SUNDAY 23 APL 2133HRS
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Posted:Apr 23, 2023 2:01 pm
Last Updated:May 3, 2024 9:23 am 785 Views
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THE SECOND PARADISE ROAD TRIP, didnt happen as weather was shit most of the day. woke early with the runs, new blood pressure pills i think, they may lower pressure but coughing is like playing russian roulet with a automatic pistol. after that went back to bed till 1000hrs. then took pills thought about going out but didnt. about 1200hrs went to the gym pumping iron, have to work of the cream tea lol. then had a nice sauna as they are both working again..
popped into town to wilko's to get bird seed and they where also selling water mint ! so bought the 3 last ones they had. 2 for my pond and one to go at the edge of the hive pond. they must have mis priced tem as all 3 came to 75p.
covered the new plug plants that where delivered while i was out, i planted them in the tower flower pot and hanging baskets and covered with recycling bags as due a frost tonight.
today ive had sugar free alpine with extra nuts, i know cos it said so on the box but didnt have any in my bowl ? and 2 posh pot noodles. 1 coconut and long tick noodles and the other thia red curry, quite filling but zero meat. so the sea bass fillets i got out the freezer will be breakfast with scrambled eggs i think.
getting foot done in morning then if weatgers better off to folkstone or ramsgate ?
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SAT 22 APL 2347HRS
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Posted:Apr 22, 2023 4:15 pm
Last Updated:May 3, 2024 9:23 am 579 Views
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HAD foot done early 0830hrs after a phone call from OPAT at 0800hrs, as they were short staffed could i come in now ?
Afterwards sat in the car and thought what shall i do now? and for no other reason than its years since ive been, drove to BATH. last time i think i went was with my im not sure if i went there with the ex, i keep forgetting things . Despite the level of trim on my new car is no where near the level of the one i handed back, (i can have the rear windows tinted for £160 AFTER THAT THE ONLY DIFFERENCE would be front spot lights, the jury is out as to if i can have them fitted.). The dashboard display for the mpg showed an average of 56 at 70mph, BUT the constant up date on the dash board showed 95 mpg ay 70mph ???
went all that way, had the car treated with a ultra shiney polliner wax for £23, a cream tea at the OK caral and shoot out tea rooms, and came home again. I recon cost me £10 to £15 in fuel, but was a nice day out but would have been better if it had been shared with some one else.
On FB i posted it as did it yesterday , (as FB says dont post your doing it now, for security reasons).
if its nice sunday i may go to Folkstone just for fish n chips .
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FRI 21 APL 0415HRS
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Posted:Apr 20, 2023 8:40 pm
Last Updated:Apr 20, 2023 8:40 pm 830 Views
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FEEL HAPPIER after a phone chat. got new car BUT....
Almost wish I had kept my 4 year old Nero now. The new one does less mpg, no tinted rear windows but does have bigger boot front seats are higher and its Kia's version of Orange, I think its more brown myself but it is a 23 plate
live insects arrived for both ponds and while putting them in the hive pond i saw 4 tadpoles !!! bugger knows what they have been feeding on as there was almost no life in the water.
did the gym, had foot done where shall i drive my new jaffa mobile today ?
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MON 17 APL 1710HRS
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Posted:Apr 17, 2023 9:36 am
Last Updated:Apr 17, 2023 9:37 am 880 Views
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TODAY IN THE MOTORING PARADISE WOT IS THE A127. i had the chance to study at great depth and for a long long long time the extensive vegetation growing under the underpass from the A130 / A127 as at first the traffic lights where not working and stuck on red, then a daring BMW driver thought he could just nip over the crossing before the big lorry got there. he couldnt and his nice bmw became a front grill ornament on a very big italian lorry ! Oh how the other drivers in the traffic que laughed to see such fun !
Finally I got to Swallows pond shop and picked up some fresh water prawns to go in both my and the hive ponds.
It was only then i thought how hungry i was so as my car now does 89 miles per gallon at 60mph, now the engines worn in, i went to MITZU for lunch, i had ex's fav but couldnt finish it all ! i thought about getting a doggy bag or infact ordering a take out and delivering it to her as a surprise, but then thought better of that idea, in case she thought i was being 'pushy' ,,,,see i can now concider others feelings which before i never did . though sitting in Mitzu i suddenly felt very alone and lost like the world was crashing in on me. I know why and the reason but thats how i feel
tonight ill have aa cold roast pork sarnie or a green thai pot noodle curry, or both.
