On the tide of learning !
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Posted:Jan 30, 2024 3:42 pm
Last Updated:Jan 31, 2024 4:08 pm 3555 Views
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Having dodged mainstream learning I felt I could now add bits n pieces to fulfill my quest for knowledge.
I had not been brainwashed in the usual ways (I'd been brainwashed in appalling ways)and I'd often been asked what was my secret.
To my unageing appearance.
I'd simply rejected any notion of time being in control, I also wasn't attached to anyone whom demanded that I age.
But there could be other things going on and I feel the strangest thing, a pull that's drawing me backwards through time.
It reminds me of that time out in the desert at night exploring that remote mountain that seemed to be at the center of alien activity.
I'd been tasked to take a device in my backpack that could sense any vibrations inside the mountain that could be caused by the factory beneath where the craft were made.
I got to that untroubled and set the machine down and layed back to enjoy the beautiful night sky.
It wasn't long before I felt the energy and its effects.
Some kind of unearthly pull was gripping me and trying to suck me into another space.
My watch had stopped so I shook it but still nothing. I'd put my finger on that moment to explain how I'd got on that different road.
I'm guessing the aliens had somehow short circuited time to their advantage.
I felt a fear that somehow I'd never be completely normal again.
That some new thing had found a home in me.
As time went on it would become more apparent and everyone I knew would be getting older and die and I kept feeling even younger.
I had the joints of a young person too and I went on long runs feeling invigorated, and wonderfully alive.
I'd come to lots of conclusions that may not be represented in the classroom curriculum.
One was about windows, and it was smack bang about at the heart of personal development.
It was that when you seem ready an opportunity to advance was slipped your way.
It was window to a new space but only temporarily available and if you didn't accept it then you could wait for the next window.
Sometimes those windows were outright scary.
One time just out of the blue a wonderful feeling filled me, but what was I supposed to do with that?
I hoped I'd sleep and wake up feeling normal again. in my hardened depressed, sarcastic state.
I felt bullet proof like that.
I liked my serious look framed in my curly hair.
It spoke of the discordance in my being.
I decided to accept any windows that would come my way and meditate more.
Cayce was an average unexceeding student when he was given a gift.
He could suddenly remember all the book titles and authors in his list.
Other things too and this is what I mean by a window.
The mind .the real mind is hidden, locked away from your normal thinking human.
It is like a tool cabinet that lay quiet, unopened till some need is there.
I'd had this problem of describing how schizophrenia worked to a jury, to help understand how culpable they were.
Not every schizo has alter personalities that totally consumed them in a Jeckle & Hyde way.
But the loss of the "middle ground" the feel good place that felt like it is in the center meant you could swing violently between the countering forces on the sideline.
If someone was nice to you you felt wonderful and conversely if they taunted you you seeped with a revengeful rage.
It was so ridiculous the way you could be controlled.
So this is how I described what could be going on.
You also had the ability to explore all the unused secret chambers that lurked in the mind.
No barriers to what others were thinking and contact with spirits, from previous lives.
o there I lay feeling those forces trying to suck me down into the mountain and I dropped into an uncomfortable dream and I learned a lot about the aliens, and what they were doing.
the way they hunted with tools we have no conception of. The war they fought against the 'matrex' Gods who'd rather be left undisturbed.
They'd hear the knock on the door and feel a chill that they'd been found. Not safe anymore.
The aliens were trying to depose the rulers of the matrex to be in control themselves.
It had been a frustrating fight for them, finding a home that suited them where they'd be left alone to do their work.
The Earth was that place where the inhabitants were technologically challenged and their minds could not grasp the higher order that ran things.
They played their stupid wars over boundaries and their corrupt leaders were only intent on living off the profit of the few who worked.
They were becoming stupid too and reading was like a lost art with few doing it anymore.
Where were they heading? A split was opening up between them and some wanted to do what they could to reverse the destruction and return the Earth to a time in the deep past where simple values and ways meant you had a lot of time and didn't need to do a whole lot.
What is a life ? I was just wondering that recently when a guy claimed he'd done 800,000 klms in his car. He was getting past middle aged no and busy as ever, and you know living closely with animals who here one minute gone the next amplified the disparity. We'd become something completely nuts !
