Afraid,
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Posted:Mar 3, 2024 11:45 am
Last Updated:Mar 4, 2024 6:41 am 5834 Views
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After staying with my sister for some time now,
and meeting and seeing more and more of her daugther and husband.
I am very much afraid of their health.
They all have rather strange health problems, of wich they dont understand the origine.
All did take the needle
My brother in law, did have mutiple cancer forms, all over and in his body.
Among bone cancer, as one....
The doctors in the hospital, as i have heard from my sister, did not know, how to deal with this
there was some mild form of panic, in the treatment they gave him.
Of whitch non worked.
So, they all are walking ticking time bombs, who knows when what kind of cancer is getting active....and how....?
I am very much afraid for their health, her daugther and husband have two ....
in the age of primary school.
Overall, there are researching going on, about the way the governments all over the world, fucked their own population...
with this corona madness...
There is more and more evidence that the whole show was one big fake show
The w.h.o did have an total other goal, then your safety and health...
That is for sure, shown in all those research done.
That does not make the people who took the needle safe, again.....
I weep for them and hope they stay out of the line of fire, so to speak...
I am very much afraid of the health of my sister too....
She too, has some strange health problems,
Not ever seen in our family history...
And, i cant talk about this, with them, that would be very rude.
They cant help it, that the really trusted their government.
and did what was told... to do.....
I begged, i really begged, friends and family member too
DO Not take the shot.
It is not safe, they are going way too fast!
Dont do it!!
something is very wrong, here! Dont do it!!
Wait, please wait it out, take sick leaves if you have too
But, please, please dont do it.
And, then they all took the needle....
I can cry... about this abuse of trust.
of this totall other plan, behind it....
Sighs..... 
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15
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Vetting...?
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Posted:Mar 3, 2024 11:05 am
Last Updated:Mar 4, 2024 5:29 am 5437 Views
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Or?
Really taking the time to get to know the other?
I believe vetting is done, for when ever you want to have a safe play partner.
Not a relation style partner...
So, you ask around in your local scene if that person is known.
and what his reputation is?
is he safe to play with?
Is he safe to play with at a private place, or do you need to go to a dungeon to be safe with this person?
What is his knowledge level, on safety or on the tools?
All that kind of info collecting, is all about the play scene.
That is not about the relation first, if ever....
It is in my eyes, also rather shallow....
I mean, this guy can be well known, by some other players,
who dont take safety very serious.
or who dont know anything about the safety/ rights of the submissive (m/f)
Or the trafic light system.
Or good negotiation??
So, for me, vetting is not something i trust very much.
i have been vetting some guys too, and their former submissives
all spoke highly of his quality as a dominant.....
While my experience with this person, was not at all good.
So, vetting is not something i will ever be interested in.
I want to knów the person, behind the mask....
How he treats other people.
How he talks about his former submissives
How he talks about other female members of this society...
Or at his work situation.
Vetting is for me, only for when you want to play with someone.
Do a scene, or some roleplay, fantasy play ...
His character?
Might not be of much interest for you...
While for me, his character is where it all starts.
And as far as i have witnessed, the characters of those play partners
are never questioned at all...
To me, that is a red flag.
I take this all very serious
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7
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Ready to go to bed?
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Posted:Mar 2, 2024 1:25 pm
Last Updated:Mar 3, 2024 10:44 am 5860 Views
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Closed all that needed closing, downstairs.
Got upstairs.
Put my glasses of, and looked around in my bedroom...
I saw what looked like a big dark spot on the ceiling...
Was it a bumblebee?
Who took a wrong turn and ended up in my bedroom?
What was it?
So i put my glasses back on, and get out of bed again...
Walk to that wall, look up...
It is a very big spider!! 🕷
I am not afraid of spiders...
But this one is really, really big...
So, i was wondering, if this is a sign that the weather will change again, for the worst??
So now she is walking around...
I will safe her, tomorrow..
Have nice dreams!! 😂🤣😂 🙏❤
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11
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Back,
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Posted:Mar 1, 2024 8:06 am
Last Updated:Mar 2, 2024 1:14 pm 3774 Views
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I am back at my own place.
I must say, i am very happy to be in my own home.
It is great to be with my sister, and ofcourse, i adjust to her daily pattern,
And her daily living routine is much much more slow
then i am used to.
So, i am tired, to have been adjusted to her daily routine....
Some days, we did not get started after noon!
That is totally not possible in my day to day routine!
Only when i am really, really very ill.....
