Hog-tied and tortured
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Posted:May 18, 2012 3:44 pm
Last Updated:May 18, 2012 3:52 pm 9624 Views
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I arrive dead on time for the session. I’m very keen as the last one was four weeks ago, what’s more, I don’t want to incur my Mistress’ wrath by being late, and I’m already going to be punished enough for being cheeky in one of my texts last night and not responding promptly to an email earlier in the week.
I knock on the door and it opens almost instantly. MsJo lets me in and I kiss her neck. As agreed in the texts I am allowed to go the bathroom upstairs and first wash myself, I’ll feel better knowing my arse is totally clean.
While up there I sense I also need to wee but know better than to just go and do it. I ask MsJo whether I am allowed to have a wee. In a way the session starts with me having my wee with MsJo looking on while I sit down for it. She is amused by me sitting down - says I am a bit of a girl... Maybe, I'm just house trained. It’s more that I wouldn’t want to lose my aim and pee on her floor!
After dripping off and washing my hands we go downstairs into the hall once more and I am told to strip off down to my panties first.
After I fold my clothes up and put them away I open my bag and give MsJo the peacock feathers she asked me to buy. I also show and give her some more items I took along which she might like to use in the session today like a carefully blunted tooth pick, a cocktail stirrer and my butt plug.
With all the preliminaries out of the way it is now time to start the session proper. MsJo walks me into the room and positions me in the middle of it for inspection. She starts at the top, checking my ears first; she pinches and pulls both ears and peaks inside. It is strange how private your ears are. Normally nobody ever touches them and it engenders quite powerful feelings having them touched and pulled about. I also normally like my lobes pinched and nibbled which makes me wonder what it would be like to have clamps attached to them. The very thought causes stirrings in my loins and I can feel an erection developing, my stomach is full of butterflies.
My nose is next, Mistress pulls my nostrils up and open and inspects inside. I wonder how it would be if she would stick something up it….
I'm told to open my mouth and Mistress makes me stick my tongue out. She pulls my lips open wider and checks my teeth, which with all my fillings is embarrassing but at least I know they are clean, I hope my tongue is too, I decide to clean that as well next time. My thoughts turn to the little alligator clamps again but they would probably hurt too much on my lips or tongue, though they might be possible later in the session.
I love having everything inspected like this, it really makes me feel quite subjected, it gives me butterflies in my stomach and waves of anticipation gushing up and down through my body and loins. It suffuses me with a feeling of vulnerability and helplessness as despite not being restrained I can’t do anything. The bonds are mental ones.
Last time Mistress pulled my eyelids open as well and that really sent very strong feelings gushing down through my body. The feeling of total submission and vulnerability was overwhelming.
I am descending fast into sub space now. The rest of me is inspected. Mistress runs her nails down my back which makes me shiver and pinches my nipples, hard before telling me to lift my arms up and checking my underarms.
Next Mistress makes me drop my panties and inspects my bits. She has a good look around the balls and then takes hold of my cock. She rolls back the foreskin and turns the tip of my cock over to check all sides of it which causes a pleasant wrenching sensation. Mistress then bends down and sniffs it. I know I'm clean but I have just had a wee so it's a scary moment!
Mistress walks round to stand behind me and I'm told to bend and spread my cheeks as my rear quarters are checked over. Last time she checked all the way inside with a gloved finger…
Finally Mistress checks between my toes and makes me lift up my feet to check my soles. She then gets up and stands in front of me smiling. I think I’ve passed but am not yet sure, it would help if we had something that would signal the end of the inspection and the start of the play, like having a collar put on.
The inspection has put me in the mood, I’m definitely in sub space now, and somewhere in the process MsJo has become Mistress in my mind. The feelings of submission and obedience are helped by the thought that I am standing stark naked in the middle of the room with this elegantly dressed slim woman right next to me, she is wearing a simple black body hugging top. Her breasts look fantastic in it. Under that she is wearing a nice black and white patterned skirt which comes just above the knee, dark tights and black high heeled shoes. Around her neck is a long colourful necklace. Her finger nails are long and pointy and have the points painted in bright colours.
With her heels on Mistress is quite tall and doesn't really have to look up at me which makes it easier for me to feel she is dominant over me.
