THE MAJOR ADDICTION OF MIDDLE GIRL
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Posted:Mar 14, 2012 7:33 am
Last Updated:Apr 29, 2014 9:37 am 36766 Views
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My Dearest Alpha/Love/Daddy,
I really do not know what to do with all the confusing thoughts and feelings I am having. I know without a shadow of doubt that I love YOU. You see my Darling I have to because You are my addiction. But do You love me as You claim to? Or am I just the same same lil scared naive girl so desperate for just a morsal of Your affection? Yes, You do claim to love me, and when W/we are together there is no (ok not many) doubt. And when W/we are together You tell me all the things I so loningly want to hear. But even then I see the signs of the game sighing. Still I cling to You, because You are my addiction. Do I not see the scences that start sometimes as early as 20 minutes after I log off? Oh yes, I have read them each and everyone just shaking my head, desperatly trying not to beleive what a fool I am yet again. I ask my self over and over again did you learn nothing playing second fiddle to Art and then to Key? Yet still I can not walk away, because You my Darling are my addiction. I know I swore after Key I would never play second fiddle ever again, but here I am once again a member of the band not even sure on some days if I am sixth or seventh fiddle much less second fiddle. But can I turn and walk away, no because You my Darling are my addiction.
Do I try to be the sister that Your number one claimed me as?
Oh yes with every single waking step. For what to be totally ignored when she walks into a room? Yet You go on promiseing that one day W/we will be a R/T F/family and she is just being cautious or her behavior is weird.
So I will once again cry myself to sleep. Only to wake to the morning light and run to log on once agin painting on the smile that shines so bright. I will smiles so brite and bite back all the snide remarks, for after all I am Daddy's life and would not dream of acting any other way. I will not pout nor fuss when slighted by Your true one I will just smile brite and say to my self she is just being cautious. I will not read anything into the scenes I read. I will just know that once again I have failed You because I was not there to fill that need for You. Never a tear nor a pout as I watch my life falling apart, wondedering who I will be today; babygirl, omega love ,life, or simply some other pet name tha draws me closer to You as You are my addiction.
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My First Writing Assingment for Daddy "niceguyonce"
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Posted:May 9, 2012 8:13 pm
Last Updated:Jun 17, 2013 3:58 pm 35947 Views
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Daddy is off for the weekend !! And there is a munch scheduled for Saturday night. Daddy has been teasing baby girl all week because he knows she is very nervous as this is her very first munch. He comes in and ask how has my baby girl been all week? I have been lonely and missing you Daddy I say to him. Is my baby girl ready for her first munch tomorrow? Well sorta I hesitantly say as you hear the nervous in my voice. You take me in your arms and ask me just who do you belong to baby girl?
Well you of course Daddy I innocently say. As you nod your head in agreement. Now what are you to me baby girl? I am your nasty baby girl your play toy your confident your most prized position Daddy. This is correct baby girl now do you actually think I would ever allow harm to come to you?
Well I guess if you put it that way Daddy no you would not. Are your limits gonna be tested tomorrow?
Of course they are baby girl, but I will be beside you all night long and nothing is going to happen to you that I do not allow to happen to my baby girl.
We go about our night then, loving and pleasing each other. I ask for the ropes on my hands and you tell me no. I look at you questioningly but you just shake your head not tonight baby girl. We get up the next morning and do all the Daddy is home for the weekend chores, such as stripping the sleeper and doing up all the laundry, grocery shopping , and we add in going and getting baby girl a outfit for her very first munch. It is a lil black mini skirt dress with silver hand cuffs as applicaes all over it and a pair of strapping black heels add to the attire is a black leather collar with a danity D ring in the front with a leash.. We come home from shopping and Daddy fires up the grill as I go into the kitchen and start to make a salad and put in the potatoes for dinner. I then go and run a bubble bath to start getting ready for the coming night out. We eat dinner and Daddy keeps a shit eating grin on his face as I pick at my food my nerves on edge now. We finish dinner and go and finish getting dressed and ready to go. As we get to the door to go to the car Daddy takes me in his arms and whispers in my ear you have always made me proud brat I expect no less from you tonight. I nod my reply of yes so nervous I am afraid I may lose it and beg to just stay home tonight, but knowing this means the world to Daddy I refrain and and find the strength deep down in me to get into the car as Daddy opens the door for me. Daddy gets in and starts the car and right before he put the car in reverse he caresses my thigh remember all that I and Uncle Bill have ever taught you about protacals baby girl and I will be with you always never forget that ..just remember do not use our normal safe word tonight but the one used with Bill before you became mine.
As we pull up to the place the munch is being held at and Daddy parks the car he turns and smiles a reassuring smile and slips the leash from his pocket attaching it to the collar. I look startled and unsettled for a moment but he softly murmurs as I get out of the car it is no different then when I slip my belt around you when we are at home you can do this baby or I would have never allowed for you to come tonight. Just never forget that you are my most prized possion and and you are very cherished my love. I give a small nod showing that I have heard and understand as I follow Daddy to the entrance. There is a is someone at the door greeting us and you give a small tug on the leash reminding me to kneel in greeting to the one at the door. He gives you our seating tickets and we proceed in finding our seat I take my place kneeling slightly behind you. As the first demonstration begins. I watch intently as the demonstrator starts to tie a girl up on the table. As he calls out the different knots and loops that he is using to tie her with. I give a small shiver as I see how helpless and bound she is and knowing that soon I will be placed on that same stage with much the same knots and loops attached to me. I start to think of how much control I will be giving away and what little escape I will truly have once those ropes go around me. I say a silent prayer. Lord please give me the strength to be able not to panic tonight. I know deep inside I will not be harmed but Lord I really need some strength. As the demonstrator releases the girl my stomach does a total flip flop as I know I a m next to be tied up. Lord Dracomis calls out priss it is now your turn. Daddy gets up from his seat and leads me up to the stage unhooking my leash as he goes and retakes his seat but still in eye sight of the table. Lord Dracomis proceeds to hog tie me to the table making what I feel are a million knots and loops all around my body .It is hard for me to breath I feel slightly panicky and think real hard of calling the safe word, but I turn my head to the crowd and see the look of pure pride on Daddy's face and it gives me the strength I need
to go on, so I take a deep breath and and finish what I started, knowing full well this is only the first of the demos that I will be a apart of tonight. As Lord Dracomis ties the very last knot I breath a sigh of relief and beam knowing that I have some how over come this and as long as I live I will not have to be afraid of not being able to run away from anything ever again. Lord Dracomis then unties me as Daddy come back up to the stage to get me once again clipping the leash to my collar. As we go back to our seats I go to kneel behind you, but instead you pull me onto your lap and have me sit there. As I watch them clear the stage and get ready for the next demonstrator you whisper in my ear very well done baby girl..and yes I saw the struggle....but I also saw when you overcame it with your mind and you will ever only be bond with bindings now my love never from fear you have grown much already tonight and I am very proud of you , are you ready n for the next demonstration baby girl? I look into your eyes and nod my yes glowing not only from your praise but the feeling of self confidence that in just a few moments I have over came more then years of therapy ever could.
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