Uh sorry?
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Posted:Feb 18, 2023 2:21 am
Last Updated:May 3, 2024 12:38 pm 615 Views
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Being a geek type sucks, you perceive the world around you differently than others. You attempt to be helpful, only to cause problems for others. The visual perception of the world around you appears differently to geek types. What maybe thought by others as rude, might be a geek attempt to be helpful or even gallant.
It is like both having very different lexicons. A Byte to one person is a binary number, that takes up a single memory space in a CPU controlled system, to another, it means, getting some food or a bite to eat, to yet another it might it might mean a curved or slack section of rope, a bight in the rope..
So three lexicons, with a word that sounds the same, but has very different meaning in each of the lexicon. Miscommunication because of lexicons.
This falls back to manners. A helpful attempt, being rebuked, and the attempt being chastised, makes the person who attempted it, to not take a chance being helpful in the future. Praise in public, Punish in Private. Something I was taught in military leadership courses again and again.
When I discover that error I have made, I apologize, take responsibility for my actions. Its no ones fault but my own. But maybe there is a reason for the mistake.
A world view of situation that is different then the offended. A attempt to be helpful to others. Or maybe, the brain having issues processing perceptions. This happens to folks who have had TBI, or a stroke. Sometimes that can be returned to normal, other times it can't.
So, take a second and try to see what that person you are mad at is trying to do from their perspective, it might be a socially awkward attempt to be the knight on white . Then again, they might really be a asshole. But taking a moment to attempt to see what the other person seas, cost nothing.
Again, like always my own thoughts, you don't have to agree, comments are welcome when polite.
Radio
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Letting things happen.
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Posted:Mar 19, 2012 5:41 pm
Last Updated:Oct 15, 2013 8:05 pm 26304 Views
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I try hard to walk in joy every day. To let both my intellect and my heart guide me in what I do.
Sometimes you have to do the right thing even though it hurts yourself. This can lead sometimes to heartache. But when you look at why, you see it is for the best.
Life always seems to give me bumps in the road that upset my coffee cup. But I have learned to "handle my cup" better and not let the spills bother me as much.
Where is this going? Several months ago I made a decision that I knew was going to cause heart ache for me. But it was the right one. No matter how much pain it caused me, it was the right one.
Pain heals. It is the initial event that is the most painful. Like getting a bone set. I learned that letting the Doctor's use a local is worse then just letting them set the bone. The local takes so long and while the pain is less then the sudden jerk when they set the bone, it last a lot longer. Just having it done, it is sharp, intense, but it dies out quickly.
I choose it to be sharp and intense and over quickly. Because the healing starts right away, and the pain leaves fast.
I handle life events the same way. The initial event hurts badly but the healing starts right away too.
I am healed, partly by how I choose to face things, and partly by someone who has shown me life is still out there to be enjoyed.
So it is time for me to walk my days in joy again. Thank you sweet lady.
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The philosophical difference: Dominant vs Domineering
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Posted:May 24, 2011 5:11 am
Last Updated:Oct 9, 2017 6:49 pm 28012 Views
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My thoughts on D/s in every day life.
First let me say that some of this is paraphrased from Taku, Master of Nawa Akido. (Nawa-aikido refers to a style of erotic Japanese Rope Bondage in the Kinbaku-bi tradition. The style was developed and the term coined by Rope Master Tatu, who is also an Aikido practitioner. It is used to describe the way of experiencing love and harmonious energy through the rope bondage journey.)
To me, my philosophy of D/s, is one of tranquility and harmony. Everyday life is filled with so much Chaos, Crass behavior and pressing issues, that being able to enjoy the things that life brings is hard enough. In D/s, I look for, (and have found), a slower pace that allows for peace and harmony with my Slave. The key to this in our relationship is the foundation of trust and mutual respect we have for one another.
First, let me say this, respect is something that is earned, it cannot be demanded. If you look at successful military officers, company supervisors, or people in general, those that have the most respect have earned it through their actions. Their proven ability to lead and achieve goals successfully to the benefit of the people involved, not just themselves. The Mutiny of the HMS Bounty is an example of what happens when respect is forced and demanded, and not earned.
It appears that some people online come into chat rooms, and start putting forth demands on any and all within. They are under the impression that they can demand respect, compliance and submission/service. This is so far from reality, that is at times is laughable, it is an example of someone who is under the impression that being a Dominant gives them the right to demand anything they want. In truth they are Domineering instead.
The Domineering personality is one that is discordant, it is about greed, control and ego. Most of them have developed the idea that Submissives/Slaves have little or no value or worth other then the fulfilling of their (the Domineering person’s) needs. The have a definite line that separates the classes in D/s, with Dom(me)s being Gods, and Subs/Slaves being doormats or objects. The fail to see the Submissive/Slave as a human being, comprised of real flesh and blood, with feelings, emotions and desires of their own. They are pieces of meat to be used and no further thought or consideration is given. They organize their lives in “almost a godfather fashion. Seeking to control and manipulate with their power.”