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About math and the matrex.
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Posted:Jan 29, 2024 9:59 pm
Last Updated:Jan 30, 2024 5:28 am 4160 Views
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Not going to school could be argued as an advantage by some.
I don't get far before getting confused.
Like if 2by2=4 then this is not represented as a line. And 2by2by2 needs 3 dimensions to draw it. 2by2by2by2 needs a little imagination to draw it. Many say they've done it. So at some point by adding powers we may conclude that at some point it is a theoretical proposition and not real anymore.
Maybe teachers can't explain that.
I wondered about the odds of winning at lottery.
And could a super quantum computer work out that it's rigged !!!
Rigged by the matrex !
It generally favored the most worthy, the ones who scored the highest in worthiness.
Well if i had been born a with a lawyers knowledge I would have know how I was being transgressed and I would have fought for my rites and operated normally.
But that didn't happen, which is why we need to look out for each other.
To put predators behind bars.
I tend to think that there is another law and I'm gaining cudos in that.
The matrex or whatever you want to believe is out there.
I learned from my only book of a way to deal with it, to not grab at retribution but to let higher powers deal with it.
And deal with it they did.
In their own time.
Observation is a powerful tool and this may have once been the only tool.
Long before science and thinking machines.
It's my opinion that the Egyptians worked that way, deducing about beyond life, the resurrection of souls.
My own little puzzle, one that tickles me was when on a day of inclement weather some golfers viewed a challenging shot across a ravine and their balls would be caught by the wind and sent short into the dividing ravine.
Somehow a challenge was given to the aboriginal caddy to have a go at the shot.
He accepted and not being a golfer himself he examined curiously the club he was given.
He viewed the target, the green over the ravine and seemed to have some communication going on, with someone, something, then when ready he stood well back and launched himself into shot Happy Gilmore fashion and sent the shot on its way.
They couldn't see where it landed but it looked to have reached the green, a feat that the golfers could not do.
They were delighted to see such a shot and tempted the aboriginal to do it again which he did with the same ritual, and the same result, another amazing shot.
When they got to the green they found both balls in the hole.
A double hole in one!
I'm assuming that the simulation that we live in has a sense of humour.
That if you created a situation that could be answered by humour that it may be done.(If two of you (christians) agree on something then it shall be done.)
It is that I was viewing some of Carl Sagan's stuff and he had a very bright mind and ideas that were very impressive and were logical bands of thinking.
One idea is about how the devices we employ are beyond our own powers of understanding or creation.
Billions have been put into making chips for example and have failed, like China trying to match Taiwan.
So a little beyond me! We have new carbon based ones under development and these will be so tiny that really a spy device may be one day the size of a blowfly.
Flying around secret places like area 51 unnoticed. Anyway I guess Sagan is saying that the perils that surround and control you are also beyond what you can make. s
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The day the aliens disappeared !
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Posted:Jan 29, 2024 2:24 pm
Last Updated:Jan 29, 2024 8:26 pm 3842 Views
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It all came to me in a vision. It was just after the alien activity was at a frenzy with sighting everywhere then "poof" they were gone. Why?
Did they know something? About fate and the natural consequences of becoming too much of a burden for the planet.
Or was it that the aliens had planted the destruction themselves. to rid the earth of humans?
Some of us were tuned to listen, to ask what was going on.
Well the aliens had detected a an enemy from long ago and it was their instinct to run.
It was the real reason the aliens had not been frank with us, not because we weren't worthy of knowing about them but because "loose lips sink alien ships"!
Skirmishes had occured before , before the flood and it had taught them to be more careful.
This new crop of aliens are the ones who will attack us and the other aliens with a long history on the Earth will do their bit to overthrow them and the battles in the sky was really the alien battles though some religious types put a spin on it, describing a battle between good and bad, of angels against demons.
The good aliens had built an ark and planned to recolonize all the species on Earth if total annihilation occured.
I found I'd lost connection with my current self and had restored my long lost soul.
The writer whom I was from the past.