I had been cheeky in my last text to Mistress the night before and she had already informed me I would have to be punished for that as well as for not responding to her email earlier. Mistress makes me get out a foldaway table and chair and sits me down with a pen and a large sheet of paper. She berates me for not responding to her email promptly and tells me to write the line: "I must reply to my Mistress as soon as she mails me" ten times. My heart sinks; I hated lines as a . Still I deserve to be punished and although this is not what I was expecting it is indeed punishment. I start writing but am only a few words in when Mistress tells me off for my handwriting which isn’t neat enough!
I’m getting flustered now, next I forget to capitalise the M in Mistress in the first two lines so I have to cross them out and start over. In the end I do manage to get ten lines out that are both correctly capitalised and written neatly enough. As I sit totally naked at the table with Mistress looking on like a school teacher of old the writing seems to take ages. The pen is a joke shop one, it is shaped like a policeman and his “meat truncheon” pops out when you press the button to use the pen, it is too big for me to hold so my hand is beginning to cramp towards the end. I would much rather have had a spanking but maybe Mistress felt that would have been more like a reward. Well, little did I know what was to come…
Be careful what you wish for they say! No sooner had the lines finished or Mistress informs me that I still need further punishment and will receive four spanks. She makes me put the table and chair away and then go down on all fours and stick my bum up. While I’m down there Mistress puts a large ball gag in my mouth and secures it tight. I start drooling almost straight away as the ball has a slightly rough texture which stimulates it. I love being gagged.
I feel totally subjected kneeling there on all fours with my mouth spread wide open by the gag, unable to swallow properly and drooling while my bum is slightly curled up, my legs spread shoulder width apart ready for the spanking. I am totally vulnerable, exposed and helpless; it sends warm waves through my abdomen and gives me sort of a fluttery weak feeling round my balls, my skin tingles all over my body.
Mistress tells me again I am going to be given four spanks and warns me it might hurt. Four doesn't sound like too much...
I feel a thin object against my bum cheeks as Mistress tests the right angle. I’m not yet sure what it is but it is quite thin, a crop or a cane? Mistress then lifts off and with a swish whatever it is impacts on my bum which bursts with a sharp stinging intense pain even though it had been quite a soft blow. The next blow is harder as Mistress is happy she has the right angle and the pain is instantly incandescent, my bum feels like it is burning. I would have gasped or perhaps let out a short scream but I can only moan quietly and mumble with the gag in. I am drooling uncontrollably though and it seems to get more with every stroke.
After the fourth spank I am very grateful that was the last one. My bum is stinging like I’d sat on a wasp nest. Mistress inspects the results of her efforts and is very pleased with the welts she’s left and how nicely red my bum is.
After taking a photo Mistress takes my gag out and makes me dry the floor with a wipe. She tells me to sit down and cross my legs. I do so and Mistress puts leather cuffs on my arms and legs and fastens my wrists to my ankles in that position.
Once I am securely and safely shackled in this way Mistress holds up a latex hood, it's a hangman hood with red borders around the eye and mouth holes, she asks me if I've ever worn one before. I tell her that I've only ever seen them on websites but have often wondered what it would feel like. Mistress smiles and steps round behind me. She places the hood over my head and fastens it. It takes some pulling about to get the mouth and eye holes aligned properly but eventually it sits in the right place. The hood makes it somewhat more difficult to breathe but is otherwise quite comfortable. To move my mouth to speak takes a real effort now as I have to push against the latex to move my jaw. Thin though it is it also muffles sound quite a bit.
I have no idea what we are going to do in this position but all is revealed as Mistress gives me a Wombles album and tells me to read her a couple of chapters making sure to read it clearly and with proper intonation. I’m told to keep going whatever happens or I’ll be punished again.
I start reading. I can’t see where Mistress is but I sense her behind me. I can feel tickling on my back and soon I can feel tickling all over my body, Mistress is using one of the new peacock feathers. She lets it play around my balls and cock, sneaking up my arse from behind with the solid end and now also curling the tip around my lips and eyes. All the time I have to keep reading which is tricky. She tickles my feet and then starts to concentrate on working my cock and balls. Every time I pause the reading I get a reminder to keep going. I can hear Mistress laughing to herself; she is clearly enjoying my bewilderment and difficulties in keeping reading with all this teasing going on. Finally after three chapters Mistress has heard enough about great uncle Bulgaria and clever Tobermory and takes the book away. She undoes my left leg and wrist and puts the ball gag back in my mouth and orders me to play with myself.
