moving to fetlife
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Posted:Nov 2, 2011 7:42 am
Last Updated:Dec 30, 2011 5:59 pm 17923 Views
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For those who have been so nice, I want to let you know I am letting my gold membership lapse, and migrating to fetlife. Alt is flawed and the features are simply old. Fetlife is different, more modern, and displays pictures and video accurately.
The final straw here on alt was video rejection for no reason whatsoever. I will not pay for bad service.
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Pierced Ear Display
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Posted:Dec 5, 2010 12:12 pm
Last Updated:Dec 30, 2011 5:59 pm 18690 Views
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Clearly only those of a certain esoteric taste take interest in these postings, and to them I say thank you and I hope you haven't given up on me.
Here on alt, I've not found many enthusiasts for multiple ear piercings. Still, I want to display a recent image or two, and hope that one or two others will feel some pleasure in the viewing.
I've a lot of posting to catch up on, and will do so as best I can.
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pierced and plucked
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Posted:Nov 7, 2009 10:28 am
Last Updated:Jul 2, 2011 9:26 am 17159 Views
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My postings have diminished over the past 6 months, I know. My inspirational levels have been low. Still, there are those few here who will add a comment or two, and I appreciate them.
I offer this picture. It is an image of how I always want to look. I can only hope it is not offensive to anyone predisposed to browsing my blog.
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fading
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Posted:Oct 3, 2009 11:19 am
Last Updated:Jul 9, 2011 3:11 pm 17245 Views
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Given the fading interest in my profile, I plan on letting my membership lapse. If there's anyone out there who cares, we can probably arrange continued contact.
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core thoughts ...
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Posted:Jan 22, 2009 8:07 am
Last Updated:Oct 21, 2010 8:23 am 17133 Views
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I seek to share the experience of the sessions, but my words must be uninteresting. I suppose this is in effect merely a personal journal.
Rebecca is a coworker. She clearly enjoys her control over me, but she schedules our sessions in 4 to 6 week intervals. For her, I am an entertaining diversion, a time for her to torture a helpless feminine slave while sipping expensive white wine.
I want to be feminine at all times, in all ways. Like so many submissives, I wish to be under the dominion of ownership, to be held in captivity with no option of release. To be permanently collared, and altered. The desire has grown within me over the past year. The likelihood of this happening is mathematically zero. Never will I be what I want to be.
8 billion humans on the planet. How many get to be what they want to be? How many even have an opportunity to think about it?
I took the COGIATI Gender Dysphoria test. What a suprise, I am probably a transgender.
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New Year's Evolution
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Posted:Jan 14, 2009 8:02 am
Last Updated:Feb 21, 2009 9:05 am 17469 Views
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'You've met the criteria', she says. She taps her ruby nails along the multiple piercings in each of my ears. 'I specified 20 pieces of hardware per each side. I count 22. I see you fit 4 around the canal. For your superb effort, you will receive special attention.'
Her thick, meter long French braid swings stunningly as she moves around me. I am as always mesmerized, unable to take my eyes from it.
'Of course my hair commands your attention', she states. 'A girl's hair means everything to her. That's why I insist yours be so thick and long. It weighs a kilogram at least. In fact, we'd better cinch your collar a bit so that your heavy hair can't pull your head down.'
I feel her notching my leather collar tighter around my neck. I can no longer move my head in any direction. Although I can breath, I am near the edge of choking. I am unable to suppress a muffled gasp through my deep and complete gag.
'Did you say 'mmmphhhh'?', she mockingly chuckles. 'You sound like a meek little school girl. We can go a tick or two tighter. We must be sure your neckline is slender, after all.'
The collar narrows further. A suppressed feminine noise seems to arise from my throat. I squirm spontaneously, barely able to move within the extreme bindings and cinched corset. I am overcome by a deep feeling of helpless suffocation.
'Relax', she commands. 'You are my toy, and I decide what you can tolerate.'
Her firm contralto enwraps me. I am her feminine plaything, nothing more. Completely accepting this fact, my only sense of self is that I am a woman who is owned by Her.
'That's my girl', she murmurs. 'Now, let's get those nipples clamped.'
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at my core - a love for feminine hair
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Posted:Dec 6, 2008 9:49 am
Last Updated:Oct 10, 2010 9:32 am 17299 Views
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My complete adoration of beautiful hair has been a part of me since early childhood. Always, my femininity has included as girlish a coif as I could muster. Pretty hair on a girl demands my attention above most other physical attributes.
When I was a very young , my hair was long and blonde. My original self-image was thus girlish. As a 4 year old, I remember loving to touch my baby sitter's thick blonde locks and then later looking in the mirror and caressing my own.
One day, we were watching the 'Sky King Show' on the black and white television. The cute young lead female, Penny, had been kidnapped. She was securely bound and gagged, alone in a chair. Her struggles were convincing, with her blonde ponytail swinging to and fro. She moaned and writhed. I was smitten. That was me. That is me.
