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My Blog

Everything is connected with everything, everything is a form of energy

Fetish dispenser?
Posted:May 7, 2023 2:13 am
Last Updated:May 11, 2023 12:41 am
10667 Views

I dont know, if women act this way too.
Being a heterosexual woman.

I dont have to deal so much, and in thát way, with woman.

Men, a lot of men on here.
Be, or acting submissive or socalled 'dominant'....

All behave the same,
wanting a fetish dispenser.

They dont want to have to knów the other person.
Prefere NOT to know, anything about that other PERSON.

That messes with their mental image picture/ horny fantasy of how they want that dispenser/ domina / submissive to act, be.

In both cases, the women, have to act in a certain way
fitting their horny kinky fantasy.

If you, as a submissive woman, or dominant woman, dare to act
outside their little fantasy.

Those men, get nasty, beyond believe!!
Thén, you see their true colour!!
ALL RED FLAGS!! RED FLAGS OVERALL!

Demanding all kind of strange acts.

Dont give a damn if the other person has totall other desires.
wants and needs.

That murder the fantasy of those men, by being normal, wanting a normal conversation, first!

That is what makes those men upset beyond believe...
Submissives, and dominas, asking questions, have an oppinion, of their own! ?

The dispenser does not have to show any human trait, believes, private life...
MUST not show any human traits!!

They are only there, to fulfill the fantasys of those men,
when they want it, how they want it.

That they dont get anything out of that kind of behaviour?
Not the problem of those men!
No responsiblity, no care, no connection.

It is not mend to be, that this fetish dispenser has ideas of her own.

This is what dominas and submissives have to deal with, every single day,
being on sites like this.

My domina girlfriend is very offended by that behaviour

WTH do those men think! Anyway
To dare to treat "us" like that!!

Brainless egoistic, egocentric vanillas.
most of the time, with a lot of womens issues! hatred, maybe...

They dont LOVE women, for sure!
Or, even appreciate women......

Maybe they are even afraid of women...?

"We" are worthy, much more, then they will ever be able to understand.

For the men, who dó understand the nature of submissive women, or dominant women.

It is not about what you DO, but how you behave.

And, i have to admit, there are some couples, who function perfecty happy,
being each others fetish dispenser.
No human contact, no friendship.
just fulfill each others fetish, each others "role", if they are compatible..
Or not.

I cant get my head around that, at all.
I did see those people at partys... those couples.....
To me, it is all for the bunhe... for "the others"..... show off.... role....

I need that emotional contact, the connection, before anything else.
That is were the trust is growing.....

It all starts in the mind, brains.
Try to figure out, what makes her tick, what makes her happy, what makes hér....
Try to get into her brainwave, her set of mind, what is important for her,
in live, in living, her goals, her ....
What makes her, hér?

Boy, You have to invest?
time and energy?? in a domina??
Or, even worst, in a submissive??
Have to remember what she tells you?
Show real, genuine interest in the whole human being???
be connected??
Hell no!

It is all about HIS FANTASY!
Kneel!! you bitch!
Do as i tell you!

or, being A socalled male submissive?
You have to fullfill MY fantasies.
If i want to lick your feet, You let me!

Because it is ALL ABOUT MÉ, MÉ MÉ!
That you hate that someone touches your feet?
Too bad!

Are you out of your mind!!
They have to service mé! no matter what!!

Emotional cold, egoistic 10 year old boys in a adult body.
behaving that way, too, when they dont get their way!

Thát, is in essential, the behaviour of those special brand of vanilla men, on here....
10 Comments
My girlfriend, and i,
Posted:May 6, 2023 2:40 pm
Last Updated:May 9, 2023 12:00 pm
10758 Views

We talk about almost everything.
There is nothing taboo!

Even when it hurts a little bit.

So, we talked about fet and "the scene", for what ever that may mean.....

She was really very clear, about nog having any interest anymore,
in the whole scene
The munches, the parties, the men!
just not!

The way she talked about the men!
My, Oh, My!
That was no good!
If some men, could have listen in??
it would have crushed their little egos...

She talked about all the red flags, she almost always read in the messages she got.

Being a domina, you dont want to know, what kind of horror she sometimes get..
And, how nasty those men, become, in a second! when she rejects them.
Never read such a foul language! from socalled submisisive men!

We talked about that guy here, with his: "report yourself"/melde dich" act.
RED FLAG was all she shouted.
I laughed my tits off!!

I told her, relax!
You dont think i would fall for that kind of nonsense, dont you?
You must know me much better then that!

So, she too, is 'cured' - like so many women, are...
Just leaving "the scene', disgusted and disappointed, beyond believe...

Does not want to have anything to do, anymore, with 'submissive' men.
7 Comments
Gifts of nature,
Posted:May 6, 2023 1:49 pm
Last Updated:May 9, 2023 12:02 pm
8888 Views

It was a reasanel pretty day, this day.
I love my saterdays.
a bit shopping, the market,
visiting my best friend.

