~Slow
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Posted:Jun 20, 2023 7:58 am
Last Updated:May 3, 2024 7:43 pm 10708 Views
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“Slow is often overlooked in rushed culture. Its’ oracle is not acknowledged, properly understood, or respected. The slow breath. A slow first kiss. Slowly disrobing in front of a lover. Slow lovemaking. Slow to get up out of a warm bed. Slow stretching. Slow yoga. Slow bathing. Slow and steady. Slowly walking through an airport to catch a flight. Slow decision-making. Slow crockpot cooking. Slow eating. Slow creativity. The pause before we speak. When we give ourselves (our cells) permission to slow down, our whole system is met in a magical place where regeneration and rejuvenation naturally begin to occur without any effort from us.”
— India Ame’ye, Author, Energy of Gods
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Submissive Traits - Intelligence
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Posted:Jun 20, 2023 7:01 am
Last Updated:Jun 25, 2023 3:18 am 10556 Views
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If submission is the teammate of Dominance then intelligence is the spoil of victory.
It is tempting to look at images of BDSM and sadomasochistic pornography and assume that a submissive or masochist must be either weak-willed or feeble of mind and heart to allow someone to use and even abuse them in such a manner. After all, what strong-minded or self-assured woman would submit them to the physical and emotional subjugation and even humiliation depicted in such imagery? Clearly, there must be something wrong with a person who allows themselves, nay even seeks out, such treatment. But not so fast, there is much more than meets the eye.
It is true that domineering men who hide their insecurities behind the bluster, bravado, or even violence often seek out weak or meek women as not only their foil but also sadly their emotional and physical punching bags. It is tragic and sadly all too common throughout the world in all forms of “relationships,” vanilla and BDSM alike. Often such men want nothing more than a human lap that will dutifully stand by their side regardless of behavior only to be kicked, ignored, and emotionally malnourished. The domineering prick wants the illusion of control to shine through for everyone around them to see as a boost to their fragile ego but never wants to be outshone or upstaged. They want their healing and panting at their side when it is convenient for them and out of sight and mind when it is not. It's a sad state of affairs all around and particularly for dependent or even co-dependent women who are subjected to and nearly held prisoner by such domineering behavior. Sadly, there are many of these domineering men who pose as Dominants and candidly give the BDSM and D/s community a bad .
So let me be clear. A Dominant has no need for, nor a desire for, a lap dog. Nothing could be more painfully boring or unfulfilling to a Dominant than a codependent or weak-willed or minded lapdog of a submissive. A great part of the reward of submission to a Dominant is that it must be earned from a very worthy source. It may even be an outright challenge. By this, I do not mean the brat submissive who is really a top and challenges every move a Dominant makes seeking to find the “One” who is tough enough to beat her at her own game. That is really just Dominance or more likely domineering in disguise. I am referring to patiently and lovingly earning the submission of a woman who is strong, intelligent, self-assured, capable, as well as beautiful, sensual, and sexually adventuresome. That is where the true reward lies.
When I look down at my submissive kneeling before me I do not wish to see a cowering dog. No, I want to see the glimmer of intelligence in her eye, the knowing look that she could be anything she wants to be in this life but chooses to be here, at my feet. I want to know that she appreciates my own intellect and can match it step by step. I want a challenge not only from her body but also from her mind. I want to have to work for the submission I receive. Do not fight over it, earn it. I want a submissive worthy of my Dominance every bit as much as I strive to be worthy of her submission. Ultimately I want a partner who is as interesting and challenging to talk with, go places with, and experience life with as she is sexy, submissive, devoted, and serving. I want her to push me as much as I push her. I want a partner, not an automaton
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But I am a guy and like most men can be visually driven. I would be lying if I did not say that looks matter to me, and that appearance plays a significant role in attraction. But looks alone only draw me closer to curious exploration and no more. Sexiness, sensuality, and overall attraction do not come from appearance alone. They are a state of mind. And there is nothing more sexy and sensual to me than a highly intelligent woman who is confident and curious about life, herself, her sexuality, and other people. An outgoing, intelligent, articulate, and confident woman combined with a natural curiosity and desire for exploring and enhancing her sensuality is a lethal combination for me. Add a touch of submissiveness or even a desire to submit and I am slain. The secret sauce though is in the heart and mind.
An intelligent Dominant will always seek an equally intelligent submissive. They desire a partner to dance the D/s dance with who is challenging (not combative), yet devoted. The rewards of submission are commensurate with the effort. Intelligence combined with sensual beauty is a prize worth every ounce of effort a Dominant can muster. Ultimately, when my Muse outshines me and is the center of everyone else’s attention and focus it is not an affront to me but instead perhaps the ultimate compliment. For it is a submissive who shows for all to see exactly what sort of Dominant they kneel before.
