Unequal Relationship....
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Posted:Dec 28, 2012 2:40 pm
Last Updated:May 15, 2016 5:40 am 49239 Views
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This is another little gem I read here on an ALT blog, borrowed and am re posting. It resonates with Me!
This Is Not An Equal Relationship
You are my treasure and it is important that you know that.
Every aspect of our relationship is founded on the concept of you being my treasure. It speaks to my sense of ownership of you, my sense of entitlement to you, my claim on you, my irresistible urge, right even, to use you at my discretion.
It also speaks to my responsibility to care for you and protect you, my duty to ensure your well being and to meet your needs, my obligation to compel and deny you, to guide you and to lead you to safety.
You are my treasure. It speaks to how important you are to me. It also says that you are mine and that you belong to me. You are not your own anymore. On the other hand, you are not on your own anymore, either.
This is not an equal relationship. I will take from you everything that you have to give. And when you think you have nothing left to give, I will wring even more out of you.
I am arrogant enough to believe that through me taking what I need and want from you, you will find your own satisfaction and have your own needs met. That by belonging to me, by being possessed by me, you will find freedom through peace of mind, freedom to be who you truly are and to drop the mask you wear to protect yourself.
This is not an equal relationship. We are not the same. You belong to me and I belong with you. Yet, we are equally important. You are the treasure and I am its safe-keeper. Your role is to be the source of beauty and nurturing warmth and my role is to enable you to do and be everything you can be for me.
I expect you to submit to me. I recognize that it is something that may be hard for you to do on occasion and I do not consider resistance from you as a negative thing; together we will find the reason for your resistance and work through it. Also, it is more important that you feel free to express truthfully how you feel in every moment.
I expect you to be an eager accomplice in your own debauchery, in your own violation, in your own defilement. I also expect you to be a keen collaborator in the rest of our relationship.
This is not an equal relationship. The concept of fairness has no place here. Instead, we strive for harmony and to meet each other’s needs while acknowledging that our needs are vastly different. You need me to be aggressive and invasive whereas I need you to be responsive and receptive.
I promise to use you and take from you as you care for me and nurture me. I am a sadist and as such, I will hurt you. However, I will not harm you. You will always know that you are pleasing to me because I simply take whatever I need and want from you whenever I need it or want it. I am not giving you the option to decline; you are mine and I will use you at my discretion.
I promise to look out for your well being. I will protect you and keep you safe and never abandon you. I will hurt your body but I will not hurt your heart. I am your home just as you are mine. You are my treasure and you belong to me and I consider you my property. I will not share you and I will not squander what you give me. If, at any point, you feel unsafe with me or feel that I am neglecting your needs (not your wants, however), you must tell me at once and we will figure out how to get back on track together.
I promise to honor all limits that you request me to observe and I have agreed to. Remember that I cannot honor a limit or tread gingerly around a subject unless you explain it to me. Free-flowing communication between you and me is paramount.
I expect you to be honest and forthright with what you think about and what you feel. I will not allow you to keep secrets from me, even those that you may think serve to keep the harmony in our relationship. I am not giving you the autonomy to make that decision.
I promise to learn your mind and your heart and your body and to use that knowledge to torture you and to keep you safe. You will use safe words whenever is appropriate to augment my own sense for your emotional and physical state. Note that the safewords are not yours to do with as you want. I am not giving you permission to stop using those safewords unilaterally, no matter how much you trust me; safewords may only be dispensed with if we both agree to do so.
You are the nurturer and care-taker in our relationship and I expect you to pay attention to my likes and dislikes and proactively make my life easier and more pleasant. Unless you ask me for instructions, I expect you to figure out things for yourself. You are a grown woman and I expect you to use your considerable intelligence and imagination and resourcefulness to become the best girl for me possible.
You are my girl. Now, get to it.
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Submissive Owner's Manual
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Posted:Dec 28, 2012 2:33 pm
Last Updated:Sep 27, 2020 6:05 am 49651 Views
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I saw this recently here on a blog poat and thought I'd share. It's a great manual!
I need to feel safe. Before I can begin to open my submissive nature to You I need to feel safe and have reason to trust You. To let down my walls and give You control of my will may take time and testing before I feel safe enough to permit either of us to go beyond the initial stages of our relationship. Even after I’ve given myself to You fully, I need to be reminded I am safe with You. I may like to feel the thrill and excitement of fear and the unknown, but I need to be sure no matter how You stimulate those emotions during an intense scene or situation, I will remain safe in Your care.
I need to know You accept me for all I am. I will be many things to You as our relationship grows and I need to know You accept me as a person during each transition along the way. I need to know You accept me as a friend, lover, companion, and Your submissive but also accept me as parent, , employee, community member or other roles I fill in my obligations to family or society.
