Finding romance in the suds
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Posted:Nov 8, 2006 8:39 am
Last Updated:Oct 20, 2008 9:09 am 3752 Views
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I was reading koiffed_kitty's new profile (it's quite nice). She's a hairdresser and that reminded of the movie "The Hairdresser's Husband" (Le Mari de la coiffeuse). In case you're not familiar with it, here is the summary from IMDB:
Antoine, a little boy, falls in love with the local hairdresser, so he gets a hair cut every time he can. This situation causes some problems with his parents. However, when he grows up, he is still obsessed with the hair cutting, and one fine day he gets into a barber shop, meets the hairdresser (Mathilde), they fall in love at first sight, and begin a strange relation.
(IMDB link removed by Alt, for some odd reason.)
If you like European movies, you can deal with subtitles, and you have a touch of the romantic in you, see it right away. I can't stand barber shops or beauty parlors and getting my hair cut is just one notch above going to the dentist but I still like this movie. I don't even like traditionally romantic movies but I still like this movie.
Two conclusions: First, I recommend "The Hairdresser's Husband" for the romantic types. Second, if koiffed_kitty was my hair stylist I would be getting my hair cut more often. There you have it.
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Saddle up, Secretary
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Posted:Sep 19, 2006 9:26 pm
Last Updated:Oct 20, 2008 9:09 am 4007 Views
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I was talking with someone (emailing, really) about books and movies that included BDSM themes. She mentioned The Secretary and I replied by describing the scene where the lead character (her, the secretary, played by Maggie G.) is on her hands and knees, wearing a saddle and a bridle. The scene only lasts a few seconds; just long enough to show her position and what she is wearing before the other lead character (him, the boss, played by James S.) puts a carrot between her teeth and she bites down on it. Cut to the next scene. (At least, that is my recollection of the scene. In any case, it's hot.)
She was surprised and delighted that I had seen the movie. I was surprised that she was surprised! I figured that anyone who liked BDSM -- even anyone who was curious about BDSM -- would have seen Secretary at least once. Highly recommended.
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How to know
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Posted:Sep 13, 2006 7:48 am
Last Updated:Oct 20, 2008 9:10 am 4104 Views
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It's the Goldilocks scenario: Not too little, not too much, but just right. He's got an edge on him but he's not some out-of-control psycho. This could be the beginning of something good.
Okay, so you found a guy who does the things to you that you need done: The direct gaze (taking you in, as you are), the straight talk (expecting obedience without demanding it), the rough treatment (in the right proportion), the soft treatment (teasing until you beg), the unexpected mixture and everything in-between.
But one thing nags at you. Does he do it because he wants to or does he do it because he thinks you want it? Of course you want it, but that's not the point. You want him to do what he wants to do, to mean what he does, without regard for how you feel about it. Like any other person you want the things you want. But you would rather have him do something you don't want than do what you want simply because you want it.
How to know?
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Once more, to the well
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Posted:Jul 27, 2006 11:33 pm
Last Updated:Jul 27, 2008 8:53 am 3820 Views
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Twenty more songes that I've listened to death and really should remove from the play list.
1. Against the Wind Bob Seger
2. Auld Lang Syne Dan-Air Scottish Pipe Band
3. Cupid Sam Cooke
4. Dio Tenacious D
5. The Boys of Summer DJ Sammy
6. Crimson and Clover Joan Jett and the Blackhearts
7. Down on the Corner Creedence Clearwater Revival
8. Dreaming of the Queen Pet Shop Boys
9. Earth Angel (You Will Be Mine) The Penguins
10. Elisir Paolo Conte
11. Fantasy Earth, Wind and Fire
12. The Greatest Love of All George Benson
13. Girls Death in Vegas
14. Kung Fu Fighting Carl Douglas
15. Mandy Barry Manilow
16. Only happy when it rains Garbage
17. Shakin' Eddie Money
18. Surfer Girl The Beach Boys
19. Take it Off The Donnas
20. Ten Commandments of Love Harvey and the Moonglows
Just a few random comments, now that I'm looking at this list and listening to the songs yet again. First, Paulo Conte. What the heck is up with this guy? How can he get away with lyrics like this?
It's wonderful, it's wonderful, it's wonderful,
Good luck my babe, it's wonderful,
It's wonderful, it's wonderful, I dream of you ...
Chips, chips, da - du - du - du - du
He's a genius. And an idiot. "Chips, chips"? WTF? This is ridiculous. It works, I admit. Still, it's too much. Has he no shame?