Caption © For The Love of a Submissive
**Archive
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~Woman
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Posted:Jun 19, 2023 1:41 am
Last Updated:Feb 2, 2024 1:16 am 10508 Views
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Woman is water. Endless deep water abyss. She carries incredible strength. Water is capable of both giving life, to everything it touches, and demolishing everything in its path, bringing destruction. She can be a flexible calm river, the smooth surface of a lake, a babbling stream, a noisy waterfall, a raging ocean, life-giving rain, or dew … Like water, a woman can evaporate, or turn into ice. And all these forms and states are impermanent and depend on who and how touches its waves…
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Gratitude
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Posted:Jun 16, 2023 11:59 pm
Last Updated:Jun 20, 2023 6:04 am 10524 Views
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“Cultivate gratitude. Make it a habit to thank the people who are there for you. Thank them for believing in you, for listening, and for being a shoulder to lean on. Thank them without the expectation of anything in return. Thank them just to express your sincerest appreciation. Make it part of your daily practice. When you truly value those that support you, you’ll soon find that it comes back to you, amplified. It’s one of those unexplainable lessons of the heart, a twisted version of Newton’s third law of motion. Actions may well have an equal and opposite reaction, but when it comes to gratitude, the reactions are often louder, grander, and uplifting.”
— daily-esprit-descalier
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One Man’s Perspective: Body Types & What Really is Sexy
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Posted:Jun 13, 2023 3:52 am
Last Updated:May 3, 2024 7:44 pm 12920 Views
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You are going to get an earful of what I find to be absolutely sexy as fuck and what is just downright repulsive. And guess what ladies - most of it has little to do with what you look like.
Now I’m not speaking for all men.
I wouldn’t dare do that, because too many men are fucking idiots, especially on this topic, yet there are plenty that sees things like me, so don’t give up hope just yet.
Nope, there are some shallow fuckers out there; they are the same assholes that guilt their girls into getting boobs jobs or humiliate them for eating when they are hungry. Now, before the Boob Job Demo blows up my inbox, just know I am not saying there is anything wrong with implants by the way; just do it for yourself if that makes you feel better inside. Not for some fuckin’ guy.
Nah. Fuck those guys that make it all about appearance - you don’t want those shallow idiots in your life anyways because their issues run deep.
Yet still, I’m speaking for myself on what I find sexy. What I find to be downright unbelievably irresistible. The qualities in women that I just cannot live without. What makes me so fucking weak is that it is just downright pathetic. And I’ll touch on some topics that stick in your heads all the time,
First up - Brains, Confidence, and the Ability to Laugh. I’ve realized that I am a sapiosexual, and to add to that, I am extremely turned on by self-confidence and wit. To me, nothing is hotter than a woman who believes in herself, brings something to a conversation, and can laugh with you. Without those things, I just would never be able to get past it.
Do you know how fucking annoying it is to crack some wise-ass remark for it all to fall on deaf ears? Or to constantly have conversations about the fucking Kardashian’s some other dumb Us magazine topic when I’d rather hear about Tolstoy’s War and Peace because I just don’t have the patience to read it.
Fuck yes. Cliffs Note me, you sexy bitch.
All this “is my ass too big” shit is so damn unimportant in the grand scheme of things. Women beat themselves up relentlessly and it is sad to see because the things that matter to the kinds of men you want to attract are not superficial, to begin with.
And I am not saying don’t take care of your body.
The hottest thing about a woman who takes care of her figure is the simple fact that she is not lazy and gets off her ass to do it. Results are not nearly as important as the act of trying. Spin class and smoothie rituals and a general disdain for the Golden Arches are just downright hot because it says one thing loud and clear - I care about myself.
Same with work ethic. You can be a stay-at-home mom or a career woman but laziness doesn’t fly no matter what you do - laziness is just downright hideous.
So, I guess I’ll dive full-fledged into each little thing I can think of right away and let the chips fall where they may.
Weight. This topic just sucks to write about, but it’s a reality that we all deal with this concept in some ways, so I decided to hit on it first and rip the band-aid off. Maybe we’ll all will find solace in knowing that “Nearly three-quarters of American men and more than 60% of women are obese (BMI > 30) or overweight (BMI > 25).” So, at least our fat asses are not alone, right? Life is too damn short to hurt your body more by stressing out over this crap - there are a lot worse things in life you can be than a bit chubby. Fuck, as soon as I do a side profile in the mirror I tell myself “Dude, wtf?”. Yeah, I could stand to lose quite a bit too, but this post isn’t about me. Whew. That would be uncomfortable.
