Have Y/you ever.......
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Posted:Nov 6, 2006 3:15 pm
Last Updated:Nov 8, 2006 10:56 am 7440 Views
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just wanted to sit down and bawl Y/your eyes out?.....and have no idea why?
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Give a little bit.......
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Posted:Nov 4, 2006 8:16 am
Last Updated:Oct 28, 2020 8:30 pm 7265 Views
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...Give a little bit of your love to me
Give a little bit
I'll give a little bit of my love to you
There's so much that we need to share
Send a smile and show you care
~Supertramp
i was tagged by the most delightful, and always delicious, spoiled71 with this wonderful tag.
For the lovely Lady, Savanna2play much love, because that's what it all about really. As well as the top, and ONLY spot on the "list" for the next life *winks*
For my Friend, rexbannah, strength and clarity in this difficult time.
For derfauster a respite from drama, and an ark...*L*
For SHYgirl2006 a warm and loving Master who cherishs all of you, as you so very much deserve.
For tbird038, a meeting of my boys and Yours in the 2007 Championship game....with my boys of course, emerging victorious!!!
For the sexy , a beautiful new drawing to hang in Your dungeon, that i made myself...with my new box of markers...tY, teehee.
Now, Y/you all consider Y/yourselves tagged, so get out there, and pay it forward!!!
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Thank Y/you Bloggers
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Posted:Nov 4, 2006 7:46 am
Last Updated:Nov 18, 2006 1:40 pm 7926 Views
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i have heard and read much on Alt., about the lack of "real" P/people, the dearth of quality Doms and submissives, that it is full of fakes and frauds, P/people more interested in cyber than reality. Well now i just beg to differ. When i wrote my Wrestling post my feelings were real and raw and a glimpse into who i really am. i would like to take this opportunity to not only thank my regular readers (Y/you know who Y/you are), but to extend a special thanks to MDangerous, wildrose1212, spoiled71, fluffergirl, spunkin, sexslavealexa, and SirJohnDom. That Y/you all took the time, not only to read my blog, which is cool enough, but to craft such thoughtful and thought provoking responses touched me more than Y/you know. All were unique, all were valid, all offered different opinions, yet all were alike in the genuine concern and care that they afforded. The very fact that P/people i don't even know, with the exception of Laura, would reach out in my time of need reaffirms my thought that Alt IS a community, a fucked-up, weird, sometimes dysfunctional community, but a community nonetheless. Bloggers especially, that will reach out to Y/you in friendship and sharing. Are W/we bloggers the exception rather than the rule on Alt? Is it because W/we share so much of O/ourselves through O/our writing, that W/we are more apt to reach out a hand to O/others? i have no idea, yet i do know that i am honored to be a part of it, and truly appreciative of all that i have been given.
Thank Y/you bloggers!!
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Emotional Masochism
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Posted:Nov 1, 2006 5:54 pm
Last Updated:Nov 8, 2006 7:31 am 8421 Views
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How many of U/us are guilty of it? i know i am--to continually fall for the wrong One. Knowing even as you seek Him, His smile like water to parched earth, that He will hurt you. Disappoint you. Not be the One for you. you know going in what He can give may not be enough. And that you will not be enough for Him--not pretty enough...not thin enough...not smart enough.
Do i enjoy being rejected? Does it do something for me? Does it reaffirm my innermost thoughts that perhaps i AM not enough?
Is it easier to wander down the familiar path and pick the wrong One? Because even though you know you'll be hurt, it's easier than putting in the time, effort, and emotional availability toward a relationship that will work. Is it fear of intimacy that leads to the choices? Or a fear of really getting what you want and need? Because if you do...then what?
Is it easier to feel the sting of the whip, the slap of the crop, knowing that in time THOSE marks will fade and heal, unlike the scars upon your heart...which never do.
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Spooky.....
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Posted:Oct 28, 2006 11:09 am
Last Updated:Nov 7, 2006 7:11 pm 7734 Views
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so i'm sitting here......heavy sighing, contemplating whether i want to thank everyone that responded to my last blog, either individually, or make a whole new entry about it, and wishing Sir would call, and the phone rings...it's Him. *big fucking grin* He said that although, He thought W/we would not be able to talk until Monday, He woke up this morning and felt that He needed to call and check in. Curious indeed. i was so glad He did.
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Wrestling......
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Posted:Oct 27, 2006 9:00 am
Last Updated:Nov 7, 2006 7:11 pm 8261 Views
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with myself and my feelings today, i feel very emotional, all topsy turvy and confused.
i am a strong and independent woman...and i hate the weakness that He engenders in me, and yet i love it at the same time.
my thoughts stray to Him at all hours, and a secret smile crosses my face...i wonder, does He think of me?
i am a selfish needy subbie, i want more of Him, all of Him, yet know i should be grateful for the limited time W/we have together.
i crave His touch, His voice, His everything, yet am ashamed at my neediness.i am STRONG, i am WOMAN, hear me ROAR!!! Yet i mewl like a kitten, at His merest whisper.