I need to have clearly defined limits. I need to know exactly what You expect of me and know that You also understand my limits. In some ways I am like a that needs a fence around my play area so I know how far I can go and feel secure inside those limits. I need You to reinforce those fences by correcting me when I try to climb them without Your approval.
I need You to be consistent. I need to know You mean what You say and that today’s rules will apply to tomorrow’s behavior. Nothing confuses me more than giving me mixed signals by allowing me to break rules that You’ve given me. From time to time I may test You to see if You are capable of accepting control of my life by consistently bringing me back to the path You’ve chosen for me. It’s not done to try Your patience but is my way of finding reassurance You are paying attention to my progress. Very often it’s not done consciously and I promise I’ll not use it as a method for provoking Your negative responses.
I need to expand my limits. I need to grow and to be challenged. Left on my own, I’ll become bored or stagnate within the boundaries I accepted in the beginning. I need to be pushed, but never shoved, to go beyond the places I’ve been. I may drag my feet and pout at times, or sit down and refuse to move because I’m unsure and need Your guidance in overcoming my obstacles. I depend on You for strength and encouragement to get beyond them.
I need You to teach me. I need to learn and it is You who are my teacher. My mind is hungry for new things and learning helps me to become all that I can be. This may require You to continue to learn new things in order to keep me challenged. Together we can grow to the fullness of the gifts we have and deepen the diversity we share.
I need goals. Part of my make-up as a submissive makes me very goal-oriented. I need them to measure my progress and need You to provide them for me. Take time to explain those goals in ways I can comprehend Your plans concerning my growth as Your submissive. Without Your direction I quickly become lost so I’ll look to You frequently to provide a purpose and aim as I continue in my development as a submissive.
I need to be corrected. I need You to correct me when I make mistakes. Without Your correction I will develop bad habits that can be very difficult to break and do great damage to our relationship and to us as individuals. Without Your correction, I may never know I’ve made a mistake. Allowing me to continue unchecked will only cause me to fail both of us in the end. I admire firmness in Your correction and feel secure in knowing that You will never be afraid to take steps needed in keeping me focused on the goals You’ve set for me.
I need You to be my role-model. I look up to You and try to follow in Your footsteps. If You fail to live up to a standard, I will follow You into failure, often without You noticing until it is too late. I learn quickly by the examples You provide for me and often base my reactions and behaviors on my observations of You in similar situations. I will blindly pattern myself in Your image so be aware that my eyes will always be on You as face Your own challenges and daily activities.
I need Your approval and reassurance. I need to know when You approve of me or what I’ve done and to know I belong to You even if I fall short of my goals. I sometimes confuse approval with disapproval when You do not provide positive reinforcement when You are pleased by my actions. I will constantly be seeking Your approval when I’m unsure of myself and may need to rely deeply on Your support and reassurance when I’m confused about a situation or apprehensive about a new challenge.
I need to be able to express myself. I have a need to express both good and bad things to You but it may be difficult for me to put the negative things into words. I fear Your rejection and hate disappointing You, so I may need a little space and time to voice all the things I need to say. You can help me by reassuring me that my feelings are valid, even if they aren’t something You find pleasure in hearing. There may be times when I’m upset or angry with You but without freedom to express those feelings there can be only festering resentment or misunderstanding. Guide me in ways that I can learn to speak my heart without breaking it or Yours.
I need to learn from my mistakes. I need to experience things that may be painful in order to learn successfully. I know Your protective nature will struggle with allowing me to be hurt but I need to learn the consequences of what I’ve done and to experience the feelings that go along with making mistakes. I will need Your comfort once I’ve faced my failure but will sometimes feel unworthy of asking or unable to voice my disappointment in failing. Allow me to sort out my feelings before wiping away my tears.
I need forgiveness when I fail You. Nothing hurts me more than to know I’ve failed or displeased You and I need to be forgiven once I’ve made amends. It is very hard for me to forgive myself for a wrong-doing and I may need Your help in getting beyond the feelings of remorse I am carrying. I may even need to be punished, if my wrong-doing was traumatic enough, in order to feel closure and accept forgiveness. I depend on You to make that determination for me and need Your help in making an atonement that is acceptable to You.
I need to feel I contribute. I have a deep-set need to give and must have outlets for this need. My basic nature is to give of myself and You will be the primary recipient of my gifts. Allow me to contribute to our relationship and our life together. To do less will leave me unfulfilled and unneeded, a fate worse than death for me. Provide me with ways to contribute things to others, also. I may need to give of myself to those I hold dear but You will always receive the best I have to offer.