She was a bit depressed, tired, beyond believe...
I, ofcourse worried about her.
Because she allways have very, very,very! high standards, só high, it works against her....
Forget her own pace, room, space, time
Everybody else is always much more important then she is....

Thát, is not a bad trait, but if it is in the overdrive scale, it is no good.

So we talked abit, we even hugged, ( did not do that, since the corona haox)\
She was way too scared...to get other people sick or become sick herself
That is how she is.

While i think, everybody has her or his own responsiblity.
and have to carry that too.

Anyway.
Coming back home, i listened to my favorite radio programs
did some cooking.

And, when the twilght time came, i went outside
It was not really "warm"....
But i wanted to be outside.

There was a blackbird singing and singing, it was soo nice!
and then some wild cats came into my garden, did not see me
untill i moved, they ran like the devil was onto them
I always have to laugh about their reaction.

The blackbird keep singing and singing, it was great
My own personal concert!

Then, i saw the first star appear!
That was a great gift, too.
Some bats were flying around my shed....
An other gift....

I was getting a bit cold, and stiff from sitting so still for so long...
Hoping for more gifts...

Did not want to appear greedy, already having got soo many gifts...

And then, it happened.

There was this shade, moving against the other shades...
Already getting pretty dark.
It was a hedgehog!
My first hedgehog of the year!!

It drank out of the waterbowl for the birds.
I think it must have had some real great meal, because the snails are there again!
Everywhere!

I am thankfull for all those lovely gifts of nature....

It was a well spend evening outside.
9 Comments
DIY
Posted:May 6, 2023 7:18 am
Last Updated:May 7, 2023 1:33 am
7727 Views

I was working on my bike, there was something i needed to repair.
I needed some muscle power, to get in done.

And then, the item worked it self free and i heard my nose crack!
On some metal part of my bike......

My glasses were thrown off my face... It hurted like a real MF.
I inmediately put a cold cloth on my nose....
and keep repeating that action......

There is no blood, so i dont think my nose is broken, my nose is already crooked, so you cant tell, by the shape if it is broken.....
I can touch it, it does not hurt.. very much....

There is some swelling.. but not really very heavy.....

laconic about such injuries.... no panick at all.
it just is......
8 Comments
Do you all think i should do it? ;-)
Posted:May 5, 2023 2:00 pm
Last Updated:May 6, 2023 2:09 pm
7925 Views

This is a joke, i am totally not serious.
just playing around...

I had this message, it is for sure spring!
I have to report to this.... aah, well, just let me give him the honor to call him dominant.....
yawns....

Thats all, no introduction, nothing.
Just report yourself?

When i get that kind of messages, these always make me laugh out loud.

Maybe there are women , who fall for that kind of thing....?

I dont.
17 Comments
Remembering day, 2e WW
Posted:May 4, 2023 4:02 am
Last Updated:May 4, 2023 11:57 pm
7783 Views

4 May, we in Holland remember all the people who died, in the 2 WW.

Now, with all the struggle/ wars going on, some people also remember ALL the victums,
of ANY WAR, ANYWHERE.

I really appreciate that.

The whole day long, there are radio en tv programs going on.
People come together, to listen to stories about their survival in those horrible years.

I listen to the storys.
I only think, this should happen, all year round, once a month or something like that.

Those who survived that horrible war, and those death camps, slowly die....
And, with them, their personal stories....

And, tomorrow,
"we" are going to celebrate the end of the 2e WW.
With a lot of music, and, again, here, a lot of public drunks!

Puking in peoples gardens.... Out of controle... 😝🤔😡
Disgusting.
20 Comments
Subspace,
Posted:May 2, 2023 1:22 pm
Last Updated:May 4, 2023 1:58 pm
7336 Views

I did read a lot about subspace.
I thought i knew what to expect...
NOT.

It is what they say, or try to explain it...
it is like a runners high, or when you use those funny sigarets....
A high, with the possibility of a very deep drop, when you are not aware of it.

To handle that subdrop, you can practise selfcare
by drinking some sweet substance
Or some enery drink
Take some chocolate, that seems to be thé thing, to take.
Go to the gym, seems to work, for some, too...

Self care is very important,
even when the D type gives good after care.
Subdrop can also starts days after the session....

They say, never leave a session, without giving yourself the time to come down.
Because your mental state is altered.
It is possible that you have some sort of black out, while driving a car....

Staying in contact with your D type can make it easier to handle the subdrop.
Or being able to talk with other submissives, who know what to expect with subdrop, can be a good thing too.

It shook me, very deeply, this subspace thing.

Did not like one thing, about it.
(also, the aftercare sucked very badly)
I managed it, by myself.

The next time, i had a scene, with an other d type, i did not want to go into subspace, at all.
and i could controle that.
Thát felt very good.
he and i had some very good sessions, without subspace

It is not the end of it, at all.

I know, sometimes, some submissives make it some kind of game, to wánt to experience subspace.
As if you are not a good submissive, when you dont go/ cant get into subspace...

