Looking Forward to the Weekend
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Posted:Oct 8, 2010 3:57 pm
Last Updated:May 1, 2024 7:31 pm 36923 Views
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After three weeks of hectic activity and minor disasters, i can finally look forward to a quiet evening. There will be time to do a little e-stimming and catch-up on my edging, not to mention all the little chores that a good subbie should be doing. There will be time for a couple of kinky arts and crafts projects that i have been talking about for some time now. Yes, i am looking forward to this weekend.
Over the last little while my libido has been a rather unfocused force rather like a half-forgotten ache. It is time to give it a sharper edge. i know that the e-stim will do that for me. It always gets me so very horny. i will certainly take every opportunity to use it.
Since autumn is now here, i was also considering getting a TENS unit i can use for e-stim while on transit. The units easily fit into an inside jacket pocket. With the electrodes in place i can travel with a teasing buzz running through my nethers and no one will be the wiser unless the grin on my face give me away. i did this once a couple of years ago with my much bulkier PES box and had a great time. Riding around with a little secret can add spice to an otherwise dull journey and having an electric current passing through the butt plug Mistress makes me wear makes it much more interesting. Sometimes, i do love modern technology.
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Just Plain Creepy
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Posted:Oct 7, 2010 1:12 pm
Last Updated:May 1, 2024 7:31 pm 36549 Views
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i finally broke down and signed up for a Facebook account. After inputting my my basic data i was shocked to be presented with a screen full of "People You Might Know." What was so shocking was that i actually did know most of them. Clearly, some computer out there was recording searches for my name and cross-referencing the searchers with their list of friends. Then that computer sat there, crouching in cyberspace and just waiting for me to create an account. So even before i signed onto Facebook for the first time there was a list of my likely friends and acquaintances pre-compiled. i was being watched. i am not paranoid but after being confronted with this friends list i was tempted to check my home for hidden camera's and microphones. (i resisted the temptation only because i didn't find any the last time i looked so they are clearly very well hidden.)
The only thing that makes me feel a little better is that we are all being watched and that must produce such a bewildering ocean of data that i can be no more than a tiny drop. So everyone stop for a moment and look over Y/your right shoulder. Is there anyone there? No? That probably means they are looking over Y/your left shoulder.
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Mmmm...
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Posted:Oct 6, 2010 1:12 pm
Last Updated:Oct 6, 2010 1:20 pm 35877 Views
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my nails gently stroked patterns against the skin of her back, intricate traceries of delight. my hands massaged and soothed tight muscles. They worked up and down, kneading the warm flesh then the nails brush along again before the firm touch returns. There is a gentle moan. The body shifts. There is more room to work now and my hands wonder further. They explore the the warm and tender surface. The skin is smooth. It shivers slightly. It is delighted. The hands slide across the shoulders and grip the muscles at the base of the neck, rolling the cords between strong fingers and feeling them loosen. Then they move outwards again. The tension flows out of the body, little by little. Something replaces it. The skin is softly scented and another aroma rises. There is a musk in the air. It is inviting and fragile.
One hand slides over the the shoulder, the fingers working down the arm, and then slides in front the cup a waiting orb. It is ready. It is heavy and the nipple taut with expectation. There is another low moan. The hand closes, applying carefully considered pressure. The fingers shift in a wave. The flesh ripples with my grip and the body shifts again, pushing against me. Her hand reaches back and slides between us...
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The Little Mysteries of Life
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Posted:Oct 5, 2010 2:50 pm
Last Updated:May 1, 2024 7:31 pm 35132 Views
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There are those, myself included, who wonder why i keep this blog. Is it the result of some exhibitionistic impulse? Is it some unreasonable desire to claim my corner of the cluttered domain that is cyberspace? Perhaps it is an earnest desire to elucidate the various and sundry erotic elements that comprise my libidinous on-line alter ego through through honest discussion, exploration and illustration? i think not. It is far more likely that i am just too fond of the sound of my own voice, metaphorically speaking. (i.e. i just can't shut up.)
At any rate, what began as a self-indulgent exercise is supposed to have a purpose now. Mistress has instructed me to blog about my experiences in teasing and edging as i contemplate long-term denial. i am rather uncertain what Mistress means by long-term but She has hinted at an open ended and potentially indefinite commitment. This has me in something of a quandary. On one hand, i love to cum. On the other, i love what the denial does for me. In particular, the edging can go on forever and just grows more frantic with each denied release. The need it builds increases my devotion to Mistress. The need also causes me to delight in the various tasks that Mistress sets for me. Just writing this causes my cock to tingle.