As I start Mistress walks off and shortly returns with a little bowl. She sits down in front of me, digs her fingers in the bowl and comes out holding a lot of crushed ice which she then starts to rub all over my balls and cock. I flinch from the sharp cold sensation; the ice must be from the freezer as it intensely cold. Mistress keeps rubbing and my balls and cock become quite red and a glowing feeling starts. When the ice is finished I am told to continue playing with myself and the empty bowl is placed near the tip of my cock.
I feel aroused having to masturbate with Mistress looking on and encouraging me. The ball gag is making me feel deeply submissive and helpless. As I sit and masturbate drool runs down my chin and seeps under the hood. My cock is hyper sensitive after being rubbed with the ice. I can feel myself getting more and more aroused and the familiar tingling sensation of an approaching orgasm is getting stronger and stronger coursing through my loins and running up my cock, soon it will be unstoppable and the muscles will spasm around the base and pump out my cum.
I try to slow down the rhythm but however slowly I am now rubbing up and down the shaft, the feeling is getting inexorably stronger and then suddenly the familiar shivers run through my loins and the tingling races to the very tip of my cock. There is no returning or holding it back now and the muscles contract and pulse. I can only just avoid squirting some cum onto Mistress’ skirt as the first powerful squirts miss the little ice bowl. I carry on through the orgasm until I’ve totally released and the last spasms have subsided especially as Mistress doesn’t tell me to stop. At last it’s all gone and I feel spent.
Mistress is smiling and telling me off for almost spraying her like a tom, I lick some of the cum off my fingers but am quite pleased Mistress doesn’t make me swallow any of the rest from the bowl.
After I’ve cleaned up my cum from the floor with a wipe Mistress handed me she asks if I feel I can go on. I think I can, even though some of the sexual tension has gone I still feel like I’m in the right mood, so I say yes.
On that signal, Mistress gets out the spreader bar and orders me to lay down on my front. She fastens my ankles to the spreader bar and my arms straight back attach to the bar in the middle. Even though it is only the shorter of her two bars my legs are still spread wide apart and I am totally exposed from behind. Mistress puts a collar round my neck and attaches that to the bar with a chain. It all feels glorious once the cuffs on my hands and feet are securely attached and I can let go and lean against them. I revel in the feeling and totally give myself over to the position. I completely relax all my muscles and just lie there, my limbs held firmly in place by the bar and the cuffs. I enjoy the spread of my legs, how my arse and balls are exposed. I can feel the collar around my neck which forces me to hold my head slightly up although I can put it down but then breathing is more difficult - that makes me feel even more helpless and as I wriggle I can feel myself sinking deeper and deeper, reaching a trance state deeper than at any other time in the session. This is what I really REALLY need, the feeling is fantastic. All other worries and thoughts leave me. I am just an animal, a body now. I can feel every inch of skin tingle and have a buzzing feeling inside.
Once she senses I am ready to proceed, Mistress gets out some toys. I can hear a metallic clatter and I know she has the alligator clips ready.
One by one I can feel the clamps being lovingly and meticulously applied. The first clamp is put on right up where the perineum starts near my arse. Mistress then slowly works from my arse down carefully putting on more and more clamps moving on from the perineum onto my balls. I gasp at every one and marvel at how it feels. The skin is tingling and beginning to feel warm and tender. Every next clamp feels a little sharper and more intense. Mistress asks if I can take any more when she’s reached the base of my cock with clamps running all the way down from my arse. I say yes to which she replies let’s see if you can take this. I feel her take my cock, pulling it into view and rolling the foreskin up a little. There is a biting feeling as I can feel clamps being place on my foreskin. One off the clamps sits almost on the frenulum, the small fold of skin that attaches the foreskin to the glans, the most sensitive bit of all. As I can see on the photos later, I have a veritable little skirt of clamps arranged around my glans.
All I can feel by now is a very intense hot throbbing sensation which sends warm weak feelings coursing through my loins. I feel fantastic. Mistress occasionally ruffles the clamps already in place to enforce the feeling. It generates a sharp sensation and sends tremors traveling up my back and makes me wriggle in my bonds but there is gloriously no escape. I can feel my back arching and arms and legs tensing and relaxing, but it is like it is distant and I’m detached from it all just taking in the feelings and revelling in it.