Second, who came up with "Harvey and the Moonglows". I mean, the moonglows part is pretty fresh but why would you pair that with Harvey. Maybe they were going for that ironic contrast? I'm guessing they actually just thought it was cool and went with it. Remember, this was a while ago. Back then you could still get away with a song that mentioned the ten commandments!
Third, this might be the best lyric ever written about bad Chinese martial arts movies.
There was funky Billy Chin and little Sammy Chung
He said here comes the big boss, lets get it on
You think you can do better? Just go ahead and try it! In case you don't realize what you're up against here, I'll break it down for you.
Right from the beginning you've got the accurate but stereotyped Hong Kong Chinese names. Billy Chin? Plus you get the '70s cliche action with "let's get it on". Finally, in case you're worried about not getting your Money's worth on this one, you also get the authentic Kung Fu yell in the middle of the second line, "hua hua". No reason for it, really, it's just thrown in there.
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Always on my Mind
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Posted:Jul 27, 2006 10:52 pm
Last Updated:Jul 27, 2008 8:53 am 3733 Views
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Little things I should have said and done,
I just never took the time.
You were always on my mind,
You are always on my mind.
I love the way the chorus alternates from past tense to present tense. Nice touch.
But which version? Elvis, Willie, Pet Shoppers, DJ Quicksilver? I prefer the DJ Quicksilver version when I'm doing something else and just want background music. It's much faster. If I'm really paying attention to it, then I'd have to go with Willie. I'm not usually big on Willie, but this one really works for him. I usually like the 'Shoppers but not this one.
Maybe I didnt hold you,
All those lonely, lonely times.
And I guess I never told you,
Im so happy that youre mine.
If I make you feel second best,
Girl, Im sorry I was blind.
You were always on my mind.
You were always on my mind.
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Oh, you mean mugi-cha?
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Posted:Jul 27, 2006 10:35 pm
Last Updated:Jul 27, 2008 8:53 am 3863 Views
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I had arranged to meet a friend of mine for breakfast on Sunday. A few days before we planned to get together, she called to explain that some friends were in town. Would it be okay with me if they joined us for breakfast? Sure. No problem, see you then.
So the friends turn out to be a Japanese couple. The husband works for a big Japanese company and he's been assigned to the United States for a year. He speaks English well enough since he attended graduate school in California. His wife is a bit shy but her English is improving rapidly and she's taking the whole thing well. We have a good time talking about all the places they should go and things they should see. Great.
Later that day my friend calls me back. The Japanese couple had a great time and they enjoyed breakfast. Great, I had fun too. They want to take us to their favorite Chinese food place. Can we meet them there on Wednesday? Sure. Oh, one more thing: They have two and might not be able to find a baby sitter this time. Is that okay? Sure, it's fine with me. See you then.
So we meet for dinner. The Chinese place is pretty good and the wife is more relaxed this time. Maybe she was stressed about leaving her young with someone else? I notice that she's giving the a bottle but it looks like the bottle has tea in it. That's a strange choice, especially this late at night. So I ask, What is in the bottle?
She composes herself for a moment and then starts explaining that it is tea, but not tea made from ordinary tea leaves. Rather, this tea is made from wheat and doesn't have any caffeine. Oh, you mean Mugi-cha? Her jaw drops and she looks really deflated. Do you know mugi-cha? Sure I know mugi-cha! It's great stuff.
She's really not happy. Did I say something to offend? I look over to the husband, who is desperately trying to keep from laughing out loud. He's turning red and holding his hand over his mouth. Finally, he can't take it any more and he busts out laughing. His wife gives him a look but she starts smiling too.
The husband explains: She thought you might ask about the bottle so she looked up mugi-cha in the Japanese-English dictionary and got the translation. She's been practicing her explanation all afternoon. I had to listen to it several times. It's not regular tea, it's made with wheat. You don't use boiling water, you just make it at room temperature. And she kept repeating it and she made me listen to her, over and over.
Ah, well. It's hard to spend even one summer in Japan and not learn about mugi-cha. Sorry about that.
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Nostalgic for the future
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Posted:Jul 26, 2006 7:04 pm
Last Updated:Jul 27, 2008 8:53 am 3815 Views
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Most people agree that 2001: A Space Odyssey was an important movie, even if they don't actually like it themselves. I actually liked it, but that might be because I cheated and read the book too. I especially enjoyed some choice bits of dialogue between the key characters.
Dave Bowman Open the pod bay doors, HAL.