Thát is their only goal, to have to archieve thát.
As if that is the highest thing to archieve and maybe that is how that works, for them.

It is something i am not really interested in, to archieve.. again....

Also, in a healty contact, this is mostly the end of the session.
All depending on the level of trust and about what the two or more, did agree on.

A good dominant helps you to get down, in a safe way.
Takes good care of you..
And, if he has to leave, he stays in contact with you, keeps checking in on you.
support you, untill you can hande it yourself again.

Edge play can get you into subspace.
That does not mean, that you NEED the same amount of edge play, everytime again.

Thát is, in my eyes, not the goal at all.
That is not how it works, for me.
6 Comments
Men! Explain! Please!
Posted:May 2, 2023 12:08 pm
Last Updated:May 3, 2023 1:12 am
6827 Views

Woman are allowed to give their ideas too.

Sometimes, i really dont understand other peoples motivations for their behaviour.

As with my evil neighbours..
Why?
What is their inner motiivation, what kind of satisfaction do they get, out of being
just nasty, mean, sick fuck up people?

How can that be a motive for your life?
I just dont get that.

I mean, i dont care one thing, about what my neighbours do, or dont do
I hope they are happy and have a good life.

I dont care if they do the laundery only on monday or on sunday, or on any other day.
Who cares?
Or what ever else they do..

The same, with some men.
What do they think(?) to win, with being soo terrible lazy, to not put any effort in a conversation, for instance...
What?
Is their inner motivation, if they have any...?

Wo wants a lazy partner/ lover, anyway?

I dont!

As if being lazy is a real great trait?
Something, they can be proud of?

I really dont get that.
I, very much dislike lazy men.

A vanilla male friend, told me, that are 18 year old boys in a mens body.

They will never learn or grow and most probabebly have also a lot of womens issues.
Are not able to grow, to get used to a changing society, with changin expectations, in behaviour of men and women, alike..

I think, i have to agree with this friend.

Or, are they just vanillas who dont have any idea about the whole other rules/ structure of a D/s dynamic...?

Think, they can behave in the vanilla way, of trying to find a girlfriend...
to have some kinky fuckery?
And call that SM? or "the lifestyle"?
7 Comments
Traveling?
Posted:May 1, 2023 10:38 pm
Last Updated:May 3, 2023 12:59 am
5275 Views

Going to visit my sister, she celebrates her birthday, today.
it is a distance of 44, something, kilometers...

In a car you can do it, in 44 minutes....or something about that....

I, going by public transport, bus, will be on the road for 2! hours!!!
For crying out loud!!
I gonna see, every freaking village there is, between her place and mine!!

Aaarch!!!
I soo much dislike the country side.....
Patience, patience......

Bought some nice presents for my sister.
12 Comments
Family matters,
Posted:Apr 27, 2023 1:23 pm
Last Updated:May 2, 2023 11:46 am
5876 Views

Our aunt, who saved us, is very sick
She is getting more and more demented...
So much so, that it was not longer healthy and safe, for the family to let her stay in her house.

She was living on her own, in a house attached to the house of her and in law......
A very big farm house.
They call that kangaroo living... in the pouce of the family, in the close care of the family and still remain, some privacy... of their own....

Now, she is sort of living, in a care home.....

I visited her, last Tuesday...It broke my heart, to have to see her like that...

Some moments, she was really there, and enjoyed the fact that i visited her.
The next moment, she was almost in tears, because she did not understand why
she was in that house?
It felt like a punishment, of some sort....
So confused......

It was terrible to see her in such a state.....

When my daddy was getting more and more demented, he too,
went to such a care home.....

He too, did not understand why he was there......
Totally confused, telling me, they kept him there, he could not walk out, . he could not go away... i must not talk to loud, because they kept an eye on him....
So sad... so terrible.. so.

He was in the army, during the war in Indonesia... he never talked about that time....

In the end, i told him, that if he wanted to go, "be free" he just could go and die in his sleep.....

He got that message loud and clear.

Because this is my aunt, i cant tell her that, it is up to her to say something like that,
If she wants that....
I dont think, my niece is able to do that...

That moment, is totally about their happiness, not yours at all.

Sometimes family are selfish and dont want that family member, mother, to finish it here.
They want to keep them "alife", for them, not for the sick persons best interest....
And, i do understand that, too...

I can 'see' when they had enough, and need help... so to say...

My sister is also not well, she is showing signs of something going on in her brain....
I really dont know, how and what... some sort of disconnection going on..
.
I go visit her in a week or two and will see how she acts then...

How bad it really is, because i was messaging her, and her reactions were very strange,
just like she was typing to an other drummer, so to say...
Just off....
strange...
She never behaved like that before....

I have a heavy heart, it scares me to death, if my sister is losing it, too....
sighs... sad, very sad.. scary too....

And there is nothing i can do, to make it better....... or different, or.....?

Alt is telling me, i cant post this, because of war arms and god knows what kind of bullzhit they think of, this time...
10 Comments

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