If I had have become a fully fledged female I would have fit right in, but now I was "betwixt" the sexes and free from the devices of nature.
A good state to be I thought.
Christmas was coming and Charlotte and some other 'girls' T's were visiting and they loved the land I'd been given, finding beautiful spots to enjoy eachother in perfect peace.
A lot of places to swim too and a challenging climb that often took you above the clouds.
It was a magical place to do that and would put a burn in your thighs if you weren't used to it.
Most of the girls had tiny "T" bits but candy was a big girl, and she wore candy colored lipstick that matched her colored girl look admirably.
Big in the way that kept you wary of her, and if you did a good job pleasuring her with your tongue and mouth you could possibly escape her more aggressive pursuits.
The girls whispered about her behind her back, "OMG I ached for a week down there"! Or "Her cum kept cumming, it was like being filled by a firemans hose "!
I had a foster parent who was on the lookout for a friend for her , she wanted her to be safe in her partner so asked a lot of questions.
There was a lot of wild parklands near home and it was there her advances took place.
It was always telling when we got home what we'd been up to.
   Many times since I'd fallen asleep whilst remembering those exploits.
I spent time on an aircraft carrier too.
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Deluded but.......................
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Posted:Jan 28, 2024 3:35 pm
Last Updated:Jan 29, 2024 10:49 am 4224 Views
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The sexbuds were screaming !!!
Everywhere I went I was attracting attention.
It was a predatory word afterall, or did they also want a piece of the action?
The odd thing about trying to remember it was that you felt like you had to recreate the same sensations to do that.
Or it just didn't work.
I decided to go on a trip with my new "Ufo" buddies and they assured me it wasn't just about being put in a line tranced, waiting to have your anus probed, but there was surely some into that.
I recounted my suspicions that we were living in a matrex and they went quiet when my story got to the "proof" bit.
Encounters I'd had with beings from another dimension.
I explained how I could slide through walls at will so nothing could imprison me.
Jake liked that saying prison sucks anyway man.
A lot of my friends finished up there.
We'd dropped off at a small township where they'd seen a lot of "shit" happening and we were told to wait for Shady Sam to come in for his usual beer and stories.
I could tell he was nuts before I'd even met him.
It was like 'join the club'.
We had a hill in mind where a lot of strange things were going on and they planned to use my talents to get a look around in there.
A girl emerged from the state she was in to pipe in about "them" having tunnels that ran all across the globe.
The 'greys' were very methodical and were somehow programmed to behave like bees to be part of something larger.
When I did get out there it felt wonderful to enjoy the nighttime on my own.
I took out my small pocketlight to view the map to find my bearings.
They'd obviously be aware of my presence if I got too close.
But then who knew what they could do?
I screwed the nightvision lens on and zoomed in on my surroundings.
I wondered how the alien craft exited the place without any door involved.
Perhaps being interdimensional meant doors weren't needed anymore.
It wasn't like you slip though the opened door unnoticed to take a look around. But my talents could do things differently.
Telepathically !
I imagined they had a "Queen" in control, a superbrain that stayed focused on what their goals were.
Obviously people would see it as too late to resist their plan as they hadn't understood from where the attack would come.
Now it was quite common for fisherman to see those lights under the surface and it scared the hell out of them, racing back to the shore and needing to be calmed down before they could relate what they saw.
Then something drew my attention, made the skin of my neck crawl to warn me, that something knew of my presence.
It was time to take a blue pill, and wait to be accepted into the matrex.
There I would be an equal with the powers to match or even surpass theirs.
There I could stand equal with the forces that held mainstay on the events that were soon to happen.
The events mentioned in the revelation.
It was no place for fools, and only the worthy could enter.
The one's who'd proved themselves.
How did the aliens figure against that?
Did they plan on taking control of the matrex?
As if launching a coup, kicking the old ruler out into the dust of the street.
It was an ambitious plan if that's what it was.
Humans obviously had no part in it from the aliens perspective.
They were too stupid to even realize that their weapons were under alien control. No nukes could work under their control.
As the pill started to take control I felt a release and was transported back in time to a turn in the road that unexpectedly made a mess of things.
The whole world was shaken to its core.