At the same time, constantly screaming "i am so bloody horny..." in my blog can become quite dull. Being constantly horny is certainly not dull but reading about it can be. And so i have digressed from time to time. In the future i am going to try setting a schedule for commentaries, discussing various aspect of my thoughts and progress on particular days. The structure will help me order the blog a bit better. i have also resolved to add a few more photos. This is something that i did in the beginning and then i got out of the habit. Mistress has requested some of the anal play, so that is on my list. i will see what else i can produce, preferably with an arty twist. So, i hope to enliven and order the blog a bit better in future. That is the intention. W/we will see if i can live up to it.
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An Admission
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Posted:Oct 4, 2010 12:56 pm
Last Updated:Oct 4, 2010 1:00 pm 35136 Views
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In a previous post i commented on the wonderful variety of natural breast sizes and shapes while decrying the homogenization of those lovely orbs through surgical augmentation. At that time i admitted to being something of a hypocrite. You see, i use a form of augmentation myself. While it is non-invasive and is temporary, i am definite artificially enhancing myself.
Yes, i am a pumper.
While not as dedicated as some to the use of the penis pump, i do use it regularly to give myself more girth and a little extra length. i also rather enjoy the pumping sessions themselves. During sex the girth makes a tremendous difference to the sensations my partner and i feel. The pumping also helps with what has become an unpredictable erection. i have been told that size doesn't matter. After experiencing both an average and a enlarged cock, i would beg to differ. While i am not about to get the surgery necessary for a permanent enlargement, i certainly do try to pump up before leaping into the sack. So, how much does the pumping enlarge my cock? i have attached an image to this post showing the difference. Both are pictures of my limp cock. i will leave the view to guess which is the before and which is the after image.
Of course, the effect is temporary. Most of the effect is gone by the following morning. It takes me about an hour to reach maximum size, so planning is required if the pump is to be used as a regular part of a sex life. My cock does get sore if i over use the pump. i still think that the cock pump is a wonderful addition to my toy box. Hypocrit or not, i intend to continue pumping.
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A Lot of Running Around
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Posted:Oct 1, 2010 12:01 am
Last Updated:May 1, 2024 7:31 pm 35345 Views
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Today was a very busy day with a lot of errands to run and a lot of things to arrange. i have a few days off to prepare for a convention this weekend and those days have been pretty full. Still, it is astonishing to me that despite all the frantic preparations that i can still find time for some erotic electric play and good old fashioned edging. (i say old fashioned but i really can't imagine my grandpa doing this.) i guess it is an excellent sign that this denial thing has my attention.
i wish i could communicate how much fun i have with the e-stim. The intensity, the depth and the way that the sensations just go on and on...very much the way i do on the subject...mean that the fun can last for hours. Some sessions have gone on for hours. i regret that this morning's session was a mere thirty minutes or so but it was still sufficient to put the edge on an already horny day. And it was followed by more fun in the shower. That soapy right hand feels so good. Maybe tomorrow i will add a little tigerbalm for spice.
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A Sense of Proportion
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Posted:Sep 29, 2010 11:08 pm
Last Updated:Oct 14, 2010 6:18 pm 44139 Views
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A friend and i were talking about women today. W/we were both expressing our admiration for the female form, by which i mean the natural and unaugmented female form. W/we both agreed that our society has encouraged too much distortion of what is a naturally lovely shape. Breasts are an excellent example. They come in a diverse range of shapes and sizes, each pair with its own distinct charm. However, there seems to be social pressure to homogenize all of this wondrous diversity into a single over-sized type that, while eye-catching, is often out of all proportion to the figure that supports it. Proportion is the key. Large breasts on a robust and well rounded woman are delicious. Small and perky bosoms on a slender woman are bewitching magic. To be truly alluring, they need to fit with the rest of the woman, not treated as a thing in isolation. Cup size is not a competition and variety is truly the spice of life. i can find words to praise the large and the small and the glorious globes that comfortably fill my uplifted, worshiping hands. Each pair is entrancing, unique and beyond compare. Why then is there such pressure to throw away that special quality that makes each special in favour or a mediocre mean?
For those W/who think that i am spending too much time looking at women's chests, i should point out that i am also spending a lot of time looking at their bottoms. It must be the edging. It has be so damn horny.
