Living Today...
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Posted:Mar 7, 2013 12:30 am
Last Updated:Aug 9, 2023 4:58 pm 13489 Views
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Live for today - live in the Now - live in the moment.
A collection of experiences weave a tapestry of memories.
We are challenged to live life as a crescendo - with each moment and day greater than the one before.
And as we look around, we see the present for what it truly is: all that we have.
The present not shared with another, while fulfilling in itself, is lacking.
But we press on - for we the people are hopeful people.
And without hope, we are nothing.
I hope I have the opportunity to meet you some day, and to share the Now.
tasina
© March 2013
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Old Habits Never Die...
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Posted:Jul 9, 2012 10:29 pm
Last Updated:Aug 9, 2023 4:57 pm 16099 Views
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Old Habits Never Die...They Often Lead to Disappointment
With renewed enthusiasm, we set upon our mission.
This time we commit to doing things differently.
Surely, the outcome will be different this time, we say to ourselves.
Alas there is the unknown part of the equation: the other person.
If we continue to do what we've always done, the outcome will be the same.
And of course this time is no different.
Unknown to ourselves, we repeat the same behaviours
unaware that we are doing so, and the outcome is the same.
Our only resources are what we know.
How does one figure out how to do things differently?
All we have is what we know.
We don't know what we don't know.
tasina
© July 2012
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The Return to Self...
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Posted:Jul 9, 2012 10:06 pm
Last Updated:Aug 9, 2023 4:57 pm 16199 Views
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The Return to Self...
We are on a journey.
Often our map takes us to places off our path.
Caught up in the daily priorities and demands, we lose our way.
And then in the stillness of the night,
when the outer world is silenced,
we hear the whispers, as gentle as a light summer breeze,
calling to us.
Familiar to us, we finally choose to let the voice be heard.
We hear the hushed whispers guiding us
to set aside the daily demands,
and we hear the call:
to return to self.
Curiously we ponder the voice's message
and we become aware of that part of us that we set aside
in favour of outside demands.
We hush the voice and choose to ignore its message.
Days and months pass, and once again we hear its call.
This time, we gather up the courage, toss away the map,
and reposition, with a different focus:
That of self, and the needs of the inner voice.
Deep from within comes the yearning for submission to another
and we once again find ourselves on that familiar path
that we abandoned so long ago.
And we remember:
Submissive is not what we are,
it is who we are at the core of our being.
tasina
© July 2012
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A Sincere Thank You...
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Posted:May 7, 2011 11:11 pm
Last Updated:Aug 9, 2023 4:57 pm 15503 Views
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A Sincere Thank You ...
...to those who have honoured me by taking a few moments to read my writings. I am humbled and grateful I was able to inspire some to see a different truth.
While I have continued with my journey of discovery, my life path has taken a different direction. As I see the way ahead on my new path, I hope to have the opportunity to once again share my learnings and insights.
Until then I encourage you to seek that which inspires you to realize your fullest potential. Be kind to yourself, and seek enjoyment and serenity in all that you do.
Peace, joy and wishes for a continued safe journey,
tasina
© May 2011
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"I AM DOM" ... resonated in every word...
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Posted:Sep 15, 2009 8:55 pm
Last Updated:Aug 9, 2023 4:56 pm 15543 Views
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"I AM DOM"... resonated in every word...
It's easy to assume a title or label, but the bigger question is its appropriateness. Is "dominance" in the word of the sayer, or in the eye of the beholder?
I recently encountered one such "self-professing" individual, who at least provided some entertainment in addition to food for thought.
He expressed the usual sentiments... honour, integrity, respect, trustworthiness, honest and frank communicator. It was more interesting to see it in action! Honour existed as long as he felt his was not threatened. Integrity lasted as long as his arm. Respect was one-sided - with him as the recipient and totally unaware that it is reciprocal. Trustworthy? Fortunately there wasn't enough time to measure that. Honest and frank communication was the name of his game: " I will speak with you honestly and directly, tell you want I want and expect of you and you will comply". Limits are those that were his - the sub was not to have any. And as I reflect, limits were more about his patience and tolerance, or perhaps I should say impatience and intolerance.
While our exchanges where peppered with humour, that too only lasted until his insecurities got the better of him causing him to shut down communications until he recovered.
In retrospect it would have been better for me to point him to my previous writing, in lieu of conversing on any topic. It probably would have saved us both some time and effort.