Old places were cursed and filled in with rocks, because the Gods weren't happy and had brought on the destruction.
I'd read that a boulder a hundred miles wide would produce a mile high wave if it struck the deep ocean.
It was thought 90% of the population would succumb and their secrets would be lost.
The secrets about the technology given to them by aliens of how to move and shape those great stones.
There was a point where human technology was at its height and from there the knowledge would become lost.
Maybe remnants could still be found under the sea, in places like Atlantis.
A place Cayce spoke about in his readings.
Now some claim it's 2024 that Cayce warned about, but not by humans doings but something greater!
Lands would rise and fall and new continents would be born.
It was afterall a vulnerable speck of rock we lived on. I lost myself thrashing him, those little tight ass cheeks seemed destined for my punishment. AI could fill in the details and he was good at that. When I watched what he'd done thoughts about him being "a sick little puppy", made me both applaud and be revulsed by him.
He had friends too, who were into the same. It required an interracial participation and they wondered if I was interested in helping them. I supposed I owed them that ! My schizophrenia loved it too ! 
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Only half the job done and the grapes of wrath!
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Posted:Jan 26, 2024 3:20 pm
Last Updated:Jan 26, 2024 7:03 pm 3906 Views
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I'd learned from a hard life on how a battle could be won, and my nimble body and quick kicks never let me down.( busted kneecaps and busted balls among my speciality)
An agreement was made behind my back and I took it gladly as I really wasn't the person I'd been forced to become. My father always unhappy about the half cooked girl he'd finished up with.
He blamed the doctor for not producing as he'd promised.
The same problems dogged me everywhere though and even on my uncles farm the bad ones showed up to resume the fight.
Not all were bad and the gen X's had been brought up well in the bush schools to be more accepting.
I'd grown up a wordless freak too, being branded as autistic left in the class to ponder my own thoughts.
It was so insulting to be in that special class of misfits who really were the stupid ones.
I laughed so much watching the scene in Billy Madison of Billy making fun of the who couldn't get the words out.
It really was like that in my class.
I soon found I loved to read and it created a vitality in me, inspired me to bigger thoughts and as it was initially only the bible I read as that was the only book I had, I soon saw myself as a rider on one of those horses of doom.
The revelation was my thing.
People loved it too and I was often told about a b&y who impressed by knowing all the psalms, exact numbers and all and he'd pull the right one out for the trouble he was seeing at that moment.
I had no doubt he was real as on my travels he'd regularly show up in peoples recollections.
I never did meet him.
I couldn't slew what I was doing to that, had no desire for it.
Then it all came out of the blue so quick, what turns would quickly shape my new life.
Uncle was sick and it wasn't till after he was gone that I understood how he was preparing me to take over his role of managing the land properly.
And loving everything that lived in it.
Even the dead trees were stuff he loved and it was their artistic function or maybe even a dire message on how things would end.
I loved that about the start of the movie Labyrinth, the way the captured the sky.
I am so impressed by that and it is an offshoot of the film for me that impressed me so much.
I made my own film later on that took on this storyline and I built it up slowly to the crushing and inescapable conclusion.
I found The grapes of wrath in my dead uncles stuff and decide to read that.
Also chariots of the gods and some others like that and my interest in the other side, aliens and lost races all fed my very curious soul.
I became so lost in that that I closed the gates, pad locked them so I could avoid any distractions that tried to anchor me to the past that I had no interest it.
I meditated and by some miracle I defeated that clod wrenching bi-polar disorder and emerged into a new fresh existence.
I'd escaped from what I thought I'd surely die with.
I'd found a heroine too, he was named Noah and he and I were very alike.
Of few words and no interest in the usual games of life.
It was the wilderness or nothing, do or die, whatever it brings.
The alien thing reached out a had too and met some or those "freaks' out on a mission.
They were looking for a hill where it was rumored could be a base of some sort where the aliens built craft that could fly silently and fast !
Why no? Why not get involved. I still felt my uncles spirit and I gathered he was interested in stuff like that.
His whispers too from the other place could be insightful and may be even warnings of places not to go.
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Dark pasts !