Thus awareness of my gender identity began. From then on, I knew I wanted to be a girl. Struggling, helpless in bondage, mouth stuffed full, beautiful hair flowing - this struck a chord deep within me.
How do we view an individual's sexual evolution? One can say it's simple - you were imprinted to identify as Penny at a key phase in your sexual development. But why that identity? Why not Penny's rescuer? Or any number of other available models?
It felt as if there was no choice to be made. This was me, no thought to the contrary occurred. Throughout my sexual development, this caused difficulties. I struggled, as do many. We are out of the mainstream. But that is a topic for another time.
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thoughts about profiles and webcams ...
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Posted:Nov 1, 2008 4:31 pm
Last Updated:Feb 21, 2009 9:06 am 18330 Views
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In this topic, I've a few rantings about member webcams. Repeating patterns and tendencies appear to provide some insight into the types of members here on alt, and perhaps the web in general.
Broadly, two types of members seem to dominate on the alt site: Real and Player.
Real members join the site seeking interaction with others who wish to share a genuine mutual interest in a way that positively benefits all involved. A Real profile proclaiming a gender or proclivity describes the actual truth beneath the claim. Oh, certainly there may be the occassional exaggeration regarding looks and experiences; we try to portray ourselves in the best possible light. As well, when confronted with a request or an opportunity, someone who is Real may become shy or afraid. However, neither the white lie about being slender nor the sudden withdrawal due to anxiety eliminates one from the ranks of the Real. The intent is still genuine and not a purposeful attempt to mislead.
A Player, on the other hand, is here to prey. A Player has no concern for mutual benificence; nor is such an individual prone to genuine portrayal of interests. A Player profile may in fact provide something superficially truthful; yet there will be an underpinning of lies beneath the words. A Player will often be seeking to meet 'generous' submissives. A Player will lie about gender proclivity. A Player will claim to be a Couple or a Female.
A Real member will post profile images of THEMSELVES. Yes, the face may be partially hidden. Some pictures may predominantly display a penis or a rectum or vagina; but the genitalia will at least provide a believable clue that it does belong to the Real member.
A Player's profile image will be non-existent, or worse, may be pictures they've stolen. There may be only a picture of a penis. Canned images of bondage paraphernalia seem popular. A Professional Player may actually post images from a commercial website which could be their own or one they've pirated.
Webcam broadcasts can confirm the Real and expose the Player. A few simple observations tell the story.
Professional Players will not play realtime for free. We don't expect those members to broadcast on alt. The exception would be a broadcast displaying a URL.
Profile Females who broadcast generally are Real.
Profile Males who broadcast their faces are usually Real. They may be aggressive and they may lie in an attempt to get sex, but for all that they are usually genuine in this pursuit.
Profile Couples are the most telling of the webcams. Ad hoc, I have observed that 90% of the broadcasts consist entirely of MALES. These are the Players.
A broadcast of a Couple should be just that, not of some guy trying to convince the viewer that his better half will be on camera soon. Sadly, these Players taint the broadcasts of the Couples who are Real.
Invariably, the best broadcasts on alt originate from the Transgender/Transvestite orientation. We do get penis-only whacking off imagery; no doubt Players are providing the lion's share of that content. Overall, a TG in the height of dress urgently wants to be on display. At that point, she is feeling as Real as she can be.
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thoughts about postings ...
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Posted:Oct 26, 2008 10:13 am
Last Updated:Oct 5, 2017 12:33 am 17565 Views
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I know that the topic is often posed, still I must expound on the plethora of pictures posting the male genitalia.
Certainly, I understand the hard core manly man profiles. 'I am MALE, I have a dick! I am so proud about its stiffness.' Even though I find our culture's obsession with the erect penis patently absurd, I think I comprehend it. The guy believes that the woman wants a good hard phallus for vaginal intercourse. No doubt this is so in many instances, and is perhaps the core to her satisfaction in these cases.
Thus, this burly dude's profile of nothing but dick pics would be akin to a female posting only vagina and breast images.
However, I often puzzle over the alleged Transvestite profiles that prominently focus on the penis. The profile rambles on about loving all things feminine, but there it is - pictures of their dick.
Maybe I'm not picking up on some code word. Is a 'crossdresser' proud of his dick, while a 'transvestite' will go to great lengths to diminish hers? Am I wrong in thinking that a mtf 'transexual' would prefer not having a penis at all?
I suppose my thoughts about this revolve around understanding myself and where I may fit in. Perhaps there is no typical gender-identifiable group for me.
I do NOT like the penis. It is a thing to be minimized and never shown in erect fashion. On feminine genders, it should be invisible, encased in as tiny a state as possible.
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symbols of servitude ...
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Posted:Mar 8, 2008 9:59 am
Last Updated:Dec 5, 2010 1:00 pm 17234 Views
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The deep tingling is a constant reminder. 'This month,' she said, 'we will install one stud each day.'
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