I need to enjoy successes. Without experiencing and enjoying my successes I may give up my fight to be all You desire for me. Allow me the pleasure of savoring the taste of victory when I overcome an obstacle or if You find pride in my attempts. All of my successes belong to You and I need to share their rewards with You. I don’t expect You to spoil me with grand displays for little victories, but when I’ve reached beyond the limits of my past attempts, please don’t deny me the sweet feelings of knowing I’ve achieved a goal You’ve set.
I need to share with You. Sharing with You is a compelling need and one of the cornerstones of my submissive nature. This includes the emotional and spiritual aspects of my being as well as the physical body I inhabit. It may be difficult for me to give You access to the deeper levels of my emotions and feelings but those are the things I need to share the most. I’ll depend on You to direct me in ways I can achieve total openness with You. I also need to share in the things You are. Trust me enough to share in Your fears, failures and struggles. I’ll never see You as weak or incapable because You have shown confidence in me by giving part of Yourself in trust.
I need to feel loved, respected, and protected in Your ownership. No matter how well I’ve done or how miserably I’ve failed, I need to know I’m still loved and protected by You. Nothing will prevent me from trying new things like fear of losing Your respect and love. By the reverse, nothing will encourage me to expand my limits and grow to be all I am capable of being more than knowing You will be there to protect me from harm and will love me even if I fall short of the target. I need to be loved and to love You in return. I can’t survive without it.
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I Wish
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Posted:Dec 24, 2012 10:28 am
Last Updated:Nov 5, 2013 7:31 am 47800 Views
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I wish you a Merry Christmas
I wish you a Merry Christmas
I wish you a Merry Christmas
And a Happy New Year!
Love and Peace to all My friends. G
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It broke My heart....
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Posted:Oct 9, 2012 3:00 pm
Last Updated:Nov 6, 2013 6:42 am 47219 Views
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Today as I was driving to My first work location, I looked ahead and saw a dead cat in one of the two lanes going the opposite direction I was. I started to slow down with the intention of turning at a nearby intersection and walking back to place the cat in the shade by the side of the road ... With the hope the owners might find it and know what had happened to their cat.
As I was perhaps twenty yards from the cat, it raised it's head and looked around as if to say, "Dear God, someone please help me". I immediately got into the turn lane and stopped just ahead of the cat. I went to it and gently scooped it up with both hands. It was breathing heavily and looked at Me, but it was obvious the cat wasn't long for this world. I knew of a veterinarian approximately one mile from where I was, so I placed the cat in the passenger cushion and made a bee line for it to have the cat euthanized.
I drove with one hand and softly petted the cat with the other until I got there and then took him (her?) inside and explained the situation to the assistant at the front desk. She placed Me in a room to wait for the vet. I laid the cat on the table and cradled it's head in the palm of one hand as I continued to pet it. I spoke softly and told it, "It's OK, someone loves you". By now the breathing had stopped, yet it still jerked and convulsed periodically. The vet came in and checked for a heartbeat and she said it still had a faint one, so she gave the cat a shot directly to the heart to end it's suffering. By now, there were tears running down My cheeks and snot out of My nose.
I asked the vet if they had the means to dispose of the body or if I needed to bury it. She nodded affirmatively, handed Me a box of kleenex, patted My shoulder and then left the room for Me to be alone. It took Me several minutes to compose Myself before I could go out to the front desk and tell the assistant I needed to go out to My van to get My wallet. She told Me there would be no charge.
I have a soft heart in general and all the more so when it comes to animals. Having an animal die in My hands was not what I expected when I woke up this morning. I'm sure this cat was loved and provided a family with lots of love in return. I'm sorry they will never know what happened to it, yet perhaps that's for the best.
They always say to tell the people you love that you love them because you may never see them again. Do the same for your pets ... They can be gone in a heartbeat.
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Now I'm pissed.....
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Posted:Jul 4, 2012 6:46 pm
Last Updated:May 2, 2014 3:11 pm 51562 Views
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I had a blog on here which directed people to an incredible music video at the 'tube'.
ALT, in their infinite wisdom, deleted the title of it as well as where to find it.
Anyone have a clue why ALT does this? Christ! What's the big deal?
G
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Back on the Ropes....
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Posted:Jun 19, 2012 3:02 pm
Last Updated:Nov 6, 2013 6:42 am 50176 Views
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That's the name of the book I bought today over at Barnes & Nobles. It's authors are 'Two Knotty Boys'. It's an illustrated guide on tying various types of knots and different forms of rope bondage from beginner to intermediate to advanced.
As a side note, when I took it to the check stand, I laid the book on the counter with it's back showing .... That's where the bar code was for the 'lady' to scan. She said, "Oh, a book on knots" and then scanned it and turned it over to put it in a bag. It was then she saw the cover, which showed two models in rope bondage. She looked at Me with a sort of embarrassed look and I said, "Yeah, those kinds of knots". I sort of got a kick out of that.