HAL I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that.
Dave Bowman What's the problem?
HAL I think you know what the problem is just as well as I do.
Just before this conversation HAL eliminated the other members of the crew. Just after this conversation HAL tries his best to eliminate Dave. You can't blame him: Dave was previously consipiring with Frank (another crewmember) to decomission HAL. HAL is pretty upset about it.
As if liking 2001 wasn't bad enough, I also liked the sequel, 2010: The Year We Make Contact. The story wasn't nearly as good but the dialogue was even better.
Check out this bit between Dave Bowman, who is officially dead and actually transformed into the Starchild. You might remember that transformation from the end of 2001 when he's lounging around in an ornate bedroom and every time the camera angle changes he's aged about ten years. But I digress. Here is the bit:
Dave Bowman You see, something's going to happen. You must leave.
Heywood Floyd What? What's going to happen?
Dave Bowman Something... something wonderful.
Heywood Floyd What?
Dave Bowman I understand how you feel. You see, it's all very clear to me now. The whole thing. It's wonderful.
I just love Dave's description of what's going to happen and the calm way he delivers this line. It's especially funny considering all that he's been through. After all, HAL tried really hard to kill the poor guy, after eliminating all of this fellow crewmen. Then he got a cosmic roller coaster ride to some far-away solar system where some really advanced aliens extracted his personality and memories from his physical body and placed into a new, spiritual form. (The roller coaster part is where everyone likes to be stoned while they're watching.)
Then, as if that wasn't enough, he got sent back to our solar system to try and calm down an Earth on the brink of war. And that was just in 2001! Now he's as cool as a cucumber. No wonder the NASA types chose him for a deep space mission. Grace under fire and all that. Now, in 2010, those wacky aliens are about to remodel the solar system and Dave has to get the locals out of the way for their own good. (It's almost like someone is about to build a flyover and they need to bulldoze your house to make room. That, or the Vogons want to build a hyperspatial bypass and need to clear out your planetary system to make room. Take your pick.) Jupiter is about to be reduced to a small Sun to support newly discovered life forms on one of it's moons, Europa, and all Dave let's slip is that "something wonderful" is going to happen.
Once the humans are safely on their way, Dave decides to rescue HAL too. Why not? HAL's reformed now. So here is the dialogue between the ghostly post-human and the artificially intelligent (and sometimes homicidal but newly reformed) computer:
HAL What is going to happen?
Dave Something wonderful.
HAL I'm afraid.
Dave Don't be. We'll be together.
HAL Where will we be?
Dave Where I am now.
Again with the "something wonderful"! His soothing explanation to HAL is also a piece of genius. It's not like HAL has any choice in the matter, so he goes along with it.
Okay, here is my all-time, favorite bit from 2010 (and this time, I mean it). Chandra is working with SAL, a copy of HAL, on a scheme to fix the broken HAL. This dialogue shows both the power and the strangeness of SAL's intelligence, at least from our perspective.
Chandra Now please open a new file -- here is he name. (using the keyboard input, Chandra types out: PHOENIX) Do you know what that is?
SAL (with no discernable pause) There are twenty-five references in the current encyclopedia.
Chandra Which one do you think is relevant?
SAL The tutor of Achilles?
Chandra Interesting. I didn't know that one. Try again.
SAL A fabulous bird, reborn from the ashes of its earlier life.
Chandra Excellent. Now do you understand why I chose it?
SAL Because you hope that HAL can be reactivated.
Yep. That's pretty cool.
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Heaven is a Place
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Posted:Jul 17, 2006 6:47 pm
Last Updated:Jul 27, 2008 8:53 am 3877 Views
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The band in heaven,
They play my favorite song.
Play it once again,
Play it all night long.
What a great song. I just love the idea that to capture heaven, everything has to be static. That is, to sustain that perfect moment when you're absolutely happy and everything is right with your existance (I almost said with your life, but it's too late for that!) you need to freeze time and not let anything change. After all, that is your perfect moment. Any other moment would be, by definition, not quite as good. So any change, any movement or rearrangement, would be less perfect. To maintain your perfect moment, nothing can change.
For this person, the narrator of the song, the perfect moment is hanging in a bar with his favorite band on stage. Furthermore, the band is playing his favorite song. And when they're done playing it, they just start right back up again. Never mind that he might feel let down a bit at the end of the song, or that some parts of the song might be better than others. You've got to give the artist some slack here. Don't be too picky with the interpretation. The point it, this guy likes this band and the best possible thing that he can think of doing with his time is listening to them play his favorite song.