She is only 4 years older... but has a totall different, much more slow life rhythm.
She told me, she does not want to have to hurry anymore...
Her heart is going way too fast when she hurries...
Does not matter, that is her way.
and that is good, for her. 
Well, anyway, she is doing much better now.....
The first sense of shock is over, now....
Mourning is not something with an experation date...
It can take up to 8 years, she told me, i hope for her, that she learns to deal with this loss, and find her own way, in dealing with this...
Next month she will be coming my way...
The weather in Holland is getting abit more better, temps are almost as "high", as 8 degrees!  
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15
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Sunday morning
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Posted:Feb 24, 2024 10:58 pm
Last Updated:Feb 25, 2024 10:22 pm 5573 Views
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Still in the bed...
I am not "allowed" to go downstairs,
Until my sister comes and gets me....
Total madness,
But i am fine with that.
Dont mind at all.
She has to clean out soooo much mess!!
Every corner in the house is full of "stuff"- he NEEDED to HAVE!
and more and more...
3 dinner tabes.
And what about all his cothes!!
Too talk about total madness!
It is a mental decease, you know?
There is even a very fancy word for it.
Onio manie.
The uncontrolable need to buy,
To try to fill that void,
Inside you.
One other aspect of this mental disorder is,
To isolate yourself, from others,
But also other members of your family.
Out of fear, to be found out....
And that is what he did, too
Try to isolate my sister, from having a normal social life.
Contact with her family, friends, be a member of the social life, in this little village.
Fff criminal behaviour,
HE, could have choosen, to go and find help,
With this "problem"....
It overtook every part of their living,
And that of their , too
there was never any money, for out of school activities,
Because he NEEDED to spend it all.
No summer camp, no sportsclubs, for their daughters..
He could have choosen help/ therapy....?
bully, creating fear, manipulate is what he choose....
You do understand, why i never liked him?
Burn in hell, is what he should, for what he did to my sister and her daughters...
On the other hand...
She could have demanded divorce,
Because of him being not capable mentally, to have a family etc?!
Always both sides.... to any story..
Still, there is this ONE thing,
And that is; having, always having your OWN responsibility.
No matter what!
Anyway,
my sister is healing from this mental ...A ^- b^- use... every day, bit by bit...
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6
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Middle of the night, sort of....
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Posted:Feb 24, 2024 2:12 pm
Last Updated:Apr 20, 2024 12:22 am 5623 Views
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Still at my sisters house.
We are doing alright,
We laugh a lot!!
She cries, sometimes too.
We talk, go out on the bikes, take a walk
Do things together.
Both her daughters come to visit her, and help her with all the paperwork..
I stay for a while longer. .
She is doing alright....
It goes up and down...
Mourning is never easy...
Althought she admits he was, to say the least, mental unstable...
And... the rest of the story is not yet told...
No need, for that.
Not for me,
Maybe for her?
I have seen him, for what he was, all along... .
A bad childhood is NEVER an excuse for bad behaviour.
Not a justfication, either!!
You STILL have your own responsibility.
If a bad childhood could be used for bad behaviour..
I should have become a serial killer!
No excuse!!
Only your own responsibility.
If you use your bad childhood, to bully, manipulate every one around you,
You were already mentally a danger for others...
My thoughts...
Typing by night,on my phone,in the dark,
Is a disaster....
Stay cool! 💋🙏❤
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5
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One more, before i go, :-))
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Posted:Feb 20, 2024 7:13 am
Last Updated:Mar 3, 2024 12:06 pm 6345 Views
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I was doing some last minute shopping,
This guy in front of me, in the line, did not have enough money for this last beer, he wanted to buy.
the supermarkets have a new computer system, so the lady behind the counter did not know how to get this one beer of his list....
She got real nervous and he was not a Dutch guy, so he had no idea what was going on...
I was waiting, and waiting and watching if this lady could get it rigth.
That did not work, everybody nervous, so i asked her; what does this one beer cost?
She told me, i gave her to money, he could collect his beer and the customers could continue what ever important tasks they had in life.
That guy gave me a real big smile and walked out, now the cassiere had an other problem, because she had to give me spare change, from 0,29 cent.....
Sighs...
Right, she called an other staff member and that woman knew how to give me my spare change..... 0,05 cent.....
MyOhmY Onnaisse..
Dont make things more complicated as the already are!?
All that hassle about 0,05 eurocents....
Now it is proven, this new computer system is not working real good, it is a one way system, you cant get things back,or of, from you reciept...