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Posted:Jan 24, 2024 1:33 pm
Last Updated:Jan 28, 2024 1:41 am 3953 Views
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One problem with the mechanics institute [mechanics workshop] was the quiet
Once you were "in" and could be trusted then the scores of the past would be told and you'd find out the ways people acted had reasons for that.
Some things went back to bitter disputes generations ago and they always kept their distance.
It made it hard for newcomers as they didn't realize the lines that they'd crossed.
They assumed I knew nothing but some things got whispered to me.
One old man quiet of tongue and meek and unassuming had once killed a b&y and although an accident it never left him.
I used his name in a welcoming consoling gesture to let him know I wasn't being critical of him.
Another had done time for an act that sent his parents to grog and early deaths.
But some had built attachments from bonding at school.
The bush could be like that.
Where I grew up in the city it had turned into all out war.
I got sent away to the bush to help my uncle run his farm.
I learned to love the quiet and began to wonder about nature.
If you got up early and went for a walk to had to use the wide tracks as spiders would have been busy during the night to weave their beautiful webs amongst the trees.
The morning dew would weigh them down then with the morning sun they'd quickly dry and the newly hatched insects would succumb and have very short lives.
The spiders too interested me, how they'd keep their distance from the trapped fly until it had no escape then pounce to poison it with their fangs.
It was often when the wind picked up as the Earth warmed that the webs started to disappear and no doubt birds and animals finished of the spiders hard and dexterous work.
It was my time to wait, and I wondered if civilization would ever take me back.
A prospector had his patch and the rule was that you never dug at somebody else's patch.
I borrowed uncles torch and melted stuff to make a 'nugget' all shiny and looking like gold and I snuck into that miners patch and dug a neat hole and stuck my nugget in and packed it in tight.
Then I strolled along the track just at the right moment to catch him working and offerd to help him move his dirt down to the creek to wash it through his sluice.
His eyes lit up when he spotted my fake nugget and then it was a dance on the creek bank that I joined in, felt like doing a rain dance, but then on second thoughts he realized it wasn't heavy enough.
"You put that there!" There was no escaping his accusing look. Would I have to run for it like when I played jokes on my father? My ass was in for it then, and his parts would become loose when he took the belt out.
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No wounds for the wicked ! A poisoned planet !
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Posted:Jan 23, 2024 3:35 pm
Last Updated:Jan 24, 2024 7:49 pm 3623 Views
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They kept spraying the golf course with poison and I noticed it in my lungs. Local animals were found dead, poisoned but no one did anything. I stopped going there and soon felt better.
Now youth crime was up and they seemed to have everything, good health ,young and bothered by a boner they'd wake up to but maybe that demanding urge was an annoyance and the older b@ys told them that only wankers played with it.
Now it was the serious business of war that needed their attention.
And finding lucrative scams, and opportunities to turn a buck.
So far when caught the parents get no blame for their siblings crimes.
Gangs were well weaponized too.
Society was falling into a hole with no way to save it.
I said to the girl "You know there's something strange going on around here!"
The shops are always empty of certain items.
like stuff you'd want in an apocalypse is disappearing off the shelves.
I said to her that I thought I was the only one doing strange stuff like that but now I had competition.
It was a battle being fought out between the preppers.
She laughed, having no idea about the crazy ones preparing for the apocalypse.
For me I got high on the feeling of the coming emergency.
I'd kept the old truck too that could run when all the other electronic things got sizzled in the EMP burst.
It was that bad, yet few saw it coming.
I'd made it a habit to buy more fuel cans and to fill them up on my weekly shopping trips.
People seemed to be walking around in a daze, with no way to make ends meet!
They'd been feeding of the credit cards hoping something would turn up.
My grip on reality had morphed somewhat and watching Alita battle angel taught me to harden up to weather the storm.
My girl had nothing hard about her.
Just a fresh smile and the cutest little laugh.
She was too benign to have got through, you'd have thought.
Reminds me of Seinfeld's take on sausage dogs. How did evoution allow them to get by?
I knew the invaders would seek their position behind the boulders so I wired them.
Not with explosives but with communications devices so I could talk to them.