It's also funny to think of this endless cycle preventing anything else from ever happening in heaven.
Heaven is a place.
A place where nothing,
Nothing ever happens.
Even the narrator is having trouble with this idea. He can't believe that a place where nothing happens -- in the sense that the current moment doesn't ever develop into a next moment that follows from the circumstances of the current moment, nothing ever reaches a conclusion, no tension is ever built up and then released -- can really be so great. He knows it's great becuase he chose this situation, but he still can't get over the idea of nothing being this fantastic.
It's hard to imagine,
That nothing at all,
Could be so exciting,
Could be so much fun.
I envy the narrator. He knows exactly what his happiest moment is and it's easy for him to describe it simply and completely. I have lots and lots of happy moments in my life, and more keep coming my way, but I'd be hard pressed to describe just one thing that I would pick over everything else. I'd be even harder pressed to describe it this succinctly, as you've probably guessed by now (if you even made it this far).
And then, just when I think I've really identified with the narrator's feelings, he comes out of left field with this bit about an endless, repeating kiss. Don't get me wrong, I like bands and I like songs, but I'll trade listening to a band for kissing a really great kisser. Any day. There is just nothing like it. It's about the most personal contact you can have with another person, the most intimate sharing, the most direct route to transmit how you feel about her directly into her physical body. It's a way to convert feelings into physical contact and back again. When you're both kissing for all you're worth you can feel the feedback: Her reaction feeding on and encouraging yours, and back again from you to her.
When this kiss is over,
We will start all over again.
It will not be any different.
It will be exactly the same.
What a great idea. Great song too.
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The perverted genius of Angel Kitty
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Posted:Jul 4, 2006 12:40 pm
Last Updated:Jul 27, 2008 8:53 am 3961 Views
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Okay, just when you thought that you had seen everything and it was your fate to be a jaded, "been there, seen that" type of pervert, along comes some perverted genius with something new. Or maybe it's not so new but it just struck me in the right way, at the right time. Who knows. Whatever the case may be, I think it's simply brilliant.
How to explain it? I don't think I can but I'll give it a try. First, the costume shows the usual Japanese flair for cute humiliation. You've got the maid's outfit in black latex with pink lace trim and the white silk apron. They don't show up in this particular picture but the costume also includes long gloves. The crazy pink bow tie does make an appearance in this picture, as does the cat ears. The cat ears! Holy Mary, Mother of God! I'm not even religious and I'm moved to blasphemy by the tremendously appealing and subtly demeaning quality of the silly headgear.
Second, they've made a keyboard of latex and sewn it to the bodice. A working keyboard! This is the most fantastic USB accessory ever. With your cute subbie wearing this getup you can type up a storm while paying attention to her, at the same time. I'm beside myself with admiration for the person who thought of this.
Third, they pose the model lying on a working desk with a monitor behind her the mouse cord draped across her apron. Never mind that the keyboard is positioned all wrong for typing (more on that, later). Just look at the smile on her face. She's going to a get a good typing and she's going to enjoy it!
Okay, enough of that. I'm sure my enthusiasm is wearing you down by now, dear reader, so I'll try to restrain the hyperbole a bit. There are a few downsides to this creation. None in the conception, but a few in the execution.
I would have positioned the model kneeling in front of the desk, with her back arched and her head resting on the desk, just below the monitor. With her chest at the right angle you would have a fighting chance of typing something.
You might get some work done that way; I wouldn't stand a chance. I'd get about misspelled sentence or two into a masterpiece, then start thinking how cute my subbie looked in this getup, lost my self-control, and leave off typing to molest her.
And the mouse! How could they have passed up such an obvious move? I would have incorporated the mouse into an integrated track-ball/ball-gag that would keep her quiet and meet all my important positioning needs. That would be a marvelous addition to this ensemble.
While we're at it, I could use a pair of small speakers in the mouse ears and a respectable sub-woofer in the undies. I know the picture doesn't show the underpants that come with this getup, but I assure they're a pink-and-frilly horror show with lots of ruffles that could easily house the unit I have in mind. The sub-woofer should produce a nice, deep vibration in just the right spot.
I'm sure there are lots of other improvements I could make to this costume, but I think you get the idea. I'm filled with admiration for whoever came up with this outfit. Nicely done.
(Link to Angel Kitty removed. Someone, or some script, on the Alt side keeps modifying it and the result is not a valid URL.)
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