanting to go back to My past versus "What is that old fuck doing here?" I know, I know .... Odd.
Being the natural born smart ass I am, another recurring theme is comedy in one form or another. Many times I wake up and think, "I ought to write this down while I can remember it". Without sounding boastful, I do come up with some pretty funny shit. Laughing in My sleep is pretty common.
With My comedy dreams, I have this uncanny ability to direct My dreaming. That is to say, I can essentially evaluate the dream and change directions if I so choose - Much like a movie director. If I think something is stupid or 'doesn't fit', I merely stop the dream, back it up to a good starting point and then say 'action'. My dream moves forward with different verbiage and activities. To Me this seems pretty odd - Does anyone else have the ability to 'edit' their dreaming? And why does this only happen with My comedic dreams?
I often wonder what a 'dream therapist' would tell Me about My dreams. Given My longing for My fraternity days and My penchant for comedy, I suspect they'd indicate I have 'Sophomoreitis'. You know, My brain stuck on 19 year old humor, etc. Personally, I think that would be a pretty good diagnosis.
your dreams may vary .... G
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How Long
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Posted:Jan 25, 2014 5:37 pm
Last Updated:Jan 26, 2014 8:48 am 46469 Views
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I posted a comment on a fellow's blog a while back with this same title. His 'How Long' had reminded Me of a story I heard about Abraham Lincoln and I shared it there. Today I was again reminded of it, so I thought I'd share it with the general ALT population.
Lincoln was abnormally tall for his day and age and many of his adversaries and 'reporter types' (Newspapers) used to poke fun at him about it from time to time. Reportedly, during some sort of press gathering, a reporter asked Lincoln, "Mr. President, how long do you think a person's legs ought to be?"
After a moment of thought, Lincoln replied, "I suppose long enough to reach the ground."
Well played!  In that short sequence, Lincoln displayed the incredible back woods humor and wit he was known for. A man of tremendous intelligence and compassion ... And My most admired President.
your mileage, and President, may vary....
G
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