Phoned kia and said unless you can give me a defo delivery date for my new car ill cancell my order and go some where else. lol it will be here THURSDAY, but motorbility now say for £3000 i can buy outright the one i have, wish id known that before giving the kiddies the money lol. i could buy it for 3k and sell it to Adrian for 6k, as he offered me 6 to 7k when i was there before. i could take the money out of my pention pot,,,,
lets see whats on tv tonight or i could bore my arse off in the alt chatroom
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SUN 16 APL 1800HRS
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Posted:Apr 16, 2023 10:24 am
Last Updated:May 3, 2024 9:23 am 996 Views
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WHAT A SUNNY DAY IN PARADISE !
THOUGH theres no point in being in paradise if theres no one to share the joys of southend sea front ect.
had foot done this morning and bloods, last bloods, last week, showed EVERYTHING AS NORMAL. everything was within the normal limits, not too low and not too high.as near perfect as i can hope for with a fucking hole in my foot
on a more poss noe the sunday once a week weigh in, lost 1.2K so now im UNDER 110. NOT BY MUCH BUT 109.8. THAT MEANS SINCE LAST JAN IVE LOST 58Kg 58 !!!
after that went to tesco at baz to get my beard and hair cut but id have to wait till 1400hrs so ill go to the local place monday.
bought some fresh water mini shrimp to go in the hive pond to improve its ecology. On sat the post office claimed they delivered 50 water louse but didnt so i call the post office and they confirmed the tracking number had been delivered sat. when i said i didnt have it they put me onto their investigation dept. today i got an e mail from the supplier saying the louse would be posted monday. WTF?
WHILST IN TESCO WENT TO GET GUINESS but they didnt have any, its medicinal honest, i take no pleasure from it, its to improve my red blood count. honest. qanyway they didnt have any so i had to get brewdog black heart, its better than gunise., have a joint of pork cooking in slow cooker so roast pork sarnies all week
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sat 15 apl 1946hrs
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Posted:Apr 15, 2023 12:14 pm
Last Updated:Apr 15, 2023 12:14 pm 1137 Views
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So yesterday woke at 0500hrs. just refused to g back t sleep so thought what can i do today??? Then had a FUCK IT MOMENT. spent 20 mins onn line drove to SOUTHEND AIRPORT and jumped onto the 0620hrs flight to AMSTERDAM !
£23 each way and stayed 1 night at Princess Hostel Leidse Square Amsterdam. YES a hostel. bit like a posh barrack block, though the nice lady gave me one of the 5 single rooms they have because after chatting at the front desk, i said i hadnt been to Amsterdam in 30 years and the last time i was here i came with a party of RAF service men to the Hiney brewry. and didnt charge me the extra 10 euros. so my single room with tv not very far from the centre of the city, DAM SQUARE, WAS £75. yes bit pricey for a hostel i thought but the next cheapest was over £140. single person rate i guess.
Anyway easy jet where very good too. loaded my scooter last so was first off the plane, no charge and just took a small bag i stored in the over head locker on the A/C.
tHE BUS TRASFER with my scooter was £5 NOW THE BLIND PANIC...I had my money bank card and passport in a money belt thing with a small combination lock so pick pockets couldnt rob me, it was only while sitting in the cafe in the airport that i realised id left my phone on the front seat of my car ! not as bad as leaving the interior light on in the car in the airport parking like i did once before on a holiday to spain BUT no pics of chris at the sex museum.
have to say, the sex museum is ok but like sand dune strolls, best done with some one else..
had a snacky lunch and evening meal on a barge overlooking some dark and smelly cannal. but was very nice see sand dunes see sad old git billy no mates !
nice breakfast in the hostel along with the other 100 or so guests, mostly student types, the ones i sat near on the long tables where surprised i was doing it alone and disabled. let me get you another coffee Sir, said one nice american lad who is hitch hiking round europe with his girl friend.
this morning i did the city cruise and hineyy factory beir experiance a combined ticket for £31. It was the same patterr from the tour guide i heard 30 odd years ago i think, specially about the 'hippies' living on a brightly coloured barge. by now the 'hipies' must be well into their 80's lol. Then spent some time just wondering about had lunch and back to the airport.
where might the next fuck it moment take me...Grimsby ?