It makes me wonder what the clamps would feel like now on my ears, nose and lips and perhaps even tongue…
Mistress caresses my back and bum cheeks and now starts sliding her finger through my arse crack and tentatively touches my hole. I shudder and gasp as she does so. I’m super sensitive now and every touch feels so intense. I want to be touched more and just manage to get my thoughts together enough to ask my Mistress to insert the butt plug. I hope I can take it, when I played with it myself I found it was too big to insert. Mistress laughs when I mention this and drips some lube on my arse and smears the butt plug itself and then seemingly effortlessly slides it in all the way. I can feel deep shivers running up and down me and have a light feeling in my stomach. The butt plug is stretching me but at the same time feels snug and reassuring.
While I’m still absorbing the sensations caused by the butt plug and can feel my arse muscles tightening and relaxing Mistress inserts something in the mouth of my cock. The sensation trumps all others and for a moment it is all I can feel, it must be the tooth pick. She slowly moves it in and out and gently rotates it. It is a strangely numb and yet intense sensation, like nothing you can feel on the surface of the skin. I hold my breath and try to feel it as much as I can.
My genitals and arse are a cacophony of feeling and sensations now. Mistress ruffles the clamps again, grabs the butt plug and moves it in and out which feels fantastic.
Mistress likes the sight of all the clamps and the plug topping it all off so she takes a few pictures of me trussed up and festooned like this.
After the photos Mistress returns to working the butt plug. A sudden powerful push on the butt plug is so overpowering it causes me to twitch and sends my left leg into a cramp, I have to get my left leg down so I very reluctantly say the safe word, Mistress acknowledges and releases my legs and massages to make sure the cramp goes away. She then removes the clamps one by one as they have become too powerful for me. Mistress likes the pattern the clamps have left on my skin.
The butt plug goes back in however and Mistress grabs my cock with her other hand and starts to masturbate me while also moving the plug in and out. This almost makes me climax once again but she stops just before I reach the tipping point and the sensations slowly ebb away again.
As I lie down with my legs stretched but still spread apart and my hands still tied to the spreader bar Mistress takes the butt plug out and proceeds to poke around in my anus with a thinner anal probe occasionally touching on the prostate. Whenever she touches it a wonderful feeling courses through my genitals and a warm weak feeling fills my abdomen. Wonderful! Mistress concludes I really like having my arse played around in and suddenly she is lying on top of me bearing down, whispering in my ear about me needing a good go with a strap-on. That would be wonderful...
Slowly the play winds down and Mistress releases my hands from the spreader bar. I roll onto my side and relax half curled up cherishing the afterglow of some of the sensations she gave me and slowly coming to.
I slowly roll onto my back, I'm lying on the towel and still luxuriating in some of the feelings I just experienced and am finally coming down from the trance like state the last few hours have induced in me. Mistress takes off my cuffs and collar and strokes my body and legs, patting me on my tummy. A bit like you might stroke and pat a or more likely a after a ride. It feels very comforting. I'm shivering a little. I don’t know whether it is the cold coming from the floor that I finally now feel or whether it is simply me exciting the trance. I would like a nice warm blanket to wrap around even though the room as such is nice and warm. Last time I was shivering so strongly that Mistress had to sit on me to let me calm down. Her weight on me felt good and the warmth coming from her felt even better but I shouldn’t expect a treat like that every time.
The stroking feels like a reward for being a good sub and taking the punishment and torture so well and being a fun toy to play with. It's like it says that Mistress is happy that I performed well. It is a wonderful finish to a wonderful experience.
PS To see pictures of some of the scenes in the blog above, please see my profile.
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Exquisite torture making a hedgehog
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Posted:Jan 15, 2012 2:21 pm
Last Updated:Jan 17, 2012 3:37 pm 8932 Views
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My second session! It feels much more relaxed than the first time a couple of weeks earlier. As I drive up I at least know where my Mistress lives and I also know how long the drive takes so some of the nerves of the first time are gone. I’m really looking forward to this session as the first one was wonderful.
When I arrive MsJo opens the door and even before I get a chance to kiss her on the neck commands me to strip off. She then berates me for making her floor dirty with my wet shoes. I make a note to wipe them more thoroughly next time and take them off straight away. I hope she won’t spank me for this although on the other hand a little part of me hopes that she will… a lovely dilemma. I strip to my panties – I am wearing the blue frilly ones with the almost see-through lacy front today – and we walk through to the living room.
I am not sure whether MsJo wants me to turn around but as soon as I start to turn she tells me off and makes it clear that I am not to do anything unless told to, so I apologise and keep looking at the wall and curtains.
