I hit a brick wall
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Posted:Apr 20, 2024 12:01 am
Last Updated:Apr 22, 2024 11:18 am 12192 Views
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figuratively speaking, ofcourse,
My inspiration was all gone.
Been behind my sewing machine, way too long...
I was just empty.
So, some days off and now back on the job again.
The skirts are a bit of a challenge..
They both not fit the way i wanted to them up...
They look more like farmer working clothes, 
One is made in Peru, or so i am told, with all kind of very primitive embroidery,
i like that kind of embroidery.
I wont even start about the other skirt....
So, i hit a brick wall.
Slowly, slowly the machine is starting up again...
I need to go to this market stall and talk with the owner,
I think she will be able to help me out!
Cant stand it, when things like this happen.
So i have to leave it alone, dont mess with it now!
i will only make it worst!
So, i am onto an other sewing project!
Get into that flow again! 
Feels soo good!
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7
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A little collision
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Posted:Apr 19, 2024 12:36 pm
Last Updated:Apr 20, 2024 11:55 am 11231 Views
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As i was riding my bike, nothing going on, just on my way to the shops.
All of the sudden i am in a collision of some sort..
A bee flew right into my face, thank the goddess, i was wearing my glasses..
She was in shock too and took her sting out on me.
RIght in the middle of my lower lip.
It did hurt!
she was all wasted, breathing still, but not much else going on,
hanging onto my shawl....
We both looked at each other, i was a bit sad, she was going to die,
just because i was in her flight way....
So, i did put her to rest in a garden...
My lip still hurt like a real! YouKnowWhat!
So, i go to this shop and ask this man, the owner
if he can help me.
WIth this bee thing...
He just refused!
I was in shock!!
Huh?
What?
He is allways such a sour pussy!! Juck!
Now he just totally blew it with me!
He is gay and in hidding, married too..
he is sooo sour!! nasty piece of .....
So i went home, my lower lip still hurt terrible.
When i looked at it, at home, there was just this very small white spot..
I am alright, ofcourse.
Just a bit sad......
Poor bee.
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13
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Spring?
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Posted:Apr 11, 2024 11:49 am
Last Updated:Apr 19, 2024 12:25 pm 11999 Views
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Where>?
It is the wet season again!
it just doesnt seem to stop raining!!
Anyway, to pass the time,  i am sewing skirts for on the way.
i will be wearing bikershorts, (offcourse) so i will also be wearing skirts on top of that.
i dont like the look of those bikershorts, i want to hide them,
under some skirts.
I have been sewing two already and now i am in the process of finishing them.
I am also pimping them up, with all kind of lace and buttons, just for show!
So i have something nice to look at, while on the way..
It will look like some gipsy/ Ibiza style skirts...
want to sew a sheet bag for in my sleeping bag, i might be making two...
I need to level the soil in my garden, to make space for my tent...
see how that will go?
I am busy on all fronts, at the same time!
I love that!
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13
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I am upset,
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Posted:Apr 11, 2024 11:32 am
Last Updated:Apr 12, 2024 1:05 pm 11128 Views
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I asked my if she was willing and able, to buy me some piece, equipment to protect myself, on the road.
I told her, you can get your money back, that is no problem.
We talked a bit more about this specific equipment...
and if she had to be registered, when she buys it?
I really dont know.
Here in Holland, we have other laws about carrien those tools..
I dont want to use that one word...
All of the sudden, her partner is breaks into our conversation and is going all the way.
About law and police going to shoot me, if i dare to use it, and what i am planning to do is totally illegal...
He was full force going on!
It felt like he was attacking me!
Come on, show some respect!
he is goddamn it, half my age!!
I was totally flabbergasted!
I know this shops sell those items all the time.
They have them on show, in the shop, they are in various sizes and materials.
It is legal to have such tool in your home.
You can not even kill someone with it!
It is just to scare someone away......
Give me time to get out of where ever i am....
If you want to move around with it, you have to keep the two important ingredients apart from each other!
It is all very logical.
He did not appogise for his behaviour, at all.
I dont know what i triggered with this, in his brain.
But my god, it was some heavy shit!!
I wont ever ask them something again
I dont need his shitload over me, again!
i will go to that shop on my own, and buy it...
It was such an easy request..
You dont have to hide it, or something like that, or buy some special bag for it,
it will fit in your inner pocket of your coat...
What a drama!!
I will ask him, an other time, what the matter was, with him....
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11
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A wound and resin?
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Posted:Apr 8, 2024 12:26 pm
Last Updated:Apr 10, 2024 10:13 am 12483 Views
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I have been doing some reading, on healing wounds on the way...
There is this very great smelling resin in pine trees, if you cut a branch, you can use the resin as a band Aid.
I did that with this one wound, on my little finger that does not heal, because i constantly rub it against all kind of stuff...
Very frustrating....
Now i have put on some resin, and it works like a charm!
It is very sticky... but who cares! it heals
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14
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A M/s dynamic, (relationship?)
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Posted:Apr 8, 2024 11:40 am
Last Updated:Apr 10, 2024 1:41 am 12139 Views
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Some will prefere to call it a d/s, rather then a Master/slave dynamic.
To me, a D/s comes too close to what all those players are talking about.