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THUR 13 APL 1015HRS
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Posted:Apr 13, 2023 3:08 am
Last Updated:Apr 13, 2023 1:55 pm 1693 Views
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JUST BACK FROM THE GYM. WOKE AT 0500 COULDNT GO BACK TO SLEEP been thinking a lot about what someone said to me the other day, thqat i should not use her as the arbiter of my happiness,
1 thats very easy to say but after so many years, the happiest ive known, its very hard not to. OK so there where times i got pissed off and angry but that was very rare, as i have to constantly control the anger and violence held inside me from years of military training and action. I know once 'let out' it has no limits till what ever it has been realised AT is either in intensive care or a hole in the ground OR i am in hospital or my own hole in the ground.
2 I have found the last 5 years with my foot, pain and lack of mobility very trying. if its trying for me it must be for others. I have tried really hard NOT to let it dictate what i do. but some times the pain and it is so debilitating. Its no fun driving all the way to Northumberland to see a castle and sand dunes, and the walk around the castle leaves you so knackered the thought of walking through the dunes is just too much. Then watching the person your with stroll off to said dunes while im stuck in the car! not because i didnt want to walk along the beach, i did very much, i just couldnt. and when they return they without knowing how disapointed and hurt i would be, simply say, its no fun walking through the sand dunes on your own. Its little things like that sow the seeds of resentment and unhappiness. the person i was with will never know HOW unhappy her one sentence made me feel. as i had FAILED to maker HER HAPPY, and thats ALL i ever wanted to do.
3 I realize that my happiness is or was tied up with hers. when i stopped making her happy and didnt know that i didnt change. i thought everything was fine so just carried on and we stopped being lovers and became like a bored husband and wife stuck in the same rut, both knowing we wanted more or something different BUT ....
so why did i start on losing wieght, ? as an outward sign that chris had changed. could change could be a different person, almost back to the chris i was 30 years ago mentaly and physicly,
not perfect but much nearer the old me i liked. im now down to 110kgs (the weight i was when i used to play rugby for the ROYAL AIR FORCE!!! but my target is 90kgs, so if i do go into hospital for 3 to 4 months im sure ill hit the target. I physicly fiiter as well than ive been for years too. this morning i was bench pressing 95kges
the weight loss gym and counciling to change or rediscover the me i liked was at first to try and impress someone else. to prove i could be a better happer person. if i liked me again maybe they would like me too again. I now realise that i may be different but they are too. and no matter how much weight i lose, i cant rewind the years that seem to fly by. i cant compete if thats the word with some one 20 years younger than me. i cant undo the allination that for some reason and im still not sure how this happened with her family, lol her still owes me a fiver he borrowed from me to tip the taxi driver when he came back from america.
so ill just muddle on, keep losing weight going to the gym etc take each day at a time not for anyone else but just for ME. Maybe one day, when we are both old and grey(er) we could rekindly things ,,,but with my medical shit who knows if ill live THAT long....if you see a small orb in your bedroom.....dont be calling Evett Fielding your know who or what it is lol.
Life only puts one or two good women in a mans path, so you just have to hope for the best and fight everyday for what you have.
the chances of meeting socialy once in a while for lunch now appear not to happen, so i have to except im TOTALLY alone. my rock that i would cling to in stormy seas has been submerged and im adrift. So thismorning i through out the last of the happy pills i havent taken them for a while as i thought i still had rock to depend on when times got really bad but i have to try to soldier own some how.
Mid morning i had a call from garon park, asking if i could pop in for a bit as they where short of 3 adults for a kiddies event .