Daily experiences give birth to important lessons - Dom, sub, Top, bottom, Master, slave - are all terms we use daily, however their true definition rests in the successful exchange between two willing and mature adults - fully knowledgeable of their potential and also their fragility.
tasina
© September 2009
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One Person's Views on Some Aspects of D/s and BDSM
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Posted:Jun 5, 2009 5:55 am
Last Updated:Aug 9, 2023 4:02 pm 16100 Views
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One Person's Views on Some Aspects of D/s and BDSM
We all have our views, and with experience and knowledge have defined what D/s and BDSM means for each of us. These comments are about how I view it, respecting that others experiences and views may differ.
Dominance and submission: the shaping of the submissive by the hand of the Dominant - sometimes bending, but never breaking. "He holds her destiny in the palm of His hand" is a phrase I developed to capture the essence of the relationship.
Consent: Implicit or explicit? For some it is implicit, for me it is explicit. The relationship between the Dom and sub must be such that any and all things can and will be discussed or shared, in an open and safe manner.
Does the Dom cajole his submissive? I would expect the Dom to support the submissive in her efforts to grow, recognizing that one does not grow in all ways at once. Does the Dom really know that her 'true boundary is a little further', or does he believe his position affords him the right to be able to test a limit by pushing a bit harder beyond? The Dom may desire to push harder to test the limit, however it is the sub who chooses to allow that limit to be moved. Limits like everything else are only given up, by the sub, never taken by the Dom. Otherwise, she and each limit becomes a conquest, a challenge of sorts for the Dom. I see the role of the Dom being one of nurturing and creating the right kind of environment that enables her to allow her submissiveness to fully emerge, quite often described as the opening of a blossom -- one does not force or "push" a flower to bloom.
Trust - the cornerstone. One does not really have to discuss trust to any great extent, (in my humble opinion), for it is the product of the what and how undertaken by the couple. Their actions and deeds either increase it or diminish it. It either exists or it doesn't. The depth of the trust is measured by the willingness of each to move to a different level. It is the last thing to come, and the first thing to go, and while it is the cornerstone, it is also the most fragile element of the relationship.
Discipline - a motivator? Behaviours are discovered, learned, and shaped. They cover such a broad spectrum, from the rituals of greeting to the intricacies of play. Are they truly explicitly agreed upon or are they more a learning, understanding, acceptance or shaping through positive reinforcement moreso than discipline? I believe they evolve as one desires to please the other. Behaviours are shaped by one's thoughts and actions. If the sub is right-minded, they are easily managed. It is the attitutde and mindset of the submissive the Dom must "discipline" to see a change. But then again, change is what the submissive may offer up, rather than be taken by the Dom. Does severe punishment (and I don't mean play) bring about behaviourial change? Highly unlikely, I see it only as a means to manage a specific situation. It is not long lasting. True behaviourial change occurs from the heart and mind of the submissive, can a Dom truly "discipline" the heart, mind and will of the submissive through a physical act? My experience has been that there is very little need to discipline. Now "discipline" as a form of play, is something altogether different. It is not uncommon for a submissive to be responding to a Dom in a way that the Dom sees the only means of modifying the response is through a spanking. Long-lasting change comes from the desire of the submissive to please. The question then becomes how then does the Dom motivate his submissive to 'change'?
On Decision-making: As to discussions and decision-making, through discussion and the building of trust and through consistent actions by the Dom, the sub begins to give up more and more decision-making to the Dom. It is her way of giving up control and authority over her and aspects of her life to him. There will be times when she may not totally trust the Dom, but will in her own way test the Dom, by accepting his decision, provided she sees the consequences of the decision maintaining her safety.
Physical Submission or Submission of the Mind (and will): With every topic there are two contexts within which to view them within this lifestyle: the physical vs the intellectual. While linked by being part of the submissive's whole being, I see approaches can differ significantly depending upon which domain one favours. I see intellectual submission and the giving up of control and authority to one's Dom as something very different to physical submission. I tend to think of submission of the mind moreso than submission of the body, for in submission of the mind, comes total submission.
The Essence of the D/s Relationship: To me, the essence of D/s is love -- without it, it is role play or kink. I've heard it said, that "D/s is who we are, bdsm is what we do" (or may choose to do). D/s can exist without the toys and kinks. The activities and toys a Dom and sub choose to share and experience are only those which interest them and will continue to build the relationship. To me, D/s is of the mind -- it is the dynamic, the chemistry between two people -- a means through which they choose to interact. It exists either separate and apart from physical dominance/submission, or with the physical aspects present.
Individual's Responsibility: Doms/subs are humans first and therefore not perfect. Each has the responsibility to help the other grow. Open and respectful communication is easy in a trusting relationship provided there is commonality of purpose and intent. I desire to help and support my Dom to be all he can and desires to be, much like the help and support he would give me. Each desires to grow, each desires to be all they can for the other. While sometimes our humanity interferes, it is reality. Perfection is an ideal. A healthy, open and growing relationship requires healthy, open and growing individuals. If one chooses to stop growing as an individual, the gap that occurs between the two, places the relationship at risk until it reaches the point where the chasm is too big for either to cross, and the relationship is lost.