Sometimes I wish I could reach into the minds of the readership and plant a seed, and right now that seed would carry with it the idea to stop fuckin’ beating yourselves up over this one. It really is more in your head than ours. Some of the sexiest people I have ever seen or known were way past that of the Ideal Weight Calculators, which are pretty hard to get to. If I hit my recommended weight I’d look like a boy. Fuck that. I’ll eat healthier and work out and always reach for better health. Be happy and proud of who you are and develop habits to be healthy. That is so much more sexy than hitting some dumb number.
The Ughs. I don’t know what to call this group of things that trouble so many of you, but it’s basically stretch marks, wrinkles, and all those little stupid things, whatever they are, that every human has. Any guy that doesn’t see these as accents of your overall beauty as a person is an idiot. Stretch marks tell me you lived. Wrinkles tell me you lived. Scars tell me that you lived.
And your life - is what is hooking me in. It is your essence as an individual - the beauty in your stories. The mind that you have. The hard times and the good ones. That is what is so damn sexy.
Ass & Boobs. Seriously tits and ass should matter as much as hair color, which is not at all. What the fuck is wrong with our society that this somehow has gotten into women’s heads as a matter of importance. Don’t get me wrong - I love tits and ass - I just love them all. Little A-cup tits and big double Ds - to me, it is just a representation of your feminine form.
You, ladies, are so fucking sexy just being ladies.
You don’t need a huge rack or a Kardashian ass to improve your sexy rating. Not in the least. Remember - it’s all about your attitude, sweetheart. It always was.
Being a Lady. There is just something so unbelievably debilitating to us men about you embracing your feminine side. I think it is what separates you from us Neanderthals with the Y chromosome - that essence of being a woman.
Fuck, it weakens me to even write about it.
Your scent. Your perfume. You soft bat of the eyes. Your giggle. You're waking up in the morning and doing your hair and makeup. When you shower - it’s that feminine soap you buy. That lotion and oil you apply afterward when I know you are naked, just being a woman.
Most idiots never take the time to even tell their own women how sexy this part of you really is, so here I am, telling you - all those little things you do to be a woman fucking matter. And you when you get into the habit of not doing them - it really fucking matters. Sorry but daily sweatpants and a bun gets old as shit real fast and tells me you don’t care, so why the fuck should I.
Real Sexiness. As mentioned above, 99% of what is so damn hot about you women is what you do - not what dress or cup size you rock.
Read a fucking book and shut off Bravo, Netflix should be seen as a slippery slope.
Read. Learn. Grow, as a human being. For fuck’s sake - evolve.
Work like you mean it. Parent like you is trying to outdo everyone else. No matter what “it” is - give a fuck.
Effort in life, making people laugh, being happy, caring, and having a sense of self-confidence about you. That is what is sexy.
At least to me.
-TRD
~The-Romantic-Dominant
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The Sea
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Posted:Jun 12, 2023 3:26 am
Last Updated:Apr 15, 2024 8:02 pm 11415 Views
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“She reminded me of the sea; the way she came dancing towards you, wild and beautiful, and just when she was almost close enough to touch she’d rush away again.”
— Unknown
*Photo Taken By: Me
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Some Reactions You Might Experience in a BDSM Scene
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Posted:Jun 11, 2023 2:49 am
Last Updated:Jun 22, 2023 7:53 pm 11100 Views
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Let’s start off with a few points of clarification on this one.
One: Not everyone has a big reaction (emotional or otherwise) during their BDSM scene or kinky fuckery. And that’s okay. You can still have a great time and not emote all over the place.
Two: Some emotional reactions happen later and in private. That’s okay, too.
Three: Having or not having a specific reaction is not an indicator of the quality, intensity, or pleasure of your BDSM scene.
That being said at times some people will and do have different kinds of big reactions during their kinky fuckery. Some are about your personality and how you tend to react to stimuli. Others may be about what’s on your mind or your emotional state before or during your scene. And still, other reactions may seem completely random at the moment and are new to you.
Basically, what I’m saying is that’s it complicated, it varies from person to person and scene to scene, and as always, your mileage may vary.
All that being said, here are some emotional reactions that can happen when you get kinky.
Crying
This may be the most well-known, but playing in an intense way with any kind of kinky fuckery like orgasm control, spankings, or anything else can produce tears. Everyone will have a different reason (if they even know why they’re crying). For me, it’s often a huge emotional release. Whatever tension I’ve been carrying around in my body comes out through the force of impact and pain.