Spent 2 hours helping hide hard boiled eggs around the cricket area. At 1300hrs I then helped out at the LITTLE HEROS LATE EASTER EGG HUNT. little heros is a charity for families with autistic , between the ages of 3 to 16. There was a animal petting area, pony and donkey rides and the hunt the red or yellow painted eggs. For some reason a little chap named Paul, aged 7 just latched onto me and we had a deep lng chat about the rabit he was stoking and his rabit at home. His rabit is called PETER, and BEER=REX OTTER has written lots of stories about a naughty rabit called peter that his mum and dad read to him. his rabit isnt as naughty as the rabit in the stories. but he does talk to his rabit, about what he has done at school or over the weekend. he then told me EVERYTHING he knew about rabits and how to look after them. As the other did other things he just wanted to sit with me and talk about rabits for over an hour....so i just sat on the big bench and listened to him, asking the odd questions about rabits, hutches and taking the rabit for a walk on a lead. his mother when it was time to leave told me he hardly ever speaks, she had no idea he talked to his rabit and she had NEVER seen him EVER talk to ANYONE about ANYTHING before., she couldnt thank me enough. I dont know who had a better time, paul or me. He insisted on giving me a hug good bye and his mum said he never does that to us. '' you must have a special gift ''. but honestly i dont know what i did so special, i t was just sort of happened. he reminded me a bit of some one i used to know maybe ? Anyway the lady who was running the event also thanked me for my time and had seen me sitting with the lad for so long and asked if i was avalible for future events. So i gave her my number and explained about what might happen re my foot and hospital, but i would be happy to assist at future events. tonight im watching NEW NAKED ALONE AND RACING TO GET HOME on channel 4. ITS SO FUNNY tHE 2 MILITARY VETS ARE AHEAD IN THE RACE BUT DOING NEARLY everything wrong. wondering round sweaty jockland naked is one thing but not eating , making the worst over night shelter ive ever seen,,,how ever did this twat pass out of basic training ? I WOULD have failed him on day 1, THE 4 RULES FOR SURVIVAL IN A NON COMBAT ZONE ARE...
1 WATER
2 FOOD
3 SHELTER
4 FIRE
not in that order but they are the 4 needed for survival
IN A COMBAT ZONE, CONCELMENT SHOULD BE A PRIME CONCIDERATION . sorry slipped into full on artic warfare mode. lol
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wed 12 apl 1238hrs
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Posted:Apr 12, 2023 5:45 am
Last Updated:May 3, 2024 9:23 am 882 Views
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part 1
went to hospital for my review in the LOUDEST shirt i could find, the shaak one . but its far too big for me now !!! The nursing staff in OPAT YESTERDAY WHEN I they where asking me to let them know how my review went today, wanted to see the loud shirt. as mr SALTER I WAS seeing is known for loud shirts too.
Only thing is the shirt IS WAY TO BIG for me now. One of the nurses wants it to weat with black leggings as a dress !!!!
So today i got up really early had a early shower in my very cold bathroom and tapped on up yo the hospital only to find my review was cancelled last friday.
Basildon was meant to call me but didnt. I even asked the opat team yesterday if it might have been cancelled with the doctors strike, but i was told it was with MR SALTER WHO DOES NOT DO WARD STUFF,,,but the appointment was NOT with SALET but SULTAN, who WAS doing ward stuff !!!
more later.
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TUE 11 APL 2134HRS
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Posted:Apr 11, 2023 1:51 pm
Last Updated:Apr 11, 2023 1:53 pm 840 Views
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TODAY I HAD A WONDERFUL DAY IN PARADISE.
WAS CHEERED UP BY A CONVERSATION AND CAUGHT UP WITH NEWS ABOUT PEOPLE I USE TO KNOW. THAT DESPITE what they may feel about me i still care about them. though still felt low afterwards lonelyness and regret , so had some carrot cake in waitrose !
just as well i didnt go to derbyshire last week i might have bumped into the ex and her new feella, at the cemetary, that would have been a bit difficult . i might still go there for the day just to get oat cakes and have a day out.
sent a wats app message but no reply
had foot done right foot now in a normal sock !!!
went to the gym for 2 hours in my musel showing off MEDIUM size T shirt lol. the perils of internet ordering lol.
have hospital review of left foot wed morning at 0920hrs
went to chelmsford munch tonight as was ging to the colly munch but mass traffic delays so just weht to chelsford one. very boring
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mon 10 apl 2011hrs
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Posted:Apr 10, 2023 12:41 pm
Last Updated:May 3, 2024 9:23 am 879 Views
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woke at 0700hrs took my pills and like normal fell back to sleep till 1230hrs. AS i dozed off i thought, wouldnt it be so easy to take a few more pain killers and just not wake up ? first time ive felt like that in months. i wonder why now ?
so had a very late breakfast / lunch. just 2 poached eggs on toast then watched tv PBS ammerica about foot prints fixed in the sand of a now dry lake bed, prints from 6 to 10k years ago. giant ground saloths , camels and mamathos AND human.
popped to tesco for some bread and petrol as still no new car.
watched a tv program about NHS MAGOT treatment for wounds that will not heal. might sugest it to OPAT when i have foot done tue or wed at my review with doc salter.
had my roast lamb, very nice though air fried roast spuds are not as good as oven roasted . ive got loads of lamb left .
whats on tv tonight ?
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