"Dig below you and you'll find food !""then just piss off because I've got no other way to help you!
I'd teach the girl in the ways to become a warrior, like Battle angel Alita.
Where to find food if caught ontop.
How to find my stashes.
It was crazy stuff I know,but it kept me busy !
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Took my finger off the pulse !
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Posted:Jan 22, 2024 5:33 pm
Last Updated:Jan 23, 2024 2:57 pm 4420 Views
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One thing led to another and soon I was smack bang in my past.
A battery failed in my computer and instead of rushing to fix it I thought hang on a minute.
Let's evaluate this new state of play and maybe even get into it permanently.
I found the old xp and strangely it did kick back to life but the date was stuck on 2008 when I remember buying it.
I had to reset it before firefox would let me play again.
But utube would not run.
Something that had me firmly in its grasp had get go long enough to let its grip slip.
But that was good hey? Now as I didn't watch tv anymore and now with no tube I may as well let the fuel in the generator run out and light some candles instead.
I decided that higher powers were teaching me something.
A girl I really liked had cleaned up her mess and even her teeth showing me that there were no gaps there now, and what a cutie.
I rarely saw her on her own and she admitted that I was her favorite.
Next morning I woke up in a different state of mind. Hard and feeling young again, full of excitement, and that stuck with me even when gaining full consciousness.
I guess my dream had been answered.
The general populus was poisoned to me but this girl had slipped through to say hey I'm here !
Everything around me was suddenly old and I installed a dvd player that I'd bought once and forgot about.
Looking through the dusty pile of dvds I found some old survivors.
I remember watching some of these when they were on tele maybe 15 years ago so now I throw one in the machine and watched the bandy legged little troll on crack perform his magic.
Parvati had a devilish laugh too and I seem to remember this finishing up with Russel and Parv fighting it off in the final.
It was put to him that he'd been fighting a loosing battle all along as he could never beat parv in the final, but he did win an award for being an enjoyable player to watch. His antics that is.
There's also a series with oz and I loved that for the enjoyable challenges in the sea on that pacific island.
Magazines sat on the table from long ago too and I wondered what trick had taken time from me.
But now I was back, my old happy self again , older but wiser and I knew the traps to watch out for.
I'd show the girl my favorite parts in my wilderness and let her feed my pets.
The Summer had delivered some delightful cool breezy days that invigorated the soul.
Life was good !!!!!
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Legacies and apeshit !
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Posted:Jan 21, 2024 10:41 pm
Last Updated:Jan 29, 2024 6:08 pm 3877 Views
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Pathetic really! Civilization has its share of detractors.
A lot of feel gooders too.
A pleasant park by a popular road gets bushes with berries that get sprayed in Summer when the tourists are about looking for a pleasant place by the road to stop and let the k&ds stretch their legs.
Then if they're lucky a local farmer in the know may spot them and stop to warn them that the berries have just been sprayed.
No law exists that says signs need to be put up warning of the poisoning.
People leave behind legacies.
One is that the land is sinking because the deep down groundwater is being tapped to grow crops.
Crops for food, no not always as corn is often grown to turn into ethanol.
So future people who need land and water for food can point to the problem people brought about years earlier.
Now utube which I used to love is full of AI dribble.
Soupy scripts read by auto script and by the comments people are waking up to it.
Some still have real people saying stuff and they can be wildly popular.
Like better bachelor that's going off the charts in popularity and eager involvement.
Such a great place to get something off your chest.
I added a mild comment that got put at the top and now thousands have commented and discussed what I said.
I'm always trying to create controversy.
At the mechanics institute I caught myself telling another whopper.
I'd broached the subject about how 2024 was shaping up, with prophetic types taking snipes at catastrophic things shaping up.
Everyone had their say then something that was itching at me found the right pause to find its way out, that once the target measures to still or reduce the global temperatures fails dismally then other more drastic measures will be made by the rich controlling few to cull the race down to manageable levels to save the Earth.
Is that what virus research is really about?
A failsafe if people can't live greener and keep on polluting the atmosphere?
They loved it!
No opposition at all only resigned comments that that's where we'll finish up.
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