How do i reconcile these aspects of my personality?
Ashamed of my weakness, yet needing weakness? It's like He's a drug
i sit here, shivering, tears streaming down my face, drinking cup after cup of coffee, smoking to many cigarrettes, and trying to sort my life out.
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Tagged...AGAIN!!
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Posted:Oct 21, 2006 12:24 pm
Last Updated:Oct 21, 2006 12:26 pm 7405 Views
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1. What time did you get up today? 9:30
2. Diamonds or pearls? Oh no...don't make me chose just ONE. So while Y/your at it, could Y/you throw in some saphires, emeralds and tanzanite? *w*. Did Y/you know that pearls need to be worn, lest they lose their luster? The heat from ones body helps keep them glowing.
3. What was the last film you saw? X-Men III, kinda...*L*
4. What is your favourite TV show? Dancing With the Stars...i know, i know. ER.
5. What did you have for breakfast? Breakfast? Breakfast? what is this breakfast Y/you speak of?
6. What is your middle name? Prefer not to say
7. What is your favourite cuisine? Italian
8. What foods do you dislike? Liver, blech
9. What are your favourite potato chips? Lays BBQ
10. What is your favourite CD at the moment? MicaTone, self titled.
11. What kind of car do you drive? 2003 VW Jetta, i do so love my German engineering!! Go Farfignugen!!
12. Favourite sandwich? Tuna on rye with white American cheese, lettuce and onions...oh, and a pickle!!
13. What characteristics do you despise? Not keeping Y/your word, racism and unfounded arrogance.
14. Favourite item of clothing? Low rise blue jeans
15. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation? Does everywhere count? But to start, St. Petersburg, Russia, Vienna, Austria, New Zealand, and an African Safari
16. What colour is your bathroom? Sage and cream, with purple accents
17. Favourite brand of clothing? Ralph Lauren,
18. Where would like to retire? Oh good Lord, i haven't thought that far ahead...*L*
19. Favourite time of day? Evening
20. What was your most memorable birthday? Hopefully, it hasn't come around yet. i am planning a big ole girly bash in Vegas for my 40th
21. Favourite sport to watch? Duh.....pro football...GO PATS!!, and college basketball...GO HUSKIES!!!!
22. Are you a morning person or night? Night
23. Do you have any pets? 2 cats, mommies little angels
24. Any new and exciting news you want to share? No thank Y/you
25. What did you want to be when you were little? A veterinarian
26. What are you currently reading? The Glass Castle, by Jeannette Walls, it's excellent
27. What is your favourite colour? Red
28. What is your favourite ice cream flavour? Mint Chocoalte chip, or Butter Crunch
29.Red or White Wine: Red, a nice medium body cabernet, with lots of oak and vanilla
30 Do you have any tattoos? No
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Lust, Ropes, and the Last Vestiges of Control
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Posted:Oct 21, 2006 10:57 am
Last Updated:Oct 28, 2006 7:57 am 8608 Views
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i am at a bit of a loss today, in fact i don't even know if i'm going to post this blog, as it is quite personal, and i'm not sure i'm ready to share of all it. *deep breath* i shall try.
So the story goes something like this.......i went to visit Sir on Thursday night. He asked me..."What were You thinking about on the way up here?...what did you want to have happen? what are the top three things you would like Me to do to you? i smiled and lowered my eyes, as when His gaze is upon me, giving me..."that look", i feel exceedingly submissive, and more than a bit shy. "Sir, if it pleases You, i did bring some rope i picked up at Home Depot as well as some new candles." He smiled and said, "Well now that sounds like a fine start" After dinner, and a movie...well...*blushes* about half of a movie, as by that point i just HAD to be on my knees in front of Him, and uhhh well, Y/you get the idea. W/we adjourned to the bedroom and play commenced.....everything was going along wonderfully. i discovered i have an EXTREME fondness for cold metal against my skin...*shivers*, and the feeling of the rubber flogger being just dragged leisurely across my skin was divine. The, "problem" if Y/you want to call it that was when He was touching me, trying to make me cum.....i just......couldn't. i don't know what my problem was. i don't know if i was thinking...this is all about me....as opposed to...this is for Him, or if i was having body image issues...even though Sir constantly tells me i am beautiful...*wry grin*, and sometimes, i almost believe Him. Or if, as He suggested, i was holding on to this as a means of maintaining some shred of control. The thing is....i WANT to lose control...i CRAVE to lose control. i was tied to the bed and blindfolded, so i really didn't have any control...or did i?....Grrrrrr, this is so frustrating. Is it a trust issue?...i don't think so, as i have known Him for well over a year, and trust Him implicitly. He growled in my ear....am I not deserving? are you saving it for someOne else? am i? oh jeez, i didn't THINK i was. The more questions i ask...the more questions i come up with. Please don't get me wrong, as i believe He was pleased with my efforts in other areas, and i had a magnificent time. Why then do i feel like a failure? Am i a bad submissive not to have given Him this? Oh dear me....why am i telling all of Y/you this?..i need to be telling Him.
