Not much in the end
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Posted:Nov 18, 2021 8:35 pm
Last Updated:Dec 3, 2021 11:33 am 1605 Views
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What has really changed in all this time? I may be more confident in talking, I may enjoy being here more, but in the end? I don't know
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Abstinence?
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Posted:Feb 24, 2012 2:09 pm
Last Updated:Nov 28, 2021 8:52 pm 33408 Views
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Gosh, I have not been writing here for a very very long time. A few things have happened in the meantime, but I am still dressing at home, alone, and despite a lot of chats with quite a diverse group of persons, I am still caught in the middle between what I d like to be able to do and what i feel I can't do.
Today I was talking to a guy and he suggested that I try abstinence as a method to enhance my femininity. I had tried that before, and I was not feeling all that good, in all senses. But so many people, at least from what I read, are convinced it would be a great thing for tgirls, and I listen to what this guy has to say, so I am considering trying again. We'll see how it goes.
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Sad
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Posted:Jan 8, 2008 2:44 pm
Last Updated:Nov 18, 2021 8:57 pm 31533 Views
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I am sad. Even a person that seemed to be gentle and caring, in the end said that "everybody wants to have sex", so it is basicly me I should blame if no man is interested in friendship. I am sad.
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"too slow"
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Posted:Sep 19, 2007 10:51 am
Last Updated:May 11, 2024 6:3 am 31579 Views
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Been in and out lately, not much time to come back here, and nothing new, really. I have just become even less trustful of men, a guy even said "you are too slow", as if we should all be that fast and hook up, meet, consume, as if that is all we want. Wel, I will wait some more!
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where is the girl
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Posted:Jul 5, 2007 1:18 pm
Last Updated:Nov 17, 2021 9:35 pm 31815 Views
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I have been very busy lately, and had not much time to post a decent comment in here. I have occasionally been chatting with a few men, and a couple have hit a spot in complimenting me, either for my pics, for my femininity, etc. What I mean is that no matter how those comments reflect reality, that is how good my legs might appear in the pic or how much femininity comes out of my words, those comments made me feel appreciated as a woman. A sort of inner vanity, or a minimal amount of recognition as a female; being talked to as one, maybe sometimes flirting... I like that, I really do. Particularly when this recognition comes out of talking more than from actually seeing. It means that the girl is really there 
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Sensibilities
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Posted:May 1, 2007 7:15 am
Last Updated:Jan 10, 2008 5:38 pm 32097 Views
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There is this guy I have been chatting with on and off for quite some time now, and we somehow never "clicked". He is married, and is one of those guys that just want a tg lover, with a lot of sex. When I told him right away I was not interested, he said he appreciated my honesty and wanted to chat anyway because he said he "liked me". So we keep on chatting whenever we happen to be online at the same time, and we finally exchange two words on the phone. He thinks at this point it is done, I am going to be whatever he wants me to be, I listen to what he says but then something slips out of his mouth, showing that he did not understand a single thing of what we have been talking about all this time. He referred to me not as a"girl' but as a "fantasy girl": that is a boy who wants to dress and behave like a girl.
See, this is a major point. I do not WANT to do that, I FEEL like that, and there is a big difference, maybe not easilyunderstood by everybody, but there is a difference. I do not want to play a part, and then when the lights are off and the show is over, I can go back to whatever there was before. That may be a necessity, but not what one feels inside. That is probably also one of the major differences between the sensibilities of a man and that of a woman. For him it does not make a difference how I feel, as long as I can be that for him: a guy who dresses; for me the way I feel is the most important thing, and I would not care how he sees me physically, as long as emotionally I can be who I am.
Guess I am asking too much here
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More silly thoughts, and short phone chats
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Posted:Apr 26, 2007 11:00 am
Last Updated:Apr 2, 2019 11:10 am 32423 Views
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I have not been writing much in here recently. I have been chatting with different persons online, mostly nice persons, but eventually persons who disappeared, did not remain in touch. A couple of them even convinced me to call them. So I did, I had never done it before. It was a strange experience, being called and treated differently; some thought that they got me right there, while it was probably only a first step in that direction. There was no cyber of sort, just talking, but strange: like between a woman and a man who is interested in that woman; and I have never been in that situation. Did I like it? Well I was scared and my heart was pounding, but in the end, well, yes, I did like it.
Will I do it again? Probably, with no hurry.
I am sort of scared to think about it, but I am glad to be able to talk about it.
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househusband/housewife
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Posted:Apr 2, 2007 12:11 pm
Last Updated:Apr 2, 2007 12:27 pm 31794 Views
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Among the thing I discuss with an online friend, there were aspects of my past relationships. I mentioned that years ago, in my mid-20s, I have been with a slightly older woman who, in a few words, enjoyed being in charge. She was pursuing a career, and I was enjoying a long vacation away from home as her guest. So I was home all day while she was working. I of course played the tourist but I also covered her with attentions and helped her out at home: I was always waiting for her to come back and prepared her dinner, i was somehow cleaning up her apartment, one day it was pouring I went topick her up at the subway station with an umbrella, on weekends Ilet her decide what to do and where to go and I was always driving her around.
What my friend pointed out is how I actually enjoyed being the "househusband", being slightly submissive to this woman, and trying to make her as happy as I could. I believe that is partially true, but the point he eventually made was that ultimately I would enjoy such a role, either with a woman or with a man, where I would always be somehow a submissive female (the wife). Those words made me think, and I have been wondering for the whole week what truth lies in that. I have not come up with a precise answer yet, but I enjoy the thoughts I had.
More on that in the future.
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an old fantasy, expanded
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Posted:Feb 26, 2007 11:40 am
Last Updated:May 11, 2024 6:3 am 31960 Views
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I mentioned in an old blog entry how, when I was a , an older woman touched me and asked me -for reasons explained in that entry - if I was a girl; that woman was a distant relative, and lived not far from my grandparents' house.
After that episode I often imagined what could have happened if the following day I had shown up at her door (she lived alone). I was somehow attracted by the idea; I figured she would have been happy to see me and to see her doubts confirmed. She would have given me some of her now-adult clothes, and taught me what to wear, how to wear it, what to do as a woman.. feminine behavior essentially. I figured she would have me dress and then help her out around her place, cooking, cleaning, making up the beds; she would introduce me to visitors as a niece and I had to be kind and nice to them, and that I would have enjoyed that so much that I would have asked her to stay with her and be more of a girl.
At times I wonder if i should not have done it..
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