So, my preferences goes to use the M/s dynamic.
For me, a d/s is more about playing the bedroom dominance role...
As i said before; To each their own...
It is a deep emotional desire to have a dynamic based on Authority Transfer.
It is just, their internal agreement about how things works best between them.
Also, to me, the word; relation is too much connected with that oso highly praised, "equality" in socalled vanilla relations.
while, my experience and what i see around me, in socalled vanilla relations, is that there is no real! Yeah, i said that word!
no real equality.
There is more of less a constant power struggle going on,
manipulation of each other....Who stays on top, this time, to what price....
As i see it.
There are no arguments in a Master-slave dynamic
It is cristal clear to both of them,
That the whole power struggle is not there
They talked it through, for a very long time, to get to the bottom of this.
how they understand this, for their happiness
He likes to be in controle, guide and protect,
She likes it, when 'he' does take care of her, in that way.
she has her own set of responsibilities.
as he does, too.
It is a totall other focus on "having a relation"
there is NO power struggle, he takes care of all of her.
And, she, on her end of the dynamic takes care of his wants and needs, too.
There is also a totall other use of terms, words
It is an totall other way of thinking, about á relation...
There is NO vanilla in such a relation,
sure, they need to do, shopping, taking care of elderly, pets, and work, cleaning
BUT,
the basic is always that power dynamic, in wich he leads and she follows.
he is 24/7 in her mind and she is 24/7 in his mind,
Thát is the core focus.
Ofcourse there are personal variations on this theme.
The core stays the same.
In some M/s dynamics, it is the slave who runs the financial part, because she is much better in that, then the Master.
There are also M/s dynamics, where the M type is totally NOT interested in having to keep score with what happens with her money.
Or, when there are young ones around, it could be very well, the case, that only one person is totally responsible for them.
It is what they both agreed on, what they both need, and want, in, out of that dynamic
The core is; he is in charge. he leads.
Even when it looks like, she leads...
surrender to his will, his ways, because that makes her feel loved and cherised,
in a way no vanilla relation is ever able to give her, to fulfill that deep inner need and want of hers....
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9
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Sun, soleil, sol, zon, sonne,
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Posted:Apr 8, 2024 3:12 am
Last Updated:Apr 16, 2024 4:56 am 5499 Views
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We got two days sunshine, again the wind was freezing cold,
so, you could NOT sit in the garden, in the sun,enjoy it, ...
And then i heard, some very important air flow, The Artic Polair Vortex,
changed course, above the Northpole.....
Wich could have a very big impact on the weather overall, and here too.
The wind changed from West to East, and that means, most of the time
overhere, very bad winter, cold weather!!
God forbid!!
Not again!!
They are talking abous snow, again.... and freezing temps, too.
They specifically mentioned two dates, the 16 and the 17 of April.....
How is that going to work?
Two days of snow, and after that, we are going on with the spring times?
I dont get it...
Stop this planet, i wanne get of!!   amp;
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11
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An other family member...
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Posted:Apr 5, 2024 10:46 pm
Last Updated:Apr 8, 2024 3:26 am 5735 Views
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My sister just got the bad news, that yet an other family member is told his days are done.
An other family member with multiple cancers all over, in his body..
He, too, took all the needles...
😵💫🥴😭😣😫
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18
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I got 20 points, so he said....?
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Posted:Apr 4, 2024 12:40 am
Last Updated:Apr 20, 2024 12:12 am 7830 Views
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In this conversation about dominance, submission, master, slave
he told me at one point, that i just won 20 points?
HUH?
What?
I did not know, i was in a game of winning points?
I was under the impression, we had some sincere conversation
about what being in a D/s- or M/s all is about...
scoring points?
He never mentioned that before in our conversation,
That i had to collect points, for what ever reason?
So, i finished that contact.
Points??
WTF?
anways, good riddance.
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25
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Dominance, dominant, master, dominance, master?
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Posted:Apr 3, 2024 11:49 am
Last Updated:Apr 5, 2024 10:41 pm 5664 Views
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I am done.
I am too tired,
and have been lied to, too many times.
To be able to open up, ( again ) for someone...
Well,.... Why?
The amount of energy to have to put into that socalled new contact,
never equals the energy, i get back....
Most of the time....
It all starts as lying,cheating, cheap talking....
I just feels there is something off....
Like those bedroom dominants?
I inmediately feel they are playing a game
Not really interested in me, at all
Only in what they can get out of me, or out of my body....
Sooo terrible tiresome...
I am done playing games just to stroke their egos....
There is such a big part of psychology in building a Master_ slave dynamic.
This is, certanly in the beginning, a case of fingerspitzengefuhl
being subtile....
It is not about ticking of some boxes, of wants and needs, hornyness, and the likes?
You have to want to invest time, energy and being sincere is just one very big part of this, too
Having patience, building trust, be réally, réally into that other person?
Both have to want to dig into that other persons personality.
Not!
Not trying to keep a score....
I am done.
I dont mind if i never, ever wil meet a Dominant_ Master in my whole life......
They are not worth the effort....
I am rather happy without them.
Then have to go through all those lies, and game playing....
All the emotional turmoil they create by making believe talk
but never, ever are able to follow that up.
sorry lot!
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13
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