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Just a Reminder
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Posted:Sep 28, 2010 8:17 pm
Last Updated:May 1, 2024 7:31 pm 35381 Views
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i spent a little time with my e-stim box this afternoon. It has been a while since i have used it and i was instantly reminded of why i love it so much. The sensations are so intense and immediate. They are also diverse, from stinging staccatos to deep throbs. And they keep going....There is truly nothing like it.
After watching a couple of e-stim videos with Mistress last night and even more today, i was really in the mood. It brought back memories of the sessions we have played, as well as the casual sessions i have enjoyed on ALT. i now have a much more reliable connection for the electrode rings and wanted to test it. Yes, the new connection works well although the new sensations are more biting than before. But then that will just add to the fun. After all, i am not looking for a gentle stroking. i want to moan and gasp for Mistress because She loves a good moan. And i love the intensity of the feeling. The only problem now is finding a mutually suitable time. W/we are both so busy. i have faith, however, that W/we will find that time soon.
Of course, that might only be my horniness talking. i have been continuing with the edging. i want to keep myself in need. i want to be ready at any moment to beg for release and beg sincerely, should that amuse Mistress. i want to be controlled by that need and driven by it. i will be doing a few edgings with the e-stim in the near future. That souled add some new intensity. i will also be using some icyhot and tigerbalm to mix things up. i will work to keep the need fresh and intense. i will build the need, feed it like a living thing, and it will grow.
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A Wonderful Chat
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Posted:Sep 28, 2010 12:16 am
Last Updated:Sep 28, 2010 2:24 am 35847 Views
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i spent a wonderful evening with Mistress tonight. W/we chatted and shared video clips as though W/we were in the same room. The clips were selected pieces of porn found in various dark corners of the internet and we traded comments as W/we watched them together. Part of the process of getting to know Mistress, and Her getting to know me, has been the trading of fantasies. Tonight W/we viewed e-stim/electro-torture videos, some Femdom, a fisting video and straight up screwing. Most of it was less than convincing. One video was more than convincing. They all gave us an opportunity to trade thoughts and discuss our kinks. It was a wonderful and while the content was sexual, the even itself was not. As Mistress has reminded me on a number of occasions, domination is not all about sex. In fact, it really has very Little to do with sex. Sex can be the forum for the submission, it can be entertainment for the sub and Domme alike. But it is the Central point. The point of my submission to Mistress is my submission in whatever form it might take.
Having said that, i felt far more aroused and in need of release when the chat was complete. i was finding it hard not to think of sex, not to beg to be used and tormented for Her amusement. Chatting with Her always has that effect on me but i try not to be constantly going on about it. i imagine there is nothing my tiresome than a needy subbie. And that is part of the self-denial too: to hold in the desire to go on about my needs and try to address those of Mistress instead. I know that Mistress will be reading this (She has instructed me to email each of my blog posts to Her) and i hope that She will understand that this is not intended as begging for attention but rather an effort to open myself up to Her without edit ting or omission. By giving away the way i work inside, i hope to give Her the tools to dominate me more completely. i hope that She will take full advantage of this and make me fully Hers: Her little play thing. Her piggy. Her fluffy. Her toy.
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Alone but not forgotten
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Posted:Sep 27, 2010 1:24 pm
Last Updated:May 1, 2024 7:31 pm 35601 Views
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It is an odd thing having Mistress so busy. In many ways Her lack of attention builds a stronger need in me, similar to the way in which the edging builds a stronger desire for release. i find myself more hungry for Her, more willing to submit and more ready to endure the delightful torments that She will impose on me. i also find that She is very much in my mind and in my fantasies. If She was here now i would be positively vibrating with excitement and wanting to give myself to Her without reservation for Her use and entertainment.
As delightful as the long distance relationship has been, the idea of Her fingers tugging at my nipple clamps or turning up the power on the e-stim while i buck and squirm at the flood of erotically vicious sensations, the notion that Her pussy might be clamped over my mouth to muffle my cries as She torments my cock and balls is exciting beyond belief. Or better yet, to have Her hands edge me.... Tease and deny.... Such sweet and continuous expectation...
But that is ground i have covered before in this blog.
Perhaps it is enough to say that the edging is working and that i am fit to be tied. On Friday night, after i had completed an edge i was so excited that my cock produced a jet of cum after i had stopped stroking. There was no sensation of orgasm, no pleasure associated with it. There was not even a sense of contraction. It was as though i was watching someone else. But it was mine and the ejection was a strong one. Afterward i did not feel relieved or released. If anything i felt hornier. This has happened before much to Mistress' delight. It seems to mean that i am reaching an appropriate level of denial. How odd that i should find denial so fulfilling.
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