MsJo then inspects me just like the first time but more thoroughly, like a plantation owner would have inspected a slave at market or probably more like a farmer at market would inspect a stallion or bull as there is quite some attention being paid to my genitals as well as my eyes, ears, nose and mouth. The inside of my pee hole is scraped with a little wooden spatula which scrapes and this feels sharply painful though bearable. Next is the inspection of my back passage, I am told to bend over and spread my bum cheeks, she then inspects my anus and inserts a couple of rubber gloved fingers quite some way up. I pass the test as they come out clean, for which I get complimented.
In fact MsJo seems quite pleased with the general state of me. I am pleased with that as I made quite an effort to be clean and groomed before the visit but it is difficult to keep your rectum clean!
I love being inspected, it sets the scene and allows me to enter into a state of submissiveness, let the control pass to my Mistress and just become a body, a toy to be played with. It also makes me feel quite vulnerable and exposed as I am totally naked while my mistress is fully dressed. All of which helps me to get “in the zone”.
After the inspection MsJo would like me to wear a cock ring but as I am still quite excited from the inspection it proves impossible to get it on. I simply can’t seem to get rid of my erection. I wonder whether that’ll earn me a spanking but MsJo is clearly feeling quite forgiving or maybe just the opposite as no spanking is forthcoming.
Next I am shackled to a chair behind a table and shown erotic pictures. I need to tell MsJo what goes through my mind with each of the pictures and then have to choose which I like best. I am getting all flustered as I have no idea where this is leading and what could follow on. In the end it turns out to have been a little experiment so she can get a better idea of what turns me on and how I respond to various variations and themes.
The table is then removed and I am now shackled to the chair with my legs and with my hands cuffed behind me. MsJo puts a blindfold on me but with the flaps over the eyes removed so I can still see. She places a plastic sheet on the floor underneath me and then disappears of to the kitchen. When she comes back she has a banana and a water bottle in her hands. She asks me whether I’ve ever used food items for sexual play. I tell her that my wife and I never tried anything other than a little yoghurt. MsJo kneels down in front of me. She peels the banana and slowly starts sucking and nibbling it in a most provocative way. I can feel I am getting an erection. The way she’s nibbled the banana now makes it look just like a penis and this makes it even worse, like she is giving it a blowjob. I am briefly confused, she did say that she wouldn’t ever use her mouth but it almost looks like she is about to do just that. MsJo leans closer and closer with every move and now she takes a part of the banana and turns it into a paste in her hands and then slowly starts to work my cock with it.
The moves are slow and subtle and she uses both hands. The feeling is fantastic, almost like being in a woman. More and more of the banana is used on my tummy, legs, balls and cock. I am reaching a stage where it is very hard to hold back but I have to fight it back as I am not allowed to come. I try to ignore the feelings and relax my genital muscles but it is touch and go.
Maybe MsJo senses this or maybe the banana is finished but suddenly there is a splash of cold water on my chest which cuts the feelings right off. I shiver, the water is freezing. She keeps squirting more over my arms and legs, right onto my still throbbing cock and then onto my back and in my neck. Every squirt is a shock, MsJo informs me she had placed the bottle in the freezer before I arrived so it would be really cold.
When the water torture is finished I am unshackled and told to stand up. The chair is removed and she cuffs my hands together in front of me and tells me to clean the floor.
Once the floor is clean a yoga mat is spread out on it and I am told to lie down on it on my back. MsJo stands over me and shows me the spreader bars she is going to fasten me onto. The blindfold is closed so I can’t see and MsJo then proceeds to spread my legs almost as wide as they can go and fastens each ankle to the spreader bar with a leather cuff. I test the bar and the cuffs and I can’t do anything to get my legs together anymore, all it achieves is a cramp in my buttocks so I relax into it to make it go away, which only just works. Lesson learned, I won’t try to fight those again as it would be too embarrassing to have to be released so soon. I just have to lie back and relax into it and whatever happens. Meanwhile MsJo has fastened my wrist cuffs to the other spreader bar which is positioned above my head so I now can’t do anything with my hands or arms anymore either. My nose starts to itch almost instantly...
I can hear MsJo walk out of the room. I try the cuffs on my wrists and like with the ankles there is no give at all. Totally incapacitated, no escape possible! A deep warm feeling of euphoria washes over me. I am totally helpless, completely exposed, she can reach everything, everywhere and do anything and it feels fantastic. I can feel my balls draw in up and the scrotum contract with anticipation, as if they could escape…. The feeling is quite overwhelming and I’m buzzing all over, it is great – this is what I’ve always fantasized about, I notice the itch in my nose has gone.
