To much to ask for?
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Posted:Jun 25, 2012 9:20 pm
Last Updated:Oct 16, 2013 10:20 pm 16459 Views
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My first blog, so please forgive me...
Why I'm here:
One thing I've noticed since I've been a member of Alt, is that no matter how weird/sick/depraved you think your desire/fetish/fantasy is, there is someone out there for you. The biggest problem is time and distance to make it happen.
My desire is to be a completely owned faggot closet slut. I say desire as opposed to fantasy because while I do fantasise about this, I really want it to become a reality.
Over the years I've played around the edges of homosexuality. I've given some hand jobs, blow jobs, and been fucked in the ass. Nothing serious, nothing long term, and long pauses in between adventures. The more I played around, the more I wanted/craved the experience of being controlled. No one I met would really take control of the situation, but the brief and small ocasions when it happened really excited me.
It's gotten to the point where the only way I can get off is to imaginine myself under the complete control of someone.
I've tried to meet someone on-line but it always either starts off with, or devolves into; "can I, will you, is it OK if, hey buddy, etc". I really don't want someone to be friends with, or drinking buddies or pals. I'd love to meet someone who is looking for someone to use and humiliate me for THEIR pleasure (and mine).
I've never been able to let myself go to be a true cum-slut/, because, truthfully; I've been to scared (even though it's all I can think about for the past few years). Also, it's not only the act of submission that turns me on, it's the humiliation of doing whatever I'm told without any ability to say no that really excites me.
Currently I'm back in my home state (PA). Moved back to help out with my parents. So, I'm once again surrounded by family. Honestly, they're all pretty close-minded (and a little racist), but they're still my family. I really don't want them to know what a faggot slut I really want to be. My job keeps me on the road anywhere from 2-3 weeks a month. I'm mostly in the midwest and Northeast, but an travel anywhere from coast to coast.
The ideal situation I would like to find myself in is:
Someone within an hour or so of WB/Scranton, PA to get some photos/film of me being the fag I am, along with my personnal info. Once there, using that info to completely take over my life and turning me out as a play thing for their amusement.
Some things that I've imagined (while maturbating) are:
-of course, being used on a reg basis by my new owner nd friends while near home
-when on the road for work, having anyone show up at my hotel to use me as they wish; either live on cam or not
-taking me dressed at an already arranged meeting at a truck stop, letting me out of the hour to walk to my use, then the "walk of shame" back to the car
-having access to my computer and any site I'm currently a member of to humilate me in any variety of ways I'm sure you can think of
But, most importantly of all, not letting my immediate family or friends know of the second life I'm leading. Unless of couse, I don't do as I'm told.
This may sound like fantasy or role-playing, but that's not what I want. I want to be completely used and controlled.
I know this wold have been easier if I came to these conclusions when I was young and good looking, but as it is; I'm 43, balding and somewhat overweight.
So I get back to my original supposition...
Is what I'm looking for here at Alt to much to ask for???
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My Traveling Blog
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Posted:Oct 14, 2012 1:58 pm
Last Updated:Jan 29, 2015 11:48 pm 15343 Views
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While I'm still looking for someone to turn me into their cum-dump , I am still traveling a lot for work. This provides a lot of opportunities to begin the process. I'll be posting my travel dates and locations as comments in this blog, just in case there's anyone near who would like a temporary to use.
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