Skoll! prosit. and so on!
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13
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I wont be here, for a while,
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Posted:Feb 19, 2024 12:22 pm
Last Updated:Feb 24, 2024 1:54 pm 6660 Views
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Nothing serious,
Just caring for my sister,
See how she is coping, now, being a single person, again...
After 50 years..
See if i can get her to clean out some of the mess....
Let the energy flow again...
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19
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Saterday,
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Posted:Feb 17, 2024 12:52 am
Last Updated:Feb 19, 2024 12:18 pm 7111 Views
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The plan was, to help a neighbour with her garden, very early on.
The guy who should be there too, was late, already.
So, i worked on my own, in her very small front garden,
i call it a poststamp garden, 2 squar meters or something like that.
I took out of her garden, what i liked and still that guy was not there....
( i cant stand that, you can learn how to plan activities, cant you?)
Alright, when your cat dies, your mother at the same time and your roof is on fire?
Yeah, than is the time to call and tell, i cant make it today... hahhaha
So, now my day is in a disorder, because of this guy, who cant plan.....
I have the herbs she told me, i could get out of her garden, that is great!
The sun is trying to get out there, so that is nice too.
Great beginning of my saterday.
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16
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The bedroom only 'dominants',
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Posted:Feb 13, 2024 9:33 am
Last Updated:Feb 19, 2024 12:08 pm 8499 Views
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They have their own very specific ammo.
Most of them,
compliment you, to kingdom comes,
You are soo great, and you are exactly what they have been searching for,
Your profile is the best they ever read, but the thing is,
they really did not read it, or for sure, did not understand one word about it.
Because, most are not paying members....
Because their starting point is sex, kinky sex.
Just for the fun of it.
Or play act, their latest porn movie...
jadajadajada....
Who wants someone, who always agrees with everything you say, write?
How docile... how boring.
But, héy, they say about anything, if they think, that will get them, into your knickers.
Because that is their only goal.
They mimicri everything you say, about D/s....
ALthough they really have no idea, what that all entails.
To them, it is a game, a playing game
see how fast they can get you on your back, so to say...
Oh, one other aspect of their behaviour:
They want to go onto private mail, almost the instant they messaged you.
Dont give a hoot, about your safety.
Are in a very big hurry.
Dont ask questions.
And dont ever answer any qeustion you ask.
So, their socalled interest in you, is totally fake, empty.
only sexual, and only as long as you dont show any brain activity.
Not question their "knowledge" , or even worst, their "experience"....,
In whát, exactly?
It is all very vague.
Oh, and the final revalation, of their TRUE dominance, is that they lose their temper, as soon as you "talk back", as they call it...
They become real nasty pieces of shite.
The names they call you, when you dont fall for their shite.
is really very "true dominance" behaviour!!
WHAHAHAHAHAH!
Pathetic little weasels, vanilla men, without any cleu how to treat women and how to treat submissive women....
No respect, no understanding of the core of a submissive woman, and frankly dont give a F about you.
And, although they SAY, they are interested in you, they never come up, with any qeustion, that shows their socalled interest...
They never start a real conversation, show real interest in you, as a person with a life and maybe a job or elderly parents, family members to take care of, or what ever is going on, in your life.
Strange, dont you think?
I believe, that actually, they have just two qeustions for you,
What makes you horny and what turns you on.
Wich is actually one and the same qeustion.
Or, they demand! nude pictures, or they demand!, you go on webcam with them, because of all the scammers, you know?
Yeah, right.
Who is scamming who, here?
As if i am willing to talk about that with a totall stranger?
NON of your bisniss.
The rudeness of such a approach, is really unbelievable...
bedroom play doms.
Sure, there will be one or three maybe, who have manners,
who know how to behave, but
and that is a real big BUT,
sooner then later, they will show you, their true colours.
Getting rude, throw insults around, about you not being a true submissive, and you being fake, and even being a domina!!
They really think, they can insult me, with thát?
whahaha, it only shows their true colour.
block, delete and dont loose sleep over those suckers!
If you met one of those, you will recognise their ammo, in a sec.
They are sooo terrible predictable, and soo terrible tiresome.....
There is absolutely no intelligent challenge with those.....
On the contrary, they are an insult to my intelligence.
My, Oh, My~onnaise! 
There are probably more traits, in wich they show their true colour,
but for now, this is it.
I just had to vent this!
After just one other like that, coming in my inbox.
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14
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