Then I hear MsJo enter the room again. There are metallic sounds as I sense her sitting down beside me. I would love for her to run her nails down my arms and up my legs but this doesn’t happen. I can hear her rummage through metal bits and then I feel a sharp searing stinging pain on the right side of my scrotum just below the base of my cock. It feels as if MsJo is threading a needle through it is that sharp but we discussed piercing last time and had agreed it was out of bounds. I decide that it must be my imagination and this is something else but what could be so sharply and intensely painful? It feels like the movement has stopped, whatever it is appears to be “in place” and the pain takes on a different quality, it transforms into something else but almost before I have the time to get my head around this new sensation the pain starts in a different place on my scrotum, a little bit down from the first one. This feels even sharper than the first one and I fear it is too much – should I use the safe word?
However, before I can utter the word the pain changes like the first into a different kind of sensation a very intense sharp feeling but not necessarily just pain. This is repeated several times and my scrotum is now a single ball of hurt, feels like it is on fire and is all I can think of. It has become my entire universe and I feel totally alone and absorbed in my sensations.
I’ve come to the conclusion that what MsJo is putting on must be pegs or clamps of some sort. Sometimes, especially when yet another clamp or peg is put on, it is the most intense pain but then in the pauses between each it changes and begins to be some throbbing sensation which is no longer painful though still sharp. I feel my breathing change and notice I am quietly moaning whenever a new peg is put on. Occasionally MsJo accidentally or deliberately disturbs a row of already placed pegs causing them to erupt instantly in a wave of fresh hurt.
The feeling is slowly building and something like endorphins must be being released or my mind rewiring and re-evaluating the sensations. I can feel my muscles relax and I am giving myself over to the feeling. I am just my scrotum now, it is all that I can feel and nothing else exists.
MsJo is now taking great care when she puts on each new clamp and is encouraging me by telling me I’m doing well and I’ve already taken more than she thought I could take on the first attempt. She then places some on my nipples as well but the feelings emanating from my loins are so powerful that I can barely feel these.
Eventually I can’t take anymore, the feeling no longer transforms and stays pain, I utter the safe word and MsJo stops. She praises me and takes some pictures of the “hedgehog” she’s created before gently removing the clamps.
She is being kind and takes them off by opening the clamp rather than just pulling it off. Not sure that I could have handled that by now.
Once the clamps are off I am left totally tingling and feeling somewhat lightheaded. I almost feel like crying but also like laughing. I’m beginning to shiver uncontrollably and don’t know whether it is the after effects of the cold water or something else. I have loads of emotions running through me and spasms going through my whole body, waves of relaxation and tension compete with the shivering and I ask MsJo to pin me down which she does by sitting on my legs. She undoes my ankle cuffs and stays sitting on me until I calm down.
I really feel like I need comforting now and she seems to sense this and starts running her nails down my arms and chest and caressing my hands. I slowly come out of my trance. I can barely fight back the urge to give MsJo a big hug. I’ve never felt such strong sensations. It wasn’t an orgasm as such but the feelings of release and relief were unbelievable. I know it couldn’t have lasted any longer than it did but with hindsight I wish it would. I stay lying there for a while trying to stay in that zone but eventually MsJo coaxes me to get up and finish the session.
I’ll definitely hope she’ll allow me back for more, though I know next time will be different and that this can never quite be repeated.
I am so pleased I decided to try it out for real and not leave it as a fantasy for the rest of my life!!
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Masturbation frustration
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Posted:Nov 20, 2011 5:41 am
Last Updated:Nov 20, 2011 9:49 am 8066 Views
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I’ve only just been taken under the wings of my new Mistress MsJo68 for basic training as a submissive.
Despite having fantasies about BDSM for years until now I had never found the courage to take any steps to make it come true for me.
I knew I was a submissive and had played around with being tied up by my partner but as she is herself submissive and in addition to that not interested in playing “games” that did not really work. I tried it again later when I had a brief affair with a friend but although she liked the physical aspects she was not into domination and I ended up still in control regardless of being tied down!
Thanks to BDSM.com I have now finally found a lady who is truly a Domme and is interested in the kind of games that involves. We’ve not met so far, I haven’t even spoken to her yet, but she has already taken the first few steps and is already controlling certain aspects of my life.