Often it’s because I have to focus on the moment, the sensations, and what I feel in that second — instead of all the crap in my head. A few moments of mindfulness, pleasure, and feeling connected to John Brownstone, and I might be a puddle of tears. But it doesn’t just because I want it to happen. I asked to be spanked until I cried and while I felt better, not a tear was shed.
Laughter
Some people react with laughter when they have an intense moment or feel overwhelming pleasure. I’ve heard it before in someone else’s scene, and it sounds like pure joy bubbling up to the surface from a deep well. Even if it’s a little jarring to hear in a BDSM club filled with implements of “torture,” it’s also amazing to witness. Laughter is just as valid as tears and can be a similar release of emotion and tension.
Some kinksters enjoy tickle play for exactly this reason. Yes, there’s power and control, but there’s also laughter. And that can be an amazing emotional release.
Defiance
I can’t fully explain this one (I’ll leave that to the psychological experts out there) but I have absolutely felt defiant in the middle of a scene. I wanted what we were doing, and I fully consented to the moment. And yes, I loved the sensations. But instead of melting into pleasure or crying out my stress, I pushed back
“Is that all you’ve got?”
“I can take it.”
Refusing to say “red” or even “yellow” when I was starting to fade.
I’ve never entered a scene planning to “take it all” but somewhere between the first smack and probably the third, it’s all I can think about. This feeling of, “I’ll win this round.” John Brownstone has reared back like a baseball player with a paddle, and I’ve smirked and said, “Green” like it was some sort of challenge. Thankfully, he’s smarter and more cautious than I am and stops sooner rather than later.
Subspace
No conversation about emotional reactions in a BDSM scene is complete without subspace. Not everyone experiences it, and those of us who have don’t feel it every time. The stars, your body chemistry, and the moment have to align just right. What I do know is that the more you stress and worry over it, the less likely it is to happen.
"Scening" to get into subspace can be a recipe for disaster. The point is to do something that feels good, makes you want more, or gives you something that you need. Subspace is an extra layer of icing on an already delicious kinky cake. And while a good portion of the response is physical — endorphins, dopamine, and all that — for some, there’s definitely an emotional component.
Dom or Top Space
Not to leave out Dominants, Dom space (or Top space) is also a legitimate thing. Like subspace, it shouldn’t be the goal or the point, and you can’t predict it. John Brownstone describes it as a hyperawareness and absolute focus on the moment, me, and what he’s doing. More so than normal.
Like subspace, it’s caused by a chemical reaction in the body and brain. When it happens, John Brownstone is wired for the rest of the night and crashes the next day, absolutely exhausted. Why? Because what goes up must come down.
Panic or Fear
Not all BDSM scenes go as planned, and we don’t always have the reaction we think we will — Dom or sub. It’s not unusual to start a scene, do something, and safeword, panic, or feel like you can’t handle it. The most important part of this moment is that your partner stops all play. (Yes, it can happen to a Dominant too, and yes, a submissive needs to respect the needs of their partner.)
Why it happens depends on so many factors. Did you hit a boundary or hard limit you didn’t know you had? Do you have anxiety or suffer from panic attacks? Was it a bad tape or a trigger from another time? You don’t even have to know why it happened. It’s still a valid response and no, you’re not broken or wrong.
Are these every single reaction someone could have in a scene or during kinky fuckery? Of course not. Will you experience all or any of them in your own scene? Not necessarily. But it’s also important to know that it can happen so that when it does, you don’t think there’s something wrong with you.
KAYLA LORDS~
*Archive
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3 AM Thoughts
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Posted:Jun 8, 2023 12:14 am
Last Updated:Mar 25, 2024 4:55 am 11889 Views
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The intimacy of... Eye contact. Smirks across a crowded room. Raised eyebrows. Knowing glances. Witty banter. "I heard this song and thought of you." The sides of legs accidentally touching in the backseat. Dancing in front of strangers. Playful teasing. "I saved you a seat." Comfortable silences. Quiet time. Falling asleep together on the couch. "I'm so sorry." Hope. The little things. Inside jokes. Appreciation. Mutual trust. "You're my best friend." Crying in the car alone at a red light. Heart-to-hearts in dive bar bathrooms. Giving the benefit of the doubt. Giving a second chance. Giving in to a deep laugh. "I was literally just about to call you, too." Sharing books with your scribbles and notes throughout the margins. Losing your footing. "I never told another person that before." First hugs. A kiss you know will be your last. "I understand." A sense of safety. A feeling of alignment. Just knowing someone is here to stay, even though you have no real evidence for thinking so. Believing they will anyway.