BDSM Interests: My bdsm interests are broad and can also be quite limited in comparison to some. I find they are shaped by the dynamic that exists between my partner and I. What I am willing to try is based upon the level of trust I have in my partner. It is far easier for me to express what I don't like or am not interested in experiencing than what I do. Over time, each new experience will be gauged from the pleasure it provides either to my Dom or to me. My philosophy is that living (and D/s) is about learning what we don't want. BDSM checklists are useful to compare possible shared interests, but in the end, the form of BDSM play two people engage in varies with the type and form of relationship and the dynamic it creates.
Thank you for taking the time to read my views.
Thankfully we are all individuals and with that, may hold different views and have acquired varying insights from our own experiences.
tasina
© June 2009
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Where The Mind Is Without Fear
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Posted:Jun 4, 2009 4:23 am
Last Updated:Aug 9, 2023 4:55 pm 15388 Views
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Where the Mind is Without Fear
Where the mind is without fear and the head is held high
Where knowledge is free
Where the world has not been broken up into fragments
By narrow domestic walls
Where words come out from the depth of truth
Where tireless striving stretches its arms towards perfection
Where the clear stream of reason has not lost its way
Into the dreary desert sand of dead habit
Where the mind is led forward by thee
Into ever-widening thought and action
Into that heaven of freedom, let us awake.
~ Rabindranath Tagore (1861-1941)
tasina
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Life Often Serves Up a Change in Focus
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Posted:Jun 4, 2009 4:13 am
Last Updated:Aug 9, 2023 4:55 pm 15532 Views
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Life Often Serves Up a Change in Focus
We get caught up in the busy-ness of daily life.
Time once invested in our search for what was our priority and primary focus: the search for a compatible partner, disappears in the rush to live and fully experience life. While we are called to be true to ourselves, daily we choose how we invest in ourselves. We are called to learn, grow and evolve. With the passing of time, our focus changes and staying true to ourselves, our inner desires and needs, slips quietly into the distance.
As with a favourite old book, we sometimes take our truest and deepest desires and needs down from the shelf, dust them off and turn the pages, pausing to remember, relive, re-experience, allowing the deepest feelings of our heart's desire to percolate to the surface.
Never forgotten, but often set aside (or parked on a shelf), our heart's desires always remain deep within us, despite our efforts to move forward on a different path. Only personal choice brings them to the forefront.
In the pursuit of our calling: to live, to love, to learn and to realize our fullest potential, we often lose sight of the core of our being and our deepest yearning: being in submission to another.
For a fleeting moment we are drawn to the thought of "what if", and with a sigh, we return "the favourite old book" to the shelf, and resume our new path.
Changed focus, but not forgotten.
"Life is not the way it's suppose to be, it's just the way that it is"
tasina
© June 2009
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A Portrait of Him
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Posted:Feb 8, 2009 8:56 am
Last Updated:Aug 9, 2023 4:55 pm 5070 Views
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A Portrait of Him
He is good, flexible,
fully knowledgeable of himself,
what he offers and wants.
Desiring to satisfy the physical,
cerebral and spiritual needs of his sub.
He respects her limitations with the understanding
that her mind be open to his words and of his expectations.
He desires her to grow continuously
least the relationship grow stale.
He does not fear success,
he welcomes the challenge to attain it in all things.
He knows his limitations,
and demonstrates his humility
by acknowledging his humanity.
He offers commitment
and does not shy away from the effort
to create that which he desires.
His conversations are peppered with humour,
yet his messages are clear.
He seeks both to understand
and to be understood.
A romantic, he feels the music of words.
Openly expressive of his feelings,
he creates a comfortable space for those around him.
He knows himself well
and opens the pages of his life to her
so she may come to know
and be desirous of him.
Dedicated to "Him"
tasina
© February 2009
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The Gift of People...
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Posted:Nov 2, 2008 8:43 pm
Last Updated:Aug 9, 2023 4:54 pm 5930 Views
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The Gift of People...
We live, we love, we learn, we grow and within ourselves we know happiness. Sometimes we travel in solitude, other times with the company of others we come to know as friends. Occasionally we receive the gift and presence of someone special, who then becomes our primary focus, and the facilitator of our journey.
Whether known at the time, those with whom we cross paths are gifts. From each we learn, be it wisdom, discernment, definition, clarity or joy. Each offers something - we only need open our eyes and mind to allow our hearts to see, receive and experience that which each offers.
tasina
© November 2008
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