She made me perform a number of tasks as part of her vetting process and I managed to perform those to her satisfaction so now I’m in training.
The first command received was “NO PLAYING WITH YOURSELF unless instructed to do so”. This was five days ago and I’m amazed at the effect this is having on my mind and even physical state.
Let me digress briefly and explain how I view the sub/dom “game”:
The basis for submission within BDSM is of course that the submissive partner agrees to be controlled. Ultimately this is the conundrum at the heart of the game, it is the sub who is really in control. The dominant partner is given and allowed their control by the sub. This means that the partners do have to abide by the rules of the game to make it work. As soon as the submissive partner agrees with their dominant partner that they can be controlled, then the sub really is obliged to follow and obey the dominant partner’s commands. If they don’t, then the game does not work, the spell is broken and all the potential enjoyment of the situation is lost.
I am a sub. I don’t know to what extent and what kind of aspects I will really love or hate as I’m new to doing it for real but I do know that I definitely want to be dominated. I want to hand over control to someone else and just lose myself in whatever happens to me. I envisage it as a sort of out-of-body experience where I as a person observe from a distance what is happening with my body as it is controlled by someone else’s will. The thought of my body belonging to someone else as a sort of toy is very exciting to me. So it is very important that when I do give that commitment to someone I do as I’m told and stick to it unless it would be harmful to me in some way. In which case we’d need to sit down and discuss boundaries again.
So back now to the “NO PLAYING WITH YOURSELF”, this command arrived five days ago now and I’ve stuck to it with great enthusiasm. I never knew I thought about sex and felt the urge to fiddle with my bits quite as often as I now appear to. Maybe it is the simple fact that I was told not to do it that makes me think about it even more but it is getting ever more powerful.
At first I simply didn’t play with myself but as the days have gone by I now find myself taking it ever further to really do it justice and so now I’m actively avoiding any unnecessary touching of my cock and balls. I hold my cock to pee but avoid touching the balls as much as I can when getting it out and tucking it back in and when washing I try to minimise the moves so they are not pleasurable in any way. I must say I’m beginning to feel like a very good boy and thinking about it gives me an erection and a lovely tingling sensation down there. The feeling is almost as good as having an orgasm from masturbation.
Without ever having met, MsJo has me by the balls already and she now controls those bits down there. It makes me feel all warm inside and very submissive. It also makes me wonder how much I would be able and willing to surrender to her control. It’s an interesting journey so far.
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Naked in the corner
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Posted:Nov 3, 2011 9:18 am
Last Updated:Nov 6, 2011 5:34 am 8611 Views
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I stood in the corner again today, naked, and thinking about standing in front of my mistress naked and blindfolded. I had been instructed to do this by MsJo68 who I hope will accept me as one of her subs.
As I really was naked, it was not difficult to imagine the feelings of vulnerability and helplessness I would have in that situation. I had shivers running down as I thought about what MsJo might do with me in that situation. It was really exciting contemplating where she might touch and what that touch would be.
I pictured myself standing in the middle of a bare room with cold stone walls, standing on a cold stone floor. MsJo was walking around me contemplating what to do and I could hear her heels clicking but had no inkling of what she would do. The feeling of being totally exposed was overpowering.
I imagined all the various things she could touch like my face, nipples, tummy, buttocks, hands, balls, cock and thighs. Would she tickle or scratch, stroke or strike, perhaps use a paddle or cane or even riding crop or whip. Maybe she’d grab hold of my balls or maybe take my hands and tie me up before doing anything… or indeed perhaps ask me to open my mouth and pull out my tongue and then tie it down or put in a gag.
Some thoughts turned me on enormously others made me go limp again. At the same time I was also scared; what if it would hurt too much and I couldn’t take it? Would I let myself down? But in a strange way those fears added to the feeling of submission and helplessness.
Standing there expectantly awaiting and prepared to accept whatever was coming, being unable to see what was being prepared and where and how it was going to be delivered filled me with feelings of trepidation, uncertainty and vulnerability and was very enjoyable.
MsJo had forbidden any touching so I could not indulge my feelings, which became frustrating in the end but it also created a deep warm sensation of being helpless and at her mercy.
So far I’ve only had the fantasies as I’ve not passed the final hurdles in proving myself worthy of MsJo yet but it has already been quite an interesting experience and exploration of my feelings.
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