This is the Dominant who is actually Domineering in nature. They demand respect and obedience. People who have self esteem issues, both Dom(me)s and Submissives/Slaves are attracted to this style because they perceive that they will find instant gratification, even though it will have no true meaning or permanence. The Domineering person tends to be critical and unkind to others, using destructive words and actions. They do this in order to make themselves feel better about themselves by belittling others. This is a compensation for their own lack of self esteem, trying to elevate themselves by making those around them seem less then they truly are.
Now it is my experience and philosophy, and it shared by several authors in the BDSM community. (Midori and John Warren to name two.) That a Dominant/Master, that is dedicated to tranquility and harmony, will have a relationship founded on mutual love and respect between the Dominant/Master and Submissive/Slave. People with this mindset/philosophy find no need to talk down to their Submissive/Slave. They see them (Submissive/Slave) as the truly wonderful person they are. Each one unique and special, a living human being with desires and needs of their own, to be cherished and cared for. They earn Respect, no demand it, by being who they are, not feeling they have to prove themselves to anyone. Their dominance is a part of their natural being, and the Submissive/Slave sees and senses this and respond to it, or not as the case maybe. Respect is given by the Submissive/Slave because they have sensed this, “loving leadership and have been treated with honor and mutal respect.” That their chosen partner is worthy of the respect, trust and service they give. The Dominant sees and understand the beauty and harmony of the service given to them, and responds to it with love, affection, and care. They may correct and or punish, but it is never, ever done with rage or anger. It is with love and discipline that is it done.
I personally see my role in the Master/Slave relationship I have, as one of guidance, protection and teaching. The open communication between myself and my Slave of her own desires, needs and goals, become the stepping stones to help her achievement. Making her blossom into something more beautiful every day. That the earning and yes, keeping her trust in my guidance, protection and teaching will achieve the goals we set out for us both. This is a relationship that is founded on Harmony, Tranquility, Respect and Purity.
In these four aspects I quote Taku directly:
Harmony is made up of all the different things that make up our world. Harmony is seen in the way people act and behave among one another. It is seen in the way the oriental places great emphasis on aesthetics, the gardens, tea flowers, tea bowls, bonsai, candles, colors, aromas, etc. In a tea ceremony the participants communicate in silence with each other through every element in the setting as the host uses them to call out a sense of harmony in the tea room. While there is never total agreement on all matters of life, we celebrate the harmony of kindred spirits. So should we celebrate the harmony of our individual D/s bents.
Respect. People must respect all things, all matters without involving their status or position in life; that is, people must not judge or discriminate. In the way of tea, all participants historically crawl in a lowly position into the tea room, all kneel and enjoy the harmony together. Without respect there is no community. This does not mean all agree, but we are willing to celebrate our uniqueness with one another without being threatened or ashamed.
Purity. Purifying spirits is very important since the ideal spirit of the ceremony is one where there is truth, and honesty with ones soul. To share the fullness of the moments, all participants look inward introspectively, and judge their own hearts and motives.
Tranquility. Only after the first three concepts (harmony, respect, and purity) are discovered, experienced and embraced, can people finally embody tranquility. This was the teaching of Rikyu the great 16th century "Tea Master".
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Smoking and quitting
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Posted:Jan 15, 2009 7:13 am
Last Updated:May 3, 2024 12:38 pm 25275 Views
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Well, it goes fair to partly cloudy. I have managed to cut down alot, less than a handfull a day at most, sometimes not a single cigarette. Now I just need the behavior modification to occur. I had hopes that the lady I have been seeing would help, but it seems she is so busy, she can't slow down long enough to help with this project. Time will tell when I can finally try this.
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Smoking, quiting and behavior modification
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Posted:Dec 20, 2008 4:12 am
Last Updated:Jul 14, 2009 6:57 pm 26096 Views
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I have smoked for three years this time. Spent time smoke free, but when the ex decided she didn't want me around it was either drinking or smoking, and the drinking would have been worse considering the other health issues. (Ask me sometime if you want to know)
The biggest problem with quitting that I had the first time, was making it through the first 72 hours. Like with any addictive drug, it has to clear ones system and that is the time frame one has to make it through to be "clean". The oral fixation of wanting something in your mouth, the urge to pick up another cigarette.
The best method would be total sedation for that time frame, but as this has not been approved by the AMA, not something I can seek. So I have come up with an alternate plan.
I have decided that once I have managed to locate a submissive again that is willing to serve, her first task will be to keep me occupied for those 72 hours. Replacing the destructive behavior of smoking with snuggling, kissing, and sex. While this may not be an AMA approved method, it has worked for me in the past, and now that life has settled down again and can think about finding someone that shares similar interests with me.
Now it is just waiting for the therapy to begin!
BT
AR
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Radio Log
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Posted:Dec 20, 2008 4:01 am
Last Updated:Apr 6, 2009 4:32 am 25390 Views
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Thoughts and Ramblings of an old Radioman
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