— Molly Burford
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When Did Loud, Obnoxious, And Cocky Become Signs Of Dominance?
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Posted:Jun 4, 2023 2:15 am
Last Updated:May 1, 2024 7:59 am 13157 Views
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There is a story told about Theodore Roosevelt when he was president. Some of you may not know that TR was a hunter and he had heard that a famous big game hunter was in Washington DC so he sent a note saying that he would like to meet him. So the hunter arrives at the White House and is ushered into a meeting with the President. An hour and a half later, the hunter emerges from TR’s office, appearing to be in a state of disorder, and one of the president’s aides approached the man to ask what he might have said to have angered his boss. The hunter looked at the aide and said, “I just told him my name”. One of TR’s traits, for better or worse, is that he could talk, loved to do it, and once he started on a roll he was going to go until he finished. It was not that the hunter had done or said anything that had caused anger or upset, he was just on the receiving end of Theodore Roosevelt being himself.
Now this story is completely unrelated to the wizarding world of D/S but it does relate to the way that some who identify as dominants cannot seemingly close their mouths and listen.
They always must control the conversation and they talk for no other apparent reason other than to hear themselves talk and we cannot forget their favorite subject to talk about, them. What is even worse, some newer submissives expect D-types to loud, obnoxious, and cocky. So here are six reasons dominants need to sit down, shut up, listen, and retain what they have heard and why submissives should steer clear of those who refuse to listen.
Even though the d-type leads the relationship, it is still a partnership however if your partner is not fulfilled they are not going to be a partner for long. The only way a dominant can make sure their submissive is happy is by listening.
You learn more from listening than you ever do from talking. Part of being a submissive’s leader is understanding them and their needs, desires, and dreams intimately which cannot happen if a person does not ask and then listen carefully when the s-type answers.
Here is what is sure to be a shocker for the online dumbinants, a D/S relationship is not about you, and ready for that big shocker? The submissive has 100% of the power in the relationship 100% of the time because with a little two-letter word they can stop anything and everything. Just in case someone reading this has not figured out the word yet, it is no.
Speaking of no and revoking consent, according to the National Coalition For Sexual Freedom one in five people have their consent violated within their first five years involved in the lifestyle. Submissives, if a d-type will not listen to you over dinner, what makes you think they will listen during play when you say your safeword?
In the lifestyle, there are so many myths as to what a dominant needs to be or should be that over the years many newer d-types, especially men, who rather than be themselves and show their insecurities, which all of us have, try to fake it until they make it. This faking often shows itself by the d-type acting as though they must ride roughshod and talk, talk, talk rather than have an actual conversation with active listening.
The final point is sharing some of the traits of your friendly, neighborhood narcissist. While it is true that our not-so-loveable or neighborly narcissists will indeed crave to talk about themselves and their greatness, do not interrupt them, but not all big talkers are nincompoop narcissists. So in addition to the love of talking about the most amazing person in their life, themselves, narcissists will display a lack of or total void of empathy. Their life is based on the one true way of doing everything, which is their way. Do not worry, they will correct the error of your ways in just a moment. They are the embodiment of the difference between being in control and controlling plus they are perfect because their mistakes are the fault of others. Do not fret because it will not be long before you are the reason they made a boo-boo. They cannot understand a relationship as a partnership because they are unable to accept a partner, only those who wish to do exactly as they demand when they demand it.
There is not a darn thing wrong if you are a person who tends to talk a lot, talk often, or even if you are a loud talker. A quick, cautionary note, be careful where/when you talk about BDSM if you want your involvement to not be widely known because a voice that carries can transport discreet news to ears connected to tongues that gossip. Everyone has unique communication traits and skills but within D/S some dominants need to take a zip-it-and-listen pill. Shiny thing moment, we have pills that can give a guy a rock-hard baloney pony but not one for curing failure to listen? D-types need to hear and listen to others, especially their s-types. Finally, submissives when you encounter “Sir Talks-A-Lot”, please take note of the subtle clues to determine if you are being chatted up by someone who just loves to talk or if your ship is sailing perilously close to narcissistic nastiness.
What methods do suggest that may help someone become a better listener?
©TLK2023
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Life
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Posted:May 31, 2023 3:08 am
Last Updated:Apr 15, 2024 8:03 pm 12442 Views
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“We have multiplied our possessions but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. We’ve learned how to make a living but not a life. We’ve added years to life, not life to years.”
— George Carlin
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