I went to My van in the parking lot and looked through the book more thoroughly than I had when I was inside the store. There are 'lots' of knots to learn how to tie .... I already knew how to tie a square knot, but some of the others are pretty intricate. You have to pretty much 'master' all the knots because all of them are subsequently incorporated into the bondage examples (Of which there are many). Now it'll be over to REI to buy some good rope to teach Myself and practice the knots.
As a side note, the book is photo illustrated and takes you through everything step by step. Easy to follow and the photos are well done so you can see exactly what you're supposed to do one step at a time. I give it 'two thumbs up'.
I see a lot of rope bondage photos on ALT and have many times thought, 'I wish I knew how to tie that sort of bondage'. Well, the time has come to teach Myself! G
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Cunt
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Posted:Apr 27, 2012 6:58 pm
Last Updated:May 15, 2016 5:16 am 53487 Views
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What's your take on the word?
We see it all the time here on ALT, either referring to a submissive or synonymous for her pussy. I think we are programmed from our early (Probably pre-BDSM) days to think of it as a derogatory term e.g. "she's a real cunt!".
On ALT we see submissives or slaves referring to themselves as their Dominant's or Master's cunt .... And Dominants & Masters referring to their submissive or slave as their cunt.
I know some cringe at the use of the word, while others relish in it. Personally, I refer to a pussy as a pussy rather than a cunt, yet I love to call My submissive or slave (If I had one) 'cunt'. This comes totally as a term of endearment with no derogatory overtones on My part.
Your thoughts?
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I'm stealing....
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Posted:Apr 24, 2012 3:11 pm
Last Updated:May 15, 2016 5:18 am 49368 Views
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Well, sort of anyways. If you want to see the BEST wiener and marshmallow roasters, go to the blog 'Puddle of Love' by puddle. I wish I knew how to work iron - I'd make a gazillion of these because I know they'd sell like hotcakes.
Hmmmm ..... Maybe subcontract this out? 
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Blowing in the Wind....
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Posted:Mar 5, 2012 1:56 pm
Last Updated:Nov 5, 2013 4:10 pm 48055 Views
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These lyrics are timeless....
How many roads must a man walk down
Before they call him a man?
How many seas must a white dove sail
Before she sleeps in the sand?
How many times must a cannonball fly
Before they're forever banned?
The answer my friend is blowing in the wind
The answer is blowing in the wind (Chorus)
How many years can a mountain exit
Before it is washed to the sea?
How many years can some people exist
Before they're allowed to be free?
How many times can a man turn his head
And pretend that he just doesn't see?
(Chorus)
How many times must a man look up
Before he can see the sky?
How many ears must one man have
Before he can hear people cry?
How many deaths will it take till he knows
That too many people have died?
(Chorus)
The lyrics are one thing, but to hear it to music is quite another. Go to Youtube and and listen to Peter, Paul and Mary sing 'Blowing in the Wind' .... 1966 version. You'll thank yourself. G
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slave
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Posted:Feb 26, 2012 5:57 pm
Last Updated:May 15, 2016 5:19 am 48943 Views
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I chat now and then with a woman who is new to the whole BDSM scene and the conversation always comes around to what is the difference between a submissive and a slave. The first thing I preface things with is that there are no hard and fast rules carved in granite anywhere and that if you asked 100 people this, you'd get 100 different answers. Each of you reading this have your own definitions.
For My perspective, I tell them that 1) all slaves are submissives although all submissives are not slaves and 2) a submissive will have any number of 'limits' whereas a slave will have fewer .... And some will profess to have none. Clear as mud, right? That's about as far as I take a differentiation, because I don't like to come across as some all knowing, all seeing wizard of BDSM.
Speaking of a slave with a professed 'no limits' profile (Shifting gears a bit here). Aside from the obvious fake and BS profiles, I do see many professing to be a 24/7 no limits slave.
OK, I can live with the 24/7 thing, but no limits???? Really?
Let's start with a few of the basic things. How about , scat or animals. Still no limits? I see a few leave the audience. For those left ... How about shaving your head, pulling all your teeth, mutilation and amputations? More leaving this time. For those left, how about selling you to someone else? Blinding you? Cutting off your ears? Is anyone here still really 'no limits'?
I've seen some discussions where people maintain anyone actually maintaining they're a slave is a farce in and of itself. The argument is that if you aren't a slave as in the pre-Civil War South (When all the above things I mentioned were OK between an owner and their slave) you are not a slave at all.
Personally, I don't get hung up on 'labels'. If a woman does no more than suck cock and identifies herself as a slave, so be it. Who am I, or anyone, to determine the terms of their identity?
Think on.....
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