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ACHOO.....hmm, i seem to have caught that tag that's going aroung
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Posted:Sep 19, 2006 6:53 pm
Last Updated:Oct 28, 2006 7:44 am 8146 Views
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1. Would you rather have free chocolate for one year or free potatoes for life?
Checks...hmmm, breasts?..yes, vagina?...yup, got one. So tell me again;....is this even a question? Of COURSE i would take the chocolate....a lovely dark chocolate please.
2. Would you rather have wheels or wings?
Wings please, unless of course the wheels were attached to a Merc Maybach, or sexy lil Porsche, or a RR Silver Spur, or a Bugatti, or a....ummm, am i over thinking this?..*L*..Ok, so wings yes, i'll go with wings...*nods*
3. Would you rather end hunger or hatred?
Hatred
4. Would you rather have seven older brothers or seven older sisters?
Oh, 7 older brothers for sure. Think of all the cute friend potential!!
5. Would you rather be a trashman or a proctologist?
Ugh...are those my only choices? *sighs* well, i guess i'll hafta go with the Dr. option, simply because i'm pretty sure that garbage men have to get up waaaaaaaay to early.
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Don't Forget about Them......
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Posted:Sep 18, 2006 6:40 pm
Last Updated:Oct 21, 2006 11:15 am 8355 Views
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i got this in an e-mail today, and it touched me:
Your alarm goes off, you hit the snooze and sleep for another 10 minutes.
He stays up for days on end.
____________ _________ ____
You take a warm shower to help you wake up.
He goes days or weeks without running water.
____________ _________ _____
You complain of a "headache", and call in sick.
He gets shot at as others are hit, and keeps moving forward.
____________ _________ _____
You put on your anti war/don't support the troops shirt, and go meet up
with your friends.
He still fights for your right to wear that shirt.
____________ _________ _____
You make sure you're cell phone is in your pocket.
He clutches the cross hanging on his chain next to his tags.
____________ _________ _____
You talk trash about your "buddies" that aren't with you.
He knows he may not see some of his buddies again.
____________ _________ _____
You walk down the beach, staring at all the pretty girls.
He walks the streets, searching for insurgents and terrorists.
____________ _________ _____
You complain about how hot it is.
He wears his heavy gear, not daring to take off his helmet to wipe his
brow.
____________ _________ _____
You go out to lunch, and complain because the restaurant got your order
wrong.
He doesn't get to eat today.
____________ _________ _____
Your maid makes your bed and washes your clothes.
He wears the same things for weeks, but makes sure his weapons are clean.
____________ _________ _____
You go to the mall and get your hair redone.
He doesn't have time to brush his teeth today.
____________ _________ _____
You're angry because your class ran 5 minutes over.
He's told he will be held over an extra 2 months.
____________ _________ _____
You call your girlfriend and set a date for tonight.
He waits for the mail to see if there is a letter from home.
____________ _________ _____
You hug and kiss your girlfriend, like you do everyday.
He holds his letter close and smells his love's perfume.
____________ _________ _____
You roll your eyes as a baby cries.
He gets a letter with pictures of his new , and wonders if they'll
ever meet
____________ _________ _____
You criticize your government, and say that war never solves anything.
He sees the innocent tortured and killed by their own people and remembers
why he is fighting.
____________ _________ _____
You hear the jokes about the war, and make fun of men like him.
He hears the gunfire, bombs and screams of the wounded.
____________ _________ _____
You see only what the media wants you to see.
He sees the broken bodies lying around him.
____________ _________ _____
You are asked to go to the store by your parents. You don't.
He does exactly what he is told.
____________ _________ _____
You stay at home and watch TV.
He takes whatever time he is given to call, write home, sleep, and eat.
____________ _________ _____
You crawl into your soft bed, with down pillows, and get comfortable.
He crawls under a tank for shade and a 5 minute nap, only to be woken by
gunfire.
____________ _________ _____
You sit there and judge him, saying the world is probably a worse place
because of men like him.
If only there were more men like him!_________ ___________ _________
If you support your troops, re-send this to everyone you know
Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you,
Jesus Christ and the American G. I.
One died for your soul, the other for your freedom
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